from sebastian drake - masterthevibe.com
The Cost/Worth Conception
The Cost/Worth Conception says people think things are worth what
they pay for them. People will rationalize after paying a price tag
that an item was worth it. Things that are free or cheap will be
taken for granted or written off as poor quality.
For instance, look at all the entertainment activities available in
a given city. Many of the most fun and enjoyable activities don’t
carry “prestige” or a strong desire to do them, precisely because
they are so freely available. When someone has the opportunity to
do something that’s pricey, it becomes something “special” and to
be cherished - and this is by and large because of the cost.
Cost/Worth says people think things are worth what they cost - so
if your cost is zero, you’re vibing that you’re not worth anything.
Which is no good.
When She Works For You, She’ll Realize She Likes You
As she puts in work to get you, she’ll think to herself that she
must like you. It goes like this:
“I just bought Sebastian a present… I never buy stuff for guys…
huh, I must really like him.”
Content With Not Having Her Work…
A great many men are comfortable with working for a high quality
girl, and making it easy for her to get with him. Many men do not
mind being the knight in shining armor who slays dragons and quests
for his fair maiden, going through great hurdles and challenges to
get her. And in the past, this was a viable way of doing things.
The only problem is that there is a set of socially elite men in
the world right now who will have their women do a great many
things towards the interaction and relationship, and really have
the woman work hard to be with them. So when a man is willing do
anything and everything to please a woman without her putting
anything into the interaction, she thinks:
“I really worked hard to snag Sebastian… and I bought him
presents and helped him clean up his place a lot… now I didn’t have
to work hard to snag my new guy, and he’s buying me all kinds of
gifts, and I’m not even helping him clean his place or cooking
dinner or doing anything nice for him. Why? Hmm… I must not like
him as much as I liked Sebastian.”
Crazy but true! This pattern of rationalization means if your girl
is not working as hard to get, impress, and keep you as she did for
the guy who made her work the most her whole life, she’s going to
size you up accordingly. Women compare relentlessly to analyze
their feelings and where they stand with men. Women’s barometer of
men is based completely on their interactions with other men - and
these days, if she’s a worthwhile girl, she’ll get exposed to an
elite man that she willingly and happily puts in effort towards.
They Like Working, Too…
The #1 cited reason that men pay for women, do nice things for
women, and try to impress women excessively is that, “I enjoy doing
it.”
It rings true… most people do legitimately enjoy helping others,
especially people they care about. Just realize it’s noble and
unselfish of you, and frankly necessary, to give her the joy of
helping you. Women legitimately enjoy helping out a high quality
guy, and putting in effort towards getting him.
The Work Starts at Conversation
The dynamic gets set up early: One thing that is excellent is to
get the woman participating early in the interaction. By the first
date at the latest, you want her being an active participant in the
conversation, and if you can get her doing 60% to 80% of the
talking while you listen actively, encourage her to continue, and
occasionally inject something really cool - then you’re in great
shape. Three techniques for you to do that are showcasing,
interactive feedback storytelling, and thread amplification. But
first, remember this if nothing else:
“You can’t talk a woman into your bed - she talks herself into your
bed.” - This has long been joked on theApproach Live Training
Programs, and there is much truth in it. Your conversational
structures should be built to allow her to interrupt at every
opportunity, as that is the absolute best possible result when
you’re talking. You use threadcutting after she interrupts to guide
the conversation where you want it to go.
Pausing is Crucial
Pause at the end of every sentence. Arnold, one of the top-ranked
instructors at theApproach, says: “Take two breathes between every
sentence - one for you, and one for the other person.” Pause for
emphasis and pause between every single sentence. By doing so,
you’ll fill more time by saying less and come across more powerful
and mysterious. People with an excellent grasp on conversation who
are confident speak slowly and pause because they know people are
interested. People who know they are low value speak very quickly,
rightfully assuming that no one wants to listen to them. So before
anything else, speak slowly and remember to pause - pausing gives
you an opportunity to collect your thoughts, and her an opportunity
to jump in.
Technique: Showcasing
Showcasing is a technique that great conversationalists naturally
do all the time. What you want to do is to insert themes not
directly related to the matter at hand in passing. This flushes the
world around you out and gives her an opportunity to jump in and
interrupt.
So if you were going to say,
“I went out drinking with my friend yesterday, and…”
You could instead start with,
“So work was absolutely nuts yesterday, my boss is crazy, and I
finally get done and am going out drinking with my friend…”
Most of the time, you’ll just continue normally with the story
uninterrupted, but you did add a couple additional details. Some of
the time, though, the girl will go, “Oh my God, what’d your boss
do? My boss is psycho too.”
Similar examples:
“I had just finished eating lunch at this really awesome Thai place
when…”
“I hadn’t been in (where I live) long from (vacation I was on) when…”
Flush out people’s characters by describing things about them
whenever they come up.
So instead of, “I was going to the baseball game with my friend
George, and we had good seats”, you go, “I was going to the
baseball game with my friend George… cool cat, he’s from the
Dominican originally and actually played a ton of baseball growing
up. Anyway, we had good seats…”
By flushing out those random details, you give your story life, and
“showcase” new subjects that she can jump in if she’s really
interested in. They don’t have to be things that are particularly
amazing, just filling in the edges with more potential topics means
you and your girl are more likely to connect on one - and she’s
more likely to jump into conversation.
Technique: Getting Interactive Feedback
Never, ever “monologue” at a girl. That’s where you tell a big,
long story while she just sits there and listens. Bad things come
of it. Instead, you want to get interactive feedback on your stories.
To keep your stories feeling spontaneous and full of energy, and
make her participate a little even when you’re in the middle of a
story, ask her small questions - yes/no questions are fine - and
then modify your response to what she says based on her answer.
Then you continue with your story. Example:
“We were hanging out in Times Square in Manhattan… have you ever
been to Manhattan?”
If she says yes, you nod and continue, “Okay, so we were at Cafe
Europa eating one of those damn good sandwiches…”
If she says no, you say, “Okay… it’s maybe the brightest, biggest,
flashing tourist place on Earth. But this one place, called Cafe
Europa, has this pretty laid back feeling even though it’s really
busy. They have really good sandwiches, and I was eating one…”
Creating these little yes/no moments that change the arc of your
story makes it feel like you’re talking with her, keeps her fresh
and engaged, and makes you a more interesting storyteller.
Especially if you tell the same stories with any frequency, keep
them interactive and people will like hearing them more than once
as you tell in groups.
Technique: Thread Amplification
This is a fun one. Whenever a girl puts in good behavior, such as
complimenting you, praising you, saying she likes something you
like, or anything else that you deem a good thing - make it bigger.
For instance, if she compliments you with:
“I like your style” - then play out this little fun interaction.
Her: “I like your style.”
You: "What was that?
Her: “I like your style.”
You: “C’mon, no you don’t.”
Her: “No really, I do.”
You: “Oh? What do you like about?”
Her: “Well, I like your…”
A thread amplification is something that makes the sentence bigger.
It starts off with the weakest one, which is not hearing her - that
makes her repeat herself once. It then goes into the strongest and
second strongest kinds of thread amplification. The strongest is
arguing with a person. Please remember this:
NEVER ARGUE WITH ANYONE UNLESS YOU AGREE WITH WHAT THEY’RE SAYING
Arguing makes people dig deeper into their positions, and according
to an unscientific poll, no one has ever had their mind changed,
ever, by having someone argue with them. So, only argue with a girl
when she says something you like:
Her: “I like to cook.”
You: “YOU like to cook? No way…”
Her: “I think you’re really cute”
You: “Nahh, you’re just flattering me.”
Her: “I play video games with guys I go out with.”
You: “No girls play video games.”
Her responses will be:
(What? Of course I like to cook!)
(No, I do think you’re cute!)
(Well, I happen to play video games!)
Arguing with people makes them get stronger in their position. Do
it only when you agree with someone.
Finally, asking for clarification and elaboration flushes out what
they meant, and makes a person more attached to their position.
“How’s that work?”
“Break it down for me.”
“Explain that…?”
“I don’t get it…”
“How so?”
“What’d you like about it?”
And so on. You can combine all three occasionally to really get the
girl digging deep into a position, and she’ll believe much more
strongly in it after that.
By the way - you’ll see examples of ALL of these conversational
techniques in next month’s edition of MastertheVibe - so sign up
today so you don’t miss it. Start here:
http://www.masterthevibe.com/faq.html
Check out the FAQ, and click “Order Now” at the bottom. You owe
yourself this - MastertheVibe is THE most cost-effective way of
getting your social life in amazing shape. So order! If you don’t
like it, keep the disc and get your money back. Zero risk.
Day 7: Getting Fluid
Learn about Fluidity in Motion, how to slow down your movements so
that you have a calm, cool energy and move at a different pace from
the rest of the world. Stand out by being smooth, slow, and fluid,
and never scurrying through the world.
… find a teacher who can run you through a long set of the advanced Repetition Exercise… this is the most invaluable tool in your social kit… and from NLP take the part about engaging all of the sense modalities… combine the two and you have a new creature, and a potent one at that… curiously, Meisner greatly supports NLPs “senosry acuity” approach, as Meisner comples you to notice, and comment on what you notice: