Wrlpr-whatever-your-name-is -
I’ve had very similar thoughts.
i think I naturally produce whatever TAL is to a high high degree. “intimidating” is most often used to describe me. 
If Mharris ever needs a new source of TAL, he can come and squeeze my dandruff, or whatever he does to get this magic juice.
When i wear TAH, I dont come across as meek or soft, or feel softer - i get the “falling in love” peace, serenity, happiness vibe. With my TG at least, it’s been very very respectful. I am leading a new business partnership we have, and he’s been awesome and respectful through the whole thing. There was no steam rolling or anything. Going back over my notes, when I wore IS/a around him, i was partially avoided.
i think you are spot on with the situational incongruence with Lor at the bar though.
Diane is exactly right too though - expecting everyone to act the same and respond the same is ridiculous. I can say my TG is behaving great with TAH and treating me respectfully, but other guys are not, so how do i fix it so ALL guys treat me awesomely - it just wont work, no matter how much I want it to.
The best I can do is work with myself, trying to get a congruent mix to where i feel the awesome vibes from TAH, but still project enough of me to “take no shit” - be only a little intimidating. 
I really liked your bringing out that it’s men interacting “softer” with women. I think that goes back to Lor’s point on people’s concepts of femininity, and their reactions toward that. most of the time, it’s awesome - sometimes, it’s disrespectful. I guess the bottom line - that is not our problem. it’s their problem.
That was a really awesome post and I loved reading. I love getting guys perspectives, and yours is really awesome and valuable. Thanks.