Like many others, I think your friend has the wrong impression of pheromones. I’ll be blunt here and say that if she’s concerned about her partner’s fidelity and feels that pheromones are the only way to keep her partner from committing adultery, then I would suggest stepping back and reconsidering the state of their relationship.
You should be able to maintain the relationship sans pheromones. Usually, this happens whether it is intentional or not as pheromones are only a fragment of attraction and thus inevitably targets are attracted to the whole attraction, not just the pheromone enhanced fragment. (Did that make sense?)
Morality or philosophy aside, then it’s an equally complicated question of how to apply said pheromones.
Would you inform him of the purpose and intended effects of the pheromones? The pheromones might not have the effect you want, but there is absolutely no doubt that revealing your intentions (and honestly, if he’s a legitmate man, might even been hurt that you would go about your suspicions in such a clandestine manner) would create tension, as you are essentially coming to the conclusion that you cannot trust him.
Or, somehow your friend finds a way to apply those pheromones every day without her husband noticing the smell, let alone the change in behavior. Is she willing to commit herself to applying these pheromones behind her husband’s back for the rest of her life? I think it’s safe to say that your friend’s wellbeing will be negatively impacted by having to deal with the stress of applying pheromones and keeping the secret and hiding every day and night.
Maybe she plans to continue this until he loses his sex drive? That still doesn’t guarantee fidelity. Ultimately, relationships fail not always because one or both parties are intentionally acting maliciously, but because one or both parties are being unfulfilled and can’t communicate that to their partner.
AND
If the chemistry is indeed there, then why is your friend concerned about her husband having an affair? I would not recommend any pheromones for this situation, even if there were applicable pheromones, as I believe that a far more effective situation would be to just sit down and talk like two adults. If the chemistry is there and they both truly value each other, then sitting down to talk about their relationship should be possible. It’s not easy, even on the best of terms, because our worst enemies will always be ourselves. The hardest part of having a conversation like that will be admitting your fears, admitting to yourselves that the trust isn’t as solid as was once thought. After that, taking steps to reinforce the trust is relatively easy.
Finally, let’s say that the pheromones work and he stays faithful. Is your friend willing to risk living in a dead relationship for the rest of her life? Wouldn’t she rather leave the guy she doesn’t trust to find a new, more fulfilling relationship?
I for one wouldn’t want to be in a situation where I can’t trust my wife, while ensuring her fidelity through the use of external influences. I’d rather just let her live her life, I’ll be hurt, but it’s certainly better than knowing I wasted my life with someone who didn’t even want to be there.
Perhaps I’m coming from an extreme. I’ve been the guy she couldn’t trust before. I’m certain some of this happened because of my inexperience, but at the time, I felt that if you’re going to say you trust me, then trust me. If you’re gonna rep me, rep me right. I do the same for my girls. If anyone becomes close enough to me where I value their trust, I will never let that trust dissolve until I see it for myself. Otherwise, what’s the value of my word? There’s no value in me saying to someone that I trust them, if I’m only going to doubt them later down the line.
Ironically, that same girl ended up cheating on me (although I think she’ll claim that under the circumstances it wasn’t her fault). So, now I know. If you can’t trust someone, it’s sometimes because you can’t trust yourself. Because they know firsthand how quickly loyalties can change.
Tell your friend to work it out with her husband through communication. I don’t know her husband, but I don’t think he’ll be mad if your friend shares her feelings about trust. Then, when their relationship is going strong, tell her to come back and we’ll give her all the help she wants spicing up that relationship of hers.
He doesn’t need to know for you to enjoy it, or even him to enjoy it. You feeling better about yourself benefits him as well, so I don’t think he’d really object to it. I can understand how he might be upset about spending money (