If I did something like that and then was afraid the person might use it against me. I would be polite and civil (but no more) so they had nothing further to add. I would not be so rude that it makes it more likely they are going to complain.
This is why I think she will shoot herself in the foot. If I do not react I think she will push it further and dig herself deeper into the ground, I ignored her early sniping - the stuff that made me think she was “off” and she then did something daft in front of a pack of witnesses.
U know…as i mentioned before I’ve been in a similar situtation, and sometimes ignoring is the best combat, just as when we were kids it seems shes doin it on purpose to tick u off. I’d say give her the biggest smile u have ever given to anyone! Sometimes sarcastic undertones help of course with poise…she’ll prob get ticked off but its also a way of letting her know the famous cliché “stick and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me”
And by everything u’ve said…she is just hating cuz u talk more to him than she does, which i agree she is being extremely immature if this is the case.
I have to agree use mx134 for respect and some shine for that uplifting feeling.
This really is her problem she is most likly insecure in her job and in herself. You took the adult route and told her how you felt the ball is in her court. I know it is hard when something is upsetting you but try to go on being your happy wonderful self and let her continue to bury herself and she will.
There is a way to get back at her that is very subtle and will drive her insane, no ipecac syrup involved Everytime she glares at you look her right in the face and smile real big. Do it when you catch her talking about you to. When you are talking to people you work with look at her and smile. Dont talk about her but believe me that smile will make her think you are. Sounds weird I know but I drove the office shrew insane this way. She finally couldnt take it anymore and complained to management and when they asked her what I was doing she said “she keeps smiling at me”. Which of course made them laugh there butts off. Then they talked to other employees who told them that it was her and not me who went around insulting and that I never spoke about her at all. Well to make a long story short she dosnt work in our office anymore and all I had to do was smile. Smiling can be very powerful
If this dosnt work or you just cant take it anymore wait till the department inspection is done and then go in for the kill and go to management. Just dont discuss her with other employees in case they decide to ask around.
Just reading this thread now - I have no advice to add, but May this is just like Celebrity Big Brother. You are Shilpa! And look how well it worked out for her, staying calm and not reacting to those horrible women
I hope you manage to sort things out some way or another. It’s horrible to have to work in a bad atmosphere.
I agree with u tisha, I had actually posted a similar comment yesterday about giving her a big smile…but it got lost somewhere in space with the moderator lol it will probably show up in like 2 days jaja
Everyone has offered fabulous advice on this situation! YOU stay professional at all times, treat her with respect and civility, don’t gossip about her at the office,and, yes, SMILE, smile, smile! It will drive her crazy! Love it!!
One other thing: document everything, but not on your office computer where anyone else has access. Who, when, where, what was said by whom, etc. So if you do eventually file a formal complaint you have written evidence, which carries a lot of weight. Besides which, memory is not very reliable in the long run.
Using this forum as an outlet is a great way to vent, especially as opposed to involving co-workers. You are obviously an emotionally secure person, and very savvy. (In spite of being an English b*st**d . Good grief!) We in the States have our share of racial, ethnic, cultural, and religious prejudices, but regardless of who or where, they all make me shake my head in wonderment that people can continue to be so ignorant, closed-minded, etc.
In some ways I feel sorry for her, she is obviously a person with problems and insecurities. Not that that justifies what she’s doing to you in the least! Just thinking about how awful it must be to have to be mean to someone else to feel better about herself… And just remember folks: being prejudiced toward the prejudiced is itself being prejudiced. Scarey!!
Well, I thought about what everyone said last night and I bit the bullet today. I made enquiries about the process of starting a complaint. Apparently it has to be raised informally within the dept first. Something came out that was interesting. The person I was speaking to said he believed it was not due to anything I had done but that this woman was making judgements on me based on malicious and false gossip doing the rounds and that was why she had insulted me.
Apparently, my friend - her boss - has made a few decisions some in the office don’t like and so allegations are being made that he and I (bear in mind he is married) are having a serious affair.
Given the type of behaviour I talked about in a previous post this makes sense. I am not having an affair with this guy but that seems to be why she is biching me out. Note, that she is not biching her boss, my friend, out.
Seems that even middle-aged men and women can’t just be friends without someone sticking the knife in..
Anyway, I have sent her a polite email again - saying we can either work this out between ourselves as adults or we can take a more formal, mediated approach. I’ve left it up to her to decide. I am trying to be as reasonable as possible - and of course keeping copies of everything.
Obviously, she has a far more serious crush on my pal than I considered. I’m giving her a week to respond.
Everytime she glares at you look her right in the face and smile real big. Do it when you catch her talking about you to. When you are talking to people you work with look at her and smile. Dont talk about her but believe me that smile will make her think you are. Sounds weird I know but I drove the office shrew insane this way. She finally couldnt take it anymore and complained to management and when they asked her what I was doing she said “she keeps smiling at me”. Which of course made them laugh there butts off. Then they talked to other employees who told them that it was her and not me who went around insulting and that I never spoke about her at all. Well to make a long story short she dosnt work in our office anymore and all I had to do was smile. Smiling can be very powerful 
lol it will probably show up in like 2 days jaja
. Good grief!) We in the States have our share of racial, ethnic, cultural, and religious prejudices, but regardless of who or where, they all make me shake my head in wonderment that people can continue to be so ignorant, closed-minded, etc.