An example of MPB..

Field Reports & Anecdotal Experience Men's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports
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For those of you who don’t know, MPB is Male Pattern Blindness :stuck_out_tongue: And I was guilty today.

I just thought I’d throw this up there, maybe it might help some other guy be more aware. That being said, I’m usually pretty tuned into the dynamics of a situation but even simply being aware isn’t enough sometimes. You have be able to recognize the situation and act on it properly to get the outcome you want.

Here’s what happened:

I walk into a discussion for one of my classes and a young girl sits down at the desk next to me. For some reason she introduces herself to me right away, as well as the guy behind her (for what reason? I don’t know because she didn’t bother introducing herself to anyone else) So I bite, and I ask her some basic questions about herself. Nothing special there.

Throughout the class I just made small talk now and then. We’re let out early and she wants to talk to the TA so I wait outside for a bit while she talks. When she gets out, she asks me why I’m outside. I tell her that I think it’d be rather rude if I left in the middle of a conversation. She laughs and we walk together in the direction of my next class.

Now, that’s all fine and dandy, no hangups there. Where my MPB kicked in is when she asks me what I’m doing tonight. I give her a literal answer at the time, not getting that she was really asking if I wanted to hang out. She didn’t really want to know what I was doing, but if I was planning on going out, and if so, maybe I’d want to hang out with her.

Ironically, this whole time I’m too busy wondering how I can transition to exchanging numbers and all that. It’s not until I reach my class and say bye that I realize she was handing me an opening on a silver platter that whole time.

When she introduced herself to me, I recognized that opening and acted on it by being social with her. When she came out and asked me why I was out there, I recognized that opening as well, and also acted on it. But when she gave me that last opening, I failed to recognize it and thus failed to act on it. Perhaps I would still have been successful if I just blindly acted on it anyways, since her she was clearly interested, but I didn’t.

Shoulda, coulda, woulda…but didn’t.

If anyone is wondering I just had a spray of IS2x on. There isn’t much to discuss, it’s just sort of a confessional/PSA.

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You know, I never knew about MPB when I was younger and single. Being rather shy I probably took it for disinterest…

Anyway, thanks for sharing that, and don’t feel bad, you’ll see her again and get a second chance, right?

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I could see how you might take it as disinterest. There’s a strong possibility she might have been thinking..Sooo I said hi, I walked with him, I asked him what he was doing…what gives?

But yea, I don’t feel bad at all, I have class with her for the rest of the quarter so there’s plenty of chances. I just don’t plan on using more than one more. :slight_smile: Things just stick in my head better when I put it out there for the world to see.

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Great post Phya. Thnaks for being so honest with what is a classic male verbal miscue.

All too often women do not ask questions for information but rather to politely give a hint and or to try to steer the conversation. Men on the other hand tend to be very literal and ask and answer questions for the literal information. “Just tell us the facts, m’am.”

Yours was a classic case.

Another case is when she asks you some kind of info about this restraunt or that club. Think it through fast - is she really “just” asking or suggesting maybe she would like to go there? Even if only to check it out.

I made both types of mistakes myself with Mrs. BH early in the relationship. Luckily she is both very forgiving and has a great sense of humor. You need both dealing closely with me on a constant basis … lol.