very good test day, followed by a solid conclusion of SEG and her saga.
test 1:
10a
1s mx292 back neck
i fumbled my contact in my eye for a bit this morning so for a while, i had bloodshot eyes (not from -none this time). therefore, i tried not to look anyone directly in the eyes. hardly congruent at all with mx292, i know, but i’ve seen some people with bloodshot eyes before and they look scary. as long as you are still nice about it, people won’t think you’re ignoring them.
my buddy joined up with me before class. we went to go pick seats and he picks one that has 5 seats open on one side and 2 on the other. i want(ed) SEG to sit next to him so i chose the seat beside him on the short side, thus leaving an entire group of seats open for SEG. on my side, it was one buffer seat and then non-db.
she’s a tricky one, that SEG. looked past the open seats and saw me, then saw the open seat next to me, then sat down next to me.
sidebar: seriously?! i think it was at this point when i decided to stop putting in work for my buddy. you’ll learn more about this later on.
so it was 2 hours of constant exposure to mx292. now check this out. i’m still not looking anyone in the eyes so i stare straight down at my notebook. all the while SEG is carrying on a conversation with me and non-db. the more i don’t look at her, the more she wants me to look at her. crazy how it works. here’s my breakdown: i was the “too cool” guy, or she thought i was negging her on purpose, or something along those lines. she shifted in her seat, flipped her hair, basically ran down the list of ioi trying to get me to look. nothing.
she loves the -none. i want her to love the -none too, but i need to be very careful with it.
test 2:
showered fresh
1s p81 @ 25 mcg
5p
met with my group (which she is in) for our project. i’d say 1 hour tops, she was sitting next to me. calm and collected hits. she’s normally very cheery and smiley. there was no mood change at the meeting, but her happiness was more mellow and somewhat relaxed.
my eyes were better at this point so i looked her in the eyes a few times. she had a bright look in her eyes. you know how some people have that glow right after having sex? it was that glow, but in her eyes. maybe she did just get done having sex, who knows. it’s like a long-lasting couple seeing each other after a day of work or something – there’s not really that “holy shit i’m so glad to see you!!!” feeling, but there’s still a happiness to see the other person. it was like that. as soon as i saw this, i wondered about its effects on sarah.
wasn’t able to test on her later in the day due to logistics.
effects to my buddy:
mx292- confounded. he seemed to not be feeling well earlier in the day, and this was before exposure to mx292.
p81 @ 25 mcg- uplifting. after the meeting i sat next to him in class. he was almost giddy like a girl. couldn’t concentrate on lecture, dropped his pencil a few times, random spaced-out/happy things.
and now finally, the conclusion to the SEG saga
briefly put… it’s very very awkward between her and my buddy. i haven’t looked back at my old reports and i apologize if this contradicts with anything i said before, but after today’s experiences, i definitely know it’s weird between them.
imagine a string of occurrences like the following–
SEG: hey, we should go try that new restaurant!
me: yeah, i love that kind of food. how about tomorrow for lunch?
SEG: yeah! i can’t wait!
…
me: ready to meet? i’ll swing by to pick up my buddy and be there in 5.
SEG: oh… i just ate. let me know how it is though, and maybe i’ll try it out another time.
the gist is that anything having to do with just me is ok. as soon as anything about my buddy comes into play, like he joins us or will be present, things take a turn for the worse. she becomes reclusive or invisible. jokes aren’t accepted well, etc.
so i’ve decided to just let things flow out between them. it’s best not to force anything.