For the longest time I have been confused about something. Sometimes when talking to women wether i know them well or not I will notice they well try to cover their cleavage every couple minutes or so. Hand or arms in front , pulling shirt or jacket tighter, that kind of thing. I always wonder is it me or them. Do they think I am looking at their breasts or is it just something that is normal for women to do. At times I find myself actually looking at their breasts because their hands keep going there drawing attention to that area.
I guess I’m curious to know if that is a positive sign like playing with hair or is it saying “I dont trust you”. Or I am reading too much into it? Ladies, your insight would be much appreciated.
my belief is subconciously your being viewed as friend material and they are aware of the message they are sending out with the cleavage.
im answering because this is a topic i genuinely find hilarious.
women who show off their cleavage are asking to be looked at.
i dont care what anyone says.
as a woman, you are NOT required to wear revealing clothes so that you “can breathe” LOL
usually a woman wearing revealing clothing is wanting someone specific to be checking them out, but they are uncomfertable with the rest of the world who they dont want viewing there- viewing there.
being a bartender i saw this rediculous response nightly.
so my response here is that unless your drooling, and it sounds as if you are not, they are having issues with their sexuality.
Although there are other things it could be, it’s doubtful. One other thing is she could be drawing your attention to what she wants you to see. Possible, but the question is where are her eyes when she is doing this. Body language is always grouped.
I wonder what would happen if you experimented with showing a little active disinterest/presenting a challenge. It’s a delicate thing and easy to cross the border into insulting. But, for example, I like Mehow’s surrealist approach to things. “Those are beautiful nails. How did a cute little space alien like you manage to put them on”.
Also, when you talk to them, how is your body language? Do you tend to face them with your body and lean in a little? Try facing your body sideways and leaning neutral to back. There is a good Pickup 101 video on body language and physical confidence.
An economist friend of mine says how much women dress up/wear make up etc is predicted by the prospective return to finding a good mate. Ie male:female ratios, income inequality, class mobility, divorce laws etc. I haven’t thought about it very carefully, but I thought it was an interesting idea.
i would have to add here though, from a female point of view, i sometimes get frilly knowing i wont be seen. gals just want to be pink and cute.
its just difficult for me as a woman to think how i wish to appear on the outside has anything to do with mating; especially since i dont always want a mate in my life.
but the concept is definately an interesting one to study.
i would follow that up if you had additional info
The problem is that consciousness/our rational self is arguably an illusion. So it’s very difficult to know why one is doing something. There is a burgeoning literature on self-deceit etc. (It’s a very economistic thing to do, to study behaviour wrt model that may be unflattering and not literally true but that nonetheless yields insights if one pretends that people behave ‘as if’ the model were true. This is one of the reasons I think people find many of the PUA literature, Tyler Durden in partic, to be misogynistic. If Gary Becker were a PUA he might write like TD
I’ll dig up what I can - but that sort of perspective often appears at Tyler Cowen’s blog on marginalrevolution.com
I had ample opportunity to observe this on my recent vacation. Worse yet is when behaviorally, the messages are all mixed and make no sense. A woman I know makes herself available to guys as the butt of their (flirty) sexual jokes (blatant come-ons), poo-poo’s other women in the vicinity for their revealing attire, but then balks when the boys push HER too hard (despite her [revealing but less so than her enemies’] attire and loose boundaries to sexual jokes/come-ons).
This kind of mixed message and, frankly, ineptitude at sexual game-play, irritates the hell out of me. Too many women are way out of touch with their sexuality and have no idea how to manage it.
On the subject of pulling shirts down/covering cleavage, in my experience there have been days when I’m not feeling so great AND i have a wardrobe malfunction (something’s too loose/too tight/doesn’t fit well/makes me feel icky/is unflattering) and that is when I’ve found to do the pulling/tugging/covering. When I want to draw attention to myself I show off and welcome it, and covering up or tugging/pulling is the LAST way I would want to draw attention because I think that comes off as scaredy-cat girl and basically puts a big “victim” target right between your shoulders.
I’m not even paying attention in these instances until there is all that action around the cleavage area. Then it is very hard not for my eyes to stray down there. But come to think of it these mostly are women I think of as friends, or women who I have no interest in and that I would think have no interest in me. Its hard for me to recall this behavior when I was trying to get with someone or I felt someone was into me.
I’m so confused…
few days ago I was talking to this girl from a summar class I’m taking. I initially thought this girl was really interested in me.. first day of class she wouldn’t stop looking at me… but any ways.. a few days ago I spoke to her during a break (not one-on-one) and asked her… “what I wanna know is where you go that you keep getting sunburnt all the time…” I said this in a friendly-joking voice and smiled at the same time. She freq. likes to sit in front of me and I keep noticing tan lines and lots of sun-burn on her back. This time, however, (we are facing each other) she laughs covers up her (huge) cleavage for a few seconds and then explains…
does this action mean “friend-status?” Was she embarassed that I might’ve noticed from her sun-burnt cleavage?
i wouldnt read into that at all. sounds like she was more embarrassed by the burn, less her cleavage.
i wouldnt quickly call you and her friend-status.
i would leave that open for more review.
the fact that she gabbed about it after the comment tells me she didnt mind you noticing.
