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You need to be in a good mood from the morning of the day, and not fall into a bad mood at all during the course of the day.
Cradlerobber -
The calm man, having learned how to govern himself, knows how to adapt himself to others; and they, in turn, reverence his spiritual strength, and feel that they can learn of him and rely upon him. The more tranquil a man becomes, the greater is his success, his influence, his power for good. Even the ordinary trader will find his business prosperity increase as he develops a greater self-control and equanimity, for people will always prefer to deal with a man whose demeanor is strongly equable.
I asked a similar question and really never got an answer. But I feel it’s a valid question. For example Certain mones like like None seem to be associated with the male qualities we attribute to testosterone…physical health, sexual fitness, aggression etc. Rone increases as we get older which would explain the status vibe associated with it. Being as how in prehistoric tribal societies the older males would most likely hold a type of leadership position in the tribe…an elder if you would.
What got me the most curious were the nols. These pheromones effect communication on the verbal level as well as the mood of others. While Rone and None say “I am” Anol and Bnol effect peoples inclination to talk to us and on what level the conversations go.
Now while my question was never truly answered, I do think that our natural mone production can be somewhat consciously effected (not controlled however). Pheromones are hormones and hormone derivatives, and hormones can and often are effected by moods. Sexual arousal will stimulate testosterone production, much like through exposure to copulins, intense fear or anger will cause a spike in adrenalin etc.
Now I have some theories on how the right types of attitude and lifetstyle changes may help effect ones own natural pheromone production, but also aid in congruence with certain types of pheromone products.
First and most obvious is None, your own None production is akin to your testosterone production. Certain herbal supplements designed to stimulate LH and FSH can cause an increase in natural test production, but are best capitalized on with a serious physical fitness program…particularly a strength based program (too much cardio raises estrogen levels)
This would most likely raise your Rone levels as well, but that will be more dependant on your age as older males would most likely produce more than their younger counterparts. Gegogi informed me that Rone is produced in the liver and excreted via urine. That in mind I would highly recommend incorporating supplements designed to help detoxify the liver, kidney and bladder…curcumin milk thistle, silymarin, and cranberry extract.
Now the next ones are the nols, and my theories here are PURE speculation, but I suspect may be valid based on the effects of the pheromones…as well as cause and effect relationships regarding moods and hormone levels.
Nols somehow communicate to people that we are social and thus subtly influence them to be social with us. Now obviously to a female a social male would be attractive from an evolutionary biology perspective since allies and support groups were much more essential for survival in our ancient past. A loner would not likely produce many nols, the anti social attitude is evolutionarily defective when it comes to survival. And being alone and lonely tends to lead to forms of depression. Going through a period of conscious alliance formation (go make some fucking friends for cryin out loud), MIGHT effect the brain and activate the appropriate neurotransmitters and socially bonding hormones like oxytocin to the degree that our own production of nols would be influenced. Remember these are products that communicate traits about ourselves that women (and frankly people in general) might find attractive. By becoming the type of person that is not only unafraid but is eager to meet and engage in friendly communication with new people ones own natural production of Anol might be effected. Likewise by being more open emotionally to the closest people in your support group, family and close friends etc one production of Bnol might be effected.
Which brings me to Adrenalin. Have you ever been or known a nervous, jumpy person that’s always afraid of almost everything? Notice how the nervous energy can become contagious and just being around the nervous person makes everyone else nervous too? The reason I think this is is that setting off a fight or flight alarm helps the tribe to become ready for the source of danger that’s causing it. It helps the tribe to survive…but if somebody is easily and often under the influence of adrenalin even under conditions that really don’t warrant it, it communicates a fear filled and cowardly quality that is unattractive.
It’s likely a similar effect with somebody that while not fearful, is easy to anger and often surly and aggressive. Little things that to most are a minor annoyance are seen as aggressive acts toward the person and adrenaline is released to prepare for conflict. It is my theory that adrenaline either shuts down positive pheromones…produces a “run the fuck away” alarm type of pheromone…or some combination of the two. As stated, in times of authentic danger this can benefit the social group, but constantly giving off this type of signal under nonthreatening circumstances would make others see you as either a coward that fears everything, or a potentially dangerous person prone to unwarranted bouts of anger and aggression.
In either case, I believe that exploring self help and self improvement methods that focus on confidence (reducing unrealistic fear), assertiveness (CALM confrontation), anger management, and stress management could help the body/mind to reduce your production of nervous fight or flight pheromones that might be driving people away.
Now as I stated, I’m no chemist, or endocrinologist so I haven’t got clue one if this explanation is even remotely valid but it sounds logical to me. And if I am off base, I don’t feel it’s too much of an issue as I don’t see the advice given based off of it to be negative in either case. In fact even if it doesn’t help, working on confidence and controlling your anger can never hurt. Building your social circle and deepening already existing social alliances is always a good thing, physical fitness…always a good thing.
Oh, another thing…even if you don’t feel like you’re easily intimidated by life and are not the fear filled nervous jumpy guy, or the angry guy and are still feeling like you give of a repulsive vibe…consider your intake of stimulants. Caffeine and other stimulants can cause temporary increases in both adrenalin and noradrenalin so chronic consumption of coffee, soda and energy drinks may cause production of adrenalin and if I’m right about there being an “alarm” pheromone…they may be causing you to produce it without wanting to.
Great post Radman
I wanted to add one thing regarding states that really helped me.
Don’t live your life trying to avoid anger as if it is some big mistake, or show of weakness when that is really not the case at all.
I went through a period of time in my life where I was trying too hard to be happy, and when things didn’t go that way I would easily get frustrated and blow up. You see this trait in not so much spiritual people, but PIOUS spiritual people.
You are human, you will experience trials and tribulations. It is more important to learn how to own your anger, accept responsibility for it (not blame), see it, accept that its a part of your moment and then calmly handle the issue.
If you go around thinking that you’re supposed to somehow be Superman where the jabs of the world bounce off your chest like foam bullets, you will instead experience anything and everything as kryptonite and be taken down time and time again by your own folly.
An Alpha Male, a good man, a strong man with integrity is not some emotionless stoic sociopath who is 100% unaffected by anything. He is a man who experiences all, but handles it appropriately. There is a time for yelling, and there is a time for shutting the fuck up. A mature, well balanced man learns when those times are.
Ultimately its about balance. There will ne times when anger is appropriate, or when fear can save your life. But in the end if you’re feeling this way all the time, its bound to effect your body chemistries and thus your mone production.
Thank you I’ve been dealing with this today when I feel sad I freak out because I expect nothing to effect me.
I remembered David Deangelo said not to be a cry baby so I basicly try to always stay calm and never let anything effect me.
I’m starting to think I shouldn’t do this anymore.
I’ve listened to all of David Deangelo’s stuff and yes he advocates evicting your inner wussy, and to stop whining, bitching and complaining. But the thing is that David D’s teaching, and frankly the majority of Pickup Theories and techniques are aimed at men over the age of 21. The fact that so much of PUA is geared for the Bar/Club scene is testament to that fact.
Now I’m sure David D would agree that if somebody struck you, ok that’s probably worth getting upset over.
I’m fairly certain that if heaven forbid a loved one passes away, it’s acceptable and expected for even the toughest of men to cry.
Having control over your emotions and stiffling them are two totally different things. True maturity is knowing the difference, knowing when something is worth getting upset over. And experiencing a release of emotion without letting the emotions control you.
Being able to control your emotions is a sign of maturity, but control doesn’t mean elimination of emotions. It simply means you don’t allow your emotions to dictate your REactions to situations causing you to do something that later on you might regret.
Feel fear, acknowledge it and accept it, think of it as a shield that can keep you alive when the shit REALLY hits the fan. But always be mindful and ask yourself if you are being effective behind the shield…is it actually necessary at that moment?
Feel anger, embrace it and hold it like a powerful weapon. But again, having a weapon is not license to use it indiscriminately. Feeling anger doesn’t mean it’s ok to lash out. Know where the line is from when you draw the weapon to show, and when it’s time to put it to use. Some guy calls you an asshole and gives you the finger doesn’t truly effect you…who is he that you should give a shit? Now if somebody actually threatens you with violence, or initiates a physical altercation…well then it’s time to decide which would better serve you in the long run. Act on fear (which sometimes is honestly the wiser choice) and get away, or act on anger and return the aggression.
You state that you’re taking martial arts. If this is true then to be honest I question your teacher. The discipline that comes (or at least should come) with training in the arts of violence more often than not cultivates a personality type that is not only slow to anger and frustration, but usually radiates a level of confidence and dominance that drives away antagonists, bully’s usually just leave them alone and don’t see them as potential targets.
Frankly between my knowledge of body language and my own martial arts experience, I can spot a genuine fighter from a mile away. If the guy is ex military, or been practicing martial arts for a substantial length of time there’s something about the facial expression, the look in the eye, posture, etc. They tend not to fidget or make unnecessary body movements, everything is deliberate and purposeful. They don’t get angry at anything that isn’t a legitimate threat. It’s like the attitude is “I can kill you with my pinky and I know it, so I don’t need to even acknowledge you”
I’m veering off though. The ultimate point is don’t go to the extreme on either end. Don’t be an animal that is incapable of deliberate action, animals can only REact based on fight or flight instinct.
But don’t be a robot either. Remember one of the basic attraction switches is the willingness to emote (and that your emotions are wired properly)