34 Year Old Nebraska Diva

Introductions - New Users, Say "Hello"!
1

Hello, I’m MsDiva. I’m 34 and from Nebraska. I have never used pheromones before, but am thinking about ordering. I have a TG so let me fill you in…

I met this guy about a year and a half ago. When I first met him It didn’t go so well. I thought he was a stuck up pretty boy. When we were introduced he didn’t even look up from his computer. Six months later I got a lateral promotion and he was promoted to my previous position. We are now on the same team. Let me make this clear…he’s not my boss, I’m not his, dating is allowed since we are on the same level. Come to find out he’s not stuck up at all. He’s extremely shy. At first he wouldn’t make eye contact with me at all and would turn red everytime he talked to me. For the most part that has stopped since he has gotten to know me. We work well together and take a morning break together. I would say their is a lot of energy and chemisty already as four team members have asked if something was going on. I know their is already an attraction their, but it’s very hot and cold and he does sometimes still get nevous talking to me. Whenever somebody asks what’s going on we both back off. So the problems are 1) we work together 2) I’m older, he’s 27. 3) His shyness and nervousness around me.

So please help! I need something to help with his shyness so he calms down and will find me irresistible enough to ask me out. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Diva Diaries
2

Hi MsDiva,

Nice intro! I can’t wait to see how this love story turns out! :wink:

Have you read this thread?

While of course your phero usage isn’t going to change his personality or confidence level, you can use pheros synergistically with encouraging behaviors to try and make it easier for him. IO and IH are 2 tried-and-tested consumer products that make people more comfortable talking with you, and are definitely work-safe. Instant Shine has a youthful uplifting kind of vibe, might help him forget the age difference (not that I consider that difference significant at all!) Instant Sexiness B is something to consider - it’s the softer, less intimidating version (ultimately you may find that’s he’s attracted to more dominant women, opposites attracting and all that … but it might be a good place to start).

I have a feeling you’re already irresistible, though, and it’s his lack of confidence that’s the real barrier. Making it abundantly clear that you’re interested and accepting might be most helpful of all, and with someone as shy as he is, you will probably need to take a lot of the initiative - maybe extend a casual invitation to do something with you that gets him out of the workplace since he’s apparently all too aware of coworkers observing the budding relationship between the two of you.

Good luck and let us know how it goes!

3

well hello MsDiva and welcome to the forums, sounds like you have quite the task ahead of you. i wish (as a guy) that i knew that women were scheming like this behind my back but you have to recognize that if he is shy, the last thing in the world you would want is for him to feel pressured into taking that first step. he very well could be spending quite a bit of his work (and free ) time thinking about you and dreaming up “asking out” scenarios in his head but his shyness is a huge hurdle to both of you.

have you dropped any hints yet? have you tried to make it obvious to him that you are not involved? have you thrown out any open ended invites that would allow him to accept without it feeling like a “date”?

do you know where he spends any of his free time? you may just have to casually bump into him outside of the work environment to get him to jump that hurdle. does he ever mention past relationships? does he live in his mothers basement?

we do have a ladies forum here, i know there are quite a few wicked concoctions circulating amongst the hard core. they might even share a tip or two if you venture over there.

Instant Shine has been shown effective for both males and females but while it isn’t an erotic or attractant type pheromone it does tend to make people feel better or good.

i just bought a girlfriend of mine some instant sexiness , but i have no knowledge of ever being exposed to it before so i can’t report on its effectiveness.

good luck, i’m thinking he’s pretty lucky already just to have someone “pining” over him.

4

Welcome.

I think IH and IO would be great ideas to continue building a stronger rapport. It sounds as if he is already attracted to you and the issue is his shyness. I’d work on that rather than trying to send his hormones into overdrive, which may just cause additional inner conflict for him.

5

Hi! Thank you all so much for your help and words of encourgement. I really appreciate it. To answer some of your questions.

Carrie- I have read What pheromones can do and what they cant Updated I understand that pheromones arn’t magic, but I am hoping they will give him that extra nudge he needs.

Josef- I think I have dropped hints. He knows that I’m not dating anybody. I have thrown out some invites. Their has been multiple times when our team has went for drinks after work. Of course the team is there and well you know. Something else you may need to know… A few months ago my Dad passed away. My Dad was going to put a grill together for me, but passed before he got it done. TG came over to my place and put it together on a Friday night (timing was his idea). He spent three hours at my place on a Friday night putting this together. The next night I was having a BBQ and invited him, but he didn’t come. I don’t know where he hangs out so I can’t causally bump into him. He has said he dated a girl for six years, but I know its been a few years since they broke up. I’m note sure what happened in the relationship though. And NO he doesn’t live with his parents…lol. I’m not usually attracted to that type.

I think I’m going to order these and see how it goes.
Instant Openness
Instant Honesty
Instant Shine
Instant Sexiness

6

Sounds like he’s avoiding social events where there’s a group of people. You need to think up some more home improvement projects for him! :wink:

7

You’d think that would be a safe thing to presume, but that’s not always the case. Something could’ve come up that prevented him from attending the BBQ, or he could’ve forgotten all together (it happens to the best of us…and I’m not sharing the story). :stuck_out_tongue:

The OP is going to have to invite him to a social event again to test, but if he’s as shy as she indicates, then there’s probably something to that social event avoidance theory. What the OP should do is ask some questions of her TG regarding what he likes to do in his free time. A more subtle way would be to ask him what he thinks about certain spots (night clubs, restaurants, sports venues, museum or art venues, etc.) in an effort to find out places he has visited and his interest level in those places. It’ll give you great insight into his tastes and pleasures.

I’d also recommend some Instant Honesty and Instant Openness, or just the Come Talk to Me product, which is a mixture of the former two. You want to ease his feelings and get him talking comfortably; that’s when you’ll get the most relevant intelligence about him coming from his lips. Then use that knowledge to set up situations where you both can enjoy each other’s company.

Btw, when you mentioned coworkers asking “what’s going on” and you two backing off, that’s a big red flag waving in the breeze for me. Something tells me that one or both of you aren’t fully comfortable being in a relationship with a coworker. You might want to check your initial premise regarding that arrangement, and you’d be prudent to find out his comfort level as well.

Good luck to you girl. :slight_smile:

8

Hello MsDiva

Welcome to Pherotalk :slight_smile:

Great suggestions the members. I strongly suggest IH, It can help open him up more but it also gives a deep connected comfortable vibe.

Ishine for a youthful exuberance and upbeat vibe.

I am thinking MX274 which has P74 in it. Keep in mind this one is new so you may want to read up on it in the forum first but P74 is great for comfort and bonding.

Of course Instant sexiness is a must. I think every women should have a bottle. There are two kinds A and B

A is a strong, attractive, confident, sexy female vibe.

B is softer, girly sexy kittenish confident female vibe.

You know him better so you will have to decide what you think he would respond well to there. Generally we go for the one that is closest to our own personalities the first time.

If you have any questions just ask. We look forward to chatting with you in the forum.

Your GC will go out shortly. :smiley:

Tisha

9

Hi MS Diva and Welcome to PheroTalk!

I myself, tried to get a shy guy to open up and it’s not easy. You usually have to be the more aggressive one for a while until they open up fully to you. You guys spend breaks together and that’s good and you might want to try getting him out of the work setting to help him to loosen up. People act differently when they are not at work.

I agree with what Carrie said instant openness and instant honesty are great products to start with. The instant openness will allow him to open up more and be more chatty. The instant honesty will help him to feel he can communicate with you on a deeper level, therefore bringing you guys closer together. For attraction, the instant sexiness /b, is a great idea too. Reps to Carrie :slight_smile:

You will need to mix these products with the right settings to get it to work because using in the wrong area might make him feel more uncomfortable and crawl back in his shell. Just watch out for the other men at work who might take your new signature as a way to hit on the Hottie at the office :slight_smile:

Be willing to listen and push when you need to but not overbearing or too pushy, just a bit to get him out of his shell and then make your move. I hope everything goes well.

Your $15 GC is on it’s way to your inbox.

10

**Sorry this is so long, but wow this really works… Not that I had much doubt. I mean I grew up in the midwest where every man hunts and no hunter would go out smelling freshly bathed in a bunch of cologne. You need to smell like what attracts the animal. I figured the same concept applied here.

Day One

**1 spray CTTM, IS/A to the hair and one spray Instant Shine to the chest.

Got a head rush, but by the time I got to work I was feeling pretty upbeat.

TG was sick and not at work. People seemed pretty happy and chatty. Sups coming by to chit chat and not work related which is odd due to the recent stress. One Sup (Male) just stopped and stared. Another sup did ask what that musky smell was.

*******Ooops I still need to work on covering.
Day Two

One spray of CTTM to the hair and one spray Instant Shine to the chest.

Feeling good, no head rush

TG came to work today and right away I had to have him do something for me. While he was helping me. I asked him how he was feeling. He said he still wasn’t feeling good, but then after a few mins the pheros must of kicked in cause he seemed ok. Though out the day he was making really good eye contact, smiling, and kept coming up to just talk.

Day Three

*Decieded to add back the IS/A to see how he reacts (no head rush this time)

*1 spray CTTM, IS/A to the hair and one spray Instant Shine to the chest.

I’m feeling good and confident.

OMG! TG was completely different today. I don’t think he is a TAL guy at all. I walked down to my Sups desk and on the way back he was just staring. Not sure if this was DIHL or what??? I said, “what?” and he just shook his head, didn’t say a word, but kept complete eye contact the whole time. Later when a group of us went to break he was already sitting at the table. I was next in the breakroom. I sat down and he wouldn’t look at me. WTF? I asked him a few questions and got really short answers, but he was squirming in his seat. Almost like he was looking for the door. Then a few others joined us and he seemed to calm down, but I felt him just staring at me. As the day went on and the pheros wore off he seem to loosen up.

Other things I noticed was that on this day I have a guy that sits next to me. He works a different shift so I only see him one day during the week. He was extremly talkative and offering me food and making lots of eye contact. This is not normal for him.

A couple of upper managers came by smiled, made eye contact, and actually talked to me about non work related things. whoa!!!

******Lessoned learned use IS/A when needing to impress management, but probably not for TG.

**Now this is where it gets interesting!!!

**Day Four

One spray of CTTM to the hair, one spray Instant Shine to the chest, and MX274 to the top of my hands.

Again good mood, little tired.

Let’s start with break. TG is back to his normal self. Everybody at break is in a really good mood. We are talking and laughing. Laughing so hard one girl had water come out her nose.

Let me fill you in a little bit…A while back (like 6 months ago) TG had an incident where his boxers were showing when he bent over to help a coworker. Of course it sparked a hilarous conversation of whale tales and guys boxers showing at work and lots of giggles. Later that day another coworker and I were laughing about something completely different. TG stand up says, “What? (Insert my name here) Are my boxer showing?” in front of the whole team. Everybody was just staring. I said, “I don’t know I wasn’t checking your A$$ out.” Anyway, He asked me to tell him if it happend again. This is when coworkers started asking questions about that was going on between us.

Ok, so getting back to the day. TG is once again helping a coworker…actually I think it was the same coworkers as before and his boxers were once again showing. I didn’t say anything due to people being around and not wanting to embarrass him, so I instant messaged him when he got back to his desk and the coversation went something like this…

Me: Hey
TG: sup
Me: green and blue plaid?
TG: What?
Me: Remember you told me to tell you?
TG: I’m confused
Me: Pull your pants up
TG: you didn’t see anything they are black and gray
Me: Whatever don’t believe me…I didn’t want to stare
TG: Do I have eyes in the back of my head?
Me: What?
TG: I can’t see you staring
Me: No you can’t, but others can and you know how this place talks.
TG: yep…lol :slight_smile:

Ok, so that’s the conversation. I then had to discuss something with the coworker that sits next to TG. When I walk over to there TG goes “Next time I just won’t wear any!”

OMG!!! I turned three shades of red.

The rest of the day he was at my desk off and on. He would come over and kneel down talking about any thing from football (Go Huskers!) to asking for gum.

Ok so we are bonding…He hasn’t been all nervous and shy except IS/A day…Now Ask me out, damnit!

11

He was nervous and shy with IS/A, that dosnt mean he is not a TAL guy. Now do a combo of IS/A MX274 and CTTM and see if that dosnt push him over the edge a bit.

Think about it, when you like someone you get nervous and shy. I think the IS/A worked on him and it just tokk him by surprise. Adding the comfort mones will help there.

Nice report, Reps :wink:

Oh and when he said “next time I wont wear any” Your response should have been. "I look forward to it " Flirt girl flirt, make a easier for him to ask. :wink:

Tisha

12

MsDiva,

OMG, this is so similiar to incidents I have here at work that I had to rep ya. This girl wears low rise jeans and half the time I can see her thong from the back. We usually chat through IM and I’ll say something like “Red”, and within a couple pings back and forth, she’ll know what I’m talking about.

Sometimes she’ll tell me I’m wrong, and then I say “I know what I saw”, and she’ll say “but you’re wrong”, to which I’ll counter “prove it”! She’ll try to turn the conversation by guessing my color, but she hasn’t a clue because they don’t show. It’s so fun and maddening at the same time how sexually frustrated we make each other… :stuck_out_tongue: It’s always fun to flirt.

I like how your TG said next time he won’t wear any. I agree with Tisha; he left the door open to a come back line from you and you should’ve plugged right in with something. You have him relaxed and openning up; now just slightly turn it up a notch.

I think the IS/A may be too much for your TG right now as it is more a strong and confident mix. That’s probably why your sups and managers responded well (sexy and confident equate to good sales and overall image brand), but poor TG was a bit intimidated.

On a side note, it’s kinda cool seeing you girls talk about this. I mean, I think guys realize that it happens, but we really don’t blatantly see it. On the other hand, guys talk about girls all the time; even in the presence of other girls. It’s so cliche that phone companies are making commercials where the girl calls her guy “a pig”.

13

Thanks for the Reps.

I’m glad I’m not the only one that is sexually frustrated at work!

I wish I had a come back for him, but he caught me of guard. Way of guard!! I was not expecting this from him at all. I was the one blushing and turning bright red. lol. I still smile and laugh to myself when I think about it.

I was going to try to work a comment or come back in today, but work was very stressful as my company laid off a bunch of people. :open_mouth: It was a lot more serious talk. Not much fun. :angry: I did try the IS/A again, but like I said work was stressful and everybody was walking on egg shells so I couldn’t judge properly. I could of used about 3 gallons of instant shine!!! lol. We did have a couple serious converstions but, it was later in the day when the pheros should have worn off (more bonding :o). I will continue testing. ~By the way… currently we both still have our jobs.

14

yeah too bad the skers lost to va tech. we suck!

15

Here’s to making sure we keep it that way, eh? :wink:

On a side note, I just purchased some empty ToGo bottles that I plan to fill with my socials. The ToGo bottles are slender plastic sprayers that hold 5 mL. Imagine a chapstick tube and you pretty much can envision how small there are.

You can use those to quickly and indiscreetly reapply during the day. I think the socials have a 4-6 hour lifespan (Tish will correct me if I’m wrong). It sounded like you still were able to bond though, so that’s good.

Side note, any bonding done during times of stress tends to strengthen those bonds at a higher rate than during non stress times. Psychologists tend to call it “the glue that keeps the relationship together”. I’m not suggesting the layoffs are a good thing, but realize that you do have an opportunity to shine here (no pun intended). Use your socials to help fosture an environment where people can feel more comfortable; with everyone on eggshells, they’re definitely seeking out something stable and comfortable.

Keep your head up and remain confident. That type of woman is certainly attractive for sure!