Rough nights but good pheromones
The last few night I’ve gone out with the following:
2 Sprays of my Chrome Mix
3-4 Drops of A314 (LS Version)
In summary, the last few nights with this pheromone combo, I’ve had the following happen:
- Three woman approached me on the dance floor and started grinding me at various times.
- Several woman stood right in front of me and gave me super strong eye contact
- One woman went home with me
- One woman pulled me out to the dance floor after I cold approached her and she danced salsa with me for over 10 minutes even though I don’t know salsa, can’t really dance, and have no coordintation. She told me that I was a great dancer.
Then she asked for my phone number after that.
- At least a few woman gave me proximity IOIs.
- A few woman started talking non-stop to me after I introduced myself. (This sometimes happens with -None products for me)
- Some women I cold approached were completely put off by me but some were attracted. (Definitely a polarizing mix)
I’m going to stick with this mix for a while. (My other favorite mix is IJ + 2 drops of Andriotics A314 but I stopped using that mix because I was afraid that the essential oils would wear off and I would smell like piss after several hours. I can’t smell -None so I won’t know when others will smell it on me.)
Now for the non-pheromone related stuff…
I’m having a very difficult time approaching lately. I typically will procrastinate for over an hour before I do an approach. Most of the time when I get an IOI I don’t act and by the time I’m ready to approach the window of opportunity is gone so I end up doing a cold approach which has much lower chance of female interest.
I don’t think it’s fear that’s holding me back because rejection doesn’t bother me anymore. Last night a got rejected pretty solidly a couple of times but the joy of actually having went through with the approach far outweighed any negative feelings from being rejected so the rejections were an overall positive experience for me.
I think the problem is that I’m a man of inaction. In my normal day to day life I think about things a lot before I actually do something. For example, I cleaned my fridge yesterday. I went through the following steps.
- Realized that my fridge needed to be cleaned
- Sat there for over 20 minutes thinking about cleaning my fridge.
- Made myself some lunch
- Sat there for another 20 minutes thinking about cleaning my fridge.
- Got up and cleaned my fridge.
I follow a similar pattern with almost everything I do in my life including going to the gym, playing a computer game, taking a walk in central park, etc… Everyone once in a while I will get in a mood where I act quickly but that is not my usual default behavior.
So, here’s my pattern when I get a strong IOI from a woman.
- Woman gives me a strong IOI
- I think to myself, wow, that is an IOI
- I ponder approaching the girl who gave me the IOI
- The girl who gave me the IOI leaves the area I’m in while I’m pondering.
- I think to myself that I should have approached the girl who gave me the IOI.
- After several minutes (sometimes hours) of pondering I will do a cold approach on a girl who didn’t give me an IOI. Sometimes I will get good results and sometimes I don’t.
When I decide I’m going to do a crash and burn session it’s a similar scenario. I’ll procrastinate and ponder for hours before I finally do a cold approach. It’s easy for me to think but hard for me to take action.
I found an article on the internet about this concept by a self-described player and playboy named Franco. Here is what he says:
Uptime & Downtime.
Your Brain can shift between two states: Uptime is when you are all the time in touch by using your senses with the outer world. Downtime is when you think, when you withdraw into your inner world. For example while I am writing this I go into Downtime.
While having for sure the important meaning of having you to focus on creativeness, scientific and philosophical thinking, task solving and so on staying too much in downtime is bad and it increases your neediness.
The reason is that the more you stay in Downtime the more you tend to withdraw from social contacts. Withdrawing from social contacts slowly increases the Brain’s need to have rapport, contact with other people and makes you needy.
I think what is happening to me is that I get stuck in an analytical downtime mental state where I’m more in touch with my inner world and less in touch with the outer world. This sometimes happens even when I go out with friends since downtime is so much more natural for me than uptime.
I usually go to bars/clubs alone and this happens a lot when I’m out. Sometimes I’ll switch into an uptime mode and then have very good interactions with woman like I did on Friday. But most of the time when I was out Saturday or Sunday I was is a downtime mode.
This is why I like dancing by myself when I’m out. I’ll listen to the music and start dancing. When I do this I withdraw into my inner world and I really enjoy that since it’s my natural state. I’ll spend a couple of hours dancing and I’ll really enjoy the experience but I won’t meet anyone while doing this. When I dance like this women will give me IOIs but I won’t approach because I’m in a downtime state and my brain doesn’t want to leave that pleasurable state and interact in the outside world.
Sometimes I’ll be on the dance floor by myself dancing and really enjoying the music. Then I’ll start daydreaming which is sometimes like a drug for me. I’ll be completely unaware of everyone and everything around me. Then when I snap back to reality I’ll notice that I’m surrounded by women and getting IOIs. But in this state I’ll never act on the IOIs because I’m in such an introverted mood that I can’t act.
I learned how to dance in clubs from a youtube video about 5 months ago and I’ve done a lot of dancing (with very little skill) on the dance floor. But this is not an effective strategy to meet women. In all the hours I’ve been dancing I’ve only had two makeouts with women I met on the dance floor. In the time period I’ve kissed more woman than that I met while standing at the bar alone staring into space.
I’ve gotten countless IOIs on the dance floor and I’ve been approached by several women on the dance floor in a non-verbal way. Women will often come up with me and attempt to dance with me or grind me. The problem is that I don’t know what the fuck to do. I’m too uncoordinated to dance with a woman and I’m out of sync. I don’t know if I should say something to her or not. When the woman realizes I’m confused she moves on. The only two times I actually made out with women I met on the dance floor was when the woman grabbed on to me and held me so tightly that it wasn’t really dancing any more so it was kind of impossible to be out of sync.
I’ve been approached by far fewer women while standing at the bar staring into space but I’ve had more makeouts from that. It’s easier to talk to a woman that approached at the bar than it is to dance with a women who approaches on the dance floor when you don’t know how to dance.
So if my goal is to wait to get approached then it would be a more effective strategy to just stand at the bar hours on end than it is to dance on the dance floor for hours. But neither of these strategies are really that good. I have to get myself into an “uptime” mood rather than my natural “downtime” mood that I’m usually in.
To get to the next level of my goal to be amazing with women, I really have to find a method to get into an uptime mood more often. All this time I’ve been wasting when I’ve been out in a downtime mood is ridiculous. I think I need some sort of ritual that I follow before I go out to get my brain to switch states.
I just found an article by a guy named Eric Disco that has the following ideas about warming up.
In weekend workshops whenever we take guys out to meet women, during the day or at night, we always have them do warm-ups.
“We’re not going into the club until you ask five different people for directions,” we tell them.
Warm-ups are just interacting with people before you actually commit to an approach. It involves interacting with people in your environment in some way.
Simply asking directions or the time will suffice.
…
But the purpose of warm-ups is not to get a good reaction from people. They are to get you from being in your head to being in a social mode.
Your mind and body are in a completly different state, Glenn explains.
“When you’re ‘in your head’ you’re in your own world,” he says “All you’re doing is hearing yourself think. You’re thinking about stuff that hasn’t happened or that has already happened. Just talking to people helps you to be in the present moment.”
…
I always do warm-ups. And I make sure I attach nothing to the outcome.
I do banter with women. But a lot of times I don’t banter with women when I do warm-ups.
Why?
I want to get used to talking to people without trying. I want to get used to interacting with people without any objective in mind other than just to do it.
This article made sense to me. I live a very introverted life. I’ll sit in front of the computer for several days without any real face to face interactions with people. So, I’m in a super downtime mode. Then I’ll go into a bar/club alone on a Friday night and expect myself to all of a sudden be able to talk to women and socialize with people. But my brain doesn’t switch gears that fast. Then I’ll just stand there like an idiot while a woman will give me an IOI and then walk away when I don’t act. I wonder what the women think when they come across me and I act like this. 
Wow, writing this posting was very therapeutic for me. The following is the ritual that I’m going to follow with women. I’ve been trying to be completely natural with women without using any canned material or routines of any kind. But for the sole purpose of getting warmed up and switching my brain from downtime mode to an uptime mode, I’m going to use some canned stuff.
Warmup Ritual
Step 1. Ask 5 random women for directions, thank them, and continue on my way.
Step 2. Give 5 random women a complement on something they are wearing then continue on my way.
Step 3. Do 5 cold approaches with a canned opener and move on my way.
This is 15 interactions with women which will hopefully be enough to switch over to an uptime mental state where I can then just naturally socialize with women after that.
