pheromone fried rice

[jayarea]

this seems like it’s turning into a p96 series. and regarding SEG… it keeps getting easier.

2s p96 front neck, total 50 mcg
1s mx115 back neck
7:30p
exposure at 7:35p

we pick up where i left off this afternoon – she sent me an email, we emailed for a bit, then it was class time. i get there early and pick a spot in the middle of the room. dbag #1 (the biggest of them all) is at the far back corner. it just so happened that i was stretching in my seat and turning to face the door when i saw her. she was already on the way towards me (can’t miss an asian guy in a room that’s not full yet) and we smiled at each other. then db1 calls out to her. she looks over and pauses (i’ve returned to eyes front now in preparation for her to sit next to me) and then slowly walks over to db1. i know this based off the sound and location of her voice. very loudly, she asks why he’s in the corner. couldn’t hear the response, and then again in a loud voice she proclaims she likes to sit in the middle. highly doubt that; she’s been in the back and in corners before. who’s in the middle? me, of course.

i think db1 had his laptop plugged in and everything, and from what i heard, basically she told him if he wants to sit next to her, he’s moving with her to the middle by me. either she’s very good at reading minds, or she had the correct assumption, or something, but she somehow knew i didn’t like the kid she was with so instead of sitting by me in the same row (possibility of db1 or other db’s sitting by me) she picked the row behind me, and one to my right. if i turned in my chair, what’s the first thing i see? the seat one row behind me and one to my right, of course.

i know she’s behind me but i don’t turn around yet. they get to talking about the homework and i turn around to ask an arbitrary question. she looks surprised to see me talking to her at first, probably because we had only talked through email until that time, but then she lit up and started getting me into the conversation. well, db1 is also in the conversation, so i slowly make my way out of it. my buddy arrives and i start to talk to him.

in the first mention of her i talked about how the class we had together utilized teams. the prof emailed the class today asking if we had any team requests. for being named “surprise email girl,” this girl doesn’t check email very much. i turn around again to ask her if she wants to be in my team. she says “well, i don’t think we can pick teams.” i explain the prof’s email to her and she lights up again, even more this time, and says “sure!” i turn around again and class starts.

i believe that was the beginning of it. 2 hours sitting with 3 feet of a p96 and mx115 cloud. if it didn’t get to her this morning, it definitely got to her now. why p96? well, that’s what i’m testing. why mx115? comfort and attraction. we’re taking baby steps here towards a nice p96 + mx292 or mx301/2 cloud.

no more talking during class and she leaves the room fairly quickly when it ends (db1 getting to her?). i see her again at the bus stop. i stand by her and talk to my buddy as she talks to a random girl. good socializing and cloud mixing until a friend (non-db) pulls her away to ask a question. i had sent her an email earlier today asking about her plans for the weekend and she didn’t respond, so i was afraid to bring it up to her at the bus stop. turns out, as i had found out earlier, she doesn’t check email very much.

i’m bumming around at home before writing this and i see a new email pop up. “i’m free this weekend, i can hang out with you and your roommate. talk to me tomorrow in class, or text me.” well hey, that worked. i take another gamble and text her. we’ve now stepped up our communication to email, talking, and texting. not bad for a whopping span of about 8 hours.

she gets hyped up about partying with me and then asks if it’s just going to be us 3. i didn’t want her to feel uncomfortable or anything, so i say “well, you can invite some of the people we mutually know (and for whom i didn’t have contact info).” then i added, in a sense, that she could invite some of the lesser douchebag-y db friends… if she reeeeeeeeeeealllllllllly wanted to. i know she hangs out with them, and i didn’t want to be too rude. i worded it so that she wouldn’t get the idea to invite db1 or any of his cronies.

and then she totally flipped the tables on me. her response: “oh, those guys? nah, i don’t really like hanging out with those guys.”

WHOA.

she was reluctant to sit with db1 today, i could see that. but all the guys? my perception of this girl gets more wrong by the minute. don’t judge a book by its cover, and don’t judge a book until you’ve read it, i guess. yikes.

i’m digressing here, but the point is that whatever we had between us before 2pm today got torn down and restructured in about 8 hours. amazing. we’re set up to go for the weekend.

i have 2 classes with her tomorrow. i’m thinking p96 plus something midrange on the sexual scale for the first class (mx320?) and then p96 and something sexually heavy (mx301, 2s ammo, whatever) and something social (probably spaceland) for the second class. if she decides to come out with us then, i’ll layer something on.

this is my first real tester of the new school year and i’m very glad it’s working out well. also, p96, whatever you’re doing, please keep it up.

[pherophreak]

Good report. Keep it going.

[Snoopyace]

Awesome. Sounds like a killer combination you have there. Come to think of it, I’ve been so busy testing MX331-MX334 and playing with my home made brews lately I haven’t used MX115 in a while. Time to pair it with P96 and see what happens.

[jayarea]

“pausing” PS testing was bittersweet for me. it seemed like right as i made the decision to pause it, i started to get a good grasp of how to use it. i still owe mx331 a fair shot but now i have time to play with my other goodies. i got the big bottle of p96 so i have more room to experiment with it; the small bottles of p78 and meo-est will have to wait until i can find/get a good subject.

until this morning, i had never read dancing_joker’s p96. i decided to find and read it over brunch. he mentions something i totally agree with: p96 is more of a natural romance/attraction feeling, not overly sexual like -none or the like.

i get that.

yesterday morning, i held the door open for SEG. it wasn’t a “let me bend down to pick up your dropped item so i can peek up your skirt” thing, it was a friendly gesture. if she didn’t catch p96 walking behind me, she certainly caught it for the first time then. good start. i had forgotten to mention this next part in my previous report but a few minutes after the door incident, her pen ran out of ink (i saw her furiously scribbling to get the last drops out) so i casually slid my pen down to her. she finished writing and then slid it back to me. originally i thought this was a trivial issue that didn’t have to do with p96. it technically doesn’t, but if she caught p96 and then experienced all these nice gestures, they served to build upon the foundation of p96, namely natural and genuine attraction, be it friends or something more.

there’s also the matter of escalation, which catlord reminded me of in my PS PJ (pseudojournal). you have to be a man, you have to be the man, take charge and get things done. SEG’s first email was fairly business-y, or uptight, you might say. hi, you’re in a lot of my classes. i upped the ante and basically said ok, since we’re in a lot of classes, let’s trade contact info (email and ph#). while we were texting last night, i upped the ante again by using a smiley. we’ve gotten past the uptight/shy part, we have contact info, now let’s relax and be friends, have fun with it. if you say something funny, throw a smiley in. so i did. and then she used , , and in almost consecutive texts. i was having fun, and apparently so was she.

i’m on my way to see her in class right now, and boy do i have a wicked mix for her (smiley means i’m having fun!)

[Snoopyace]

Can’t wait to read how it goes!

[jayarea]

@Snoopyace

Can’t wait to read how it goes!

and all of class i was thinking to myself “i can’t wait til the guys on PT read this”

i was a bit late to the bus so i had to catch the bus right after the top of the hour, meaning i would get to class a bit late. meaning, i wouldn’t be able to sit next to SEG and bomb her with my mix. meaning, the day would be wasted. meaning…

wait, who just got on the bus? that’s right, SEG. where is the first available empty seat? that’s right, next to me. my day instantly got better. she saw me and smiled and nosedived right into the seat by me. what did i bomb her with?

2s p96 @ ~60mcg total
2s ih
2s/3s taa @ ~35mcg total

these were to each forearm, and my left hand (non-dominant hand) sometimes stutters during sprays, so i got a half spray or so in there for p96, and a half spray plus one extra full spray for taa (went for 2s on both).

the 10 min bus ride to class was a little quiet. still in the awkward phase of “oh, i guess we’re really friends now” deal. she forgot to bring her reading sheet so i talked to her briefly about what was on it, nothing more than that for the rest of the trip.

about 2 minutes before getting off, roughly 8 minutes into exposure, she leaned down to fix her shoe or something. when she got back up, she fidgeted a bit and the next thing i know, she’s just a smidge closer to me. still in the awkward phase, so i didn’t do much with it.

as soon as we got off, she started verbally bombing me. conversation was relaxed and humorous and like we were regular friends. we covered everything from class to the weekend to random things. good start to the “actually talking to the other real live person” phase of our friendship.

at our building, she wanted to go to the computer lab real quick to briefly check her email (waiting for a bill or something) and i went to the classroom, where i was presented with a dilemma. in one row, it was ex-db, a space, non-db, and then more spaces. crap. i sit on one side of ex-db, she takes the space, i’m cut off. i sit in the space, she sits on either side, i’m still cut off. since our friendship has been all about taking gambles and risks, i pick a spot next to non-db and create a plan of attack. i planned to flag her down or wave or something when she walked in so she knew to sit by me.

as luck would have it, the prof passed around some handouts before class. ex-db took one copy, non-db took one copy too. i saw this as my chance to make magic happen so i took two copies. SEG spent quite a long time with email and walked in a few minutes late. she didn’t want to disrupt class so she headed immediately for the row in front of me without looking around. as she passed my seat, i held out a copy of the handout to her. she took it and said thanks, and then was briefly shocked to see an entire group of empty seats by me. she circled around the row and came to sit next to me.

and 2 hours of cloud exposure at < 3 feet starts… now.

the hits

• mimicking- i lean back, she leans back. i cross my arms, she crosses her arms. the chairs in the room allow for rocking. i rock, she rocks.

• gradual diminishing of personal space. at one point i was resting my head in my hands with my elbows propped on the desk and she was doing the same. i dropped my right hand and leaned left on my left hand. she dropped her right hand and leaned right on her right hand. hello hello.

• light kino- since she forgot her reading paper, we passed mine back and forth. sometimes she would miss a section the prof covered so i would hold the paper in my left hand, hold it in front of her, and point out things with my right hand. she would also place one hand on the paper and follow along, and sometimes we would touch.

• the big moment- she was reading the paper and said “alright i’m done, you can take it back now.” i reach out my left hand to grab the paper. she doesn’t really hand me the paper as you would normally, but instead she moves her right hand really close to my left and sort of “transfers” the paper over. this doesn’t make sense in words without a picture, but read on. as i grab hold of the paper, she releases and then slides her hand across mine. very blatant.

• good conversation, open chatting, etc.

• i also had good rapport with non-db, which is good because he’s a friend of SEG too.

• she stopped briefly to say hi to ex-db after class and dropped my name, and he responded well and smiled at me. not bad.

after class i walked with her to the study room where she needed to go since it was on the way to the bus stop. very close personal distance, more good communication. i left her there until we meet again tonight at our other class.

conclusion
originally i had planned p96 + -none of some sort. after reading some reports, i figured this was the wrong way to approach the situation at this time. p96 doesn’t really give off a “fuck me now” vibe. it’s a fresh and flirty, solid connection feeling. i.e. let’s talk and hang out and flirt and build something on that. so -none, at this point, might send the wrong signal. i chose taa since i expected to be in close quarters, and ih to help build on our communication. i think it worked out in my favor. again, she has a bf, i have a gf. i’m sure she gets plenty of unwanted “let’s hook up” vibes from the db friends, and i certainly don’t need to be sending out those vibes to anyone. a nice chatty, comfortable, solid, natural vibe hit the spot just right.

i think that’s my word for p96. natural.

[jayarea]

p96 puts the pieces together

i am extremely extremely hungover right now so this report will cover the basics. if i need to elaborate on something i’ll do it later when my head isn’t yelling at my body.

7:30p
showered fresh
2s p96 total 50mcg
2s ih
2s taa total 20mcg
1s mx320

had a few open spots to my side but some random guy (never seen him before) took the seat next to me, even with open spots elsewhere. what a dick. SEG sat a few rows back across the room. whatever. no mix bomb for her.

after class my buddy and i stop by where she’s sitting to give her the plans for the night. she agrees and comes with us. 5 minute walk to my buddy’s car; lots of bumps into me, leaning close to talk, smiles when anything regarding our similar classes was mentioned. roughly 45 min of exposure including back at our place for pregame.

9:50p
layered on 5s spaceland
1s mx301

spaceland in the to-go smells like suntan lotion. spaceland in the big bottle smells like shit. first time using it.

then headed out to the bars. very good socializing, kino all around, etc. then she asks me if my roommate is single. he is. she starts cozying up to him. i’m not saying this was the cause of her cozying up to him, but i am very proud that my new roommate, who has only known me for a few weeks, has started to be able to borrow my sig like my close friends do.

she took a little interest in him and he played it up. i stirred up a whiff of my mix and then gave them some distance. she loved it. great rapport with him, even more rapport with me.

if last night was a movie, it would have been at this point when dramatic music comes on and the camera widens out to show a big hunk of trouble coming our way. an interaction-free night would just be too easy, right?

none other than the main db1 himself, ex-db, and non-db show up. ex-db, who i view as her best friend out of the three, had been in contact with her throughout the night and later on i found out she didn’t really give him exact locations; they just sort of found us. this is important later.

in realtime, today, right now: i just stopped writing to get some food in my body. get this hangover gone, and also to get some energy for writing this next part. hoo boy, awesome part of the night.

we stood outside of the bar as the guys approached. p96 kicked into high gear. out game, out frame, naturally. my buddy and i turn to face the guys and SEG moves behind us. graceful movement. i give a handshake to non-db and say hi to ex-db. he’s the only other asian in this story right now so i think he has some “asian jealousy” towards me (i’m cool with him) so we haven’t really connected, but whatever. i turn the mix dial up to 11. social, status, sexual, it was all there. my buddy frames up (i’m so proud of him ) and really brings out the status. SEG stays planted behind us.

the result of this was that non-db stood facing me, ex-db faced my buddy, and db1 was all the way in the back of his group. i know now that he was there, but at the time, i thought it was just two people and didn’t see him back there until ex-db had to step around me and my buddy to talk to SEG.

which, he literally had to do. my buddy and i never moved. not that we were standing guard or anything (in SEG’s eyes, maybe) but we were chillin and talking and had no need to move. ex-db talked to SEG “between” us and when he wanted to show her something on his phone, he walked around us. SEG never moved either. i had stopped talking at this point and was purely fascinated at the social interaction and logistics going on.

i’m pretty sure db1 never said a word. my buddy and i have technically never met him (even though we know his name and who he is) so we didn’t say hi to him, only kinda smiled and acknowledged his presence. he had some longing looks over at SEG (we know for a fact he’s been hitting on her hard) but no verbal approaches. if anybody is getting to her, it’s ex-db, and that’s only because he’s sidestepping me and my buddy.

they said they were heading off to another bar a few minutes away and we told them we might catch up later. more social logistics follows. they form back into a group and make their way past my buddy on the outside of the sidewalk, nearest the street. SEG shifts from behind us to more behind/to the side of me, nearest the inside of the sidewalk, again placing distance and me and my buddy between her and the db group.

wow.

parents do this with their kids, sarah stands behind me in uncomfortable situations… it’s all very natural. SEG got this feeling that she could “trust” me and my buddy to “protect” her. this becomes even more surprising when you bear in mind she’s only “known” me for a day or so, and she had just met my buddy (the shy one who used to have a thing for her) mere hours ago after class.

my other roommate was kind enough to stay out with us and drive even though he had work early this morning, since we didn’t quite know the bus schedule to and from the bars yet. after the db group leaves, he catches up with us and takes us back.

on the walk to his car, the alcohol kicks in, maybe ih too. i give a few verbal hints to my buddy and he knows what’s going to happen, but is too shy to make it happen. roughly put, i ask SEG why she hangs out with db1. she laughs and says “i had a feeling you guys didn’t like him.” so we clarify and rephrase that we wanted to know what she saw in him. crucial step in “weaning” him away. she explained that he just kinda showed up by her one day (read: hit on her) and she had just been tolerating him around. her body language and lack of vocal language, combined with social logistics from last night, gave what seemed to be a big hint to him as to her feelings. we all see each other again today; i’ll report back if anything interesting happens.

here is where the important part from earlier comes into play. still with an alcohol-induced sort of cocky playfulness, i ask SEG if she wants to go see her lover at the other bar (“lover” being ex-db). she says “whatever.” i do this a few more times (yeah, i was stupid drunk) and each time, i specifically refer to ex-db – sometimes as “lover,” sometimes by his name. SEG knows exactly who i’m talking about, still the same answer of “whatever.” from the current bar, it’s a straight shot down the road back to the house or you can take an exit off to the section of bars where the db group was. my roommate driving says “ok guys, are we going home or to other bars?” i was sitting shotgun, SEG and my shy roommate in the back. i turn my head to SEG and ask her directly, “do you want to go hang out with [name of ex-db] at the other bar?” she immediately and seriously replies “no, i have no interest in seeing him.”

let that sink in for a bit.

instant silence in the car. my driving roommate, while he isn’t in any of our classes, knows the story behind the db group. shy roommate knows it. i know it. her definite answer rang true in all of our heads. she made a choice, she made that choice clear, and she put the ball squarely into our court. in a sense, she gave the db group a shot. she told us she went out with them last week. had an ok time. this week, she went out with us. we have plans for tonight and saturday too. she made it clear that she has a good time with us; now it’s our turn to step up our game and really show her a good time. not that we all (us and the db group) can’t be friends, as we’re going to see each other in class anyway, but as with many things in life, it’s survival of the fittest. the db group wasn’t cutting it for her so we stepped in to try to pick up their slack. we had a great time at the house during a very intimate pregame, good times at the bar, now we need to keep it up.

short conclusions since i have to run to campus now

• p96. very natural. solid feelings. pair it with ih and you’re set.
• be a better man. frame up, game up, handle your business. those who appreciate better men (sarah, SEG, other girls, cool guys, etc) will make the right decision to be around you.
• mx301 kicks ass. i didn’t touch much on it in the report but it definitely turned things a bit sexual. good kino hits from me, worked out well for my roommate.

all in all an epic night. my diminished hangover right now is totally worth it.

back later hopefully with fun stuff to report.

[Snoopyace]

Fantastic! I have also had GREAT luck with P96. When I get the chance I’ll have to report on it. It is amazing how much this seems to help with the all important rapport between people.

[jayarea]

@Snoopyace

Fantastic! I have also had GREAT luck with P96. When I get the chance I’ll have to report on it. It is amazing how much this seems to help with the all important rapport between people.

time to throw in one of our favorite phrases: “i need this in a 50-gallon drum”

campus run today was a bust.

4s ih
2s p96 50mcg

sat next to SEG for a while but then realized that the lecture we were attending was not pertinent to us at all. she wanted to stay in order to hang out with a third party friend afterwards; my buddy and i decided to bust out and get some work done around the house.

definitely got some cloud to her though. we texted a while earlier and just started texting again now. i don’t know who she hung out with later or if the db crew showed up, but the tone of voice she’s taking in her texts makes it seem as if we should’ve stayed. oh well. there’s always later.

[jayarea]

the evilness comes out

3s p74 @ 30 mcg total

small group meeting for class today. roughly an hour of exposure to SEG with other people around, around 30 minutes of “alone time” exposure. (15 min walking to and from the building)

i actually think i may have od here. maybe it was too much of an initial shock or change for her.

good rapport while walking to the building. i could see the tension in her, and a bystander could cut it with a butter knife. it was thick. of the 15 minutes walking to the building, the first 3 were a bit awkward. not so much between us, but just in general – who schedules group meetings for saturday? the next 12 were completely awesome sauce. she started drifting towards me and closing the distance between us. body language and ioi were on point too: hair flips, chest held out, smooth graceful movements. then she got really close. my hand hit her purse many times because she was so close, and let me just say that if her purse was not there, well, you can guess what my hand would have brushed. i think that is what she was going for too.

then she got too close. close enough for the relationship meter to go off in her head and snap her out of her trancelike state. it might’ve been that last brush against her purse, or too much kino, or whatever. i watched her face as the realization came to her: “wow, i’m really close to this guy.” it was amazing, like she had no idea just how close she was getting to me. we were walking side by side and after the realization, her next few steps were almost perpendicular to me, like she was a running back juking a defender. she put a good 3 feet between us in a matter of steps, and this was even more surprising considering there wasn’t even 3 inches between us before.

decided to play it down a bit before turning it up again. met up with other students and found an open room. luckily the other students were timid so the focus was still on my sig. i threw some jokes and funny comments out there to get everyone relaxed and ready to work, with a secondary goal of getting SEG comfortable.

the topic was teamwork and synergy in groups, so i waited for the perfect time to bring this into me turning things up. as we filed into the room, we just grabbed random desks. i actually started out very far away from SEG. panicked a bit at first before this idea came to me. once discussion started, i brought my idea out. we were seated in a circular fashion. i picked up my desk and placed it smack down right next to SEG’s. she and everyone looked surprised while i kept my cool. i simply said, “hey, if we’re talking about teamwork, let’s start looking like a team, right?” then i explained my reason – i was far away from SEG, and also happened to be far away from the whiteboard. by moving my desk closer to the whiteboard (read: closer to SEG) and having everyone else turn to face the whiteboard in a semicircle, we could still converse with each other and now use the whiteboard. everyone applauded me for this idea and moved their desks.

come on guys, i’m just trying to get my cloud closer to the target. two birds with one stone, right?

that was the start of turning things up. SEG got lost in her trance again. it began with body language mimicking. leaning back, leaning forward, arms crossed, hands at sides, whatever; she was an exact mirror of me. originally i had planned to escalate by using words, as i did last night. i saw how much she mirrored my body language that i decided to use this instead. slowly i leaned towards her (to my right). you would think that if she’s mirroring me, she would also lean right, correct? no. and this was one time i was very happy to be wrong. she started leaning towards me. eventually i was kinda slumped down in my desk and had my head near my right hand in the “thinker’s pose.” she was sitting up more proper but with her weight on her left side, sort of resting her left elbow on the desk.

regular joes might stop there and be happy. not us good folks from pherotalk. i then introduced humor and extreme cloud immersion. humor to get her comfortable and build on the anchor feelings i established last night. cloud immersion simply to get more use out of my product. she loved it. group meetings are never fun, and what’s worse is that we had one student who “tried” to be a leader but wasn’t organized, so things were sloppy for a while. everyone put things together by the end and i was there with my humor to help things along. to be able to hear “hey, you made today’s meeting really fun, thanks”… that’s something out of this world.

regular good folks from pherotalk might stop there and be happy. not jayarea. jayarea is sort of stupid like that. i further introduced light non-sexual kino. passing papers back and forth, brushing her if i got up to draw on the board, etc. harmless touches. these were accepted well. i wanted to find her limit. on top of that, i wanted to try to break her limit within good reason.

the very first time i met her, she was kino-ing me up and down. at one point she was walking in front of me and just stopped so that i bumped into her, then kept going. later on i think she caught wind that my buddy liked her (he used to, doesn’t now, but appreciates having the company of a female around) so she got a little confused and withdrawn, i.e. “well if touching jayarea will make his buddy mad, and touching his buddy will make jayarea mad, then i’ll just stop kino altogether.” she’s been like that recently. i wanted to get her back to that first day’s feeling. relaxed, casual flirting, not worried about too many logistics and social implications.

i might have found her limit, but the meeting was wrapping up so i didn’t try to break it. on the walk back away from the building, i think she got a little overloaded from the mix. or she was physically tired, or both. the meeting blew us all out. not too much talking, a few laughs, no more kino. i also stayed reserved to sort of “hold/save my spot” and not ruin whatever i had just built up.

we parted ways and just texted each other briefly a few minutes as i was writing this. it seems like her mood changes when i bring up my buddy. it’s perfectly fine if i walk to the meeting with her, but once i invited her to dinner with us, somehow her saturday evening just got filled up. she likes hanging out with us, but i think she’s still torn between us. i believe my best option is to not mention this anymore and just go with the flow. let the mix work around her and feed it to my buddy if he needs it.

[jayarea]

SEG got into bed with my buddy, who has only known her for about a week and hung out with her maybe twice. pheros are powerful like that.

[developingperfectionist]

You seem annoyed. Did you have feelings for her?

[jayarea]

@developingperfectionist

You seem annoyed. Did you have feelings for her?

wow.

wow wow wow.

i just repped the heck out of you for that. if you aren’t familiar with how reps work yet, just know that it’s a good thing.

right around the time you posted that, i was formulating a post in my head while watching tv. lo and behold i come here to post it and your post gives a very nice segue into the topic.

let’s start at the beginning. i do have a serious gf (not her) so no matter how crazy i get with testing and helping buddies out, she comes first and i uphold my commitment. we’re currently doing a long distance thing that seems to be working out well, and since we go to different schools, we know and have talked about the various social situations that come up.

yes, when she goes out with her friends (most of whom are single) all dolled up and stuff, people will look. they’ll dance and have fun and if any guy decides to test his luck with her, she and her friends know to shoot him down real quick. likewise, i’m a very social person and enjoy having a great time. with great times come girls, and pretty much everyone here knows i’m off the market. if i might be within close quarters of other girls for testing, she’s the first to know.

to answer your question, am i annoyed and/or did i have feelings for her? no, and no. we started as friends and we go out as friends. no matter what may happen during testing – kino, being playful, whatever – we’re both smart and mature enough to keep our heads straight. this is why i was so shocked at mx301 last night (from the p96 report in the main section). mx301 got her so wired and feeling so strong towards me that if i would have said “yeah, let’s pretend for a night i don’t have a gf” she would have been all over me, even as smart as she is to know to not get with me. as i mentioned, primal desires were in effect. she wanted sex and she wanted sex from the person giving out the sexual sig, which unfortunately was me. that led to me having a really hard time manually rewiring her system to start following my buddy.

the post you’re referring to is short and may sound crass, but at the time of writing, i was still in shock at the power of pheros. combined with the hangover i had this morning and the lengthy posts on p96, i was a little blown out and just wanted something brief here so that readers of my journal could stay up to date.

here’s part 1 of the post i was going to write: i’m not annoyed, but i am… you could say uncertain. what happens next? i’m pretty sure my buddy can’t spell her name correctly; it’s slightly foreign. yet, they got together. will this make class time weird or awkward? if she ever comes over again, will she have the incorrect assumption of “oh well, looks like i’m staying in that room again in that bed again tonight”? i certainly hope not. she and my buddy are both mature people. we had a great time over the weekend, the heat in the loins took over at the end of the night, and now hopefully we can take that for what it is/was. my buddy didn’t make a big deal out of it today, and when i talked to SEG earlier, she said she had a great time with us and made no mention of getting with my buddy. i mean, we all know she got with him, but i was dreading something like “well, i had fun with [my buddy], but…” this is probably me just overhyping things.

here’s part 2 of the post i was going to write: i’ll be honest. i had a very good time this past week, not just last night. from getting that first email and watching/making things go from “strictly business” friends to “hey, come over and party” friends, to the playfulness as we hung out more, to watching the dynamics between her and my buddy as they took matters into their own hands and formed their own bond through flirting.

i miss that. i really do.

i miss the spark. i miss the chase. the innocence, the rush of feelings, and from a phero pov, the excitement of observing what a phero does with a target.

i got nostalgic real bad after finishing my p96 post so i did a once-over of the early parts of my journal, where i was roughly in the same position as my buddy with sarah, who was not yet my gf. SEG hung out at our house three consecutive days in a row (easily could have had four but we didn’t know her too well then) with sex on the third “date.” after returning to school from winter break, when i first started with pheros, sarah spent a good three or so consecutive weeks at my place, also with sex on the third “date.” it was like reliving my journal, sort of watching it happen in front of me with two new players.

it’s like reading a story about a dog getting hurt or something and then going home and hugging your dog. you really don’t know what you have until it’s gone. certainly sarah and i deal with way more advanced things now in the growth and maturity stages of our relationship, but this experience made me keep in mind the fact that we can’t lose touch with how we started. our first sloppy drunken kisses, the first time my hand wandered south and sarah didn’t mind, the first time sarah herself wandered south, all these things seem trivial now but it’s what shaped our early days. to lose track of it would be a shame.

both my buddy and SEG brought up the incident featured in a report a few posts back about running into the db friends and how we framed up and unofficially became her protectors, and she even framed up herself a bit and sent out more aggressive negative body language to really show the db friends she didn’t want to be with them.

i think we started something real here. i’m excited to develop it more.

[jayarea]

as i predicted, class was fairly awkward

on the way to class, my buddy said he was hoping it wouldn’t be weird. as he didn’t take any necessary actions to prevent that, i did not have high hopes.

we get to class and what do you know… there’s SEG surrounded by the db friends. didn’t we already solve this conundrum?

possible inferences:

1. it’s all just a natural fluke. seating positions are random and you can’t control random things.

2. db friends were there first, and she placed distance between herself and open seats so that we would not sit next to her.

3. along these same lines, perhaps she was there first and she asked db friends to sit by her, also to create distance.

• something else?

my buddy was definitely weirded out so he bolted quick after class. i saw no need for competition so i didn’t wait around in the “line” to talk to her. later i emailed her, no response yet.

we may have started something real here, and i also think we started something crazy.

[developingperfectionist]

hah, I understand what you meant. I’ve read up on the entire log a while back, so I understood what you were going through. I just wasn’t sure how YOU felt until the last post

I recently went through a relationship with someone of a different race myself so I understand the beginning aspect of what you went through. Unfortuantely, I’m a very fleeting individual and can’t stay on one person much too long.

I was going to write .. it’ll probably be awkward no matter what. Especially if your friend doesn’t play the part correctly. It seems that it did turn out that way! I hope it fixes itself!

[jayarea]

@developingperfectionist

hah, I understand what you meant. I’ve read up on the entire log a while back, so I understood what you were going through. I just wasn’t sure how YOU felt until the last post

I recently went through a relationship with someone of a different race myself so I understand the beginning aspect of what you went through. Unfortuantely, I’m a very fleeting individual and can’t stay on one person much too long.

I was going to write .. it’ll probably be awkward no matter what. Especially if your friend doesn’t play the part correctly. It seems that it did turn out that way! I hope it fixes itself!

well said. i think if the db friends weren’t there, it wouldn’t have been as awkward. without being able to communicate with her, that aura of awkwardness couldn’t be penetrated.

my buddy is a nice guy and has good intentions. since obviously he got with her, he’s outgoing enough to know what to do in certain situations. however, when it’s all said and done, he goes back into his shell and waits for the dust to settle.

he seriously started freaking out after class and even said he doesn’t know how to spell her name (i wrote that in my last post. BUDDY, ARE YOU READING THIS?! ) i took that first initiative to re-break the ice with an email i sent to her.

no reply all day, and this could have been for two reasons: she hates us now, or email isn’t a priority for her. luckily for us, it was the latter. she said her old laptop finally broke down and needed to find a public computer to check email and stuff. her reply came back with lots of smileys. she’s normally very smiley when she talks so i know she’s being real and “serious,” not faking it or just throwing in smileys for good measure.

i’ll jump on the texts later tonight and see if i need to reestablish anything else. in the meantime, i taught my buddy how to spell her name correctly and said he should probably send some sort of contact to her soon.

[jayarea]

welcome new readers dropping in from the p96 and PS posts, hello again to my regular readers.

let’s start with the basic timeline so that everyone is on the same page.

1. monday, 8.24- exchanged a few words with a girl, cute, 22. soon to be SEG.
2. tuesday, 8.25- first contact with SEG (surprise email girl) through what else, a surprise email. later that day, traded contact info and chatted for a bit.
3. wednesday, 8.26- first real in person live contact with her. simple conversation. still thinking about what to say to each other.
4. thursday, 8.27- buddy meets her for the “first time.” we all go out, she is fairly timid but opens up well.
5. friday, 8.28- just me and her. i used spaceland and got some good alpha -nol hits.
6. saturday, 8.29- buddy hangs out with her for the second time. very good p96 hits. opened up with mx301 later in the night and i think that set things off. she goes to bed with my buddy at the end of the night.
7. sunday, 8.30- no interaction
8. monday, 8.31- day of awkwardness. buddy finally sent her some contact.

so now we’re still a little in the past, monday evening. i couldn’t let things slip out of place so i took matters into my own hands and tried to make things less awkward.

3s mx332
if you are coming over from the p96 thread only, you can read this report here: mx331-334 (panty scorcher) pseudojournal - #74 by jayarea

or you can skip it and read the gist here: apparently she has a bf

when i first met her, she looked and acted single. flirted with everyone, lots of kino, etc. there was a rumor that she had a bf, but i’ve lost trust in rumors. after my buddy said he liked her, i worked some phero action to get her comfortable around him. it worked.

then, i think regret kicked in. or, a need to prevent future awkward situations. whatever it was, i don’t think it was conscience. if it was conscience, this whole situation would not have happened.

point of clarification: keen eyes may have noticed that i never once used any sexual terms to describe her actions with my buddy in this post. he divulged to me that while they did go to bed together (literally) nothing happened. the attempt was there, the clothes were off, but then there was some logistical error probably regarding condoms or something, and all actions were off from that point. it was revealed to me later that he slept on one side of his bed and had a large buffer DMZ between her, who slept on the complete opposite side of the bed.

i was presented with this issue when some of her friends told my buddy that indeed she does have a bf. he’s in shock. i can’t believe it either. i brought it up to her last night and in a very roundabout manner, she reluctantly admitted to having a bf. by this i mean she never outright said “hey, i can’t sleep with your buddy anymore because i have a bf.” it was always “well, i don’t know if i can go out with you guys at [a predetermined date] because this guy might visit me” or “next time i come over, maybe i can crash on the couch.” this guy this, this guy that, and after a few times, i got the hint. i dropped the subject and so did she. then i went to bed.

fast forward to today.

2s p96 @ 50 mcg
2s mx203
neck and hair

again, the subject was not brought up. no awkwardness whatsoever. same good p96 hits as usual, mx203 actually seemed to take a supporting role here.

conclusion regarding the awkwardness
it’s gone. back to normal friends now, perhaps even better off than before. can’t say much more than that…

conclusion regarding her
well… don’t know if i’ve reached one yet. this was a “touching the hot stove” incident; now we know better. my perception of her has changed, certainly not for the better, but not necessarily for the worse either. it’s just… changed. and that’s been the whole basis of our relationship – changing perceptions. we’re still gonna hang out with her and we’re still gonna see her in classes, so it’s not like we can just completely shut her away.

all i can say is that this could have turned out worse. i’ll give it some time to settle and keep you guys posted if anything happens. as for testing, i’ll still go with her but i might switch things up and not always focus on comfort.

[jayarea]

very good test day, followed by a solid conclusion of SEG and her saga.

test 1:
10a
1s mx292 back neck

i fumbled my contact in my eye for a bit this morning so for a while, i had bloodshot eyes (not from -none this time). therefore, i tried not to look anyone directly in the eyes. hardly congruent at all with mx292, i know, but i’ve seen some people with bloodshot eyes before and they look scary. as long as you are still nice about it, people won’t think you’re ignoring them.

my buddy joined up with me before class. we went to go pick seats and he picks one that has 5 seats open on one side and 2 on the other. i want(ed) SEG to sit next to him so i chose the seat beside him on the short side, thus leaving an entire group of seats open for SEG. on my side, it was one buffer seat and then non-db.

she’s a tricky one, that SEG. looked past the open seats and saw me, then saw the open seat next to me, then sat down next to me.

sidebar: seriously?! i think it was at this point when i decided to stop putting in work for my buddy. you’ll learn more about this later on.

so it was 2 hours of constant exposure to mx292. now check this out. i’m still not looking anyone in the eyes so i stare straight down at my notebook. all the while SEG is carrying on a conversation with me and non-db. the more i don’t look at her, the more she wants me to look at her. crazy how it works. here’s my breakdown: i was the “too cool” guy, or she thought i was negging her on purpose, or something along those lines. she shifted in her seat, flipped her hair, basically ran down the list of ioi trying to get me to look. nothing.

she loves the -none. i want her to love the -none too, but i need to be very careful with it.

test 2:
showered fresh
1s p81 @ 25 mcg
5p

met with my group (which she is in) for our project. i’d say 1 hour tops, she was sitting next to me. calm and collected hits. she’s normally very cheery and smiley. there was no mood change at the meeting, but her happiness was more mellow and somewhat relaxed.

my eyes were better at this point so i looked her in the eyes a few times. she had a bright look in her eyes. you know how some people have that glow right after having sex? it was that glow, but in her eyes. maybe she did just get done having sex, who knows. it’s like a long-lasting couple seeing each other after a day of work or something – there’s not really that “holy shit i’m so glad to see you!!!” feeling, but there’s still a happiness to see the other person. it was like that. as soon as i saw this, i wondered about its effects on sarah.

wasn’t able to test on her later in the day due to logistics.

effects to my buddy:
mx292- confounded. he seemed to not be feeling well earlier in the day, and this was before exposure to mx292.

p81 @ 25 mcg- uplifting. after the meeting i sat next to him in class. he was almost giddy like a girl. couldn’t concentrate on lecture, dropped his pencil a few times, random spaced-out/happy things.

and now finally, the conclusion to the SEG saga

briefly put… it’s very very awkward between her and my buddy. i haven’t looked back at my old reports and i apologize if this contradicts with anything i said before, but after today’s experiences, i definitely know it’s weird between them.

imagine a string of occurrences like the following–
SEG: hey, we should go try that new restaurant!
me: yeah, i love that kind of food. how about tomorrow for lunch?
SEG: yeah! i can’t wait!
…
me: ready to meet? i’ll swing by to pick up my buddy and be there in 5.
SEG: oh… i just ate. let me know how it is though, and maybe i’ll try it out another time.

the gist is that anything having to do with just me is ok. as soon as anything about my buddy comes into play, like he joins us or will be present, things take a turn for the worse. she becomes reclusive or invisible. jokes aren’t accepted well, etc.

so i’ve decided to just let things flow out between them. it’s best not to force anything.

[jayarea]

some updates and drunk sleuthing at its finest

• SEG and my buddy finally “made up.” i’m a bit frazzled that SEG took the lead (meaning my buddy still didn’t do anything to reconcile the situation, argh) but at least they’re fine now. it started with a simple “hey” email and then they cleared up that yes indeed, things were awkward, but that’s water under the bridge now, and we should all go back to having good times together.

• my personal theory? she hung out with some other guys, figured they couldn’t party as awesome as my buddy and i can, so she came back to us. i arrived at that conclusion after hearing she initiated contact. whatever the case, we’re good to go for more testing.

• yeah and speaking of testing, i thought i had lost my full bottle of mx301 too. i searched high and low for it. no dice. then i remembered i used it the night my buddy got with SEG… then i remembered i had been drinking that night. :o

• the p96 thread confirmed this. i was in a hurry that night so i probably put it on and then threw the bottle way back into my closet somewhere as long as it made it safely back, and i would get it later. sure enough, way in the back of my closet, was my bottle.

2 mx292 last night at the bars. even less people around than thursday. buddy seemed to like it though, gave him lots of swagger. might take it easy tonight to save pheros.

[jayarea]

2s meo-est @ 150 mcg neck

SEG was immediately comfortable. dj wasn’t kidding when he mentioned this as a dirty trick. i think if you’re with a girl you like, heading toward some new part of the relationship be it sex or whatever, 150 mcg meo-est will really help.

i had it on when i picked her up. just a wee bit of awkwardness due to what happened previously but after the 5 minute ride back home, she was all good. then the meo-est hit her (or took effect) and she was really good. leaned back in the chair, feet up, very relaxed body language and mindset. had it been a warmer night than last night, i would’ve been shirtless and she probably would have too.

then i saw it. we had just gotten done with a shot and i ran out of the necessary ingredients so i improv’d and it turned ok but had more of a bite on the end. i picked up my drink to chase it. as i set down my drink, SEG reached over and ______________ my drink to get a sip for herself.

there’s that blank there because i still have no idea what she did; she somehow ended up with my drink. it wasn’t a snatch or grab, she didn’t wait until it hit the table before getting it, she just “transferred” it over to her like it was a baton in a race. very natural. almost like something sarah would do.

you may notice that i compare SEG to sarah (my gf) a lot. while she is nothing like my gf, her actions with p96/p74/meo-est/etc are shockingly similar. the takeaway point here is that with these products and the right attitude, a girl that was previously a stranger can feel like a steady gf. let’s say my buddy didn’t screw up with her. strip poker, more intimate dancing at the clubs… nothing would be out of the question. shocking and amazing.

layered on
2s mx301 back neck

as we head out, it got to be like old times. she was on my left, my buddy on my right. it’s funny how there’s always this “distance” between them at the beginning of the night. a few hours later and you have to pry those two apart.

slight kino during this time too. first was a light punch from her after a funny joke, then i kinda messed with her hair a little (imitating somebody) and finally a small shove from her (her turn to imitate that person). the shove was the kicker – it wasn’t a “get out of my way” shove even though that was the intent; she had her hand on me for a while, then shoved me, but instead of pushing me off her hand, her fingertips kinda lingered on my body.

i got the “bump and hold” from a girl earlier while wearing PS, and missed my mark with it. after a slight berating by catlord, i knew to never miss such a chance again. this “shove and linger” move was my calling. i stopped worrying about my buddy at this time (in a nice way) and started making my own inroads.

the name of the game last night was “hand on her back.” in a trancelike state with PS, this works wonders. i wanted to personalize and reshape it a little to send the right message: *no matter how much my buddy screws up with you, i am still here ready to party with you. **you *can feel comfortable around me while we’re out.

and oh yeah, she got that message. SEG is a smaller girl so she walks slower, my buddy is more athletic than all of us so he walks faster, and i walk somewhere in the middle. we always seem to make a line when we walk around. when SEG fell back too much, i waited up for her and then placed my hand on her back to kinda “push” her up with the rest of the group. she loved it. whenever we entered a bar, i would hold the door and put my hand on her back as she passed me.

never too low like i would with sarah, never too high like i would with other guys (a la “old chums”). always at the right spot and always with the right attitude. freakin magical.

bar 1: cheap drinks, and cheap drinks only. everyone stops here for cheap drinks to start the night and then they leave; the people who stay are staying for the cheap drinks and hoping to make something of it later on. no dance floor, ok/decent music, pool table/darts don’t even work. cheap drinks only. my buddy leaves to go to the restroom. SEG almost puts her hand in my pocket to lead me to the bar. it wasn’t actually in my pocket, but she pulled on something on my pants to drag me over. very interesting. we pull up to the bar and already she’s standing very close to me. the music is loud so there’s a lot of leaning in as we discuss drinks.

then it turns out she was standing in front of where the waitresses pick up drink orders so the bartender asked her to scoot over a bit. where did she scoot? into my arms. no, seriously. picture me at the bar with both hands on it, kinda leaning on it. the bartender asks her to scoot. she basically nudges her way into one arm. i drop that arm and she scoots even further into my chest. i turn slightly to give her more access to the meo-est on the front of my neck. my free arm was feeling kinda weird so where did it go? on her lower back, of course. after i put it there, she swooned a bit and literally molded herself into my body.

approximately 5 minutes into bar 1 and i had already hit the jackpot.

buddy comes back, we chug some drinks, then leave.

slight logistics issue that we did not foresee of many places closing down for the holiday weekend. is that expected? all last week i heard ads on the radio for fun places because “nobody has work on monday.” and yet tons of places were closed. our two hot spots weren’t open, so we decided to try out a new place that we usually pass.

bar 2: buddy walks in first, i walk in second and hold the door, hand on her lower back as she passes. win. we make our way to the bar. my buddy turns around and talks “over” SEG to ask me what i want to drink. before i can answer, i find myself suddenly headed toward the dance floor. but i’m not walking that way. instead, i’m being dragged by SEG to go dance. it was like the drink thing from earlier in this post. i don’t really know what happened. i was just in my zone and then i realized i was headed for the dance floor. i held up two fingers to indicate i’d take whatever my buddy got.

on the dance floor, it was friend-y for a while. then she turned around. then she danced back into me. then she grabbed my hand… i had to reposition slightly so that things weren’t too sexual but i ended up dancing with her. i had seen this type of dancing from her before, more specifically, last week right before my buddy got with her. she was feeling it.

buddy came back with a drink for me (SEG had said she was done for a while; remember she’s a small girl). i take a sip and immediately she’s grabbing it and also taking sips. my buddy notices this so the next time she looks like she wants a drink, he offers her his drink and she sips from that too.

the comfort is now not just all with me. it has extended to my buddy. big deal, right? in a way, yes. with their awkward history and what not, i breathed a sigh of relief when they got comfy. it sucked being able to feel such an awkward tension between them.

bar 3: SEG was in a dancing mood now after i warmed her up at bar 2 so we found a place that looked like it had a dance floor. we were wrong. oh well. again my buddy goes to get drinks. this time SEG needs to use the restroom. i had been to this place before so i guided her in the right direction. i also waited for her, and she was very surprised to see me doing so. there he goes again, that jayarea, always surprising girls.

at this point, the sig was not so much transferred to my buddy, nor was it stolen, it just kinda… went over to him. theme of the night: things just happen. at pregame, my drink just “went” over to SEG. at the bars, drinks just “went” back and forth between all of us. now, the sig just “went” to my buddy. in hindsight, i think SEG shifted gears. call it what you want – got horny, needed some more immersion, whatever – but she knew it was time. reluctantly, i knew it was time too.

the place was crowded so after we got drinks, we just stayed by the bar and drank. she started by making fun of my buddy. his thing is that he needs to get worked up into flirting (remember, he’s shy at first). simple playground teasing. this turned into kino, which turned into “bump and holds”, and i even noticed some hand holding. now it was time for me to shift gears.

i suggested we move to the more private upstairs. it’s private only because it’s completely boring up there, but there was more room to comfortably hang out and talk. they did some dancing and i egged them on. the mood was set. meo-est was kicking. mx301 was kicking. SEG was all about kino at this point. light and friendly kino to me, heavy sexual kino to my buddy. i suggested we continue the party at home and it was a done deal.

then the night turned sour.

i’ll shotgun this part since it’s boring and i don’t want to relive it. we went to wait for the bus back to our neighborhood and it never came. we tried to get a cab but they were all busy. no sober rides either. finally we got a hold of one sober ride but he didn’t want to brave the traffic down by where we were so we had to walk 30 minutes or so to around where he was, and he took us back home. by the time we finished walking, we were pretty much all sober (this coming from a very good “happy drunk” feeling from bar 3).

smart players know when to call, when to bet, and when to fold. we had to fold. sure, we could’ve gone home and demolished tons of alcohol and returned to our drunk state, but the feeling was not there. SEG was tired from walking in her kitten heels, we were all bored from walking, and the energy died on the walk. i told the sober ride to take SEG home and she made no objection. my buddy looked down but he knew as well as i did that we had to fold. this girl is in our classes; we’ll have more chances. plus, this holiday weekend wasn’t the greatest anyway.

but some good did come out of this. as we were walking, my buddy was constantly on the phone calling for rides, asking about cab times, checking bus schedules, etc. i took this time to talk to SEG, real down to earth business. she wanted to avoid another awkward situation later on so she asked me about my buddy and the real reason he didn’t talk to her. i told her that for the few weeks i’ve known him, he’s just not that outgoing regarding girls. she learned that if she wanted anything more than just friends, she’d have to pursue him, not the other way around. it’s unfortunate, but at least now she won’t get hurt.

wait jayarea, didn’t you say a few posts ago that she has a bf?

after last night’s experience, i’ve decided to not even mess with that fact. in class she’s prim and proper and “has a bf.” give her two drinks and a dance floor, maybe some p96 or mx292 and she automagically doesn’t have a bf anymore. her decisions. we just play the cards we’re dealt.

hope everyone had a great holiday weekend. back to the grind tomorrow, back to the testing tomorrow too.