I DO NOT HAVE BUT TWO FRIENDS. PEOPLE ARE NOT ATTRACTED TO ME FOR SOME REASON OR THE OTHER. I DON’T KNOW WHY. I HAVE HAD HARD TIMES WITH GUYS. THEY ARE NOT AT ALL ATTRACTED TO ME. I WOULD LIKE FOR SOMEONE TO SHARE A MIX WITH ME THAT I COULD USE TO ATTRACT SOME OF THESE NICE GUYS OUT THERE.
CAN ANYONE SUGGEST ANY PHEROMONE TO USE. I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO INTIMATE AND PERSONAL TIME. I HAVE USE MANY THINGS BEFORE, BUT NOTHING SEEM TO WORK. WILL WAIT FOR YOUR ANSWER. NEED SOMETHING TO ALSO HELP TO CUT DOWN THE STUBBORN BEHAVIOR IN SOME OF THESE YOUNG MEN. THEY WON’T BUDGE WHEN I TRY TO TALK WITH THEM. I MAKE MYSELF FRIENDLY, BUT TO NO AVAIL. HOPE SOMEONE CAN HELP!
lantanafg@aol.com
If you have only two friends, you may be doing something with your behavior that you’re not aware of that is turning people off.
So you are female? How old are you? What kind of things do men say to you?
Good Morning, Mr. Harris. How was your day on yesterday? I hope it was nice for you. Wishing you a very nice, and happy day on today. Thanks for responding to my cry for help. My computer crashed on me, and I had a hard time trying to connect, afterwards. Everything seems like it’s back to normal.
If you have only two friends, you may be doing something with your behavior that you’re not aware of that is turning people off.
I read your response, and I asked three people what they thought about me. My attitude, my behavior, my approach to certain matters, etc., One person was a married man that works along with me. And of course my two friends. My friends said, that I was too loving, nice, and shy for my own good. The married man said, he thought that I might have a problem with low self esteem, shyness, giving too much, and not receiving back in return. He often wondered why I still give so much. Overall he shared, that he thought that I was a very nice, and generous human being.
I stand to be corrected, but my personal observation of myself, is close to theirs. I do hope that I am not turning people off unconsciously, by my behavior. If I am. I am not aware of it. But I will be more mindful.
So you are female? How old are you? What kind of things do men say to you**? **
I am over forty. Men look at me as if they are seeing right through me. It’s as if I am standing behind an invisible glass, and they cannot see me. I go out sometimes, and they are other women in the room. They converse, and have a good time. I sit, sometimes I try to mingle. I talk, but none of the men seem to want to be bothered by me. It’s been like this for quite awhile. I am basically a loner. I might say, hello. I sometimes get an answer, and another time I don’t get the decency of an answer. They don’t even know that am there. They do not respond. I know that this might be hard to imagine, but it is true. Younger men walk around me as if there was a dark cloud hanging over me. I hope that I am not sounding as if I am feeling sorry for myself. I am just a little tired of not being able to meet someone nice.
Do you have any suggestion at all as to what I can use in terms of Pheromones. I have tried other things out there, but nothing seemed to work. I have used: (Edge, androstenone-pheromone-concentrate-for-women, Lure, Euphoria, Max Pheromone, Alter Ego, Primal Instinct , Come talk to me, Passion, and some others I cannot recall at this time. I need something that can work for me. Something strong, and effective. You are the expert what do you think? Thanks for any suggestion you can give.
There is “Instant Sexiness”, which seems to be a hit among the ladies and also “Lust After Me”, which is a copulin based product that tends to make men horny around you..
Friends typically won’t tell you everything, but from what they have said, these are behaviors which can make you get passed over.
Typical women who succeed socially generally aren’t so nice. They pull back a lot to make others chase them. (we tend to chase whatever makes itself known to us, then “leaves” in one way or another)
I hate to recommend “game playing” at all, but a little can go a long way. The way women flirt and play hard to get has served them throughout history, otherwise they wouldn’t be using these behaviors today.
Sometimes you have to give people what they expect and do “ordinary things”, for them to be able to connect with you at all.
If you have insurance, the thing to do is see a behavioural psychologist a few times.
This is a type of psychologist (not a psychiatrist – he won’t give you drugs, and you should generally stay away from those who mention drugs) who can help you socially integrate better.
You may have to see a few to find one you like. Don’t be afraid to reject psychologists – not all of them are good or useful. In fact, if they start recommending drugs, they’re a bad one – run fromthose.
But a good behavioral psychologist can be invaluable… they’ll notice things about you can’t and your friends won’t, and can really help you make some changes so you can connect better.
**
I understand.
Once you’ve gotten what you’ve got for awhile, you may actually have somewhat of a “dark cloud” hanging over you. You come to expect the worst, and this expectation helps extend the past into the future.
This may sound superficial, but I’ve seen this work for women… have you ever done a complete makeover?
I’ve had female friends who seemed to have a dark cloud over them, go in and get at least pat of a new wardrobe, a skin peel, new makeup and some other changes, and they ACT totally differently.
This doesn’t work so well for men. I can get a new suit and new hairstyle, and act almost the same as I used to… Sure I feel a LITTLE better, but with women… wow… outside changes are often powerful for internal states.
I might recommend something like the following:
** Go to an esthetician and get a strong peel, like a TCA peel. Because it’s strong, you’ll need to wear sunscreen for awhile and you may even feel like hiding for a few days when it really starts to peel, but in two weeks, your face should look about 10 years younger. This has long lasting effects and does wonders for a woman’s self esteem
** Get a nice new hairstyle, eyebrow tweezing (use the guidelines at damoneroberts.com), the whole thing. Again, wonders for the self esteem, but not as long lasting as a strong peel
** Go to a good makeup counter that includes lessons or a makeover with a decent sized purchase, like Mac. Try something DIFFERENT from whatever you do now, that’s the key. Make it 50% to your preferences you’re comfortable with, and the other half something new.
** Get at least a few nice dresses which are appealing, and DIFFERENT from what you’re used to. No black cloud stuff. Then go to a decent tailor you can afford and have them fit properly – it’s FIT that does all the magic with clothing
** Get a little cocky. I’ve noticed the above make women very cocky naturally, so that’s why I recommend all that.
I prefer Instant Sexiness on a woman. It took several years to slowly piece together that formula.
Also, I think I’ve heard you have TAL, don’t you? That tends to make women feel more confident. Try 10 to 20mcg AROUND your neck.
That’s a good place too wear the Instant Sexiness, too. Around your neck, so it affects YOU, too.
You’ve already tried Instant Sexiness and TAL, though, right? If so, I think mostly it has to do with your overall presence in ways beyond the pheromonal.
Can pheromones help? Sure they can, especially because you’re over 40. But if you’ve already tried something powerful like Instant Sexiness, I don’t think that’s the complete picture here and you’d do well to look at other areas, too.
I’d also recomend you take a small amount of DHEA, to increase your own hormone levels (and thus pheromones levels). Maybe 10mg a day.
If you don’t already exercise, this is essential. It’ll also make you feel like a million bucks. Even a few minutes of exercise a day will make you look better, stand taller, and ACT more powerfully. It’ll give you an enlarged presence.
A good NLP tape or CD set can also help do wonders, at deep levels of your mind, and it’s easy… Something like this is a good place to start:
https://www.nlpstore.com/index.php?action=item&substart=0&id=23
It’s a 6 CD set called “The Personal Enhancement Series”, and I can’t recommend it enough. You listen to that for a good month, and you will see changes in your life. It’s powerful.
You can also call the good folks there at 973-770-3600 and have them recommend something.
As far as pheromones go, when you write back, let me know how Instant Sexiness and experimental pheromone TAL make YOU feel, and I can work from there with pheromone recommendations.
In this case, I think how YOU feel is the important part here.
I think you were ignored for so long (in a real or imagined way), you got used to that, which works against you. What you need to do is break this cycle, and change your expectations. Break the cycle and feel outstanding. Even get a bit of a big head about you.
Instant Sexiness and TAL are pretty much the state of the art, though. Beyond them, there’s only one or two other pheromones I can think of for you.
Non-pheromonally, try watching the TV program “10 Years Younger” on TLC. There’s lots of practical advice there, and again, outside changes work wonders for women that they don’t for men (I mention this because we have mostly male participants here, and they won’t know what the heck I’m talking about otherwise 
).
The better you feel, the more enchanting (and even addictive) you’ll be to those around you… People who feel good suck others in. And there’s something about a woman who smiles that’s just killer, at any age. A great smile on a woman can change a nation.
Be well
You may want to try online dating…more and more women are signing up for it and are finding that they have options to choose from. You would have to put a pic up though. If your shy and too nice it may help you to be able to get to know someone over a computer. I am not sure if you are going exclusively for young guys or not but I will say that a lot of young guys ((myself included)) tend to have their mind solidly made up as to whether they will become involved with women over a certain age. It has nothing to do with you and your probably being too hard on yourself.
First, I would like to thank all of you. For your suggestions. Mr. Harris. Warm thanks to you for your help.
Mr. Harris, I hope that your expertise does not just lie in the Pheromones Department. You have a lot to offer many. I think maybe, that you should write a column for women, in a prestigious magazine. There is class about you, and that class accompanies your words. Some people would not see what I am talking about clearly, because of your straightforwardness, but class is there. People need your kind of knowledge and sensitivity. Women do!
I will take time to reevaluate myself, and go back to the drawing board once more. I have had people tell me the truth before. Family members, my friends have been very honest with me. At one time or the other. My friend who is like a Father to me. He has really been brutally straightforward with me, especially concerning my plight. Your opinions and suggestions are well taken. And it makes sense.
Cloud 9, thank you for sharing with me. Fire and Ice, thank you for taking the time to respond. Both of you please have a wonderful day on today, and know that you both are precious.
I don’t know when I will write again. But I will one day. Just to let you know how I am doing.
I also want to really thank my friend that suggested that I write to you for myself. He has stood with me through thick and thin. Just like a Father, would a daughter.
I wish all of you a really, really good, and prosperous year.
Again, thank you. Mr. Harris I wish you the best of everything.
thank you, good luck and never give up!!
Yep. Michael actually cares. Even when I’m sure his life is so busy it’s not easy to find the time to help out, he does.
Hi Biagamum,
I might be a little late with my reply, but I hope you still get to read this. Michael was so right on with his advice.
The things that really work for me are:
-
Hair (I spend a fortune on my hair because I go to an excellent and prestigious hairdresser)
-
Working out - I can’t say enough about this one. It will lift your mood tremendously and keep you slim and healthy.
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Clothes - Once you work out and feel happy with the way you look, shopping for clothes becomes sooo much fun!
Good luck!
Aurelie and Harris are totally right on, here.
Work on yourself from the outside-in, and you’ll be feeling real good from the inside-out.
You’d never know what a great haircut and nicely fit clothes can do!! … and pheromones, of course.
Mharris this is directed to you…I would really appreciate it if you were to weigh in on this. I am on a massive self developement quest. I have limited money and I am trying to decide between the Personal Enhancement Series and the Sedona Method right now. I am wondering if you have heard of the sedona method…I cant decide which program would be more helpful overall. Basically if you have not heard of Sedona Method it allows you to let go of or accept any “feeling” or “emotion” that enters into your existance. The idea is that if you get good enough at it you need nothing and control all your thoughts and emotions…sounds kind of God like to me.
Go for the NLP… Richard has good ideas
there is a freaking haystack of crap in the human potential business with the golden needles hidden within… I’ve heard constructive things about Jon Altfeld (mastery insight institute)… very high actual learning to BS ratio, he has three day trainings that are reasonably priced, Richard’s trainings are mondo $$$$, nice selection of learning materials at a fair price though… if you’re interested in a major chunk of work, Altfeld has a five day holographic communication course, public speaking + commumication skills + charisma thats around $1500 down in Tampa area, Richard’s equivalent is about $3,200, maybe more at the last minute. Or for about $2,500 you can go to Tony Robbins Ultimate Power religious experience and be guaranteed front two rows of seating to be juiced by the man himself, or $750 gets you regular stadium seating… Tony should probably be experienced by everyone once to get it out of their system… Tonified people “get it” up to a point and after that they seem a little clueless but if you need a good jolt out of your mindbox maye it would be o.k… Tad James might have some good work on CD, he has a deep trance set that’s being produced right now… Tad does a lot of timeline work, helps some people… is there anyone else smokin’ hot these days ? Maybe MH can toss in his favorite picks of the litter..
Well I am not going to be attending any live seminars anytime soon…the reason is that they are 10 times as expensive as the cds and what more do they really accomplish? I can buy cd sets for 200 bucks and almost get what I would out of a live thing for 2,500 bucks…so I would rather spread 200 bucks over 3 different guru’s with knowledge in different fields and learn 3 times as much for one third the cost. Thank you for your advice though…no doubt I will eventually have so much money that I will just attend the live seminars…however with cd’s you can listen to it over and over till it becomes a part of you. Over the past 6 months I have transformed beyond any coherent and realistic expectation. However I still find that my thoughts and emotions are holding me back from taking a lot of actions that I need to take to penetrate into the type of success that I need to meet the expectations I have for myself. I need someone that can help me to take action despite the feelings and thoughts that prevent it. I have a lot of things like fear anxiety and nervousness…comfort zone and other normal human feelings that are getting in my way and causing me to stay hesitant…I have come a long way but still tend to have these barriers in front of me…holding me back…I need something that is going to get at the core of this and actually eliminate it…I need away to merge my intentions with action. Which one is better for that…if neither is best…what is? My searches have narrowed it to the Sedona Method vs this NLP program…which one…or if neither…what?
This depends on what you want to accomplish
a good seminar is a different animal from a good CD… you can’t make a direct comparison… if there’s a teacher who could help you make the transition you want, and maybe more than you bargained for, the seminar would be cheap in comparison to living with your limitations… I remember a much younger , much crazier, much fatter Richard Bandler who could turn a room inside out… you didn’t know what hit you, why it hit you, or how it hit you… Richard has a CD on Unfearing Decisions, Ferocious Resolve, a good selection of “going for it” materials… we badly need some great new trainers, highly creative types that come out of left field and redefine how the thing is done, like John and Richard did in the first place… my big hang up with the NLP field is that most of it is the same old shit recycled five time over… mundane, timid, conservative, like kids arguing over some stupid word that one of them “invented”… and I want somebody to tell me something I don’t know or couldn’t guess real easy… you might want to give Lloyd Glauberman’s dual induction CDs a spin, they’ve been on the market for ages but the work pretty well for what they are…
Actually what I am into right now is Hypnotica’s dual induction cd…I am listening to programming where I put my headphones on and there are voices speaking different things into each ear. They are expanding my learning capacity and they are helping me with accelerating towards my goals. He also has a cd by the name of “spinx of the imagination” what this cd accomplishes is it talks in riddles so as to confuse the conscious mind while it speaks to the unconscious or subconscious mind directly. Basically what it does is operate much like the army does. It breaks you down to nothing and then builds you back up…in 50 minutes.
Ya, that was “borrowed” from Glauberman
I knew Lloyd years ago, am glad he’s come out with new work after all this time… he is an exceedingly ethical and competent man… one thing, he won’t give you any weird sugestions… try this page:
so try his new Resilience set… psychologists are now calling resilience THE master success trait… why some guys can be rejected 1000 times and hang in there to score on the 1001st, like Sly Stallone…
found this about the Sedona Method
from the net:
"I was involved with the Sedona Method for several years and, honestly, it didn’t really help me very much.
In reading some materials on Scientology, I was struck by the similarity of Hubbard’s tone scale and the scale of emotions used in the Sedona Method. Also the use of repetitive questions in order to “release” problems in the Sedona Method seems to bear some resemblence to auditing. I have been trying to get more background on the Sedona Method to see if Lester Levenson was influenced by EST or Scientology but have not been able to find anything but glowing testimonials on the Internet."