Can't pick up this waitress...Help!

Field Reports & Anecdotal Experience Men's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports
1

First of all, I don’t really have a problem talking to girls. But for some reason I can’t quite get in there with this really cute girl at a diner I go to. I just can’t seem to speak. I can’t think of basic ice breakers. When I do talk to her my voice cracks a bit, & I stumble & slur over words. I’m nervous! And I don’t know why. And sometimes I just stick to being very quiet & mysterious. The other waitresses I talk to, but this one is a different story. I find myself wanting to date her & I don’t even know anything about her.

Now you’re reading this & coming up with a really excellent checklist of what I should say & do, & what pheromones I should wear. But here’s the major dilemma…her father is the cook & he’s about 5 feet away from her!

So what would you do? What pheromones would you wear? I mean, would you put on ammo or TUTH at all considering her father might pick up on some aggression? And I know this girl likes me. When she sees me coming in she turns her head & smiles.

Basic info: I’m 24 & she’s ~19/20. I’ve used IO, IH, a little TUTH, female magic, IS, IG…I’ve just about used em all to no success. So what’s my execution? What’s my combo?..Thanks!

2

Maybe start by getting to know the cook on a slow day? “Hey man, that was great! Etc. Etc.” If he likes you to start, he may not mind you dating his daughter…

-Bee

3

Hey, that’s a good suggestion Busybee. That didn’t come to mind.

At the same time, maybe starting a connection with the waitress first might be a good idea. Otherwise, if you develop a friendship with her father first, he can monopolize your time. Or at least, you become her father’s friend, not her friend.

Kinda like approaching one girl first, then the other, the other’s gonna think you’re more interested in the first since you approached her first.

I’d want the waitress to know she’s the reason I’m there. Being on good terms with her dad never hurts, but it should be about the girl, even if dad isn’t too happy about it.

Also, if her dad doesn’t approve, but she still wants to be in the relationship, it can make the relationship stronger. The two of you, sneaking away into the night away from the watchful eye of father. Reminds me of being a kid, get a little adrenaline rush.

Being bad can be oh so gooood. :smiley:

As for how to go about it, pheromone wise, game wise, I dunno.

First thing though, think of her as any other waitress. Maybe that’ll help your speech out. Don’t worry about openers? I dunno, I’m not really good at that, I just start talking and pick up conversational topics out of my environment and make it humorous.

Eventually though, you’ll want to be engaging her directly. Things about her, basically. You don’t wanna be limited to being funny about your surroundings. Sometimes you can state an opinion, and she might agree or disagree. If she responds either way with passion, you’ve got an opening. If you agree on views, cool, what else might you have in common? If you disagree, that’s a chance to playfully up the tension.

Either way, the common thread here is make yourself memorable and funny. That’s all I have, I’m no PUA. :stuck_out_tongue:

4

right on Phya,
Ok i realized after you said it that I had left something out… SiriusC, of course I think you should put the lady first. After all, you wanna date HER not her father right?:stuck_out_tongue: I think though that it might help to befriend the father at the same time. If she sees that you can get along with her family… But keep it as a side note.

-Bee

5

Phya, you’re so right on that second note. I just got back from there & I tried to open up a conversation but it was shot down pretty quickly. I think that a reason for that is I talk to the other waitresses just fine, but hardly ever to her. So she might feel intimidated?

I had perfect talking points too. She put on a sweatshirt of a small town in FL half an hour away from my hometown. I went with that but she just gave me one word answers :frowning: As far as the father goes, we’re always very nice but not too talkative. In other words, he’s not giving me the evil eye.

Pheromones wise, I think I might’ve gotten a cold response because I was wearing a bit too much of A314. I intended 2 drops, but the dropper is all screwed up so about 5 drops worth came out. I also had on IH 4x, 1 shot. I figured she’d wanna elaborate on some basic talking point, but she was looking at me like I’m an alien…

6

No combo in the world will necessarily overcome the underlying social dynamics. You’re focusing too much on the pheromones. It is but a mere ingredient in the equation which allows you a limited control of social variables based upon their means of influencing outcome. Of course this is the place to focus such aspect is it not?

Honesty 4x and Instant Shine.

If you’re convinced her father doesn’t have the evil eye on you, then simply don’t be awkward. Casually reveal the underlying awkwardness, along with your will.

“I really like you, so would it be really awkward for me to ask you out for coffee in front of your father?”

Take that and make it into something you would actually say. Aside from all the stuttering, stumbling, slurring, and crackling. What one sees as quiet and mysterious can be seen as quiet and creepy by others. Quiet and mysterious only works on those that are actually intrigued by the mystery.

How you make the situation is how you will react to it. The higher you raise the stakes internally, the more difficult it will become.

You must be really consumed by her. :smiley:

7

Outstanding, Pheraoh! I really liked what you said, about the internal & external.

I’m actually not thinking about the pheromones that much. I know that most “results” are dependent on how I act. But that combo I will try.

I dont think I’m giving a creepy vibe. I mean, I do have conversations with the other girls & sometimes I just keep to myself. And when I do stay quiet I’m doing some work. So it’s not like I’m just sitting there staring.

And I didn’t think I was all that consumed by her. But in taking a different perspective, I guess I am! I think the fact that it’s so hard for me to talk to her but not the others is what makes me want her more. We’ll see…

8

What was her connection to that small town? If it’s insignificant, then that might warrant a one word answer. If that’s her home town and she doesn’t speak much on it, then maybe she didn’t like home. You could always comment/ask about that.

Maybe she’s bored or has been asked about that shirt all day.

Wow, 5 drops? Too much man. That could be the intimidation you’re seeing. Try 1-2 drops of A314. IH is great, but sometimes the high concentration of IH4x can throw people off, consider throwing in a little IO or straight a-nol to balance it a bit better. Or, if you can, try a half spray.

Instant Shine is always a great addition, if you have some, try 1-2 sprays. I think if you focus on socials, you’ll be headed in the right direction.

9

That can work, you know . . . You do realize that this indirect attack is exactly what the Mystery Method is based on, in a way. Disarm the “friend” (or brother, or father, or whatever it may be) first, acknowledging the existence of the target but not much more. Then after you’ve won all her friends over turn your attention to her.

Since you haven’t been paying any attention to her, no one will think much of it. Since all her friends like you already, she’ll be that much more likely to be initially receptive.

I don’t do really do this, so I’m just reciting what I’ve read elsewhere. Just so you know, reading Mystery’s stuff will seriously mess up your mind and your vocabulary for a while. I personally prefer David DeAngelo’s newsletters. They just seem much more natural and less devious to me.

10

Never said it wouldn’t work, in fact, I thought it was a good idea. I was simply providing an opposing perspective. It could work, it could not work. I’d say it partly depends on her relationship with her dad. If she relates to him, or is otherwise trusting of him (his judgment) then it might be favorable to win her dad’s friendship. Otherwise, if she does not relate, or cannot trust her dad, then you might be aligning yourself up with the wrong side. Think bad girl, goody two shoes guy, watchful dad. Goody two shoes is friendly with dad and being honest, always reveals bad girl’s plans. Bad girl wouldn’t want to hang with goody two shoes anymore, she’d want to hang with bad guy, and bad guy could give a fuck how friendly he is to her dad. Or the reverse, good girl, bad dad, good/bad guy. Dad is abusive towards daughter, good guy is friendly and thinks dad is a good guy. Girl is sad/angry that good guy won’t believe her that dad is bad. A bad guy might just justify her dad’s treatment. I dunno, getting a little overboard here…

With her friends, she obviously relates to them, or trusts their judgment, to a degree, otherwise she probably wouldn’t be friends with them. But..either way, who knows, I could be completely off the mark. Like I said, I’m no PUA.

11

You might just have to bite the bullet and ask her out…

-Bee