You mention in one of your posts, that the use of none products led you to doing some crazy things with some of your students. Weren’t you scared of getting in trouble. Sex in the office chair and phone sex sounds wild. Any have a good one and enjoy the warm weather as always.
Not legal trouble as we were consenting adults. Dating and marriage among students & faculty is common. Most of my colleagues are married to former students (some 2 or 3 times!). However, I’d prefer to keep things professional and avoid a horndog rep and have pretty much learned my lesson, i.e., no dating until the semester is over and she’s officially a former student. That’s why I reduced -none at work. -None seems to drive those close to the edge right over. But I must say these girls were both persistent and aggressive. One stalked me for months and really made a mess of things and was extremely angry and vengeful when I asked her to knock it off. Times have really changed since I was in college. And, from what other faculty have said, these sorts of students are increasingly common.
I have dated former students when I was in grad school and it was ok i guess. I was in my early to mid-twenties then. I still teach college but now as a full time faculty member. I have very little to no interest in them because most of them are 18-19 and im 29. i think would feel differently about dating former students if they were more my age. Most 18 year olds are so immature and annoying for a lack of better words. What are the age of the students you are dating? I would be seriously freaked out by a stalker. That’s when it becomes scary. Later.
Most are early to mid-20s. Yes, the 18 year olds don’t even register on my radar and, also, have never come on to me. You really have to watch out for military wives, divorcees and stripers as their worldly experience is evident in their advanced social skills and boldness…
i dated a woman who was a an ex-stripper. total nutjob. have dated some women who were divorced as well. again some real nutjobs.
Funny. At 18, I felt that way about most men under 30. Still do.
Anyway, Gegogi, I recognize that there would be no legal trouble, but if they were your students, couldn’t your job be in jeopardy due to conflict of interest?
It’s almost impossible to get fired as I’m protected by a union contract and tenure. I can only be canned if I was found guilty in a court of law of criminal assault, theft, etc. However, I could be censored for sexual harassment if someone actually complained and it could be proven I demonstrated a pattern of unwelcome advances. I’d get a letter and would be asked to attend sensitivity workshops. One of my females colleagues had this happen to her (inappropriate touching of students). However, I actually didn’t initialize any of these relationships. Yes, I did tease and encourage them once I was tempered. I was weak and responded against my better judgement. Normally these types of things lead to nothing but I had been wearing The Edge or NPA and didn’t realize how inflamed these women were. They were the aggressors and initiators as such is usually the case with student-faculty affairs. Since then I’ve been more careful and try to nip it in the bud before things get out of hand. At least I learned how effective The Edge and NPA are…
Yeah its nearly impossible to get fired at my job. One guy got fired but only they had a novel of evidence against him for sexual harassment. Truthfully I see no wrong with teachers dating former students. Co-workers date all the time and the idea that we can prevent human attraction and interaction is beyond idiotic.
I see no wrong either, and I see no wrong with teachers dating current students so long as they are not their students. For example, should a student start dating a teacher, he/she should not take that teacher’s class ever again. If it’s required for the major, they should hold off on the relationship until after the grades are in.
Things are not always that simple. My ex-wife took several of my courses and no way could I kick her out as she needed it to graduate and I’m the only one that teaches it!
My single “mistake” volunteered to drop my class so we could “officially” date. It’s a purely recreational elective course and not required for anybody’s major. So we carried on, had a great time and she asked if she could hang out in the course and continue learning to play. I figured no harm done and said sure. A few weeks later she convinced student services she accidentally dropped my course and they let her back in, unbeknownst to me. So after our relationship went south she informed me she was still in the course! She used her little bit of power to threaten and harass me for months. With all that said, she actually learned the course material well and got the same grade as everyone else that finished the course, an A. All the other women waited until the semester was over to make their move.
hoora for classified employees 