i would have tried to talk you out of all that TAH-
MX135 has TAH in it as well.
maybe alot :o
his “disinterest” may have been him overwhelmed by signals, in car with ONLY 50mu P86 on i would have gone into a coma.
and that isnt including 100mu TAH,IH,MX135…
imagine someone who isnt used to even a sniff !
in his head, he may have been thinking too heavily about why he is feeling
dizzy to chat you up
my gaydar works.
i knew he wasnt gay.
and,for the record,
and
tells me christa was making sure you didnt dive in head-first !
sneaky christa…hmmmm…
Okay - okay - next time I am in your town I will come by, order a beer (should I ask one of the new guys for a recommendation? lol) and “mystery stalk” you … lol.
Maybe when the semester is over I will bring Remmy - I think she mentioned once she likes beer?
Anyone else up to go order a beer and “stalk” Lor?
I have a feeling I will be writing about this guy for a while…
He needs a better nickname. “Medic McRainbow Abs” doesn’t work - He was a medic in the military, which wasn’t exactly yesterday. He’s not a medic at all anymore, so that’s not him. And, he’s not gay.
I’ve decided on Texas McBlues. He’s a huge, huge Texas pride guy. Loves the state, and everything about it. He’s originally from there. He also loves blues music. Speaks to him. We had a great time at the blues show Friday, and are going to see more blues bands this weekend/month.
Let me better explain what I was doing.
I put on 100mcg of TAH at 1000. My normal skin temp and metabolism ensured that the pheros were all gone by 2pm at the absolute latest. However, what I was going for was the mental, lasting effect.
That worked, actually. Even though there was no outward, venting TAH going on, I was still in the TAH frame of mind. I loved it. That happy, peaceful, loving feeling was great. It helped alleviate my nerves too.
I don’t know what was happening biochemically, but I do know that the 100mcg of TAH was gone from my skin/topically by the time we met up at 1845.
I applied the 2 sprays mx135 and the rest. The addition of the mx135 felt like it was a slingshot back to super TAH mode. I’m not sure if that’s because of the mental frame I was already in or what, but I went to TAH-ifstan with a quickness. Also, when we finally linked up, I was very, very much a follower. I was happy to let him be the knight in shining armor. I was happy to let him lead.
MX135 has 54ish mcg per spray of juice, TAH dominant. So, yes it was a lot to wear, but I dont count the 100mcg TAH within that. (If I am wrong, do please correct me! )
So yeah, maybe I did it wrong, but hey - the research data from the 100mcg TAH could be useful! I seriously was stuck in TAH mental frame for hours. It was awesome.
When the MX135 wore off (and I had one beer), I was able to tap back into my natural TAL mode, which he loved. But, the next morning, I was still felling the TAH vibes until about noonish-2pm. They wore off sometime when I was on the beach.
Mmmm… No. Chris isn’t “like that.” We don’t really get along, but she just doesn’t think like that. If there ever was a computer living inside a person, its her.
Chris, Meg and I were chatting about where to eat dinner that evening after the conference. We invited the fire guys, the DHS guys and then I asked Chris if Texas McBlues was coming along. She, very dissmisively, said, “Oh, of course. Tex is one of the girls!” Now, as innocuous as that sounds, you have to put yourself in my shoes that day. This was a tactical conference. Most everyone was in tactical pants (cargo pants, plus) and operational polos.
Texas McBlues was in a three piece suit. A very nicely tailored three piece suit. He has sideburns that go down to the bottom of his ear lobes, and has black rimmed, slightly horned glasses. His hair is like a shorter, tousled version of Elvis’. He is very expressive with his hands. He’s super hot. He holds himself very straight and tall. He’s in great shape.
No wedding ring, snappy actions, biting sense of humor, super hot and super fashionable - surrounded by guys who are pumped full of testosterone and “truth and justice”/“rub some dirt on it, grunt grunt”… it stands out.
Blah blah, dont judge a book by it’s cover, but hey! That’s how we read people. We size them up by outward appearances. We’re not always right (obviously). But I had cause, man! :o
So, we blackberry chat all this past weekend long, little tidbits here and there - how are you’s and what’s up’s, had a great, great time, etc. I went hiking on Sunday and was out of blackberry range for most of the day - when I came down off the mountain, there was an emailing waiting for me from him:
“…hope you are having a great day… still plugging away at my thesis… what does your week look like? … it’s weird, I think of you as a super secret agent… i’m not ever so intrigued by anyone, but your energy - I can’t put it into words … looking forward to seeing you again …”
I ended up at a restaurant very near to his town, so I popped a message over to him inviting him for a drink, with the caveat that he not judge my sweaty, dirty self. He made very good time to the restaurant!
We talked and hung out for about three hours. I was, unfortunately, sans pheros. I normally bring my whole arsenal everywhere I go, but I didn’t bring them hiking. Teaches me!
I noticed he was nervous around me! It took him a while to relax and jibe back into the conversational flow. He was totally grasping for words and trying to think of things to say (at first). That’s weird for me - I am generally so bubbly and open, no one has trouble talking to me. I got him to open up though, just being happy, normal and fun.
We ended up having a really great, nice time. Lots of convo and “getting to know the deeper you” stuff.
He really feeds off of my dominant side. He likes and enjoys that I can meet him as his equal. We were bouncing thoughts and ideas off of each other, and referencing each others life experiences to get to the root understanding - he was always so thrilled that I could understand his meaning, his words, his thoughts. That came from being his equal in his eyes. My traits, characteristics, and professional history are so much more in line with a successful males career - it throws people for a loop many, many times. However, Texas McBluesloves it. Digs it. He felt that I could understand him, professionally and personally.
I will put serious serious money on him being a TAL guy. I bet if I wear it around him again, he goes wild.
I NEED SOME IS/A AND MX134/300, STAT!!!
He’s enroute to the east at the moment for a conference. He comes back wednesday. Judging by our crackberry addictive/enabling behavior, I know we’ll be in contact throughout. (C’mon other crackberry users, support me here - he waited 24 hours on his blackberry to email back. That’s an eternity for us crack fingers!)
We have a date this saturday.
We also have a date for a concert in mid may.
And a blues fest coming up.
He intrigues me. He’s nice, kind, humorous, funny, intelligent, attractive (hot), honorable, ambitious, fun, a workaholic, a funaholic, extroverted, loves to travel, adventurous, a dreamer, a seeker … Some traits I very much like, some I am not so familiar with. I can see myself coming to like him very much, maybe even fall in love with him, if given time. I am very cautious and slow in these matters. Takes me a long (long) time, and I am very analytical about the process. (We actually started chatting a bit about that last night - how people are and act, and their happiness levels. I mentioned that my overarching theory on life and happiness is that true, deep inner happiness comes from utterly loving yourself, relying on yourself, being your own “best friend;” I then mentioned how the next stage of my life would be to find someone that I could love just as much, and partner together with. My version of “true love.” Probably not the best thing to say on a 2nd “date;” :o I think it was the margarita talking! But he didn’t run fleeing into the night.
And, like the sweet gentleman that he is, he asked me to email when I got safely home again - you know those margaritas, just one, and I’m done! not! I learned to drink from the Royal Navy…
I need to get some serious test reports up here soon. Hopefully I will have that data uploaded later today.
I have a really high basal skin temp. These pheros go off me quick like - I vent and vent, and - done! I’m not sure if thats why i can/do use high doses, or what, but I have found, especially with the putatives, that higher doses are necessary to get “desired” effects. With testing, i will ramp it up to high territories, then drop down for actual “usage.”
50 mcg p86 is standard dose for me. More and I get sleepy - but at that dosage, i don’t get sleepy anymore. 25 mcg and there’s almost an irritating visual effect. “something” on the periphery. I posted a bit more about p86 in your journal.
I’m not smart enough to know what’s going on biochemically with the TAH. It lasts - it puts me in a new mental frame. It doesn’t seem to be on my skin anymore. (I don’t have a good nose for pheros [though I smelled the p91], but even huffing my app points, I cannot smell it, hours after application)
I do like this guy - we shall see what plays out. However, I am very serious when I say I am analytical and slow, methodical in these instances. There will be no gushing posts from me, hearts and flowers and BS. When things dont go right, or I go all spastic, then that crap comes out - that’s when I know it’s “weird.”
I am conflicted about how this plays out with Medic McSteamy Muscles. If he wants to stake a claim, he will. If not, I have to go with who wants to be with me. The, hmm… awkward bit is that Texas McBlues and I are creating a huge training curriculum for our little “people” … the same people that Medic McSteamy Muscles will also be training for the medical portion. We will be sending them to him.
This guy is a section leader of a major, major “my work” section. For those of you who know the reference, he is Jack Bauer’s boss/supervisor, a la “24.” Six foot, muscled, proud, honorable, strong, a long, and successful career, aggressive, in charge, in control, in command -
And he told me that I was intimidating to him.
We were driving to the music venue and chatting about some other people I work with, and I mentioned off handedly that I thought they were intimidated by me. He laughed out loud and said that he totally understands - he’s intimidated by me too!
Later on, he was looking for a place to park around the music venue, and I teased him, asking if he was looking for the perfect little back alley to murder me in. He burst out laughing and then said no, no, he was sure that I would disarm him and kill him if he tried.
sigh I try to not be so intimidating… I was in a skirt and to-die-for heels!
Application Dosage & Locations:
37.5 mcg - to neck
Later, additional 37.5mcg to neck
Environment Tested In: Office
Self Effects:
Started smiling, feeling happy, very bouncy. I was perky and very happy. Giggly. I wanted to be with other people. Other people seemed to magnify the effects of the happiness.
I was very chatty, across multiple mediums. I was desk dancing and acting silly at times. There wasn’t a deep, centered calmness to this phero - it was much, much more light. More a bubbly kind of happiness.
Effects to Others: Giggles and happiness. Lots of smiles, lots of funny stories. We all seemed to vibe together and enjoy each others company. One coworker started whistling the Barnum and Bailey circus theme. That seemed to be the atmosphere. Lots of giggles - lots of humor where there didn’t need to be any.
Duration of Effects: About 4 hours.
Range: About 2 feet
Time Exposure: 1-3 mins for outward reactions in others
Self Effects:
Calm, peaceful. Content. Warm. I felt like I was floating in a golden cloud. It wasn’t a head space thing, and I didn’t feel any physical effects. There was just a “softening” of the air around me, a generally warm, content, peaceful glow. Sometimes it seemed to be visual, but more often it was a generally happy, content, “all is well” vibe. The feeling you get hearing the lines from Taps: “…all is well… safely rest… God is nigh…”
I did get a bit tired, but not overtly sleepy. More of a nagging need to stretch and shake my head once in a while. Not a yawning attack though.
Effects to Others: A general happy, content vibe permeated the office. The Pastor and I had some good, happy conversations, though he had a headache.
In conflict/turmoil; transition point in life
Calm exterior – multitude of thoughts lurk deep beneath the surface
Drawn to things and doesn’t quite know why
Thinks and thinks and thinks – analyzes again and again
Happy when challenged/thrives on personal challenge/relying on inner self to succeed (I dont think he is aware that’s what’s going on.)
Feels “stuck” personally/professional, yet on the verge of “something”
Always on the edge of “greatness”/next good thing - never feels fully attained
Wants to live for a deeper meaning/purpose; “his life has a purpose”
Finds patterns and rhythms in life, deeper meaning for things beyond day-to-day
Familiar with change, yet change for a purpose or meaning
“Random” change not good; grass is not greener – grass has been reconnoitered
Equal introvert/extrovert; projected extrovert, but deeply personal
Seeks meaningful human interactions; close personal relationships valued
Can, and often does “go it alone”
Seeks someone who understands
Other people are tolerated; peripheral acquaintances, few close personal associates
Tries hard to make personal relationships work; when done, when not working, feels it deeply – until one day, done – done with feeling pain/hurt/confusion; that contact is over
Hard to heal from that “cutting off”
Not a lot of “going back”
Admires strong personalities
Admires strength of character
Attempts to live by personal honor code
Insatiable curiosity to life; desire to live
Desire to protect
Feels very strongly about that which he holds dear – will fight to the death/defend with his life
unknown - the above was just a jot down of stuff that I didn’t want living on my hard drive at the moment.
He really thinks I am a super secret agent. He texted me tonight saying I wasn’t “really” on a hike on Sunday… I guess I was vibing Lor when I replied that no, i was actually at our super secret alien base in the mountains - area 52.
He laughed. I think he’s still trying to figure me out.
Self Effects:
Shorter temper, more quick to assertive/aggressive. My alpha vibe came out. I was sharp, to the point, and commanding.
I pounded 3 margaritas in 2 hours at the bar with a co-worker. I never, never felt drunk or tipsy. Ever! it was very frustrating. I watched the bartender make them, so I knew there was (alot) of tequila in them. I could taste it. But, I never felt it. I walked in a perfectly straight line and had no outward “drunk/tipsy” expressions. People thought I was a drinking machine!
The next morning, I felt it.
I also over-ate. Oh my god, my tummy hurt!
I could NOT go to sleep. I tossed and turned for hours. When I did drift off, I woke up ever 45 mins. It was a long, yucky night. I didn’t feel “normal” either - felt like I was in a fog, kind of a haze. Weird.
Effects to Others: I wrangled myself a bartender!
The young male bartender was enamored with me. Let me be clear - this was not based on looks. I had a long, long day yesterday and I looked rough. No makeup, tired eyes, limp hair. There were two smoking hot blonde hotties at the other end of the bar. He served them with a perfunctory grace and then zoomed back over to my corner of the bar. He “performed;” bottle flips, tricks, glass spins, pouring and splashing the alcohol, etc. He was always hanging around. Tried to talk to us at every chance he got. I saw him looking at me from across the bar a few times, but he was mostly performing/interacting within the “bubble.”
We got a free appetizer and then he brought out a plate of cookies from the back for us. This place does not serve cookies. I dont know where he got them.
He made a point to tell us he worked on Tuesdays, kept saying his name was Brian and asked us to come back/how often did we come?
My total bill - $8.
There was an equal mix of guys and girls a the bar last night, but only men sat around us. We had a wall of men surrounding us!
