Wow…
While waiting for my first order of pheromones to arrive I have had entirely too much time to reflect. It so exciting to be here where people in general but women in specific are taking chemical control of their emotions. I am a lot more conscious about the path I followed to come here than I have been at any other point in my life.
So, while I’m waiting I’m going to write it down. I had my hysterectomy when I was 30. Until that point I was more the victim of my chemicals than the leader or architect of my own system. Hormones weren’t my destiny because I could resist them but they did define the struggle for me.
When I started hormone replacement therapy it never occured to me how much of my emotional life I could define. I took the Meds as prescribed even though they included progesterone as well as estrogen and the dosages varied through out the month to simulate an emotional period even though I no longer had a physical period. It took me several years before I became aware of the fact that I had choices. In my case the progesterone called out the psycho bitch from hell while it was easy to be me on high estrogen days. When my doctor wouldn’t prescribe estrogen only HRT I discovered that I could hunt for a doctor who would be my partner and not the boss of me.
I can’t emphasize enough how important that was to my career. Every time I was fired it was a high progesterone day, either naturally before my hysterectomy or artificially afterwards. I honestly don’t know if I would have my pension today if I hadn’t elimenated high progesterone days from my life.
I’m going to break this into parts. My phone gets twitchy with long posts.
traci
For the next 15 years I wasn’t thinking about my chemicals. It wasn’t until the oxytocin studies and the creation of Liquid Trust that I came back to this interest. We are so lucky that pheromones have never been drugs. We are lucky that they probably wouldn’t even work as a pill or injection. The official weirdness surrounding oxytocin self experimentation demonstrate that clearly. I am inducing my lactation largely because it is the only legal method for obtaining higher doses of oxytocin.
Because our pheromones are just chemicals and non-explosive chemicals at that, we can buy any mix and almost any possible strength. That is so exciting! If I appear to be jumping up and down and running around in circles on the sidelines you can understand where I am coming from. This is right on the frontier and most of the traditional nay sayers have no jurisdiction here. Maybe my pheromones will arrive tomorrow. <grin>
traci
How weird my two sequential posts are getting posted in reverse order. I’m not sure what I did to make that happen. Sorry about that.
traci
I don’t know why, but I got the impression that pheromones were chemicals we secreted to effect other people. I knew hormones were intrinsicly personal but it didn’t occur to me that pheromones were too. To be fair I even looked at hormones mostly in the context of what they let me be for other people. I was excited that oxytocin would let me be open and trusting like I was for my first lover. I knew that people used it to make other people trust them but that never sank in before.
The marketing of pheromones like the Athena pheromones reinforced that impression. Men’s products were to be worn by men to effect women and women’s products were worn by women to effect men. When I wore the Athena women’s mix I never noticed it effecting me or my attitude or my behavior.
The first time I started to read the women’s tips here something felt strange. It took a while for me to figure out what felt strange. Women were using men’s products and were talking about how good it made them feel or it brought out certain behaviors. That was so liberating, we could do it for ourselves. The more I thought about it the more exciting the prospect became. I also started looking at other things differently. Many of the women who were interested in lactation were also talking about what it felt like and meant to them. It wasn’t about what their lovers liked or wanted, they wanted the way it effected them even if they didn’t have a lover.
This site is all about the freedom to create states that we like in ourselves in addition to what we want to have happen in our relationships. This is so exciting!