you are so damn alpha.
your gifts are very apparent on this forum,
and they are lucky to have you.
you boil things down to bottom-lines
and sweep away all the riffraff.
now the medic part of you might have to bandage up some cuts,
so dont dissapear!
ah hahaha that was freaky
did you see that???
Thanks 
i said the same thing to bosshank re medics. me thinks there are apoplectic fits a plenty! 
And we are waiting the results …
Amidst all the crazy life swirls on…
Had several business meetings last night, then met up with Texas McBlues. it was an unplanned, spur of the moment get together. Our initial get together early in the week was canceled due to a rather big “incident” that we had no control over.
He was headed downtown to meet with someone, and was talking about doing some homework, getting some reading done, etc. I chime in with a suggestion to meet for coffee, if he thinks he can swing it.
It was like a light switch went off. Suddenly he was super excited and happy about seeing me. Was “surprised” that I would come to downtown (it’s not that far from me). “Coffee” turned into dinner, then after dinner coffee, etc…
Well, since this was all blowing up, and I was getting contacted by everyone under the sun regarding this place, my blackberry was vibrating itself to death! Not so good for a dinner with your hunk! 
As I was still very vested in the outcome, I was doing my best to be there with him and respond to the emails/pms/phone calls - and failing.
He already thinks I am some super secret agent with a double or triple life. When I told him it was related to something that he knew “nothing about, at all,” … that was met with raised eyebrows. I bit the bullet and told him I would tell him about it around less people.
After dinner, we sit outside, and he’s asks me what super-secret spy stuff I have going on. I think some of you know this, but I started here due to my interest in “operational” aspects of pheros, specifically the “socials.” I do a lot of other research based around that.
So thats the tack I take with him regarding “spilling the beans.” First, I ask him what he knows about pheromones - he knows nothing. Absolutely nothing. (Really? I thought everyone had heard something about it. I thought I would be fighting misunderstandings and misinformation…) I run really quick through what they are and how they work (like, really quick - about 3 sentences) and why I am researching them. I then talk about the operational aspects that I envision. He perks up at that!
So… Texas McBlues knows about pheros. 
It was pretty cold, and I had no jacket, so we ducked around the block and went to a little coffee shop to talk more. I thought he was going to pepper me with questions about the pheros, but no. Just some curious looks. I am SURE that he is googleing today though… (HI TEX!)
Well… we started talking, and “somehow” (ie, I fumbled and brought it up) ended up having the DTR talk.. the dreaded talk… the “we need to talk” talk… the Define the Relationship talk.
It went shockingly, surprisingly well. I had really poor expectations actually. I expected it to go much, much worse than it did. (Don’t ask - its not a reflection on him at all. Part of it was situationally based, and the other part was my innate nature to assume and expect disaster.)
What came out of the conversation was:
He has an unbelievably high level of respect and care/concern for me. He truly, truly values me as an individual
We clearly have a deep seated attraction for each other, both physical, emotional and mental. There are long term prospects and visions from both of us, and a long term place for each other in both of our lives - at some level.
We both consider each other a very close friend, and a valuable addition to our own lives.
I am coming to the potential relationship fully formed and “ready to go.”
He still has some emotional residue to process through.
We are thus staying in “holding pattern alpha” and proceeding as we have been - friends, attraction, but nothing proceeding further. We want the relationship, if there is one to develop, to be based upon the both of us coming into it, honestly, completely, with intentions toward it.
That was a pretty heavy conversation, but one filled with honesty, feeling and connection. It was one of the best, most thoughtful conversations I’ve had. I was majorly impressed, and very pleased/relieved with the outcome…
Of course, I now am impatient. 
I want an answer - now! I’m so silly sometimes.
I was wearing 200mcg p74, 25mcg p86.
I cannot even describe how much I LOVE p86. I sprayed the one spray, and all my stress vanished. I was physically relaxed, smiling, grooving, basking in the sun. I was smooth and content. And I was stuck in LA traffic. Thats some powerful stuff.
I didn’t eve have betanol on! Although, betanol sent me on a trip last weekend, so I was happy to avoid it. We got to “truth” without it, quite fine.
Just after this, I was sent straight back into the fray with this whole thing again.
yesterday was insane - but cathartic.
TL -
Omg! I’m sorry — I know two of those Blackberry buzzes were me. embarassed face I’m glad I did eventually get a hold of you, because you are simply amazing.
Haha. omg, how romantic.
hand to forehead “Looks like I don’t have a jacket!” le sigh!
“Here ya go, Little Lady. Here’s my warm, very manly smelling jacket to put over you.”
/perfect romance novel scene.
PS - Hi Tex! You DID do this, didn’t you?
Teehee.. I’ve been there before. Like a lot of people. I guess that’s an extension of the “fear of rejection”, which is easily dislodged when you focus on your inner Dory (blue fish from Finding Nemo) and “keep on swimming” ie: push forward!
Though it wasn’t quite a “DTR” talk, I had an experience like this with something equally as important to me last night. I had such anxiety breaking the call-barrier with Diane, (then later, you), and I started to psyche myself out, entering the negative-thought-fantasy zone. “Oh, she’s composed and intellectual, and can run an intellectual marathon-of-sorts around me and turn me into a dumbfounded stutter-tornado.”
In reality, the other parties I talked to yesterday ended up being the elevated types of intellectuals: judgement/superiority doesn’t even enter their minds and cloud the efficincy of their thoughts, because their mind is too open to other, grander possibilities. I love that. I have to remember that about people. Too much pre-focus on petty stuff (especially self-created petty stuff!) distracts people from normal, positive, elevated communication.
That’s great. I know the “waiting” part can be a little bit nerve-wrecking, but playing it by ear and taking it slow is often the best approach with someone you really really like.
Shoot, you were in heavy conversation-mode last night, huh?
Heck yes! I’m going to earmark this mix for next week. What would you call it? Instant Propranylol? raises eyebrow
… YEP. That’s a juice I need. Amy, did you hear that? We’re gonna cut and print this one next week! TL, I’m going to send you a gift cert for the inspiration.
Hi Jasmin,
Thanks for stopping by.
Yes, yesterday was insane. Utterly insane. The conversation with you happened just after Tex and I said goodnight. He walked me to my car, we kissed, I shut the door, picked up my blackberry, and hit the convo again. That phone call I got right in the middle of our conversation? It was Tex, wondering if I made it out of the parking garage alright, since I “seemed to be busy with something and didn’t leave right away…”
You were exceptionally pleasant to talk with as well. I had a good time on the phone with you.
Thank you for the certificate and liking the mix. I’ve stumbled into a few interesting ones, some large, some small. Some duds. I firmly believe that P86 is a magical 'mone. There is some indefinable quality about it that transports people to a bubble of serenity and calm peacefulness. The mix wasn’t so much about “Instant Truth Serum” as it was about “Instant Harmony,” or maybe “Instant Understanding with a Smile.”
Thank you again. It is a pleasure to work with you. I look forward to interacting with you much more.
Just looking around the forum and I came across your fabulous journal. This post reminded me of all the fun I had with the pheros here. It has been awhile since I have done some good testing (a phero-hating ex boyfriend, didnt help). Looks like I am going to have to ease myself back into testing out some goodies that I have set aside…
Thanks Tigerlily, many of your other posts have been breaths of fresh air. Glad that you are around doing your part.
Take care,
CC
Its been a long time since we have seen you. I would really like to know how you have been. Think about coming back.