Once again, I didn’t hear much from her the day after. I texted her and told her that I had taken some pictures during my dissection class and she replied with an excited “Ah, send them!” I took a few showing the brain and spinal cord as well as the bag of nerves we now have, and she thought it was amazing. Didn’t hear much from her after that, but I was busy as well. Around 9 in the evening, I texted her asking what she was up to and if she wanted to grab a bite to eat. She said she wasn’t feeling that well but she would love to get food and maybe get out of her house for a little bit. I headed to pick her up.
The Mix:
2 x MX394
3 x P83 at 15mcg/spray = 45mcg
Application Points:
Same as the last two times except I added an extra spray of P83 directly to my chest, under my shirt.
The Results:
When I arrived, I sent a text saying “Knock.” She came down the stairs fairly quickly again and opened the door. Once again she was smiling. I asked her why she wasn’t feeling so well and she said it was just a general malaise and her stomach hurt a bit. We got in the car and realized we had no idea where we were going to get food, and everywhere except the fast food places were probably closed. Neither of us were actually that hungry, so we just went and grabbed fries at a fast food drive-thru. Then we talked about the general implications of fast food for the lower classes of society and how it supports a cycle of nonproductivity by being both cheap and unhealthy, and thus unsupportive of a productive, energetic individual. We drove around for a bit near campus and went down a couple roads neither of us had ever been down. The houses were huge and we talked about that for a while. She said that all the big houses looked the same where she was from. She liked the individuality here.
She also talked a bit about her anxiety, which is something she’s never brought up in that kind of detail. She didn’t want to go into detail about the specific thoughts she had that bothered her, but she claimed they were nothing particularly bad (as in, not depressed or suicidal), just obsessive, and she seemed a bit embarrassed. I also shared a bit about my past and we talked about how difficult it can be for parents to accept that their child has mental problems they need to work through, either with therapy or medication, even if the child asks for help.
After driving around for a while, we headed back to her place and smoked. She sat on the couch next to me, and I once again noticed fairly open body language. She was sitting with her legs spread, partially facing me, and was wearing short jean shorts. She put on some music, first showing me an album of her dad’s guitar teacher (who was awesome), then pausing briefly on a couple Beethoven symphonies before saying she wasn’t “feeling” Beethoven at the moment and switching to jazz. While we listened to Charlie Parker and Miles Davis, we started talking about my class again and she asked me to give her an example of how the nerves run. With a particular example in mind, I asked for her hand and showed her how the nerves run down the arm and along the sides of the fingers by running the tips of my fingers along the sides of hers. She didn’t pull away quickly but after a bit, she did seem to gently retract her hand.
Conversation continued, though there were lulls where we both stared off into space and listened to the music. Whenever I would glance over at her during these pauses, I would notice that she was touching her lips with her fingers. Suddenly, she would break out of her trance and turn to look at me and smile sleepily. At one point, she was sitting facing me on the couch. She had her legs pulled in towards her, though still somewhat open, and her right hand was resting fairly far up the back inside of her thigh and she was gently moving her fingers across her skin.
At this point, I feel like I could have moved in a little closer, but being an idiot plagued by doubt, I wasn’t certain whether I should. I was also uncertain of how to close the distance between us. The couch was big enough for three people, and I was sitting somewhere near the middle, but still closer to the opposite side. She was leaning against the arm on the other side. Nice, mellow, sexy jazz that she had put on was playing in the background. And I just sat there.
After a bit, her body language closed up. She pulled her legs in toward her, closed, and turned so she was facing out into the room. Not long after that, she said she did need to get to sleep soon as she had to wake up early for work. I got up and she let me out. I hugged her but once again, her body language was more closed. She did seem startled for an instant, however. After I left, I texted her and asked whether what I texted a couple nights before had been weird. She said that she was surprised. I told her I had considered apologizing but then realized it was silly for anyone to even need to consider apologizing when they compliment someone, especially if they mean it. She said that was true, and it was all good.
Discussion:
So, I felt like I was getting definite indicators of interest, but was too awkward and lacking in confidence to try anything. How do you close the damn distance on a couch without being obvious? Or would being obvious not be so bad? Would you consider what I noticed actual signs of interest? (Touching her lips and thigh, open body language, eye contact, smiling) Perhaps later closed body language was due to feeling rejected or disappointed. I feel like my window of opportunity, if there actually is one, is rapidly closing, and if I still have a shot, I need to take it soon, with the deadly accuracy of a trained sniper. (Pardon my slightly extended metaphor.) So, where do I go from here? This mix seems to have had a definite effect, as she has never acted quite like this around me before.