Social Psychology and Pheromones aka “An Uncool Goober Monk on Pheromones”
Episode I: A week without pheromones
I’ve been wearing pheromones almost daily for about 3 months now, keeping track of how my coworkers and acquaintances have been repsonding to me. But I have no idea how they would
respond without pheromones. I’m going to try to apply my sociology training to my experijments more often, while still writing in a concise fashion, but it is going to be difficult to be both active socially and socially analytical. I’ve also realized that I’ve been paying an unbalanced amount of attention to individual behavior, as opposed to group behavior and social connections. There are specific social “nodes” at work in the hospitals social network, and I’ve begun to notice a few interestig points. One of which is that the social groups in my hospital are almost entirely age dependent, and the second of which is that as a 36 year old
male, I’ve become independent of the predominant social group at work in my own department.
This is , for lack of a better word, “uncool.”
Now, I’m a bit rusty with the terminology and my Sociology
classes were non-standard social-psychology and psychological-sociology variants so the social theories I prescribe to are not standardized or fully accepted by everyone. They’re based on cognitive science - one of the sciences behind artifical intelligence and the simulation of behavior and decsion making. Pardon me, and feel free to correct me, if I use incorrect terminology.
Here’s one week of my observations:
Monday - Day off. worked at home. Blew a whole day doing nothing worthwhile. I always regret those days.
Tuesday - I wore an Axe bodyspray, no pheromones. The young female who is normally very reserved and shy was MUCH more friendly and coommunicative than usual. 20omething guys in
general were more friendly, amicable, “buddy-buddy”-ish. Another cutie was warm, friendly, not quite as flirty as she sometimes is. It’s not fair to attribute that behavior to pheromones, sexuality, or my personalty - Occams razor leads me to believe that “altered mental status” would be the most probable cause for her behavior towards me.
Had an interesting conflict with two late30 / early 40-something women today, but I initiated it by being assertive as opposed to everyone else who puts up with their BS. They treat others as subordinates, as opposed to a co-worker, and I decided not to play along when i saw them treating others like that. I heard “What an asshole.” and “He acts like we’re in the military.” No, I just don’t buy into their BS…
My supposed “imaginary super-hearing” was not in play here - my
customer heard them also, and stopped + looked at them like they were fricking idiots. Which they are. I said “I may not still be in the military, but the military is still in ME”. The customer chuckled and shook her head.
Too bad the 'ladies" didn’t hear me. Presumptive bitches.
People naturally tend to congregate and share opinions. The collective opinion of these two women was inconsequential at this point… but what if it spread to a larger section of the collective / peer-group? Wait a minute - with all of my sociology training, why haven’t I analyzed the peer groups? HOLY SHIT, I thought -I am my own peer group. I stick out like a sore thumb - the “ladies” treated me as if I were one of the younger coworkers becasue they look at me as being part of their group, while the younger co-workers look at me as if I belong in the “ladies” “irritable old fart” group. Suddenly I feel like I’m the lone ranger riding around
unarmed and buck naked in the middle of a shooting gallery.
Wednesday- “Just one of those days.”
Worked with 5 guys and 2 women for the majority of my shift, which is an unusal ratio. Got along well with the guys, but noticed that I was definitely just being tolerated - I wasn’t party to most of the private - sexual and dating conversations going on. Then again these guys already
know I’m not into the same kind of social life that they are, so including me would have been pointless. (“You live like you’re a damned monk, pete… pete, you’re such a goober…” etc) I also felt as if I were being dismissed or discounted when the conversation turned to herbs,
something I know a bit about – nobody wanted to hear the answers to questions they were asking, so I let it go. Maybe not participating in the drinking/promiscuity conversation (and lifestyle) was key - by not
participating, I wouldn’t be allowed to participate in the herb conversation? I don’t remember signing that social contract, but it was apparently implied. Then again, people often don’t like hearing clearly articulated opinions that contradict their own - especially from people they disrespect. I couldn’t tell which issue was at work, but I also felt as if I was too wrapped up in observing and noting their behavior to
respond to it effectively. I find that it’s very difficult to be an active participant and an analytical observer at the same time. I need to observe at work and analyze the behavior later, but I have difficulty seperating those two actions. Then again, coherence may be coming into play here.
The fact that they discount, dismiss, and/or disagree with my social/sex life views may have a lot to do with their views on ALL of my other opinions. This is called a “coherence mechanism”, and it is the fricking bane of my existence. In simpler terms, I’m being
stereotyped… I’ve been assigned a box, and in their minds, that’s where I’m going to stay.
I work mostly with women and pay very close attention to their behavior - but it ocurred to me that I have been ignoring my 20something male coworkers since I don’t work with them very often, and today I realized that I don’t understand their opinion of me. It is becoming more important though, because I will be working more closely with them in the future, and I know that attitudes are contagious. In academic terms, social entropy spreads easily in a feed forward system. (As opposed to a feedback system, where social reputations / prestige spreads in two or
more directions.) If they disrespect me or do not take me seriously, then that opinion, attitude, and behavior will be picked up on by my other coworkers and will gradually become more pervasive unless I change the behavior and opinion at the root / point of origin. I just don’t fit into
their group - I don’t drink and I’m not a player or part of their peer group - so this might be a zero sum game and maybe I should just focus on limiting the social damage they will cause in my age group and/or the opposite sex.
On the other hand, I worked well with one of the women I disagreed with yesterday, and I did not interact with many females today. But the particular females I did work with were not as attentive to me as they normally have been (while I was wearing pheromones). Cooperative and professional, yes - but not chatty or flirty. Looking back on it, I spent very little time alone with any of them so the odds were against me today.
Later on in the shift, the cutie was “having one
of those days” where everything got on her nerves - except me, apparently. I spent more time alone with her than with anyone else, and the passive young female was reasonably friendly. I
wore no pheromones or scent - only deodorant.
Thursday- I wore Axe Midnight and switched from light colored clothes/ white T-shirt / White shoes to dark clothes, dark grey T-shirt, and Black sneakers + I didn’t shave. I’m more of an idiot than I’ve
admitted up until now – I just realized that i don’t pay much attention to my clothing at work, while the younger guys do and so do the women. I wear large, old, baggy clothes and cheap white sneakers while they actually spend money on new, form-fitting scrubs and the most stylish sneakers they can find. I prefer to spend my money on other things, but this is one obvious, glaring flaw in my approach to women at work that i will have to fix. In order to fix it without blowing my budget and financial priorities, I’m going to stop wearing my own scrubs, only wear the hospital scrubs, and get some decent shoes.
Today I worked with all males for a significant portion of my shift. Young white males who are heavily into the bar/club scene and who are for the most part promiscuous. To say that they think I’m an old fart is an understatement. The rest of the evening was similar to yesterdays results, little to no involvement with nurses, no flirtation, a more friendly passive 20 y/o female, and some flirtation with the 28 y/o cutie.
Friday - Day off.
My conclusion so far is that observing only the positive behavior of women I’m interested in while ignoring the behavior and opinions of my male co-workers has become an exercise in self-aggrandizement - an ego-trip. This one week without pheromones has been enough to deflate my ego and make me reconsider whether the pheromones have been working on others or if I am just going through my days while wearing rose colored glasses. It’s also shown me that I need to be more active than observant, and to only analyze behavioral events after they have ocurred, rather than while they are happening.
I forgot about this - A really sweet 22 year old med-student kept stopping by and asking me for instructions on how to do particular things. She asked me, and nobody else offered to help. I could NOT stop staring at her big, juicy, gorgeous Angelina-Jolie-Sized lips. I just wanted one kiss. “Just one!”, I kept thinking throughout the conversation. “God, that would be so F—ing incredible”, I thought. We were standing very close, face to face and within a foot of each other - we were smiling at each other the whole time while everyone else watched. We didn’t touch, but I was obviously tempted. The conversation was technical and academic, so I had no real opening. Nobody said anything, but I saw a few raised eyebrows and saw my coworkers exchange glances. My mouth was watering. I was afraid that I was drooling. I’m lucky that I didn’t embarass myself, and hope she is working again soon. I think I just might be bale to land that kiss (her lips would be the topic of conversation) All I need is a few seconds alone with her.