hmm i was hanging out with my guy friends today (wearing est and cops) and i realized that i can make some pretty obnoxious comments. i mean, i never overdo it to annoy people but i was thinking that maybe i could potentially offend some people if they arent my friends..
so I thought, hm maybe i shoudl get some TAH.. but then i tried those before and TAH never worked on me. as matter of fact, id get into fights with my ex whenever i wear it.
do you guys have any suggestions on what i can use so i can be more cutesy? i know i can be pretty cute when i want to be, my ex thinks that im the cutest person alive but he has told me that he has a problem with how i act in public at times because i come off really domineering and cold at times..
Or you could try to learn to control your behaviour better, to create more congruence. Perhaps it was the lack of congruence between your behaviour and the TAH siggy that made your ex so edgy?
If you met a guy who looked really masculine, but acted coy, girly, kind of gay, you would feel a bit funny too, not?
Remmy when you say “be more cutesy”, I assume you mean as far as personality and speech are concerned…do you want to sound and/or actually be more cutesy? I know you look like a sweet little cupcake, but are you feminine in your behavior? I mean ya don’t act butch or anything…I hope…lol. The way you think you come across/deliver your thoughts/words is obnoxious/harsh? Is that what you mean?
That’s the ticket. You’ve already got it, baby…you answered your own question.
As far as help with the pheromone part…you want to come across softer and sweeter. Well, the obvious choice is TAH. So tell me why doesn’t it work…does it make you feel out of sorts or was it the reaction that TG had to it that didn’t work for you? I assume you’ve done the TAH to the back of the head and it’s still no go. If it’s the fact that it just doesn’t agree with you, that’s a shame 'cause it would certainly help.
Here’s an idea for you. There have been some interesting reports on a couple of putatives that have shown empathetic/connective qualities. That could, perhaps. help in tuning you into the other persons feelings so you’d be a little more careful what you say…and it would give you something interesting to play with.
Here’s a report by Warren on P87/P86 that’s very interesting -
You know what else you should give a try…Instant Female Magic. It might take some of the edge off for you…just a thought.
I have a little theory about congruence here. I think if a phero is a bit more girly than your behaviour, but there is an overlap, you focus the attention on the overlap, your girliest side.
But when there is no overlap, it is hard for a target to connect your signature to your behaviour, you know?
I hope this makes sense. If not maybe I’ll draw something.
o no, i dont act butch or anything like that but some of the guys i know tend to be really.. sexist. and i just attack them verbally whereas the other girls wouldnt. idno, its really not that big of a deal, im not socially awkward or anything like that. hm.. i guess i meant sometimes i take offense to some comments really quickly so when i look back on it, if i held on just for one second, somebody else would’ve said something, u know?
TAH and IS-B dont work on me. i dont know why. i feel weird and out of place and i think i actually get snippier which is what i wanted to avoid when i put it on.
Oh, I really didn’t think you were butch, baby…lol…and I know you’re not socially awkward. I’m much the same way, quick on the trigger, and it’s hard for me to let these type of remarks go. You can say what you feel compelled to say, it’s how you deliever it that’s important. You can still make your point if, as you said, you just need to slow down a sec and think about how you phrase your comments. Frankly, if you wait for somebody else to say something, you might have a long wait.
If it doesn’t work, well, it doesn’t work! I understand that. I can get rather..erm…snippy ma self with a spray too much of IS/A.
Instant Female Magic makes me feel relaxed and in a go along kinda mood. If I know I’m going to be around people who stress me out or are difficult, I spritz a couple of good ones right up front so I can huff it. And, believe me, sometimes I inhale deeply.
Amen to that. Remember the art of diplomacy is to be able to tell someone to go to h*** and have them walk away smiling …
Now sometimes you need to conduct what Anakin calls “agressive negotiations” but for the most part if you think about your words for just a second you can get your point across without making others feel like they are being attacked. Because once they feel that way they get very defensive and the quality/effectiveness of communications drop - quickly.
I only mention this as the Mrs. & I have this conversation from time to time …
I agree with bosshank and bella. It’s usually not what you say, but how you say it. If you’re pissed off at sombody…attacking them, being rude, obnoxious, or yelling and screaming will only get you so far. If you want to make an impact… get calm, look them in the eye, and then tell them how you feel. It’s called feminie grace. You’re not being a push over, but you are in control. This really works with men too. As we all know guys tend to clam up when they did something wrong and you let them have it, but if you handle it this way you will have them eatin out of you hands and doing anything to please you. Guys like most people want approval, they want to make you happy. When you’re happy they’re happy.
I think you should give it a chance When I wore it for the first 2 weeks, I wasn’t so happy with it, and I kept thinking about is/a. But as I kept wearing it, the hits were building, and now it’s equivalent as is/a, but ofcourse you seem more softer and cuddlier.
hmm really. i mean, i use it on and off cuz i always get annoyed with it. maybe ill use it consistently for a week or so and see also thanx hun, btw i just sent u a pm back
when you say “be more cutesy”, I assume you mean as far as personality and speech are concerned…do you want to sound and/or actually be more cutesy? I know you look like a sweet little cupcake, but are you feminine in your behavior? I mean ya don’t act butch or anything…I hope…lol. The way you think you come across/deliver your thoughts/words is obnoxious/harsh? Is that what you mean?
You’ve already got it, baby…you answered your own question.
