I am a tad bit shy and have a bit of trouble maintaining eye contact. Has anyone overcome this and if so what did you do to improve your eye contact technique?
LOL, Im the same as you. But I have a great secret to maintain eye contact. Buy a big close up poster or get a close up desktop wallpaper of a hot guy and practice staring at his eyes for 5 or 10 minutes while imagining he is a real person. This works great for me. 
Ya know, come to think of it that’s not a bad idea, jankren. 
When you come face to face with someone, though it’s difficult, force yourself to maintain eye contact for a reasonable length of time. Start slow and do it for a for a few seconds at a time. You don’t have to stay glued to their eyes. The thing is, you have to do it in order to overcome it. I know it’s uncomfortable for you, but the more you do it the better you’ll get at it. Remember, no matter what, they’re just people.
Bella
If it helps you to know, most people don’t really lock eyes, that would turn into a staredown. 
Instead, you want to move your stare in a triangle of the other person’s face. The triangle is, look at one eye, then move to the mouth, then to the other eye, and continue that rotation. It’s a simple trick, but works very well for many people.
If you really want or need to hold eye contact, pick an eye (let’s say the other person’s right eye) and hold that one with your right.
Thanks, I need all the help I can get, I have no problem with it if I am not lala over the guy. Its when I really like him that I stare off in the distance or the floor and One guy I really liked said I didn’t think you liked me cause you never look at me the others said pretty much the same thing. I’ll try the poster trick and the look at one eye trick.
After enough practice a person should be able to learn not to look INTO the other person’s eyes, but instead merely looking AT that person’s eyes unless he/she has interest in that person.
Being able to maintain eye contact will raise your confidence. And as I said above you need to be able to learn both looking AT and INTO another person’s eyes. One is for when you talk with random people and the other one when you talk with someone you like because when you look into the eyes of someone you like and he also maintains the same eye contact you know he also likes you and it will be HOT! LOL
Is there an underlying issue here? Are you self conscious of your eyes or do you feel insecure about yourself?
Usually lack of eye contact is subordinate behavior.
Hopefully by telling you that eye contact from a girl is sexy, and eyes are naturally and universally hypnotic/mezmerizing, you’ll gain a little confidence in practicing holding eye contact.
Start off with the triangle mentioned by Robbie, except take a break from the eye contact when YOU are talking. It’s okay to look away while you are talking, but it’s good to maintain eye contact while the other person speaks.
In addition to looking into each eye separately, you can also glance down at their mouth from time to time as they speak.
I know a few girls who have a hard time keeping eye contact and I’ve helped em through it, and I’ve noticed they are more confident and outgoing once they master keeping eye contact.
Looking away and looking down is a strange behavior and it gives mixed messages to the guys you are ‘lala’ over. I’ve had a few girls like me but were like you and didn’t look at me cause they were shy…that’s really unattractive, especially since eye contact is a dead giveaway of attraction.
Everybody has pretty much nailed it, practice make perfect. Even if you can’t maintain direct eye contact for more than a few seconds as long as you are looking at his face you’re good. You’ll look more disinterested if you look past him by looking to either side of his face or looking away.
Making eye contact difficulties can sometimes be addressed by working through the underlying issues of why it is uncomfortable for you.
One way to do this is to notice what you feel in your body when you try to make or maintain eye contact. For some people it feels dangerous or makes you feel vulnerable. The trick is to take the time in private to explore why that is. Once you identify how it makes you feel, and what those feelings mean, then you can address the issues.
It is important that you don’t judge yourself in any way while you do this, and honor everything that you experience as having a valid reason behind it. The reason may not be appropriate for your age or circumstances any more, but it is there to function for a purpose. Finding a more appropriate way to fulfill the same function is easier then.
Sometimes just seeing it in a fuller, more perceptive way is enough to break the log jam and begin to progress from where you are to where you want to be.
Diane
I’m just like you…I find eye contact quite uncomfortable :o
I can’t tell you about tips to improve eye contact but I can tell you my li’ll trick that I do…rather than looking people in the eye when talking to them, I look at the bridge of their nose… They can’t tell the difference and I feel more comfortable
I’ve definitely told that to an ex-girlfriend at one point… I tend to feel like if I’m with someone special, they deserve my full attention. I get frustrated when I’m devoting my undivided attention to someone and they choose to people watch or text or ____.
That said, I definitely used to have an issue with making eye contact. It was linked partly to my shyness, and as I got over eye-contact my shyness went away.
If you’re with someone you like, go ahead and give them eye contact. Full-on, staring, give it your all. Don’t forget to smile. They’re bound to notice, and at least ask why you’re smiling (because they may not feel comfortable accusing you of staring). Return the question with a compliment… “I really like your eyes!” “Your eyes are so green!” Or, if you’re feeling very gutsy, throw out a white-lie: “I like how you’re making eye-contact… lots of people don’t know how to do that these days.”
I run into people everyday who seem to find constant eye-contact to be hard to do. But letting them know that your “staring” is actually your way of admiring them, chances are they’ll be delighted to make eye contact right back and neither of you will feel awkward.
If you really want to push the envelope try looking in someone’s eyes while you are lip-locking. You have to soften your eyes to do it. Softening your eyes makes you feel more accepting and loving.
Diane
Softening your eyes?
I’ve been trying to smile with my eyes, but I have no idea if it’s working.
Maybe I’m an insensitive neanderthal. Maybe it’s a guy thing, but I’m trying.
Can anybody explain how I can smile with my eyes?
OoohYahhh
PS - Xiph is right as usual, look at the bridge of the nose. Lots easier.
Maybe…
Think of something that made you really happy. Take a moment to feel what that happiness feels like in the areas around your eyes. That is your eyes smiling.
Think of something that touched your heart in a way that made it open up. Take a moment to feel what that tenderness feels like around your eyes. That is your eyes softening.
Diane
The eyes are the windows into the soul. When we make eye contact we are giving who we really are. You have to either be able to trust that the recipient of this gift is going to honor it, or you have to be willing to give no matter what the other person’s response.
Eye contact is one of the trickiest, most uncomfortable things to learn to do. Looking into the eyes of a stranger is the scariest, most dangerous feeling anyone can put themselves through.
Maintaining eye contact, while remaining true to yourself, and not withdrawing, is the realest, most intense experience you can imagine.
When you hold eye contact with someone you don’t know very well, all your “stuff” comes up. The natural response is to feel threatened, because you think that other person can “see” all that stuff we normally hide during social interactions and will reject you or hurt you. They can’t, and they won’t, and they are going through the same process.
It can be a great self-exploration tool if you want to deal with your own issues, but don’t know how to identify them or where to start. Learning how to honor your stuff when it comes up, while maintaining eye contact throughout, can be liberating and electrifying.
Diane
Just go to Africa and stare at a gorilla’s eyes. Trust me you wont have a face shortly afterwards. LOL
Wow, what a violent introject. Is that what you experience when you look in someone’s eyes, the fear that they will rip your face off?
Here’s a really good and simple technique that works fast to lessen the intensity of what you experience when you look into someone’s eyes. When your stuff comes up, fear in this case, acknowledge it and promise yourself you will explore it later, and then continue to make eye contact. (This isn’t staring, so be sure to break contact briefly after a few seconds to give the other person time to recover also. Three seconds is about the social max at a go with about a split second break in between.)
The fear is your body’s response, it’s attempt to keep you safe. It is a good thing to keep yourself safe. The problem is that it is inappropriate in its intensity in this situation. The trigger is a hair trigger without much to set it off. But keeping yourself safe is appropriate.
By promising to explore it later, the intensity of your body’s response will naturally decrease. Your body knows it was successful in warning your mind, and it no longer needs to keep warning you. Try it. I promise it works.
Diane
I saw this thread and thought we were talking about lazy eyes, those are just creepy.
As for eyecontact I am guilty of drifting as I think, as I am not paying attention to my audiance.
same goes with Birds, cattle, dogs and cats, Most animals take a hard stare as a sign of impending attach, some if not most will retaliate. My amazon parrot likes to get right up in my eyes and growl.
working on the farm you learn to look at animals out of the corner of your eye when approaching, to keep from spooking them.