Well, I didn’t hear from him last night. Maybe he got a better offer… =(
Sorry to hear that. 
. Hopefully, he’ll have a good excuse…
Sorry to hear that SomeChick, sounds like you were pretty excited for a fun night. Hopefully there is a good reason. ..if not, might be time to re evaluate…
A communication “tip” in the battle of the sexes. Men tend to be very direct. If you ask why he couldn’t make it, he’ll probably say. However, as most women know by instinct/experience, when men are evasive, it can mean trouble. A man who suddenly becomes secretive is sometimes up to something, if it is not their character. A non-answer is an answer still. The more quickly, directly and plainly someone answers a question, the more sincere they are. Good witnesses, when asked a question, promptly answer yes, no, I don’t recall, or explain their narrative of events. Telling the truth is effortless, if one’s memory is intact.
Remember this in dealing with people. The more effort they expend trying to answer a question instead of simply giving the answer, the further they are from their true feelings or recollections.
Example polygraph question: “Did you take the money from the desk at 2PM on Friday?” If innocent the answer is no. “I wasn’t at work that day” isn’t the answer. Elaborate or labored answers are less accurate. One does not have to explain or qualify yes or no. “Are you a space alien?” No. “Can you fly like a bird?” No. “Did you steal $100K from the bank?” No, it was only 10K–wrong answer. “Do you love me/like me/hate me.” From men, anything beyond “yes” probably means “not really.” Wanna know how a man feels? Ask.
Even when the above forthright approach doesn’t work, it’s absolutely the place to start
Think of it another way: You want to be a forthright person who means what they say. That applies to questions as well as statements. It can be frustrating/confusing for a guy to deal with someone who is sniffing for hints and won’t voice their concerns, especially if he doesn’t notice the sniffing or if she wrongly infers ‘clues’ unbeknownst to him.
To be fair, I did say I was free this weekend, I didn’t specify a night and I do not know his work schedule. I was just hoping it would be last night.
MMDI, thank you for all the advice on telling the truth. I know a lot about how liars operate. I was with one for a loooong time. He couldn’t tell the truth to save the lives of everyone he knows and loves. You are so right about simple answers. He would always come up with some elaborate story that couldn’t be checked out. It was amusing in a way, the time he would take to come up with this shit. Nothing has led me to think Rob would lie to me, so I will just ask him what I want to know, as soon as I have the chance.
In other news, today at work, a guy came in for lunch with a co-worker. There are usually three of them. The third comes in much more often and I have talked to him a lot more. He seems nice . He has a black dog, which I tried to talk him into giving to me, since I have a pack of black dogs. Well, the boss, whose name is apparently Mike, asks for a sandwich we don’t have. It’s only available as a special. He says it’s his friends favorite, and then says, “you know, the one with the giant crush on you”… to which I reply something along the lines of , 'yeah right, no one has a crush on ME!" and so the conversation goes back and forth and the other guy chimes in. Turns out the crush boy’s name is Scott and he is a carpenter…LOL…like Hot Scott…So, Mike is telling me what a great guy Scott is, that he has been alone for like 3-4 years, that I would have to like animals because he rescues dogs, and that he would totally follow me around like a puppy…
They tried to get me to write my phone number on his lunch, but I wouldn’t. I am somewhat wary, because though he has always seemed very nice, and I have no reason to think he isn’t, but he buys a lot of beer from me on my night shifts . This doesn’t mean much to most people, but Mr Wonderful put me through a door last summer, when he was drunk. So drinking boys scare me, and I don’t know if that is unfair of me.It kind of feels like I am punishing someone for my asscrack ex’s mistakes.
And I really like Rob…
In the time it takes to think why, you can send a text and ask. It requires a fearless approach, because, as you know, the answer might not be favorable. Or it may be. If it isn’t, better to make your efforts elsewhere, the sooner the better. If it’s favorable, double down on flirting. Men respond to direct ego boosts. Females do not have to wear the pants in this world. They do have to increase their chances by making it their attraction unambiguous. Guys of any mental strength are resiliant to rejection. However, we don’t go boldly into that meat grinder. If I have a bad day, I am not enthusiastic toward vague flirting. No yellow lights. It just wears me down. Red light/green light. Telegraph it. If the light is green, say so. We will go.
Well Rob texted while I was out mowing my field. He said he couldn’t wait to see me later. I sent back a text saying he wouldn’t show, which was a little joke, because he said I was all talk before the thing in the barn. He texted back and said ‘you have to come here babe’…so I guess I am off to Rob’s later
And I do not think he meant anything romantic with the babe…I am not that naive.
He meant for you to read something into that “babe”. We men can be wusses like that.
It’s up to you how much weight you really want to assign to it, though
Please elaborate…I am dense as hell…especially at the moment because I just came from his bed…
I think my ovaries have been relocated somewhere up under my ribs…I am not going to be able to move tomorrow. And I am working all day, alone, on my feet…
He swears we will still be doing this in five years…and he loves my fat ass…God, why can’t this be more than sex!?
So, I admitted in a text that I was afraid of his size. He asked why, and I told him that it had been a while and I was not used to something that large. He said that I will have to get used to it then. Keeps swearing that it wasn’t a one time thing. I could never be that lucky! I said something else, can’t remember what now, and he said “well, you’ll just have to keep me then”
And of course, because he is telepathic or something, ex Mr Wonderful texted me while I was driving to Rob’s. I ignored him. That wasn’t hard, and right now, I think I would ignore most anyone. Holy crap is Rob hot naked!
I was shaking with nerves when I got there, but it wasn’t long before I wasn’t nervous anymore. He makes me very, very, comfortable. I could get very used to being with him. He told me he missed me, and asked me if I missed him. I couldn’t say yes, so I asked if I could plead the 5th. I did miss him. I really like being around him. I always have. We never seem to run out of things to talk about. And I foolishly admitted to him that I had a huge crush on him years ago..that was definitely dumb.
And even dumber, I wore P83, so now there are little heart bubbles around my head again! I want HIM to get the crushy feelings for me! Not the other way around! I am already crushing hard.
Should I stop seeing him?
Why?
I get that you’re afraid of a broken heart, but that’s a risk you have to take. If he’s a good catch (um-- I missed the part why this HAS to be only sex. Is he married?) then what are you waiting for? An engraved invitation? Trust me, even that wouldn’t be enough. You’d still be worrying about whether to accept/decline.
It doesn’t have to be only sex. He isn’t married, he has never been married. He has two children with an ex-girlfriend, but they have not been together in almost 10 years.
I think the reason it seems to be only sex is because the day he first asked me to come over for a beer, I had told him that I had slept with Hot Scott because I had wanted a friend with benefits. A little later he mentioned the beer and asked for my phone number. It was kind of the timing that led me to believe that it was only about sex. When I said it was just a sex thing last night, he said 'Yeah, whatever…" like he didn’t believe me. But I am not in it just for the sex, I like him. I have for a long time.
I have no reason to think he wants more than sex, but he did say a lot of things that make me think he does like me. He did tell me I would have to keep him. He also said that he doesn’t need someone with him all the time, because he can entertain himself. That is exactly how I feel. I DO want someone in my life, someone that is mine. I just don’t need someone to feel complete and he said the same thing last night. I want someone to complement my life.
I guess I am just confused, because it was supposed to be just a sex thing, but it doesn’t seem like that when we are together. Oh, and if I had an engraved invitation, I would be all over that boy! I would keep him in a heartbeat!!
I don’t see any cause for confusion. He’s being straightforward.
Don’t confuse yourself.
I always overthink things, it’s an Aquarius thing, I guess…I still don’t know why he called me babe all night
Hm, upon reflection, I think I may have figured out at least part of why this is so hard for me.
I have always fallen in love THEN fallen into bed. I have only ever been in long term relationships, with the exception of Scott. I was with my first bf for 5 years, the second for 4.5, with my ex-husband for 12 and with the ex Mr W for almost 6. I waited to sleep with all of them until we were in love, because that is the way I thought it was supposed to be.
I am doing something totally out of my element now, by sleeping with Rob when there are no emotions involved. Or, should I say, none of his are involved. I am completely smitten with him, and to be honest, I have been for years. I just never thought I had a chance. I thought someone like him would never like someone like me. Turns out that my hourglass figure is exactly what he does like…
When I am with him, when he puts his arms around me, it feels like being home. I have never had anyone feel like him. My ex-husband was close, he was one of my best friends, but I wasn’t attracted to him. Being young, I convinced myself that it didn’t matter because we got along so well. With Rob, I am attracted to him because he is freaking gorgeous, though he says maybe I am the only one who thinks that, but also because I like the way he makes me smile, and laugh, and that he is smart and funny, that he is a good father, and tries to be nice to everyone he meets unless they give him a reason not to be. I like that he sees what is inside of me as much as what is outside of me. He is soft spoken and not loud and obnoxious like ex Mr W. We never run out of things to talk about. It was the most comfortable first time I have ever had. He made me feel very good about myself, and I didn’t make him shut off all the lights. He was in no hurry for me to leave the other night, though I did kind of bolt on him, or I tried to. There was some minor embarrassment that made me want to flee..
But having always fallen in love first, I have myself convinced that no one would fall in love with me after sleeping with me. Makes no sense, I am sure, but it’s kind of the whole why buy the cow if the milk is free thing…
Something like IS/B or TAH mixes are best to project what you want. What are you wearing. I fear you may be actually projecting the casual sex vibe, so, that’s the response. P74/TAH I think is what you need. No cops really. What you are saying in words you need to project with the mones. That’s what they do. I would “guess” that IS/B + P96 or P74 would really do it. The posts for P96 MX’s are old, since it was out of stock so long. Check them to be sure, but IS/B + P74 is the ultimate relationship builder, assuming that you can fit the TAH vibe. Also the TAH based MX’s. Or, better yet, experiment with IS/A - B ratios (50/50) + 20-40 mcg of P74.
You need that TAH to draw alpha men toward you, whereas TAL tends to be pushy. That’s why some of the alpha females do well on MX135/300. It complements their alpha tendency.
I did not wear any IS/B, because I forgot I had a to-go of it. I did wear some EST, P83, P74 and TAC.
I am VERY much a TAH girl. He is definitely an alpha male. I am not sure I am projecting the casual vibe as much as I just assume that is what he wants.
I will most certainly try your suggestion of IS/B and P74 next time I see him!
THANK YOU!
I am having a wicked bad day/night. I had a long day at work today, then an appointment, followed by another commitment I made to work. My hair dryer broke, so it only blew cold air. I blew the crap out of it for 25 minutes and it was barely drier than when I started. This might sound minor but my crazy curly hair takes forever to dry and is out of control if I don’t beat it into submission.
Work was insane. Formerly Bitchy Co-Worker was having a bad day, which makes all of us have a bad day. Every customer that we have that hates me, came in.
Got out of work, driving to my appointment, a huge bird poop landed on the hood of my pretty black truck. I decided to drive through the car wash so it wouldn’t get baked on in the sun since it finally decided to be summer in NH, now that it is almost Labor Day. The car wash stripped the finish off my truck and it now looks like it has been sitting in the sun for the past 20 years instead of in the barn. The guy wouldn’t do anything about it.
My daughter and I decided to get pizza for dinner, so we ordered online and headed out to pick it out, as they don’t deliver as far as my house. Driving up Route 1 we saw a cat get hit by a car. It flew up in the air and bounced off the ground several times before landing in the grass. We stopped because I didn’t want it to die alone. It was thrashing pretty good, but stopped struggling when I started talking to it. I was in tears, so was Josie, and the cat died while I petted him softly. I couldn’t find his owner, due to the area he was hit in, so I brought him home and buried him in my pasture, under a tree.
I have had a Murphy’s Law day with every thing I have touched since then. I am in tears, and all I can think of is what did he mean by calling me babe…? and of course, I have no way of finding this out…unless someone wants to take pity on me and clue me in…
This is one of those days where I wish I wasn’t single, because I so just want to get in bed with my honey an do something to take my mind off of things.
So I just hit myself with 25 mcg of TAK, hoping it will calm me enough to stop blubbering and get some sleep.
Sorry for the awful day!! Wow that was the last thing you needed after all the emotional turmoil I can’t believe you saw the cat get killed-- such a brutal
Image to see. Sending you love and warm thoughts!