A former girlfriend…we’ve been in touch off and on over the 10 years since we split but she’s quite…well…uncommunicative between meeting up. Our new partners don’t mind us being friends. I never hear from her except every couple of months about going for a drink. Then we meet, have a great time, and I hear nothing for weeks.
She’s recently introduced me to her partner for the first time too.
And now, she’s suddenly got very communicative. Contacting me randomly out of the blue to ask my opinion on things that really don’t need my opinion.
And whenever I mention her partner or ask how’s he doing she skips over it or ignores the question completely despite the fact I now kinda know him. It’s like she just doesn’t want to talk about him with me.
Does this behavior mean she’s still interested? And if so, how interested on a scale of 1 to 10 where 1 is “not really” and 10 is “super keen”.
Or is it that she’s got better things to do than hang out with an ex but for whatever reason feels the need to occasionally? Or is she just bad at being a communicator?
I’m just wondering if I need to be worried (I don’t want anything to happen between us again).
Its hard to say. Perhaps she is interested again, though if she knows you have a partner now, hopefully she would respect that.
Or maybe she is feeling distanced from (or is even no longer with) her partner, and feels lonely and needs a friend, obviously feeling comfortable with you as a friend, despite your previous relationship.
Maybe try inviting her and her partner out for lunch or something with the two of you. Her response to this might give you the answer.
Seems to me like she likes to flirt and lead guys on a bit. You know the kind that gets off on getting attention. Not that thats a bad thing but always something to be wary of.
It just means she was uncomfortable not sharing her friendship with you with her boyfriend. While its not cheating and perfectly acceptable for males and females to be just friends that hang out there is a grey area. More so for women because in our past culture you could not even be alone in the same room with a man without a chaperon or you wore the Scarlett letter on your forehead.
You becoming friends or meeting with her boyfriend has cleared the grayness up and made it more comfortable for the two of you to be friends.
I have a lot of male friends and I know this feeling well. You cant help but have that nagging feeling that your doing something wrong or you will hurt your partner. That’s why I always have my friends meet my husband. It puts everyone at ease more.
I am in touch with ex boyfriends and we are friendly but nothing more. One ex and I both used to work in the same field and we also retain a connection due to that interest. The other occasionally contacts me to say “hi”.
From my own personal perspective. I do not talk about my husband with them because I want to keep that part of my life separate.
My husband does not particularly want to be buddy buddy with my ex’s but he is okay with me talking business with them or staying in touch with them.
So, perhaps, that is why she does not mention her boyfriend.
There’s little gems in here that have cleared things up for me a lot
future777 that’s kinda the exact opposite of how she is - she can be hard work to get an emotional response out of sometimes and the word “flirt” isn’t even in her dictionary, but I know what you’re saying
Here is my opinion… once a woman puts you in the friend department, its hard to get out. If you want to just be friends, just be a nice guy to her and definitley do not use any mones around her lol.
In my experience, girls can be friends with guys alot easier than a guy can remain friends with a girl. We are by nature… umm.. horndogs
