Haven’t been testing crazy but have seen the ex twice.. We never see each other without an excuse and after every time i see her i feel terrible for about a week.. But she had made me the most amazing tailored garment seeing her is worth it for that alone…. I wore an a314, ammo, p96, IS combo round her and we seem to be on good terms. We had a nice day together walked the dog and went for food. she kept saying there was something different about me and she had to stop herself from saying she wanted to go out for drinks with me. We spent a nice day together parted on good terms with long hugs… Next time i saw her to pick it up it was a more rushed affair…. i was wearing a314, TUTH 5mcg, p83 25mcg, p96 25 mcg, IH, shine… I think this mix pushed her enone tolerance but i managed to diffuse it with a smile… She has noticeably been a bit more tactile with me but I am not taking that as she is interested again… I don’t know what i’m doing wasting these fancy pheros on a women who can’t make me happy and is leaving to live in another country soon…. This women has taken a grip on me for life and i know i will never properly let go… That is my main problem and i am aware of it, a fear of losing people that i love. Its all stemmed from people dying in my life, i just can’t let them go….. Here I am fearing losing someone i have already lost… slaps himself…. I will see her again to look after the dog over xmas but after that i believe we have run out of excuses to see each other and i guess it’ll be easier to move on…
Would be nice if i actually got some action to help me through this but i guess maybe i am not quite giving off the right attractive presence yet and my body language is mirroring my poor mental state i’m in. Although saying that, last weekend, went out in landon loadsa trollop everywhere amazing! I was wearing a314 (daytime residue) ammo, p96, p83 and one spray of mx489 lol…. I was actually feeling pretty confident and having a pretty good time… I was getting some sly looks but nothing obvious like mx297.. Got told by a girl to “stop that” as she pointed at my thrusting pelvis on the dance floor.. I had a little dance with her and her friend using only my arms but found myself thrusting again and getting reminded… It was funny in the end and i think they were digging it, but i got dragged off by a mate as we were leaving. It was a night more about catching up with old mates so that was the closest i got to some mild titilation. The bro effect was there but not overbearing or overly chatty which was good….. NB start with smaller less erotic dance moves and escalate as a women become more comfortable with your presence.. or stop pelvic thrusting all together and save in for my lonely bed..
Oh and i popped round to see slovakian girl to pick up my t shirt for a few hours.. I was wearing a314, ammo, p96…. She was doing the lip biting thing again when i was talking to her, there were two other mates there and things were really chatty, almost too much so.. wasn’t even wearing IH or any socials… Anyway i don’t think i fancy her any more… She ended up telling me a story or two she has already told me and i realised she’s just a bit to talkative for my temperament. But her best friend is a bit fuller with a good sarcastic humour, she was a bit more on my level and loved everything i had to say… hmmm i’ll definitely be seeing them again because of friend circles but am in no rush…. And I forgot to get my t shirt again…. Now i’m going to leave it, if she doesn’t contact me she’s either a bitch for tagging me along or a t shirt thief..
well it seems she may be neither a bitch or a t shirt thief….. After ignoring her for a bit she has started to show some interest……. I should bloody hope so after the pherobombs i’ve been chucking at her…
got loadsa great grounds for testing coming up… Going to see ex first, then house party in capital city, then bristol for a few days to see an old friend (apparently has a female house mate snigger snigger), then a good organised funk + soul night down south again (live music + circus performers etc) and finally i’m going to holland see if we can bag us some hip hop honeys at a gig…
just trying to plan my mixes…..
ex mix: 2 x a314 + 1x IH + 1 x p96
house party mix: mx297 + straight enone
funk and soul mix: mx297 + p83
best buddy mix: mx297
hip hop honey mix: 3 x ammo + 3 x p83 + 2 x IO
ok saw the ex and was wearing… 2.5 x a314, 1 x ammo, 25 mcg p96 5 mcg p130
Now we had a really nice day. Mind you it was under pre tense of looking after the dog over xmas but it was clear she was a bit emotional, at one point holding back tears when walking the old routes with the dog. We had a good laugh making lunch together then hung out with my mum and mums bf. She’s expressing more and more doubt each time i see her about her decision to move abroad and feels her need to confide this in me. This is very much intertwined with the reason for our break up.. At one point she caressed my leg in a very affectionate manner in front of my family at the dinner table…. Not sure what that means but i caught her giving me one of her old lovey gazes i used to get…. This is getting really difficult for me as i’m just trying to set myself up for the best from both outcomes. Either we make it back together and things are better than they were before, or she leaves i take over the flat in the heart of trendy town where all the fit birds are and go commando…. I think i could want both but hey what will be will be.. I want someone who wants me. We will continue to see each other before she goes and have arranged to talk, as opposed to meet up for trivial moving out chores. It was actually a really comical day and at one point she said “i haven’t had this much fun in ages” which contrasts well with other comments describing her loneliness and doubts about her decision to start again somewhere else… It would be foolish for me to get my hopes up over this but through history nearly every ex of mine has attempted to get back with me, if one were to pull it off it would be this one. Still the ball is in her court to make things better and to be fair she is still making amendments and improvements for the garment she tailored for me, but that could be all platonic.. I’ll see her in the new year but i’ve run out of a314 and can’t really afford to get the oil atm so might go with an mx297 mix next or order a togo of a314..
Went out to test the hip hop honeys mix 2 x ammo 25 mcg p83 2 x IO
Me and my friend wore the same mix and sat down at a bar.. ABout a dozen middle aged women came and sat with us, they were all too old and unavailable but they were all charmed in no time. They then took us to another bar where we were having a good ol’ boogie… only hits were a couple of young blondes trying to break away from there bfs to dance with us, nothing eventful happened that i could remember but i blame it on the whiskey… got lost and got a very expensive taxi home alone after not accurately describing where i was to my mate….
Went across the country to see and old friend for a few days… Had one of his house mates in awe with an ammo p96 mix partied at my request on the last night…. best hit was at a bar wearing 2 x ammo 1 x mx297 on top of 12.5 mcg of p130 used in the day time. A young girl with red hair sitting alone at the bar opened with me straight away we were talking for a while she said she felt lucky i knew she wanted it and could take her home, BUT i was with long lost old friend and his sister it would have been rude to dump them and go with her, but in hindsight i should have got her to join us and come stay in my mates living room… Was not thinking fast enough if i had the means it was there on a plate…. i reckon it was the mx297 but there must have been residual p130 going on which was getting me a few looks in the day but nothing that noticeable.. Now mx297 has to be my best mix for meeting new people and them feeling comfortable opening with you.. better than straight ammo, but best together.. 2:1 or 1:2 works good for me..
Went to holland for the weekend testing out the hip hop honey mix plus loadsa other pheros on my mates. Everyone we met was nice an cool, got a few looks from some pretty girls in the pool hall but i was FAR too blazed at all times to properly socialise…. should have guessed this one in advance….
I also went to another house party but it was a sausage fest and i hit the hay early, again everyone was cool though…
oh and the funk and soul night was more like folk and gypsy jazz with loadsa stinky hippies so i was smelling great in comparison to everyone else…..me and my mate were both wearing the hip hop honey mix but we weren’t really putting ourselves out there, i was flagging pretty hard…. Although i did see two pre mentioned girls who did the sexy dances to mx297, the one who i had hit with p96 a couple of times approached me with an awe and great attention but didn’t seek anything for the rest of the night. Belly dance bar maid was not behind the bar this time and approached me i took her under my wing until she mentioned her bf again… not a great night really but hey.
Developments on slovakian girl is we are both likely going to the same new years party, which should be ace, but i’m going to ignore her until then…..
also i have tested p102 solo up to 20 mcg and havn’t noticed any self effects or effects on others.
Molecule C saved xmas eve and boxing day.. 10 mcg applied to me and my mums bf diffused two sets of xmas tantrums… It’s a subtle effect which i can only best describe as comfort..
Got my NYE ticket even though i was too late and they sold out a week ago.. smallish venue.. got it wangled on my party rep, a couple of performing heads just knew it wouldn’t be the same if i weren’t there thumping and thrusting…. anyway looks like i’m going bump into slovakian girl there… yay..! i will be the only person there wearing pheros,that i’m aware of, so its pointy shoes, suit, quaker hat and money clip… Gonna nuke em with a mega concoction probably….
2 x ammo chest
2 x mx297 neck
12.5 mcg p83 chest
12.5 mcg p96 face
2 x IO wrists
1 x IH wrists
might drop the putatives and top up using TUTH and molecule C later on, probably will be up all night and realise my buffers and mx297 will wear off and i will be left with around 5 mcg of eNone and eRone on… Might be worth dropping the TUTH top up and just use TAC or p96 and p83…. Either way i don’t see this being a boring night.
mix revision…
2.5-5 mcg TUTH
2 x mx297
1 x IH
12.5 mcg p83
12.5 mcg p96
I’m thinking i am going to end this thread, i feel i have learnt most of what i need to know to keep on experimenting i just don’t feel comfortable anymore expressing my intimate thoughts and feelings online when i have not been in a good mental place. I’ve been cutting myself up over my ex and need to stop obsessing over her with my mixes or anything at all.
Mix above is a good one…
Saw slovakian girl but she had a cold sore and i think nothing is going to happen between us. It was nice to crush on her for a bit but she’s not really what i’m looking for and i think our moment has passed. Her fuller friend, who i also liked, was there and she was taking to me very well. I was into her until instant honesty made her tell me she had just been diagnosed with gum disease, of which i could smell afterwards. Very off putting.. Problem was i hit the whiskey, plus others, very early on and blanked out a good few hours after 12 where i can’t remember much…. I had a decent celebrity vibe people at the end of the night knew me well although i couldn’t remember their names or meeting them… at about 9 in the morning around the round table i got asked about my first love in front of everyone, it was nice people were showing interest in me and everyone was great fun…. I can remember a couple of other girls pretty faces but that’s all..
I think i am going to do more a314 based mixes + mood elevators in the future.. I’m not sure i like carrying the player vibe so much considering i am not a player at at all…
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