Lately I’ve read a bit about the key differences between Alpha-Males and the aggressive males. And in reading about this, it seems I’ve found a bit of a link (though I’m more than likely not the first).
Many of the pheromone users here have encountered that agro male that became aggressive, that appeared threatened and tried to assert their dominance through an impulsive act of aggressive behaviour, either verbally or physically.
It seems to me, that if someone is going to feel threatened and act impulsively, its not going to be another alpha-male or even a beta-male (that is normally content being a beta) but by someone that is in between, someone who wants to be that alpha-male but isn’t quite because of their personality and impulsiveness (which I read here is because of low serotonin levels).
It seems through observation that an alpha-male will not feel threatened by another alpha-male as long as there’s a certain level of respect going each way where someone who is aggressive and impulsive may simply be threatened by the presence of an alpha.
Is there a name for someone who isn’t an alpha but not a beta, yet they’re just agro and trying to be alpha but fail for their impulsiveness??? Curious to know what others have discovered about this.
Another thought… Sort of an easier way to think about it, I guess… Some of you who still go to school might understand this, but I guess it also applies to work environments too.
Alpha-Males are the leaders who seem to get along with most people, who inspire people to follow them and people enjoy being around. They generally don’t feel threatened because they can’t be exposed as being fake and those who respect them will continue to respect them, because they ‘are’ a genuine alpha.
Aggressive Males tend to be the bullies, and from what I’ve seen in school and work environments tend to boss people rather than lead people. These people are the ones who seem to be the ones who are the most easily threatened, maybe the fear of looking inferior to a true alpha? I dunno… But it does make sense when you think about a lot of the situations where people get bullied, and can keep some from becoming alphas.
I think you’re exactly correct: a true alpha is a leader and not a thug, bully or easily threatened. They lead by example and inspiration. The latter are wannabes. And, yes, it’s the insecurity of wannabes that makes them so dangerous and bossy, e.g., beat you senseless in bar for looking at their woman or slash your tires after you whipped them.
I believe there’s another quasi-alpha, the lone wolf. He has many alpha traits, may have once served in an alpha role, but avoids social contact due to some deep seated problem. They tend to be somewhat fearless and can be as dangerous as a wannabe if your cross them.
Now I must mention many on this forum don’t recognize alpha males by the classic textbook definition of leadership qualities but, instead, by manliness, aggression, killer instinct, confident persona, ability to nail women, etc., i.e., the James Bond image rather than a general or CEO.
I was trying to be very broad. But perhaps more so a gentleman type rather than the manliness, controlled dominance rather than aggression, but yes, definitely the confidence and ability to nail women…
Very true, but I’m pretty sure if the lone wolf type wanted they could exhibit all the qualities of a good leader… Happens a bit, the quiet confident guy becomes the best leader when it comes to the crunch and no-one else is up to it.
But “ALL” Alpha-Males seem have those few things in common, that controlled dominance and able to assert themselves when and where they want to without letting impulsiveness cause them to become like the wannabe alphas, so essentially one of those people who makes leading others look easy. The confidence which may or may not be outward going but its definitely there.
While James Bond is a good example of an alpha with all those qualities, and there is certainly that mysterious sexiness of James Bond, but if we could get away from James Bond maybe we can find more positive traits and behaviours to look to, and to make some who may think that alpha-male persona is out of their reach, maybe we need to come up with some ideas of some other characters and people who are also great examples of alphas so that people have more than one source to draw from to help them reach their potential, and feel more natural and themselves (which is certainly a more attractive trait than putting on airs).
In my book, alpha males are the ones who can go into a room and make everyone in there feel happy. Aggressive males are the ones who have insecurity problems or don’t know any better.
I actually get to hang with real alpha males–high ranking administrators, CEOs, politicians, etc.–and most are not “feel good” types or social butterflies. But in their element they rule with wisdom, confidence and with an iron fist if necessary. However the one trait I see common to most alphas is the ability to delegate power. The ability to “network” their power makes them even more powerful and far reaching. For most guys it takes decades to ascend to alpha make status, i.e., a true position of leadership, power and status. Being a confident cool dude and lady’s man is a long way from being an actual alpha male–a leader. You actually earn and learn your alpha stripes, so you’re pretty much a wannabe until or “alpha in training” until that day.
I frequently observe young men in student projects take on leadership roles due to some underlying alpha qualities, i.e., confidence, aggression, etc. However his total lack of knowledge and experience often leads the group off a cliff, causing the members to revolt and rule by committee. To truly lead and therefore be the alpha male, you need substance born of hard work and experience. Until that happens, you ain’t an alpha male.
The alpha and beta designations seem to be most useful as social constructs within a given social system. For instance, a particular motorcycle gang member may be “alpha” in his gang. A CEO may be alpha in his corporation. That does not mean a beta gang member will defer to the CEO, nor will a corporate gopher necessarily defer to the gang leader. The agreements as to status are within a particular social grouping.
In fluid groups like a bunch of strangers in a bar, it is doubtful that stable relationships will have fully developed. There may be various attempts to assert dominance and establish such relationships though.