Hi jchirsch 
Here are a couple posts that may help you out.
Hang in there, I wish you the best. 
Bella
OMG…what she told you about being overpowered that you’re always ON is EXACTLY what I used to think about my husband too. I don’t know how many times I asked to just be cuddled with (and seriously meant it) but EVERY TIME he got turned on and I was thinking to myself…I NEED MORE THAN JUST GOOD SEX!! {Poor guy 
} I need cuddles, and back rubs, and for him to actually talk to me about more than just the weather. I even convinced myself that the only reason why he touched me was to have sex! LOL! How twisted is that?! Those stupid thoughts stemmed from a lot of other problems we were having and seemed to just take over my mind every time I crawled into bed, that is, until I had my epiphany, as I explained earlier. Besides that, I’ve resigned myself to the fact that my husband does NOT have a romantic bone in his body, nor is he a “cuddly” kind of guy. It’s just the way he is, and I’m ok with that, now I am anyways! And, if pheros can help change that, even just a little, then GREAT!
Are you able to “restrain” yourself sometimes in order to build your wife’s confidence up that you are interested in her more than just for having sex? I know, and YOU know that you are interested in her for more than just that, but she may not FEEL that when she’s obviously obsessed in her mind with other things in life (family, work, sleep, etc). I know that’s no where near as much fun as having sex all the time, but I think if you help her work some of that stuff out, she’ll come around. Maybe try to keep using Instant Honesty and Instant Openess, on both of you, and maybe she’ll open up and start talking more about what’s bothering her and what she would like from you. Maybe her expectations and yours are not even in the same book, let alone the same chapter. If she feels more open towards you with regards to the rest of life, the sex life will naturally follow. Of course, Turn Up The Heat may shove it to the front of the line 
, but I think there are still more underlying issues with her. Women tend to make things WAAAAYYY more complicated than they really need to be, especially if she’s the serious, responsible type person that she seems to be.
Maybe even a little Instant Female Magic would work wonders on her and get her to loosen up a little. Spaceland, maybe? I haven’t used either of these products, but some of the reports I’ve read about them may help give you the results you’re looking for. Some of the more experience users should be able to tell you if this is good advice or not.
~~River
Good observations River and thanks for sharing from a woman’s perspective - especially one who has been there …
Guys - take good note …
That is the difficult part… The vicious circle as I call it… The less you get the more you want. Living in almost a constant state of frustration doesn’t make one really open to just back rubbing …
Anyway, we already had this discussion my wife and I, we both acknowledge that the sex together is mind blowing, and SHE pointed out that whilst she loves it, there was a lot of things in her head that were preventing her from letting go in my embrace… She wanted me to make her DESIRE me… (I don’t know if this is clear)…
I don’t think we have a real communication problem, we are able to exchange on our feelings and expectations, but I feel that her lack of desire and my frustrations mixed together are a big stumbling block. My thinking is that if I can be sexually satiated, I won’t have so much problems to be just cuddly, give her a full body massage and kiss her good night without second thought (or at least not too many…)
I was seriosuly considering this after a first trial run of TUTH… as there is also a recurring monthly bad mood problem that can’t even be mentionned in her presence and that I would like to take care of 
… I have read in some post that one of the interesting effects of IFM was how it eases PMS…
But once again, thank you VERY much River your advice is worth a lot to me!
JC
Very interesting reading Bella…
Dpending on the results I get from first few experiments I may try and experiments with the mixes you are talking about…
Cheers
JC
Did she give you specific ideas on how to accomplish that? Sometimes women just expect a guy to figure it out on their own but you can drive in circles for only so long. Sometimes you just have to ask for directions I can’t wait to hear how the TUTH works on her. It did wonders for me!!! However, she’s got to be willing to get “close enough” with you to want to give it a try. Pheros will only work so far, the rest is up to you and her!
I’m curious…is she on birth control and how long has she been on it? Does she take pills or wear a patch? And if it’s pills, do you know if they are all the same color, or is each week a different color? I know this may seem like an odd question, but some pills have the same horomone content throughout the month and the multi-colored ones are a step-up regimen that increases the amount of horomones as the month progresses, instead of all at once. The step-up kind help “smooth out” the ups and downs of hormone levels because of the gradual increase in dosage. I would definitely suggest trying the Instant Female Magic for women. It even comes in a TOGO which would be pretty cheap to try out.
Ohhh! I LOVE those!!! (deep sigh)
“She wanted me to make her DESIRE me”
- now that’s just been buggin’ me this whole post 
…does SHE think SHE’s sexy and desirable? I mean really, truly, deep down. It sounds like you’ve been doing your damnest to let her know you desire her, but if she doesn’t FEEL that she is, that could be inhibiting her. I just can not imagine that if you are feeling DAMNED SEXY and she’s feeling DAMNED SEXY that an explosion wouldn’t occur There does have to be at least a LITTLE effort on her part…
~~River
Bella & Boss–wow! thanks for the reps! I’m just hoping JC & his wife can figure it out and get ON with it <wink><wink> As for sharing my experiences, I’ve screwed up enough in my life…I’m just hoping someone else can learn from it faster than I did! LOL!
She didn’t really say how… She gave some clues (little attentions, being nice, that sort of generalistic things…)
As to me asking directions, I am doing it all the time, but I suspect she doesn’t where to go either.
That is my fear… (You’ll need to have a look at NIGHT 2 of my journal when I have time to put it in) She doesn’t seem to be able to let go of her work related stress or problems once she is at home, and she’ll start asking questions on deep subjects in the middle of cuddle… her mind is racing at a zillion mph…
Nope,she stopped the pill more than 7 yrs ago, and we have been using condoms since then (Economically it makes sense considering the frequency with which we are using them…)
I still want to have a proper try of Turn Up The Heat before going into more expenses: I live in the UK and having the thing delivered here is costing me $30… It makes no sense to order just a TOGO of Instant Female Magic… (If the experience with IS and Turn Up The Heat is good, I may order some Instant Female Magic, P83 (it looks like fun) and why not some Ammo…
You may be touching something here… I am always feeling she is restraining herself and very seldomly ‘go wild’… Could it be a kind of ‘self esteem’ problem ???
As usual, nice tallking to you river…