Hi everybody
First of all an apology if this is not in the right ‘group’, i am not sure if this is a strictly heterosexual group or not!
I have a somewhat complicated situation on hand (female same-sex relationship) so sorry about the length of this post as well.
A little about myself: I am late 20s, asian, average height/build. I project somewhat of an androgynous sort of image - I definitely don’t behave girly at all.
Her: She is in her 30s, asian. Dominant, bossy, aggressive. Likes the occasional no-strings-attached one night stand. By her own admission, she needs someone of superior intelligence to dominate her.
We’re in Asia and the weather is always hot – temperatures in the 30s (Celsius) or 90s (Fahrenheit) – and very humid at 80-90% humidity every day.
Before me, she had always been straight. Never even thought about experimenting … until I came along. We had a great relationship for just over two years, were very happy, sex was great etc. Towards the end however, she started pulling away and eventually said she wanted to end things as she felt she was fundamentally straight. I naturally couldn’t quite accept her reasoning as, after all, she couldn’t really have been straight if we had had great sex for two years.
This was three months ago, and since then we’ve still been great friends. In fact she’s said she doesn’t want things to change between us – i.e. we have the emotional commitment, we get along great in all respects, we are physically close and comfortable with each other, we just don’t have the sex. In all other respects we behave as if we’re still together, and people have asked if we are. (note: it’s not that she’s lost her sex drive completely, because after we broke up she slept with a guy.)
I’m wondering if there’s anything I could use that would perhaps help to ‘awaken’ her sexual drive for me. I’ve read loads of posts on this forum but I still can’t really figure out what to do because of the complicated confluence of factors here … is she straight? Bisexual? Experimenting? Confused? I don’t know how her nose works either (aside from the fact that it’s often blocked and congested, but nothing a little pseudoephedrine cant take care of).
I bought a few products from love-scent recently: WAGG, NPA (W) (with Pheromol Factor), liquid trust. Along with some gel packs of SOE (M), AE (W), and perception. So far LT has done absolutely nothing at 3-4 sprays at neck and chest level just prior to meeting her. No reaction from all of the gel packs as well. Nothing from the PF. Nothing from NPA (W) at one drop spread over wrists and neck, except for giving myself a headache (none of the aggression or OD signals either). The only thing that might have possibly gotten any reaction has been WAGG, one drop tipped over the back of my hand (I actually like the way it smells after a while, kind of a faint sweet muskiness) – which has tended to make us both very friendly and chatty. But there’s been absolutely no reaction on her part to say “let’s have sex” although there’s been a fair bit of platonic snuggling and cuddling, enough to make me wonder WTF?
What would you guys suggest – knowing that this is someone who needs to be dominated and I’m not naturally the aggressive sort? Or is it a lost cause altogether? She might very well be suppressing any urges after all since she’s as much as admitted she was never going to come out of the closet.
Any input would be very much appreciated!
