also these:
I’ve observed what appears to me as quite a bit of alcoholism being justified through PUA culture… in essence it isn’t about getting women as much as it’s about having a plausible cover story for heavy drinking…
Now that’s what I’m talkin’ about. The part of confidence that comes from the knowledge that you have been guided, trained, practiced, honed by masters in all the facets of life. Confidence by both practiced and trained competence. Being forged by strenuous experience in this crucible of life is essential. But the teaching that is passed to us from earlier generations is where we find refuge in the knowledge that we are not alone in our quests. While higher acedemic learning is of great value in building intellectual competence, it was for most of us, only a precious few years of our life. We should not undervalue the contributions to our character from the people who taught us the skills and vocations of everyday life. Many of those teachers had only the learning of life’s experiences. One of the things that I value in my life is my affinity for steel. The man who taught me the difference between cherry red and white hot was nearly blind by the time I knew him. I doubt that he could read much even when he could see. But he taught me to read the character of a piece of steel. While direct personal experience is essential in any learning process, it is a looong, slooow process with out the guidance of a teacher. What does this have to do with confidence in social situations? Nothing directly. But each skill is one more arrow in the quiver. It is the experience of competency in many areas of life that brings self respect. As our beautiful Butterfly makes the point, the greater the variety of skills, the richer the tapastry of character we weave.
Confidence is the value that grows from character, which is created by a demonstrated competency in the experience and study of a variety of skills and knowledge.
I wrote the promised post on how to become confident, and as Oohyah mantions, it shows that confidence and character are tightly interwoven; character gives you a lasting sense of inner peace and connectedness. Tradition also brings inner peace and connects you to your land and culture.
Coincidentally, the other night me and a friend were having a drink at the bar and a couple guys chat us up. The one talking to me used mainly natural sounding stuff, while the one with my friend told her he was going to ask 5 questions and she said she thought he was a promotor trying to sell something and she felt like she was on a job interview.