..with a married guy. We have been friends for years and I’ve known him since before he met his wife. THIS IS NOT AN EXCUSE - just back story. Anyway, there has always been sexual tension between us, and I know this is somewhat messed up, but I have tested certain pheros on him to see how he’ll react. I have done this strictly for kicks because the flirtation has always been very mild and to be very honest, I really didn’t think any combination of pheromones would ever alter our interactions in any truly significant way.
Well. I slathered on a few. I don’t remember what all of them were, but one was definitely ---------. And to be clear, I don’t in any way shape or form hold the pheros responsible for the way I chose to act. But if the “Me on steroids” phrase ever rang true, it most certainly did that night.
I had on the pheros and we hung out for a few hours in a semi-small room (my apartment), so there were no breezes blowing them off of me, no heat causing them to evaporate… just the two of us in small space, inhaling a bunch of pheros.
Before I knew it, he was telling me how beautiful I was and how he loved my skin and that I’m amazing and how I was his best friend and a whole bunch of other mess. His flattery alone would’ve been sufficiently intoxicating. He moved closer to me and then he kissed me. And then we kissed for awhile. And we went to my room and kissed there and lost some clothes. Then I said I couldn’t do it. So we didn’t. But he slept over - JUST slept. Then he left the next morning.
So it could have been that the tension has been on its way to boiling over and it was just a matter of time… but I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the night it did, I was wearing a bunch of pheromones and sitting in close proximity to this guy who basically began acting like he’d been given a truth serum. Also, for his part, the kissing wasn’t gentle. It was as though he was trying to devour me. It was rough and urgent and greedy almost. I don’t know if that description makes any sense, but that’s how it felt. Like I was being consumed. I’ve got bruises on my neck and chest and yeah. It hurt.
It was like a movie. Like a really sad, embarrassing movie where nobody actually gets laid, they just make out and fall asleep.
I used a phero’d fragrance from another company, and EoW, and I think TAL. So there was very definitely Alpha-Androstenol and Estratetraenol. I put on a bunch just to see what it would do. Not very scientific of me, but yeah.
Well, then I am not surprised that he kissed you so hard. the EOW has done its work. You applied EOW which is EXTREMELY sexual. What were your intentions? did you want to play him or test him or seduce him?
I wish EOW did this for me too, but I have never used it on a one to one personal occasion.
He’s an old friend of mine and we’d had a mild flirtation for years. Outside of work, I don’t take pheros many places, so I put a bunch on when he came over just to see what they’d do - if anything. I wasn’t trying to seduce him. I just wanted to see what effect they’d have. Testing for curiosity’s sake, I guess. It was unwise.
Just to reiterate - the only reason I did this was to see what it would do. The reason I’m stating that over again is because I knew I would be wearing the pheros in a one-on-one situation, in a small space, with a member of the opposite sex whom I trusted. I figured that if the pheros were to have any effect whatsoever, it’s in precisely this environment where the effects would be most pronounced.
Anyway, do learn from my mistakes and poor judgement. I slathered on the pheros to see what they’d do in a controlled setting, and they worked. They were much more effective than I thought they’d be.
Well now you know what they do. We all make mistakes and they really are not as important as the lessons we learn from them.
That pain you feel is called regret and guilt. It can feel crushing and all consuming. Take a deep breath, you dodged a bullet, shake it off and move on.
Be more careful and responsible with your mones. Those feelings were there already for both of you the mones didnt create them but using EOW and EST around him is like asking a recovering alcoholic to hold your drink for you.
Thanks for not giving me a verbal ass-kicking because I totally feel like I deserve one. I will just say that the amount of stuff I didn’t think about when trying this out was scary and stupid.
Always keep the intended purpose of the pheromones in mind. The way I used them was irresponsible.
Coming from a married guy - do not beat yourself up too much - he knew where the line was and he knew he was crossing it. Like you indicated and Tisha said, there was obviously some attraction there in addition to the friendship. Pheros cannot make you do something you do not want to do but they can bring out what was there.
This was a big lesson. I know you are friends but I would hesitate to have him back to your apartment any time soon, especially until you have a good talk in some neutral setting and sort things out. As in this cannot happen again.
Another thing to remember for the future is that these products affect everyone as you have seen. Msselva wrote how she would throw on some pretty strong pheros sometimes and then catch the bus to school. And be approached by some odd strangers on the bus. I think we have discussed this before on the boards but people with low social filters can react quite strongly to these products.
After some experimentation, nowadays I use heavy 'none mixes pretty much just around my wife. But even then when we go out other women react to it and I have gotten some aggressive behavior from other women right in front of my wife. For the life of me I do not understand people who say they “see nothing” using these products. They have either not hit on the right dosing or just do not pick up social cues.
Just to fill everyone in, we had a talk at a restaurant. I went phero-less, and he made comments about how detached I was and how awkward things were. It bothered me a bit at first because he was coming down on me pretty hard for pushing him away or seeming changed, but it was necessary and now I’m no longer worried about it. In retrospect, it feels kind of like that scene in Pretty in Pink where Duckie says he’s not gonna ride his bicycle by Andie’s house anymore.
I see where you’re coming from, but we’ve been friends for years. Years longer than he has known his wife. He’s not just a married man and I’m not just some single girl, we’re two good friends who have known each other for years. There’s a history there and it’s not fair to dispose of it because one or the other of us is in a relationship.
I think it’d be different if he were some random married guy I met at a bar. But I don’t think it’s right to trash a friendship once you’re in a relationship. Not saying he shouldn’t have shown more respect to his wife - I should have, too.
But I’ve already been in a relationship where I had to give up all my friends to make a guy comfortable, and when we broke up I was all alone. I lost GOOD friends trying to accommodate his insecurities and regret it everyday.
^at the end of it all this situation caused what? for you to nearly sleep with a married man err married “friend”. That’s my point. I dont beieve I said do a way with him or the friendship but things are supposed to change..else we have situations like this happen. at the end of the day you knowingly used pheromones around a married man.
I dont believe in “friendships” where people act like things are still the same. it’s not. IF aything you should be friends with him AND his wife now..not one word was mentioned of her aside from “I knew him first!”
I was engaged almost 2 years ago before my SO died of cancer so excuse me for not faking sympathy like everyone else. Im not trying to make you feel and Im sure you dont go around looking to ruin marriages, Im just sharing my own thoughts on the issue.
You know what you’re right. Things should’ve changed and if they had, maybe the whole situation wouldn’t have happened. I used the pheromones irresponsibly, but like some others have said, the pheromones didn’t create the attraction. And I have thought about his wife, hence all the guilt that has come along with this messed up situation. I didn’t post about it to get sympathy, fake or otherwise, but to tell what happened that night under those circumstances and get some insight.
I don’t think you were trying to make me feel bad, but then I don’t need other people to make me feel bad about it, I already do on my own.
Share your thoughts, they are all completely welcome.
And I am also really sorry to hear about your SO, I lost my grandfather to lung cancer, but I can’t even imagine how difficult it must be to lose your fiancee.
I dont think you have been irresponsible exactly. We start out using mones not sure what to expect and once you get them working for you something occurs thats sort of a turning point when you realize the power of these things. We all have set boundaries we have established over the years on how we behave and how we deal with others. After pheromones you sometimes have to reset your boundaries a little stronger thats all.
Sometimes you have to do this more then once. Believe me look up my post on the “mall incident”. Even vets screw up sometimes.
Thanks, it was hard pretty much losing the love of my life..I still wonder if I’ll ever feel the same way for anyone the way I did for him..I’m trying to put myself out there again so Im back on the board reading up on pheros…we’ll see.
and yea I see the attraction was always there..I saw your update, hopefully he’ll understand why things NEED to be different between you two. I assume he remembers all that happened?
did you want to play him or test him or seduce him?
