Well now you know and you can move on to other conquests.
I suggest you behave like you have been. You could change your signature around as an experiment since your familar with her and would be able to notice behavoir changes in her.
My general advice with any relationship, platonic or otherwise is you should always create some sexual tension. Even between those you dont think you would ever consider down the line.
I dont know if you noticed this from some of my other posts but my best friend is male. We have been best friends for 20 some odd years now. Nothing sexual going on there, he is friends with my husband as well. However he has never fully stepped into my friends box simply because he creates sexual tension. The potential is always there and we both know it. He doesnt step out of line but he creates that tension with every women he meets no matter his interest, no matter how old.
There is a few reasons for this.
situations change down the road. This waitress may have a boyfriend now but whose to say she will next week.
tastes and preferences change as we age
women share the friends in there friends box. If your in one woman’s box and her sister or best friend is hot and you want to make a move it would be harder because those people are an influence on her.
The most important… It leaves your options open.
You dont have to ask a girl out or even have the intention of asking them out to create that tension. That tension just means your a man of potential.
So my advice is keep flirting with her. Keep using powerful, open body language. Keep using kino. Never fully step into that box with anyone. Not because you expect or want it to go anywhere just because it improves your game and keeps options open for you.
Tisha , good points but it seems I am not alluding to the element of woman want what they can’t have.
D has my business card has apologized for not looking at my youtube channel yet. She’d had a week to do so and claims she’s been busy. D also is now on the second week since she told me she’d look at my channel and so far nada.
Finally D has told me she has a BF when i asked her when the last time it was someone took her out to dinner.
So at this point does it make much sense doing ALL THE WORK and asking her for her #so we can continue our conversations or does it make sense for me to pull back and not be so nice to her and have her see me pay less attention to her so that she knows I’m upset and chases me?
Have I done enough to make her chase me? If not what more would you do in my position? Noticed I asked her if someone had taken her out to dinner and she said her boyfriend (She knows I have someone too). I never asked her on a date or to be friends or for a phone #…
But the fact that she didn’t take the time to review my youtube channel and promised me last week she would shows me she is not balls to walls interested in me 100% and either I have to pursue more, or I have to back off and give her time to chase me.
This is going to be a tough one.. Could mones have anything to do with it? I’m wearing IS AMMO and not acting like someone who comes on.. perhaps I’m not being congruent enough? Should I wear more social mones? Like IS/ IH etc She is young early 20’s.
Oh wow that’s cool on your part to ask best question for your first dating. Well these are few ones:
Which is your favorite drink?
Where do you work? What is your profile?
What kind of music do you love to listen ?
What’s your favorite cuisine?
Which is your favorite restaurant?
What’s the name of your favorite movie?
What are your favorite hobbies?
What’s your favorite vacation spot?
What’s your idea of having a good time?
All good questions but I don’t think they lead towards intimacy or bonding.. its sounds more like an interrogation than a date.. I am really starting to believe that to connect with a woman requires 80% listening and non verbal skills, and 20% talking..
This is why I think on a first date people shouldn’t go places where only talking occurs .. eg coffee. neither should they go places where no talking occurs eg movie.
I think dinner is a great idea. You are in a position to talk, to eat and enjoy the cuisine, hopefully the place you take her sets the mood for romance or whatever type of mood your going for.
Then having maybe 4 questions you MAY bring up if silence occurs too long with some short stories of your own to create a little intrigue about you isn’t so bad. But like I said I don’t think this should be the main focus.
The goal of the first date is to build intimacy to lead to perhaps kissing and getting a second date.. .
So really the quesiton begs itself… How do you build intimacy?
Unfortunately the mone IH doesn’t work with my chemistry… brings out introspection into my depressive thoughts and I’m way to reserved , serious ,and depressed with it on.
IS AMMO is great.. Ammo summer edition may be just want I need (Let’s see as I have it on order ).
So can someone talk about how to get close to a woman on the first date? I think there has to be a bond of sorts before the first date takes place. So during the casual talk, telephone conversations, phone texting etc, a huge increase in comfort and attraction must occur in order for both people to want to date.
I’m assuming not everyone who dates will look like swimsuit models and have physcial relations with no effort.
Tips? I can hear Tisha’s keyboard strokes as I type this…
Its not just a female trait, its a human trait. Flirting and creating sexual tension is not offering. Its more of a priming action.
Maybe thats the problem though. Your looking at it like its WORK. Flirting, teasing and creating interest and tension is fun not work. I think you should concentrate more on just enjoying your interaction with her and less on the outcome.
For instance I have been on the phone many times with Steve when he is heading to starbucks and once he is there. He flirts shamelessly with just about every waitress. He doesn’t have an agenda. he is not really pursuing, he just keeps creating that interest, comfort, connection and sometimes intimacy. Its as if he would never think in a million years they would say no if he did ask. Now this doesnt mean that he intends to ask. Doest even mean he is even interested. But he has set the stage already in case he is. He just go’s and enjoys himself. People respond to that comfort of self.
I dont think her not looking at your youtube channel is a negative or positive sign. Do I think more pursuing is in order. Yes I mentioned before it would take a bit more time. A bit more setting the stage and creating that connection and intimacy.
Ammo and IS are fine. You already indicated IH is not right for your chemistry so I wouldn’t suggest that. Maybe a little base of A314. How about P93 ? Do you have any of that ?
First let me say that “intimacy” does not refer to sex. Many people think straight to that when you mention the word intimate. Creating intimacy is harder to do on the when not in person like on the phone or texting. It can be done, I do it all the time in the forum but its takes practice for most plus Im an empath which makes that easier. To truly connect you need more senses in play then just the auditory ones.
To create intimacy you need to get rid of the agenda. Its happens when you connect verbally, (sharing) audibly (listening) visually (body language) and through touch (kino) . When you share your feelings, emotions and experiences. Not your feelings about her, it can be your feelings on just about any subject. All that talk we do in here about mirroring, kino, facial cues is part of creating that connection to intimacy.
For instance you had a chance to create more comfort and intimacy with her when you asked her the last time she went out to dinner. Yes she indicated she had a boyfriend but you could have asked her were she went, how was the food, told her you always wanted to try that place. (sharing your feeling) The boyfriend need never come into the conversation.
Sometimes that takes more then just a few brief meetings. Rome wasn’t built in a day and connections intimacy and relationships are not built in a few brief meetings. Often people think just because someone does not pick up on the “chemistry” right away that they are not interested. Some people just need more time then others. It doesn’t indicate anything but that.
Now if she started to avoid you or be short and clipped when she talked to you I would say she is just not into you.
So I wouldnt exactly give up right now, still try connecting. Maybe her boyfriend is a dick LOL. Boyfriends come and go. This way if he does go you already sert the stage to make the move. Now this doesnt mean concentrate all your attention on pursuing her either. Mildly Flirt with other waitresses to. Even the ones you have no intention of pursuing. Thats more likely to make her take that step to begin the chase.
I am sure your saw me post this before… Its like fishing. Dangle dangle dangle…pull away, they pursue a little, dangle dangle dangle some more… pull away. Each time the fish moves closer and closer till finally that perfect moment when you dont pull away and they bite. Takes patience and sometimes they slip away but when you catch one its worth the fun.
Snort See we are bonding and connecting already. Why because you shared what you think and feel and I do the same.
Edit to add… If we were having this conversation in person I would have been mirroring you, making constant eye contact and probably would have touched you at lest 6 to 10 times. Not inappropriately of course LOL. Thats how you build connection rapport and intimacy.
See we are bonding and connecting already. Why because you shared what you think and feel and I do the same. 