The Reconnoiters: The Journal of an "Inside Man".

[jx1234]

Forward:

I feel there is a need for a forward to my journal, to clarify and to make a parameter for my observations.

I’m 27, from the Midwest. My main hope is to use pheromones to boost my confidence in my day to day life.

As stated in my intro, I am very androgynous/I would be identified by most as gender non-binary, or transgender (look up gender dysphoria). I tend to specify the non binary as I am currently not in any kind of transition. I dress as the opposite sex as I was born (xx) , and at times have identified as xy with my close friends. I tend to lean more towards the masculine side, always have since I was quite young.

I am posting in the men’s journal section because:

In terms of relationships I have only really been with straight women. These women have remained straight after I was with them, and as far as I know have never had relationships with other women. Both of my long term relationships are now married to, I would say, significantly alpha males. It would hold then that the same individuals that I would hope to attract would be drawn to male pheromone signatures. ( I’m not completely closed off to lesbian or bi women, however I assume most people would probably find it to be a huge turn off to have someone attracted to you for the opposite gender you identify with, so things can get dicey). By my reading, the majority of journals in this section, straight women have been a primary target.

As stated I dress primarily in xy fashion, I feel uncomfortable in xx’s clothing as would most people in my situation. People will at times interpret me to be male. If you walked into my apartment, you would most likely guess that a male lived in this location. I’ve got a large buck rack hanging from hunting, I have a whole stack of comic books in the corner, some skateboards, free weights, and I’m messy as shit. None of this makes me xy, I would tend to agree, certainly a xx could be this way too, however I feel that this would be the best fit for this place - if I can draw in a straight woman in my current state, then it would be more significant. I mean really if I being of puny stature and 5ft5, can draw in women, then so much more so will other born xy individuals be able to, whats good for me-is good for you.

It follows that if a neutral source can attract the target of the pheromone signatures, it would be substantial supporting evidence that these do in fact work. Likewise with something that increases the likelihood of me being interpreted as male or female, I could highlight some perceived effects on the observing party that otherwise might not be noted.

I have a lot of really great thoughts I want to dig into here, and I think this may tend to be my observations on other’s perceptions in the context of pheromones.

I can be myself a subject and make an interesting case study, while I try to build my confidence with pheros. I plan to test out as much as I am able to, however since I am still currently xx, my body may react differently to pheromones, which is why I feel it necessary to be open about my situation, as it may not be the same as most, since I don’t manufacture my own pheromones that I would prefer, it could provide interesting information for individuals who already produce lower numbers of pheromones as well.

Anyway, I hope to soon update on my testing, and read more journals for a good format I like.

Cheers-JX

[jx1234]

Week 1:

My first week with pheros. I went with my first bottle of Instant Shine.

Personal Effects

1-3x- fairly subtle initially.
I will have to say, prior to use I was having some negative self talk. I did notice a decline.

The overall feel good effect, would sneak up on me after dosages of sprays. I like the smell.

I did not believe this stuff until I went to a party when I was testing this two weeks ago. I sprayed 1x to my hair, 1x to my wrists, and 2x to the chest. Quite a lot but, this was a party that I only knew two people, and it was an acquaintance of theirs. I noticed that I was significantly more uninhibited. I didn’t drink since I wanted an escape plan for driving if it was not my style of party, so that was not a factor. I was more outgoing and a little less concerned with my own personal space bubble. I ended up staying later than most at the party.

Effects Observed from Others

1-3x

I noticed a more positive vibe among my coworkers when I did wear IS. It was subtle since generally we can be more positive when we’re all in a good mood. We all get stuck in a room together with little ventilation, so the mood turned goofy and distracted quite quick. Could be effects, could just be all of us kicking back.

I had a positive interaction with my supervisor. It usually is, but the mood was really light as time wore on.

At the party:
(dosage mentioned earlier)
That is where it got interesting. I was standing talking with my friends, again the only people I know, chowing down on food at the table when this gorgeous girl, shoulder length curly hair comes out of nowhere and starts talking to me. Honestly, of the whole crowd, she was the most attractive person there. Even now I don’t know how it started, I do not think I initiated, I was too busy stuffing my face.

Now this was the type of party where I have no clue what peoples orientations are, because this is a very open broad group of people. For days after this party I’ve been thinking about her, which is very rare for me, I’m not much of a crush-er…The first part of our convo started out really good, we talked about scary movies and haunted houses, you can tell this girl’s super intelligent, we’re having great eye contact, and she’s ruffling her hair making her curls bounce, and I realize whoa we are standing close. Literally, I had to set down the plate I was holding, because I was afraid I was going to knock into her with it. I have a huge space bubble so the fact that it took me that long to realize it, means something. It was really light convo though, definitely took a lot of my awkward edge off with the shine. She even touched my arm.

I thought it was going well, then she walked off somewhere. Really, is she a real person because I kept scanning the house for where she went, and I didn’t even see her for at least an hour. I was bummed…

I get to talking with some other people. I notice her around but, she’s not coming anywhere near me and I’m not going to be a creep, I play it cool and just meet other people. This one couple starts chatting my friend and I up. I guess they’re poly, but from the sounds of it, they haven’t been with anyone else but each other. I honestly can’t remember this girl’s name, we talked a bit, but got weird vibes from her. So I’m not into it, I’m not poly, I don’t care, but my friend, she’s in a similar situation with her significant other, he was there too, and they discussed their frustrations with not being able to hook up. I’m like, wow, you two sound similar…trying to wingman a little. I try to back out of the convo and talk with the girl’s sig other. He’s alright I don’t really like him and get a bit of a creeper vibe, as he’s giving poly girl some eye sex from afar. Just go home already.

They didn’t, I end up sitting on the arm of a chair talking with the poly couple and my friend. She goes off and sure enough, the girl-with-curls comes back again sits right in the middle of the chair, so its me on one arm, poly dude on the other arm, and tipsy poly girl on the floor. We all talk a bit. Nothing really goes anywhere after that. Good vibes, but no real outstanding indicators beyond that, she lets poly dude give her a back massage, while poly girl is doing sex eyes with him. She had no awareness of this…certainly an odd interaction.

I keep up the convo with her and poly-power-eye-sex couple, but end up going off as the host of the party calls me and curly hair over. We talk records. She touches my arm once again, but that’s it. Maybe I was trying too hard. She says shes going to head home, she stayed longer than she said she would. She doesn’t even say bye to poly couple.

I dunno. I’m feeling like arm touching isn’t always an IOI, mainly because some people are just super touchy-feely. At the end of the party though I was heading out and poly girl says she’d bang me. Just straight out. I find an excuse to leave quicker, not my type. I say goodbye to host and everyone left at the party whether they met me or not says I’m pretty cool. The host fist bumps me and says we’re bros and we should hang again.

Overall a good test, positive interactions. I’m a super gentle person to begin with, I think shine mellowed me out to some ultra soft vibes, good for some situations, but I can see that at times it could help to add a little more backbone to the mix.

But I after that I was pretty much out a bottle, I ordered a bigger one this week. I can see the confidence boost for sure.

[jx1234]

Week 2: Testing A314 and My Pheromone Theory

At the beginning of week two, despite my seemingly positive results with Instant Shine. I continued to find myself skeptical.

I ordered a314/b spray version, it came at the tale end of my testing with IS. I did not like the smell at all initially. I came to realize that it was due to a scent association I had with another person. This scent does seem to last long when sprayed to your chest.

Self Effects

The first day:
1x spray to the chest, to work.

There were no initial overt effects on myself. I did not get the same result as wearing instant shine. After a few days of use I would notice a slight build in mood. Negative Self Talk: virtually null until 6-7hrs. Stress at work did build, I maintained a calmness throughout, and felt slightly more productive. This is quite subtle.

I began upping the dosage to see if the effects would increase. 1x and 2x had no noticeable immediate effects for me.

3x
I believe I have begun to hit my sweet spot. This was the moment that I realized, yes, these pheromones do cause a physiological response. This, this was noticeable…

I was about to go out and dosed myself with 3 sprays to the neck instead of chest after suggestions to the forum. Location change + increased dosage. Suddenly all “noise” in my mind stopped (by noise I mean background distracting thoughts, it was like I was simply in the moment.) My eyes focused, I could see things slightly more sharply, it was more vibrant. I was like, “What no, this is not, no way”. I was shocked, and looked on in disbelief. About 30 minutes later, a wave of what I would call, pensive confidence emerged.

The Development of a Theory

After about a week (and a half) of using this, I have some significant thoughts on how this might work. My belief is that this created an externally caused physiological response- sudden clarity, and pupil dilation. I think the key here is the pupil dilation and I am just going to focus on that aspect for a bit here.

“…pupil dilation correlates with arousal so consistently that researchers use pupil size, or pupillometry, to investigate a wide range of psychological phenomena.”
The Meaning of Pupil Dilation | The Scientist Magazine?
(nothing super scholarly but still interesting)

What this means is, that your or the other persons body is reacting in the way that it would towards an arousing stimulus. Arousal does not just mean sexual here. It means any reaction to a stimuli- so for example an angry person could be said to be having arousal due to whatever is making them angry.

Since there is already a significant amount of evidence that suggests that if we do things that correlate with our emotional expression, we can actually cause that emotion to begin by doing the external action caused by it. To explain, evidence shows, and this is widely taught in therapy, that if we do an opposite action to a negative emotion we can actually begin change our mental process in a positive direction. An example of this is “half-smiling”, by half smiling you actually cause reactions in your body that are similar to smiling-so you can actually become happy because you smile. It is a way that our bodies seem to be hardwired.

If this holds true, it could likely be true for pupil dilation which gives way to our body being like " WTF why I am having an arousal response right now" and our minds naturally begin to fill in the blanks about why our body is reacting. We begin to draw our own conclusions about what our body is telling us.

If say, you are walking next to someone on a crowded street you have a scent/pheromone radius, this could hit any person within this radius, you have control over the area in which you allow this to spread-thus controlling the target people who have this physiological response.

What you don’t have control over, is how they perceive that target response. If say your target individual is walking next to you looking straight ahead, they may perceive that it is the individual in front of them. The same goes for a crowd at a show. I posit that unless you are able to draw attention to yourself from the individual, this response will go unnoticed by you- because you are unable to account for the target individuals thoughts. An individual could have the response and falsely attribute it to another source because they will naturally be filling in the blank.

I could imagine that even an extremely subtle thing like raising your hand to ruffle your hair, scratch your neck, eye contact, a smile etc. is enough to draw attention to you in that moment and increasing the likelihood of you getting a hit. More so if you actually engage in conversation with the person.

This also explains negative hits, as if someone interprets you to be the guy or gal that pisses them off due to your pheromone mix, it’s likely their mind filling in the blanks from the arousal in a negative way.

This is quite simplified, but it makes sense to me when focusing on one simple physiological reaction.

More on A314 and testing for another time.

[jx1234]

Testing Week of A314: Effects Continued

I decided to break this up a bit. I realized I’m getting too chatty and possibly boringly deep on these posts. I legitimately think A314 gives me a deep “pondering” effect. I get real somber, and pensive.

I also have adjusted to not completely hating the smell.

Previously I admitted 3x is my sweet spot, but I’m trying to be conservative with this bottle.

Self Effects
2x to the neck/smeared on jawline…

I had one of my coworkers come up to me and say “you seem different”, I shrugged it off, but A314 makes me, I guess really steady. I don’t feel negative-I don’t feel giddy. About 30 minutes in I continue to get an inkling and its not a “I’m proud of myself confidence” it’s a simple “I am” confidence.

I realized this week, I’ve needed less caffeine-I’ve been drinking significantly less, and after I spray in the AM I feel less tired. I’ve read about introverts needing less external stimulation due to higher internal stimuli…perhaps there’s a correlation here.

I maintained focus on completing my coursework after a few sprays. I need something to help me get through advanced statistics.

I’ve been able to maintain focus on therapeutic interventions with clients…and coworkers. IF it is decreasing mental clutter I’m getting less distracted and worried about what I’ll say next, helping me draw out what I actually want to say from the dispersion of my mind.

Possible Effects on Others
2x to the neck/smeared on jawline…

1)Trust hit? I have an employee that I see every day when I first come in to work for a good amount of time. Poor girl probably gets the full blast of my phero-cloud. She continues to be chatty- she’s always chatty, some days more than others. She’s a brunette (not sure if dyed or not) , Caucasian, early 20s.

When I first started the 2x of A314 I’ve had a difficult time seeing effects on the person who would be most likely to get hit with it. Her chattiness increased on the first day, she also clearly had more caffeine intake as well, so it’s difficult to fully account for. She unconsciously stroked her hair more. She practically has daddy’s girl tattooed on her face, I recalled this after I began wearing it. She really opened up to me this week after being exposed a few days in a row about her frustrations with her other co workers, I got the feeling that it was something that she had been getting annoyed about for some time and wouldn’t have said until now.

2. Respect hit? The maintenance man, Caucasian, 50s- always wearing something 'merica affiliated. He and I have not always seen eye to eye. We really butted heads a few years ago. I was in a lower position, and now I am in a higher one. I haven’t been able to tell if he was told by our company to tone it down or the mere fact that I am in a higher position gives me more respect.

We’ve had issues with one of our kitchen appliances for a long time in our facility. He was fixing some piping near it and walked into my office and began to discuss the piping and almost immediately he switched topics and decided to replace the entire appliance next to it. He was like “I’ve been meaning to replace it for awhile, how about I replace it today?”. It wasn’t completely broken, it was certainly functional, just a little wonky, after that he discussed what type he would get and said “Anything you like you’re the boss.”. That was shocking to me. He proceeded to go out and purchase the nicest one he could find. My employee and I exchanged looks of confusion.

[Dee_A]

Wow! Great observations! Im subscribing for future reads.