no bitching here, but it does concern the topic of being left behind. i had an interesting experience yesterday that leads me to conclude this issue.
we all had a rough week in class and luckily there was a little break thursday night to rest. we have work due sunday night and monday so there won’t be much rest/playtime over the weekend. well, i decide to go celebrate, and of course my buddy is down to go too.
on tuesday of this week i brought it up to the other people and they were excited. it gave them motivation to get through wed and thurs. as the week went on, they lost interest and dropped out one by one. SEG was in up until the last moments when she found out that everyone had dropped, and then she dropped too. i had a great time out with my buddy, but it would’ve been better to get more people out.
of course, you’ll always have your bullshit excuses. one guy said he wanted to be awake for our friday morning class because the lecture material was going to be hard. we (as a group) normally don’t go to the friday morning lecture because we can read the slides online, and this guy in particular doesn’t have a good attendance record in any of his classes. on our way home last night, i told my buddy that no matter how hungover or tired i was the next morning (this morning), i was going to get up and see if that kid went to class. and i did. dragged my butt out of bed and sat through a lecture of truly hard material, and no sign of that kid at all. i called his bluff and won.
as soon as i heard that SEG dropped i told my buddy about the other people leaving me behind as they went to go party (remember, he was out of town when this happened). he agreed that it was a pretty nasty thing to do. i joked around saying they were probably all gathered at one person’s house already partying without us, and as the night went on we shot the breeze with other reasons like they’re scared to party with us or they know that SEG likes us more, so they’re trying to make it easier on them.
my conclusion to all this is that you have to be mindful of groupthink or slippery slope. this is basically where one person does something, then a second person does the same thing because the first person did it, and so on. in my case, it was dropping out of the party i planned for thursday night. it doesn’t matter who, but one person always is the leader.
this can be tied in to the other people leaving me behind. perhaps truly, some way some how, honest to goodness, SEG really did try to send me a text and accidentally saved it. in the midst of partying she could say “well, i texted him and he’s not responding.” my other “buddy,” the one that i called, could say “well, i was going to call him back, but since he’s not responding to texts, maybe i’ll just keep partying.” knowing this, the other guys that i don’t know too well might say “well, i should remind SEG or this guy to find jayarea and get him out here, but since they don’t seem to be into it, i’ll just keep partying.”
it’s not entirely controllable, but you want to watch out for it.
the second part of my conclusion is to not sell yourself short, or be a doormat. earlier in the semester the other guys falsely associated me with my “hardass” buddy (who is really just shy and introverted) because i hang out with him a lot. i didn’t sell myself short, but their assumptions sold my image short. i corrected this by inviting a few of them over and showing them a great time. they couldn’t stop talking about it for days. with that said, it’s not good to be a doormat either. i’ve never partied at anyone else’s house, and i don’t even think they host. all the parties have been at my place with my resources. this is what i did at my other school and i don’t mind because people actually show up, and in some form or another they contribute towards the resources (alcohol, supplies, etc). i’ve hosted gratuitously so far with barely a thanks, and left behind/denied twice, so now it’s getting to the point where people are walking on me, and i can’t have that.
fool me once…
