Between Two Worlds

Field Reports & Anecdotal Experience Men's Journals
141

Although a buzzkill, I’ve tried to keep my career path under wraps here. Suffice to say, I’m a professional trying to switch over into a niche which is usually very difficult for a person to get into. Forget about a person with practically no directly relevant experience.

You know what he said to me in the interview? He told me that my blue collar work was more impressive because of how long I stayed there and how stressful the job was. He actually doesn’t give a flip about my professional career so far because it isn’t directly relevant.

Man I really hope I get this job.

142

So do I! Keep us informed - my fingers and toes are crossed (and all the fashion victims know how hard that is in boots . . ) and keeping good positive thoughts for your progress.

143

I really want that job now…

because I just lost my old one. We got laid off. I saw it coming, so it wasn’t a shock. Some of my other co-workers had no idea, though. It was sudden to them.

Driving into work today I realized that I’ve been more talk than action in terms of getting out of my comfort zone. Some angry phone calls got me down last week, but I realized on the way to work that handling those things are just part of the territory. I can’t take it personally. In fact, I should invite the trials, not run from them.

About 5 years ago I started taking martial arts. I’m not exactly the type of guy that walks into a dojo, but I did it anyway. Well, in this particular type and style you get thrown to the ground, akin to Judo. It hurt and it was frightening, but I kept sticking with it. Eventually I got better and I actually enjoyed it. I no longer do any martial arts, because I don’t have the time, but it is an important lesson that I forgot about. I need to get thrown around so I can get used to it. That’s when I excel: when I get used to it.

During my drive, I resolved to be positive today. I resolved to take responsibility for things, take my lumps and not take things personally.

Wore some A314 today. Just 1-2 drops I took it like a man, but some other people didn’t. I don’t think the A314 really affected me, but it helped some other people. I went in to ask some friends how they were holding up after the news and they were all very upset. After 3 or 4 minutes of talking to them and being in a small area the tears stopped. I’m not terribly great at consoling people, but I think the fatherly A314 vibe gave my words some weight and allowed others to calm down. I’m happy that I could use my signature to help out others.

Now I would really like to get this other job. I doubt I’ll find out after Thanksgiving, but honestly, it doesn’t phase me. I have tons to be happy and thankful for. Even if I have to leave the country to find employment, I will do it. I am committed to finding happiness internally, not externally, and I’m pretty sure an adventure would help me find myself a little more.

144

Getting laid off sux, whether you see it coming or not. I personally, know lots of people that have been laid off in the last couple of years - one after 26years of “exceptional service to the company”.

I feel for you, dude. But, you’re in tons of good company. Keeping the digits crossed for you.

145

I wore two sprays of Mx400 again yesterday. It was at a party.

I noticed that I was a bit more reserved than usual with this mix, but I’m not exactly sure if it was the mix or if I need to center myself with positivity because of all the recent events in my life.

This mix causes either affection or attraction with females. I’m leaning towards affection but it could be steered to attraction. The last time I wore this at a party, I got some kino from a women in an LTR. She touched me on my upper thigh with her had to get my attention.

This time, I ended up sitting next to a woman and there was some contact, though not necessarily overt or sexual. She has a boyfriend, so she is off limits, however it seems like if we were alone I could have easily gone in for a kiss.

Another woman at the party, a girl that I’ve only seen twice in the past 4 years, asked me to be her date for a wedding. I said sure, but now I regret it. I would rather not go because I don’t really trust/respect her. She’s not a horrible person or anything, I just have a history with her and it didn’t end on good terms last time.

Mx400 is a nice mix, though. It feels like a very socially acceptable sexy, if that makes sense. Like I said though, I haven’t escalated a whole lot myself using this mix because I’ve tended to use it in environments where there were taken women, but that doesn’t mean they haven’t escalated with me! Consequently, I can’t tell you if this is more innocent touching by them or more sexual… but I have the belief that it is more on the sexual side.

Also, I really enjoyed this read from the deceased Michael Crichton detailing how men can do better arguing with women.

http://www.michaelcrichton.net/essay-playboy-howtofight.html

146

Interesting. I’ve read this a few times now and it actually always surprises me. I wonder what that molecule they removed to make this test pack was. It seems as if whatever it was it took IG to a level of alphaness without sex appeal, which is odd.

147

I honestly feel as though the kino levels are higher with this mix than with IG, but it could be situational and it could also be affection rather than attraction or a mix of everything.

I mean, I’m not going to complain about kino unless it turns out the kino is because the mones makes women put me into a girly-man territory without any chance of sexual escalation/tension.

148

I haven’t worn anything in the past two days. I want to cleanse my palate, so to speak.

Today one woman was more flirty. I don’t know what the issue was, but I suspect she was either high, completely lost her mind, or just can’t take it any more (or all three). It was pretty overt. She has good “man game,” meaning she has her C&F down as well her girlish flirting. Good stuff. She says things like, “you know you’ll miss me,” etc…

Good stuff. It’s nice to see the cumulative effects, especially when you aren’t wearing any mones.

149

I’m getting nervous knots in my stomach about my job situation. I still have some things that I’m wrapping up at work before I actually get canned, but I feel like I’m often placed between a rock and a hard place.

There are plans to jump ship and create my own job, but it would be quite the hustle and I have no idea if I could reasonably cover costs, much less make a living. I would really like to hear from this firm in the next three days.

Anybody have any advice?

150

Drinking a dry red wine and spraying enzymes to destroy cat urine brings part of a smell of Ammo into my nose. Not a complete Ammo smell, but half of it. Quite odd. Maybe I’m just more sensitive to certain smells now.

On the job front, I walked out the other day. The layoff wasn’t going to take effect for a little bit, but I decided that I didn’t want to help those uncaring idiots wind down the company.

151

I don’t think I’m going to use/test Mx400 anymore.

It seems like it either turns me into an introvert or it makes other people ghost me.

Last night I tried two sprays of Mx400 and it seemed to be too much and I wasn’t able to really get into a conversation until the mones were already gone or close to it. It was a group thing, and one of the guys is hilarious and dynamic, so he was the center of attention for much of the time he was in the group, but it seemed inordinately lopsided. Perhaps he was stealing my signature, I don’t know, but it seems equally as likely that the MX400 caused me to be ghosted for a while.

After a few hours things went much better.

152

Today I wore two sprays of Ammo and went to the barber. He couldn’t stop talking about how good looking I am and how I can get any woman I want. It was a nice little boost to my ego. He started talking about his fun times with women and how on his next birthday he’s going to go on the prowl for a girl who is young enough to get wet quickly.

He’s 88 years old.

I then drove through a fast food joint. I was nice to the cute girl at the first window. When I drove to the next window she walked all the way back to to hand me my order personally.

All I ordered was a drink.

Of course, there is the possibility that twins were involved. That would be nice. :slight_smile:

153

I’ve learned that when you are served by a cute chick at a drive through, you either act or you lose out. Chances are you won’t see her again and if you do it might make you look like a stalker. :slight_smile:

I missed plenty of opportunities that way.

154

http://www.gpo.gov/fdsys/pkg/BILLS-112s1867es/html/BILLS-112s1867es.htm

In the 1030 section.

155

I purchased “The Sound of Your Voice” by Dr. Carol Flemming. I will fill you in on how I change and perceive my voice and others as a result. Perhaps inflection of the voice is just as important as body language.

I’ve already started talking a little deeper. I do have a deep voice, but typically I’ve talked at a higher pitch just because it has always been much easier to hear people who don’t have a bass/baritone voice, so I was previously talking in a voice that wasn’t as attractive as possible.

I want to give off super cool vibrations with my voice alone.

Thinking out loud, I wonder if I will have to bring my body language energy down to match the deeper voice. I can’t think of any high energy baritone voices in a normal conversation that come off as cool.

156

I was able to smell Rev 23 and 29 of A314 side by side yesterday. I like 23 better as 29 seems to have a different smell that I don’t like as much. However, I think that 29 may have been altered in a way that allows for a higher concentration/focus than 23 had. I will have to play with it more.

That being said, I went out with some friends on Saturday night and there was a moment where I just didn’t know what to say. It makes me think that I need to work more on my game and I’m not sure how much I want to continue with mones outside of a work setting. I need to increase my skills before I can have any meaningful progress with the fairer sex and I don’t want to lean too heavily on mones.

My problems are mostly psychological/confidence issues as well as building up a basic skill set. They go hand in hand, but I would like to not have to rely on this stuff for positive reactions.

157

Resolutions for the next year:

Save these posts before submitting so the forum doesn’t delete everything.

Exercise and eat better. It doesn’t have to be a huge commitment, but an occasional run and oatmeal never hurt anybody.

Work on the outer game just as much as the inner game. I’ve concentrated more on the inner game just because of my own insecurities, but I was shut down recently a few times and it isn’t as bad as I remember it being. My inner game work really helped steady myself, but I know I’ve let opportunities slip by me because I don’t have the rest of things organized.

Learn Guitar. Why not?

Have fun with pheromones. That’s what they are for. I think I’m going to do a a certain segment of my work without pheromones, just because I don’t want to have a crutch.

Remove negative people from my life. I’ve been doing this, and I will keep doing it.

Be more assertive.

Create more opportunities for myself instead of waiting for them.

Get that job I want. If not, create my own damn job.

158

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd subscribed

159

Glad to know you enjoy reading this journal!

I went to a party this weekend. I made a point to not wear any mones, just because I wanted to interact with people without any influence. Working on things without mones for a little bit is the M.O., though I think I’ll switch back soon. I know that some A314 will find itself back in my life tomorrow. I’ve been doing some freelance work and I have a meeting with somebody tomorrow who may end up paying a couple months of my bills.

Long story short, the party started with three girls and myself. Another guy showed up to the party. He quickly had too much to drink and got really creepy with the ladies. Without giving out too many details, he was staring, touching/attempting to touch and saying things that shouldn’t be said. After many attempts to minimize his impacts, I ended up taking him home with much protest from him.

Too bad. Ruined my evening for the most part. I did spend some quality time with two of the women, though I wish it didn’t have to be punctuated with idiocy.

That being said, I took some important lessons from the evening. It was interesting to observe somebody being a creep. A good demonstration of what not to do in the extreme. It also reinforced/reintroduced the idea that I’m at a different phase in my life than many of my peers. I’m just not a drinker and I don’t go out trying to simultaneously get smashed and laid at the same time. I will continue to limit my exposure in this regard.

Additionally, I realized that I hate being a nice guy. I enjoy sharing things and connecting with people, but I don’t have a hero complex. There were one or two other men at the party who could have also stepped up to the plate. I think in future similar situations I’ll choose a different path. It wasn’t my responsibility to remove that person, it was the host’s and he didn’t step up to the plate. I’m not sure what different path means, but I’m going to avoid this group in a drinking setting. Not my cup of tea.

160

I wore 2 drops of A314 today with a potential client. He doesn’t think he needs my professional services yet, but I have a feeling that he will eventually call me to ask for some work done. Odd thing, though he handed me his business card and asked ME for a job.