So me and this girl have been flirting on text and every time we see each other with friends. Were friends and I have not asked her to hang out just me and her. Basically right now were just friends. I do know that she is interested because her friend told me that she would be really down to go on a date with me. Of course, I was really excited about this, but i kept it cool. I told her friend, she’s cute and I would take it slow for now.
A week later. I saw her and a couple friends. I sprayed ammo and instant shine on me before i got out of my car. Once one of my friends smelled me, they mentioned how good I smelled and was teasing me and asked where I came from. They assumed I smelled good because I just came from a date with a girl. When in reality, I wore it for the girl I like. The girl I like noticed was more quiet and seemed really bothered. I asked her why she was in a bad mood and she just said she was tired. Every time I hang out with this girl, we always have a good time, and we always flirt, so this was really weird. Idk if i OD on ammo which is unlikely because I had on only one spray, but it was not a good time.
Then it got worse when she started explaining how boys are so hard to read. And that everyone messes with her head. Then, she started telling me a story about some guy that she met a couple of days ago that has not texted her after 3 days. Of course I was rlly bummed hearing this, cuz I was starting to like this girl. When everyone went home, I texted her just starting to start conversation, and it also was not the same. The smiley faces and long texts she used to send me a week ago turned into small, slow reply conversation. It was like, she lost interest
That night, I was so bothered by all this! Did i wait too long? Should I have asked her out sooner? Is this guy just a front to get me jealous? Guys always want what they can’t have. Now that there is another guy in the picture, I just like her so much more and I can’t get her out of my head. Plz help!!
Possible, but not likely…guy is probably involved but maybe not as serious as she may be leading you to think.
Unlikely, don’t assume every reaction is based on mones, she could be having a bad day regardless of your mones. I mean wearing instant shine to a funeral won’t stop the crying but that doesn’t mean instant shine doesn’t work.
Do NOT become emotional tampon guy, affection is not attraction. listening to rants about men is the job of her girl friends and gay friends. Don’t be a dick about it, just casually change the conversation to something more mutually pleasant. When she’s talking to you, you do NOT want A.) her in a negative state, this is a bad association…or B.)her thinking about another guy, it’s like saying "oh don’t mind that, it’s just my penis, nothing for you to be concerned with.
You need to realize something…WOMEN TALK! And female friends scout for each other. If you think that she didn’t hear about your conversation with her female friend you’re naive as hell bro.
When her friend told you that she was interested?..yeah you won’t see a brighter green light in Ryan Reynolds upcoming movie.
And when you said you’d “take it slow”, yeah that made it back to her I guarantee you. Which probably is what made her decide to search elsewhere…be bold bro.
You do realize that this was a passive aggressive move, don’t you? A perfect time for you to say “hey, let’s talk”.
She knows about your “take it slow” comment. The friend was a scout. Which comes back to her so hard to read comment. You yourself thought that fireworks were going, the stars were bright, rainbows and sunshine and then you flip with a take it slow comment. She’s left wondering how you truly feel.
Be bold. Be direct. Be honest.
Call her, tell her you want to talk and set up a date. Don’t even mention the other guy – talk about you two. Ask her all sorts of questions to find out about who she is. Get her talking and soak up everything.
According to me you only have one option now.. which is texting or calling her right away and tell her you want a date. How you write it, you decide yourself. Yeah you maybe should have done something sooner, but it dosen’t mean it is too late. But if you don’t act now, it will be. Don’t care about the other dude, and punish her behaviour when she talks about some other guy. Like don’t respond (ignoring) or tell her something like “interesting” with a boring look on your face. U get the idea.
So go get her! And show her who’s the man
and if I were you, only use shine. I haven’t used shine but I know ammo dosen’t work for me. You are young as me, so I would not recomend it. Unless you have had good success with it before.
i’m not going to rehash what everyone else said. I wish I had got to this thread first.
"take it slow " Women and men do not speak the same language!! who knows what you really said especially after her girlfriends helped her analyze it. You thought you were being smooth didn’t you. Should have cavemanned her as soon as she said everyone messes with her head. That would have been a direct statement.
Man, it was so obvious that she had you on her radar and interested in you! I don’t think you OD’ed with the mones, it was more of her reacting to your friend’s compliment that you smelled good coz you were out on a date. When you kept quiet about it, it was like confirming that you were really out on a date that hurt her feelings. She was talked about the other guy to lessen tje hurt she was feeling and prolly make you a bit jealous.
Make your move man! Ammo and shine are excellent mones, don’t get frustrated because of this one outcome. If I wereyou and if it’s not too late, I would tell her straight that you wore the cologne just for her
Let me clear up how girls operate for you LOL. When its your friend thats telling you a girl is into to you it to be supportive and encourage you to go for it.
When its her friend that is telling you she is into you its because the girl sent her over to find out how you feel about her. Men wont admit it but they send out there scouts as well when they are interested in a girl. Its not something just one gender does.
She probably caught wind of what everyone was assuming and it put her in a bad mood. You told her friend you thought she was cute and would take it slow. Which gives a indication of interest. If she thinks you were out on another date then she probably thinks her friends misinterpreted your response or your playing her and she is disappointed.
The mention of another guy is always to get a rise out of you. To push you into making a move unless she has excepted your slow response as disinterest and decided to stick you in her friends box. Male and female friends do talk about there interactions with the opposite sex it doesn’t make you a tampon it makes you a friend and puts you in the friends box that you created with your procrastination. If you are now in the box you havent been there long so if you like this girl get your butt out of that box now before you get stuck there.
I cannot believe how helpful u all have been. I feel pretty stupid saying the “take it slow” comment. I just didnt want to seem too eager or too excited. I will definitely ask her out! Thanks to everyone !!
Telling her friend that you’re interested doesn’t make you come off as too eager or excited. You simply lose the mystery element of "is he or isn’t he interested in me?’
Don’t feel stupid; just take this as a learning experience. Rarely does one learn anything of value without first making a mistake.
The men who deny it and then talk about going to a club with their wingman in the same sentence don’t understand the phrase “oxymoronic statement”. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve been asked to play scout.
My advice to buddies who’ve asked me to “scout” out a girls attraction to them has nearly always been essentially to tell them to go see for themselves.
I would never send a buddy to scout out a girls attraction to me, it is far too easy for that action to send signals that I don’t want any girl I’m interested in receiving.
If she figures it out that you are scouting her, the fact that you sent someone else to do it shows a lack of confidence in your own sexuality = a BIG turn off for the ladies.
The only time I could see it working is if your buddy has a MUCH better frame than you, in which case you are hoping that her attraction towards your buddies strong frame can translate into attraction to you.
There’s a difference between a scout and a wingman. A wing will open a set and talk you up to the girl, he will engage her friends to leave it open for you to talk to her more one on one, even beta himself slightly in order to make you look good…he is NOT to communicate you interest to the girl for you nor is he to try and find out if she’s interested. That stuff is your job.
Welcome to the club.