Sorry to hear about that. That really does suck. Been there, done that- got the t-shirt. Onward to better women.
relatively OT: i can finally eat spicy things now without sweating terribly. that was my problem my whole life. i love spicy food but i don’t get the same reactions others get: numb lips, runny nose, watery eyes. i just sweat buckets. i don’t know the biological reason for it but it seems that other people process the heat at the mouth, whereas my body seems to let it go all the way down into my stomach and processes it internally, thus leading to sweating.
i got advice from here and other sources to start gradual with spices. for me this meant a drop of hot sauce (literally) with food. after that i moved on to actually using hot sauce in my food. when that was tolerable without sweat, i reverted back to a drop but of sriracha, the asian hot sauce. to me, that stuff is a different and hotter burn than hot sauce or salsa. i still haven’t gotten to the point where i can actually use it on my food, but it’s a stepping point.
a few of my friends put jalapenos on their food. i tried that just now and found i could handle it. i dared myself to eat one alone; it wasn’t too bad. i tried a second one - that was pushing my luck as i’m a bit flushed and damp right now, but now i know my limit is way higher than it was before.
slowly moving on to enjoying hot wings in public. 
I couldn’t live without hot sauce. Good on anything 
hello again. life is going well, pretty busy with work and school. the good thing is that phero usage has been almost daily, though nothing spectacular to report. i’ve been using simple mixes, lots of ishine, cttm, taa, etc.
a few notables…
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heard from a friend that my roommate said to him that “jay wears cologne to the gym.” i laughed heartily at this. looks like my attempts to wear sm to the gym did not go unnoticed.
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on a more serious note, it was a bit surprising to me to hear this from my friend. my roommate and i are on great terms; i never thought he would go behind my back and “gossip” like that. though, in a way, it’s not meant to harm me; it’s just human nature grapevine talk. this same friend also told me he (my roommate) almost predicted my breakup with sarah because he could tell by the tone of my murmured conversations. i’m less surprised by this - we both talk to our girls/family/etc with the door to our rooms slightly ajar and it’s easy to listen (without eavesdropping) to the tone of the conversation. i know similarly how things are going with the girl in his life too.
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speaking of wearing sm to the gym, i do it about once a week, trying out different times and days for different results. most prominent hit was an asian cougar with 1s, maybe high 40’s, who kept following me around and blatantly staring. this goes to show that even asians, who don’t really respond to much androstenone, still have a slight trend towards more androstenone with age.
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had a meeting with a new employee; my manager wanted to introduce us in case we start working together due to some new developments in the works. she is high 20’s, some sort of european/foreign, very sexy. all business at first as we shook hands and sat down in a conference room. a few minutes later it was very social, ioi (but controlled), good mix of business and personal topics (what do you like to do after work? etc). i wore 2s of mx291. i had forgotten all about it and what it does. i still haven’t looked back at my reports yet to see my historical data, but whatever it does, 2s is a nice dosage for me.
bah, so much to write, not enough white blood cells to do it. i’m currently recovering from back to back illnesses. right after my previous post i came down with a cold, and halloween partying admittedly didn’t help that. as i began to get over that, my roommate brought home some other type of cold from an interview trip. i suspect it’s all a big combination of constant germ exposure and bad timing. nonetheless, i’m at about 85% now, doc says i’m good, just some lingering sneezes and runny nose.
phero related:
through it all, i’ve still been using pheros. i just couldn’t smell them for a while. 
knowing that i couldn’t get too close to others to test, they were mainly for self effects. spray akuto and game really bothered my head stuffiness so i stayed away from those. neroli was ok and most days it was just a shot of ishine to perk me up as i went out the door. i went to three halloween parties and picked the biggest one to use some pheros. i started the night with 2s mx292 and 1s mx203 with 1d a314 r24 p90e, pretty good results of scent compliments followed by close talking. near the end of the night i threw on 1s ammo for kicks - no immediate results but more girls ended up dancing with or close to me and my group.
personal related:
these events happened a few hours ago this morning. at the time i wasn’t really thinking; now i look back and wonder if i did the right thing. see what you think and let me know.
as i might’ve mentioned before, sarah was in an “all or nothing” state of mind after the breakup. either we were to try again as a couple, or she wanted (absolutely) nothing to do with me, not even friendship. i chose the “nothing” route so she blocked me on almost all forms of contact, the biggest one being facebook.
i logged on this morning and one of our common friends had uploaded some late halloween pictures. i knew i would maybe see pictures of her, i knew i shouldn’t click into the album, yet i clicked anyway. because she blocked me, i can’t see tagged pictures of her (tagged = where she is identified) but i can still see pictures with her in them, like in the background or if they are untagged. lo and behold to no surprise, since they were drunk halloween pictures, nearly none of them were tagged so i saw most of them and almost all of the ones she was in. it was a pretty big shock to me - the last time i had seen a picture of her was a week or two after the breakup when she took a girls-only trip and we were still friends on facebook. things have changed with her in the last 3 months, i’ll just say that much.
i went a little stir crazy after this. i’ll admit, this has happened with probably every gf/ex i’ve had. break up, no contact for a while, then somewhere somehow a picture shows up and i think “wow, that’s new” (either in a good or bad way). then, and i hate hate hate when i do this, i make the mistake of thinking “what if i was there now? / what if we didn’t break up?”
yargh… anyway, i get off facebook and log onto skype, a webcam chatting application. since i’ve been sick recently, i worked from home a few days and used that program to keep in touch with coworkers. it was also a big form of contact with sarah in our distance relationship. i noticed today that she seems to not have blocked me on skype. i’ll draw a general conclusion here and say that since i was her only contact in it, she probably didn’t use it much after we broke up and simply forgot to block me there. she was offline. something compelled me to send her an offline message. i thought about it for a long while, even typed up the final message (“haha, nice halloween costume”) and hovered my finger over the enter key. eventually i said to myself “here goes nothing” and just sent it.
she’ll receive this message next time she logs onto skype, which may be never or a long time from now. skype does timestamp messages so at least she’ll know the date context. from there, i don’t know.
did i mess up? has anyone else been in this situation? do i need to quit worrying?
it’s been said that no matter what you do, the final piece of moving on from a breakup is to find that new someone. i tried and it didn’t really work out - jfg settled down with her boy toy, her friend A has been MIA for a while, and girls at school and work are just passing - so while i think to myself that i’ve moved on, it’s clear here on paper (or forum text) that i’m still struggling.
chicken noodle soup time.
Hope you feel better jay,
You know, with long term relationships, its hard for it. Now I’m not sure and can’t remember reading if she was the first love. If she was very understandable, if she wasn’t, it still is. There is still that bond and connection that are there when you do love someone and share a lot.
We’ve all done it, and I don’t think there is a definite answer whether its yes or no. From a PUA standpoint, you did two things wrong. You acknowledge you looked at her pictures, and you miss her. But in reality, who cares, you did what you thought was the right thing to do at that time and there really isn’t a yes or no answer to that.
I came through on a similar situation, which was my first love, and my second.
This ironically is after I dropped the ball on a girl I was interested in, and all my friends getting into LTR’s and me ending up with squat.
My second love, I tried friending on facebook again after we had a falling out, pretty much all or nothing choice as well. Long story short I knew she wasn’t the right one for me anymore. It was after I saw her at a mutual friends birthday party and I just got turned off. I ended up trying to drunkenly add her on facebook, which she denied, and I can’t even message her to say anything. Was it the smartest thing to do? Heck no, definitely not. But hey it was just a moment where you want to know whether or not something could still be salvaged. It was because things fell apart for me that I went for the first thing I knew that was feasible to try and find those feelings again. It may be with what happened with JFG and A?
I’ve been having vivid dreams about my first love, and long story short, I think it was because of what was happening to me, which seems similar to your situation. But also a year or so ago, I was speaking to my therapist about missed opportunities and the nagging feeling of unfinished business. Out of a weird place, I see her after my session, in the lounge at my school. Now I’m doing undergrad and she’s doing grad, and she was at a different school but transferred over. The chances of me bumping into her in NYC at that school, is very little. I knew that I would look like I haven’t gotten over it, and I’m not as successful or over her, but for myself, I did it, and I felt a heck of a lot better about it. It helped, and I knew it was the best thing to do, for myself, and no one else.
Sorry for the novel but I do think if you did it for yourself, to find out, then it was the right decision.
i’ll keep this quick so it can finally be wrapped up and done with.
she wasn’t my first love, but was my deepest/strongest. i was hoping after the breakup and some time to heal, we could salvage a friendship, like a few years down the road if by some random crazy chance we’re in the same town and we pass by each other, we could manage a wave and smile. sappy, but that’s how i am sometimes. (we are going to see each other again at some weddings and a friend’s big birthday party, but i’ll deal with that when the time comes). she wants the exact opposite of this: absolutely nothing to do with me.
over the past week or so i’ve been looking for advice from close friends and talking to some people who know both of us and still see her around her school. all signs point to the same conclusion - drop it, move on. mutual friends on facebook say that she’ll often post statuses (mostly drunk, sometimes sober) just completely raging and ripping on me, yet without actually using my name. everyone knows who she is talking about. all of these people said it has reached the point of immaturity, to where they have to “mute” her so that their updates aren’t muddled.
that’s all i needed to know. i dumped her and while i’m a bit sorry it was messier of a breakup than it needed to be, i know it was the right thing to do. she tried to get me back, didn’t work. i tried to “get her back” via a friendship, didn’t work. now there’s nothing left on the table and it’s time to move on. she kept a few of my shirts and sweatshirts (“boyfriend clothes”) to wear when she got lonely, and mailed them back to me when we broke up. i wore them a few times but it always reminded me of her and they just didn’t feel like my clothes anymore - they were packed up and delivered to goodwill yesterday. the only thing left, save for some digital pictures on my backup hard drive that probably will never be seen again, are some hard copy pictures that we took together at gift shops of all the touristy places we visited together. those are damn hard to throw away - i haven’t looked at them since organizing her things post-breakup, but the memories are still attached and i don’t have the heart to just toss them. again, the sappiness. they will be gone before the new year though, even if i have to tell a friend to steal them and throw them away for me. it makes it slightly easier knowing she has none of our pictures.
and that’s that. last time i’ll speak of her. as steve mentioned in an earlier post re: getting over a breakup, “hey, i’m better than this.” i want to start 2011 on a clean slate.
i’ve been moving towards that goal recently. during my forum downtime, i took a guys-only trip and they reminded me how much fun life is and how we need to experience that before settling down, whether that’s with work, a girl, etc. due to my illness, i lost a lot of weight (albeit not entirely healthy) but this gave me a really clean slate at the gym and my gains post-workout are much more noticeable.
which brings me to why we’re all here: pheros! i have a free weekend this weekend and i plan to do a complete overhaul of my collection in preparation for testing after the thanksgiving break. for far too long i’ve put off sorting and organizing and as a result, when i’m in a rush i’ll skip looking for things and just grab a random bottle instead of picking something to suit the situation.
coming up on my two year anniversary of using pheros too. 
Yeah its hard.
I know how that is.
Good mindset to be in jay
Its great to hear you’ve moved on and no matter how tough it can be it’s best to always have the mindset that the future holds great opportunity.
- A new year begins and everyone starts fresh.
Almost two years ago, I was a lesser man. One might say I was the same man, only with lesser benefits. I dabbled with pheromones shortly before the winter holidays. My first big experiment came on New Year’s Eve and with that, I rolled into the next two years with a changed attitude and lifestyle that has led to the roller coaster 53 pages laid out before you here.
After a brief break to clear my mind, enjoy the holidays, and focus on the new year, I’ve returned with renewed spirit. I recently completed one degree and have plans to return for another. My social circle, while now a bit spread out after everyone found jobs, has never been comprised of a higher quality of friends. My diet is impeccably clean and my fitness is through the roof.
I. Feel. Great.
2011 - let’s go!
When I read this I was like 1 degree of what? I thought maybe MMA,then maybe cooking, but on my return I finally got it. I think I need to lay off the left handed smokes . J/K
Degrees in MMA and cooking would certainly make me pretty fun at parties.
It’s been a while since I’ve used my phero acronyms so bear with me as I possibly re-make up some.
1s SM (Snoopy’s mix) hair
1s MX200 hair
The bad thing about new year’s resolutions is that those who choose fitness as a goal (instead of making it a lifestyle change) flood the gyms during the first two months of the year. The good thing is that this introduces a whole new population to the mix cloud. My normal workout time is in the evenings so there are a lot of students, young professionals, basically anyone who has free time in the evenings, all new faces and some old ones. Sometimes I’ll go in the morning or around lunch and it’s mostly the mom crowd, the housewives, people who have other duties in the evenings. Very good test batch.
For this particular test, I went in the evening. I spent one week prior going at the same time and seeing who showed up. There’s the usual crowd of younger folk and also plenty of Asian housewives and older women. (As an observation, it seems mostly Caucasian housewives go in the mornings and Asian/other housewives go in the evenings) I wanted something that could appeal to both younger and older women (SM) and something to lean it towards Asians (MX200).
The biggest hit was from a 20something Hispanic girl dressed in showy-but-not-slutty workout clothes. She was taking her time on one bench in front of the weight rack. I was walking back and forth constantly getting and returning weights. It was the most blatant hit because of the constant exposure. After the cloud hit her, she would smile at me in the mirror or directly each time I came by. Later on when I moved away to a nearby area, I noticed she would somehow always be facing her chest or butt to me, and she definitely caught me looking. Always a knowing smile and then back to her set. I returned the test by switching up my routine and doing the “show off” lifts in her view: deadlifts, squats, and leg presses. These lifts require much concentration so I never directly looked at her; rather, I positioned myself to use the mirrors to my advantage where I could see her and if she looked at me, it’d be like I was looking somewhere else. Full on stares from her while she toweled off and even in the middle of her sets. Our last dance was when she was on cable weights. She set her weight just a little too heavy and the cable kinda pulled her back and up into the air as she tried to pull it. She looked around to make sure nobody saw her, and of course I was looking, and we both shared a laugh. One final head tilt and smile as she left before I did.
My other hits are similar but just toned down. Gym testing is mainly for IOI and good vibes. It’s hard to talk to people when headphones are in and concentration is of the essence.
On that note, one of my goals for this year is to talk to more people. I’ll be starting small and working toward making everyone I talk to smile, even if it’s just one person a day. It was one epiphany during my start of pheros that a whole world is out there and you’ll miss it by being shy. To build on that, if you focus on only working up the courage to talk to very attractive girls that you wish to bed, you’ll only talk to a small number of people and that’s if you’re 100% successful. I find that everyone has something to share and if you talk to more people, you might learn something new every day. One recent change that I’ve made (that kind of sort of doesn’t count) is talking more with the girl who cuts my hair. I’ve never been a talkative hair cut guy, something with not making good small talk. My current girl has crazy hobbies, likes to travel, and basically has a lot to talk about. I started by only asking questions and letting her do most of the talking. Then I started chiming in and having more of a discussion with her. Now my haircuts go by much less awkwardly and I feel like it’s more of an experience than an event.
Some people do work out without headphones in so maybe one day I’ll try a “Hi” and see where that goes.
I gotta say I enjoy your blog. I’ll be tuning in to see what works for you especially with asians. For whatever reason I’m asian, and while I’ve had my share of asian girlfriends I tend to get noticed at least twice as much by white girls. Either that or asians are more subtle with IOIs? I dunno either way I’ve always found it kinda weird.
I really think I need to start wearing mones to the gym. I’m thinking A314 oil with maybe ICM oil. Great report
A test just for you
1s Ishine 2x neck
I keep to-gos of ishine and ammo, sometimes my old A314, in my car during moderate weather. This allows me to be prepared for ~90% of the situations I find myself in when I don’t have pheros already applied.
There’s a bubble/pearl tea place nearby and I don’t go often but when I have a craving, that’s my first stop. 100% Asian workers, mostly girls, and of those, mostly cute and around my age. I was in a hurry and almost walked in right away and then I thought back to some of my phero and test goals: opening up, Asians, making people smile. I 180’d and sprayed some ishine on and took the long way back to let the scent dry down.
Note: I used to think my ishine was 1x but I found out it was 2x. I think I would’ve gotten similar results with 1x though in this particular situation, 2x or even 4x works to the advantage without being overkill.
I cut pearls and all the flavorings out of my diet so when I order tea, I literally just get tea and maybe some grass jelly if I’m feeling good, and always a slice of lemon. I was feeling extra good because of the ishine so I decided to get a small tea with grass jelly.
I walked in and one girl was organizing things at the counter. It’s a small shop and there’s usually only one person, maybe two on the weekends. She sees me and smiles, and I smile back. I gave her my order as such: “I’d like to have one small tea please, with a boat load of grass jelly and lemon.” She repeated the first half back as she typed it into the register and then looked up kinda puzzled and asked “A boat load of jelly and lemon?” I beamed her a big smile and said “Yep!” She laughed and went about making my drink.
She finishes and says “Order up!” The first thing I notice is that it’s a large size cup. I thought that was a bit peculiar and then I saw that it only contained a small size portion of tea - the rest was grass jelly (at least 3-4 extra scoops, which is a lot) and filled to the top with I have no idea how many lemon slices. She waited for me to make these realizations and then said “One small tea with a boat load of grass jelly and lemon.” I think I fell in love. 
We both laughed and then I asked for her name. She replied and here’s where I stumbled a bit. I wanted to say something like “Great, next time I’ll ask for you” but my mind stopped my mouth when I figured that’d be a rather pointless thing to say; if she isn’t the one person working, asking for her wouldn’t do much good. I started to say “I…” and she tilted her head as if she was expecting a magical pick up line or compliment or something. I managed to get out “I’ll keep that in mind” and gave her a smile. She smiled back and said thanks, and I left.
Pretty good ishine rush, I think she felt it through me especially in such tight quarters. I think I felt too good near the end and tripped over myself. Other than that, I accomplished what I wanted to: talk to someone, make a person smile, and test on an Asian.
It’s almost stated fact here that socials and status (-rone) work well on Asians. Zest, going back to your comment on how you get noticed more by Caucasians, I think it’s because sexual sigs are more prominent to them and thus they will react to social, status, and sexual while Asians may only react to two out of those three. I saw the same results in my testing. Sexual pheros are a tough play with Asians. I find it’s most successful to build a good base with social and status and either work in one sexual putative / molecule or naturally in an organic fashion.
Great report. Sounds like a fun encounter. I stammer like that too sometimes when I can’t believe what’s happening. haha. I get what you’re saying about status and socials working best on asians. Makes sense since scent of eros is said to work well and it’s mostly rone and nols, and mx200 was supposedly good and it has only trace none if i recall. I think part of it has to do with a keen sense of smell too. I swear my ex was like a friggin bloodhound. I’m pretty sure a ton of sprays of anything would’ve turned her off.
I wore the A314 and ICM oil to the gym but it was devoid of anything worth my time. I did think I got a better workout, but this requires more testing.
Hmm, thought I replied to your first post but I guess it didn’t go through.
Testing at the gym is definitely situation dependent. At one of my old gyms there were plenty of women to test with but also lots of meathead guys. Introducing -none, any sort of status booster, and most importantly, fragrance, into the wrong setting is cause for trouble. Luckily I never ran into issues due to my size and stature, but I could imagine someone with a stockier build being misperceived as trying to show off - similar to reports of IJ and instigating fights. Getting a good workout is consistent with my results. I love the euphoric feelings of a good mix and will occasionally use a mix to boost my mood as per the report above but for the most part, it seems a bit of a waste and I focus mainly on testing with it.
I was rummaging through my collection today when I noticed an unmarked 30 ml of Ammo (“unmarked” meaning I didn’t make my own markings on it). Turned out to be World Ammo in one of the FF scents, I want to say FF22? Threw on a spray before going to a cooking class. I signed up for it partially to boost my cooking skills and partially to work on my goals of meeting and talking to new people.
I’m a slightly better cook now but the class was all guys except for one woman there with her husband. I still met and talked to new people but my pheros were a bust.
I got back from class around 9p, ate some fruit, browsed PT, and now it’s midnight. 
Yeah I got you on that. My gym is usually filled with babes in the morning and couple of local cops. Pretty laid back and everyone, like everywhere I go , likes me and says hi. I wore it again once but it seems that when I wear them there are no chicks. LOL, this morning though I forgot. Guess what, lots of chicks.
You ever get those non-phero hits from far away, ones that make you feel good for the rest of the day?
It’s been cool and balmy here so I haven’t worn much in terms of external exposure. I’ve been using mostly the instant line for self effects and P126 to get a feel for my sweet spot. I have a lot of things that need to be reordered.
Anyway, today was just IShine and CTTM2, 1s of each. The biggest change was my hair. I haven’t had time to get a hair cut lately so while my hair isn’t particularly long, it’s disheveled. The best way I can put it is “surfer boy” but shorter.
In talking with some girls, I’ve found that this can be a sexy look on guys. It’s natural and doesn’t look overdone. You can mess with it like you’re a playful kind of guy, or not even touch it and look like you’re the badass wild guy type.
I decided to go with this look today. Messy but not sloppy hair, like I just rolled out of bed. Hoodie, jeans, comfy shoes. I had to go to a specialty grocery store for some recipe ingredients and this particular store was in a strip mall. I parked a few stores down so I could window shop on my way there and back.
As I walked down the row of stores, a girl and her friends were walking my way. I was near the street, she was close to the inside. They were laughing and I didn’t really pay attention to them but somehow I locked eyes with her and she never let up. All the way from where she started walking to entering the store her group went into, she just looked at me. At the door, she gave me a slight smile and only broke the stare right as she walked in. I thought about following to say hi but it was some boring store and she was with friends; I’d have no excuses or reasons to be there.
But, that made me feel pretty good. I was already feeling good with the pheros, then to have a girl stare like that made me feel even better. And it gets better. On my way out of the grocery store, another girl and her friends were walking in. This girl didn’t lock eyes the first time; instead, she glanced once, looked ahead, and then looked back and kept looking at me until she stumbled into her friend. They all laughed at her and I heard jokes of “You forget how to walk or something?” I chuckled and kept walking. Now in a movie or music video, the girl would’ve looked back with a smile and I would’ve turned to wave or something but I think she was legitimately embarrassed and didn’t want to turn around. Oh well. Another smile on my face for the day.
There’s a term here for non-phero hits, right? NPH? (I could be dreaming that up but I remember seeing something like it) Sometimes it’s hits like those that count more than the phero hits. I follow some health blogs and some of the writers talk about NSV, “non scale victories.” What this means is that no matter what the scale says, if you wear that dress or suit and get compliments, consider that a victory. I think the same applies for pheros. Maybe you put on a great mix and for some reason it busts with all your targets, but if you can talk to someone or make someone smile or accomplish any one of your goals, it’s still a victory.