I’ve used this stuff by itself several times. It has a very unique effect on my personality. Makes me a no bullshit kinda guy. It also has this effect that I just don’t care about interpersonal rejection of any sort. “Unrepentant” is the word.. It just takes away the awkwardness, I can sometimes feel when a chick gives me the brush off, insult or bitch shield or whatever. Tends to make them more placating too after the fact. Its really very interesting.
Anyway. I was at this party. I was wearing alot of shit, I thought there’d be girls there. Had on ALOT of shit. I just felt like pheroclouding it. Why not? I’m very familiar with all the things I put on, 301 was the odd man out that day, and sure enough, the same thick skinned no nonsense I don’t give a shit came out that I’m familiar with. These chicks came through late in the night, very reserved girls, friends with the people in the house I was at. Me and a few friends didn’t get hello’s or nothing when they came in, they just said hi to who they know. Not particularly abnormal, but they gave an immediate vibe that they weren’t interested in socializing with us. Not only that, a division suddenly appeared that was not there the whole night, two groups formed in the room, one on one side of the room listening to music, and the other with them and the guys they actually knew playing beer pong. Pretty shitty.
Well anyway, as usually happens in these cases, I’m coaxed into opening. I’m usually the designated asshole. I sure ain’t a PUA. Designated asshole is a much better moniker for the likes of me, tres nonchalant. Thats kinda my job. I talk to strangers about whatever. I can tell my attempt to open will most likely not work. So there’s a certain reticence. They were there to see certain guys in particular, not meet up with me. Thats just the vibe they gave off. I decide to try selling some pot to these girls. I figure why not. Make so money, say hello. As it turned out they don’t smoke.
I get a “go away dude, why would you even ask” vibe. Very awkward silence followed. I say very quickly “Well, alright, whatever. I got pot, I sell it. Thats what I do. I work in a school when the summers not on, but I’m on break and want to make money. Tell me if you change your mind, we’ll roll up.” I feel abnormally persuasive. I also got that in your face fuck you I don’t care what you think thing going. Standoffish though, I wasn’t particularly friendly in any convincing way, but not ‘mean’, and I can be MEAN when a chick gets on the wrong side of me, I don’t take kindly to undeserved disrespect on the best of days. They assured me if they ever wanted pot they’d ask. I was not particularly convinced. I catch a vibe that I was being intrusive somehow. But instead of feeling at all awkward or anything that nothing but silence and weirdness followed this exchange, I notice that I really didn’t give a shit. My mind is clear, topics to talk about flow freely in my head, but I find I’m not interested in making conversation with them, seemed like wasted effort. I was trying to take their money after all, not necessarily hook up with them.
I’m not sure whats going on here. Its as if to me the fact that they’re chicks, hot or not, doesn’t register. But I reciprocate niceness…Not sure what to think about that. I need to work on being nice and kissing ass some more at least on occasion. And I’m not sure 301 is made for me. I wonder whats in it makes me get in a girls face like that. Its like “I’m here. Deal with it, I’m not going anywhere and your opinion doesn’t matter, keep it to yourself.”, or even better, more like “I DARE you to get on my case. I’ll chew you up and make you feel awkward and stupid.” I’ve actually mildly cursed girls out with this stuff. Only for good natural reasons. This girl told me I was gay or something cause I said something not so macho. I told her “What are you fucking stupid or something? Like really, whats wrong with you? Why would you even say something like that, you should feel embarrassed.” She said nothing in retaliation. p93?? I’m not sure whats going on with that.
A friend of mine left me and another friend alone with his girl. Normally I’m the dude that chicks are scared to be alone with. I ain’t the rapist, but, I just ooze that something, like a constant tuth vibe. She said something about being uncomfortable, and at first I teased her and the bf about it before he left “You really gonna leave her alone with me, bad move man”, and reinforced the idea that it was bad to do so by telling him he was a bad boyfriend for doing it, but after he actually left, when I detected she was genuinely uncomfortable I quickly said something fairly uncharacteristic, a genuinely concerned and even enlightened “What are you serious? What kind of person do you think I am? I haven’t been nothing but nice to you, you shouldn’t feel that way at all. I’m not like that don’t know why you think I would be. I was just fucking with you.”
So. 301 for the freak. Unrepentant. Nonchalant. Fiercely defensive but confident, “I’m just standing up for myself”, but at the same time “Here’s some ammo to shoot me with.” I’ll really tell chicks shit a guy probably shouldn’t just to get on their case for taking me seriously or putting me down. Its very interesting, any thoughts about how to turn this into a more positive light?