david wygant - be present

[PheroQuirk]

Don’t Be An iPod Isolationist | Dating Tips and Dating Advice by David Wygant

So many people who complain all the time about not being able to meet someone are the same people who are plugged into their iPod all day long every day. Those people who walk around plugged into their iPod, not looking at anyone and texting people all day long, are the iPod isolationists.

The reason why you iPod isolationists have trouble meeting people is because the only thing you have going on is your iPod. When you’re out in public, do not be an iPod isolationist.

v similar point to what tacitus wrote about here some years ago (he was concerned also about poor body consciousness)

[moonwhisper]

I think the gadgetry has effectively taken over. It is amazing to me how much time each day people spend staring at glowing electronic rectangles. And how little time they spend actually living.

People beware of the gadgets, they could be ruining your chances with the opposite sex. I, for one, would be offended if you answered your cell phone during dinner, or interrupted our conversation to send a text message. I can’t stand trying to talk to someone who is wearing one ear bud and trying to give equal attention to it and me.

When did these things take such priority that real people and real living gets shoved to the back burner??

[PheroQuirk]

http://www.pheromonetalk.com/search.php?searchid=396655

@tacitus

look your damn best… lose the 25 pounds of body encasing lard, the last stand of fat layer that everyone pretends they don’t see when they look in the mirror, get your aerobic shape up to snuff, everyone has a primal radar for heart health… a strong heart radiates sexy energy like nothin’ else you can buy or apply… strong cornonaries, sir or madam… oh, yeah, absolutely… get the friggin’ sugar out, and I mean as completely out as you reasonably can… sugar causes giant bursts of insulin, and insulin for reasons guys like Dr. Perricone go into, makes your skin look like shit. That is, large swings of insulin do… it acts as a pro-aging skin inflammatory… walk with energy, have a wide perceptive cone of consciousness… consciousness is awesomely sexy… low consciousness, text message obsessing is NOT SEXY… it is rude, clueless, and alienating… I know some damn fine women who e-mail me about their latest dates with this fabulously rich investment banker or whatever and how lousy the date was even though they spent a fortune on wine, dinner, opera.. ‘cause the guy wasn’t emotionally present, she felt like a second rate citizen to his friggin’ communication doo-hicky… minimize the piece of crud and learn to be emotionally present… be a good listener… most of corporate america has a pathology of graduating the worst damn listeners, or the most arrogant, narrowminded assholian selective listeners, like they get all involved and rewarding when they hear exactly what they want to hear, and then go into le Royale Toon Owt Mode when their egos aren’t on the massage table… same douchebags that keep the premium liquor market alive, not to mention the upper echalon drug dealers, get drunk and completely flip out with regularity at Manhattan night clubs and bars… lesson here, big ass big time… you want to CONNECT ? Lose the ego.. like now. Polish the listening skills. Stop eating junk food. Read a few books that you consider to be one notch over your head and practice speaking and thinking like an educated person. Be a human being. Always, always, always keep your teeth maintained to perfection, brushed, flossed, and use the listerine advanced formula before any human interaction… nothing to my knowledge blows a good presentation like even the hint of bad breath, especially milk or milk product breath, make your breath smell like an aged basque cheese, OK on salads, foul commin’ atcha… dress well and intelligently… understyle it, a great fit is 1000 times sexier than crying for attention… use a GREAT fragrance and don’t bitch about the cost, NEVER think you can get away with generic crap, you won’t. Ever.

Oh yeah, and this one killer point. Always know what you are talking about and know it one level deeper than you talk about it, preferably two levels. Never talk about stuff you don’t know as if you do know. Or preface any subject with “this isn’t my specialty, and I may not be entirely correct in saying this”… nothing beat self aware humility, because you get a reputation for being truthful and reflective… this will ultimately distinguish you from the ocean of blatherers and half truth spewing pseudo-authorities. Like Mark McCormack

Mark McCormack - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

so wisely expressed it, always undersell and overdeliver. If you can do this, you’re far ahead of the pack.

Oh, by the way, people aren’t as dumb as they often look. They’ve frequently learned that their survival depends on playing dumb, or in the case of women, the simple bimbo… you might be amazed at what you learn, hear, discover when someone opens up to you.

OTOH, other people are a lot emptier than they appear.. because in many positions in life, surprisingly many senior positions, one has reached the age and staus where one cannot afford to be conscious.

Meaning, you have to be well attuned to the subtle messages and nuances at all times, don’t take the surface impression for the full story…

We’re not living in a body conscious age
This is the age of the mind-body disconnect… no thanks to the cell phone and all things wireless… levels of body awareness… sheer physical self sensation, being em-bodied… feelingness, whatever all that was, reached an apex during the late '70s and early '80s… then I began to notice it tapering off until now the average New Yorker radiates body numbness and automaton physicality… then they watch TV or go to the movies to see people who are trained in body awareness… virtual sensuality I 'spoze… this is actually sort of a hoot because at my age most of the time I couldn’t care less but even as a grey old guy with a moderate gut I spot attractive, much younger women checking me out, making eye contact, one even started talking to me and would not detach as we were walking down the street, no pheromones or anything, and she’s trotting along, babbling some jive, like, you’re a celebrity right, what were you in ? Cripes, I’m only hoping the Duane Reed pharmacy has some extra strength Tylenol for my sore joints and this babe is rattling some star struck arglebargle… I gently pry her off me like pulling a strip of hair removal wax off my asscrack and send the lovely thing away to terrorize somebody else that fine day… what is up with this ? The average porkable dude is so lacking in body mojo that a creaky old lech like me gets taken seriously as a contender in the game ? Well, I may a creaky old guy but I do do a lot of Alexander technique and other physical consciousness stuff, do my crazy shite on stage in front of horrified audiences, so there must be some powerful subliminal physical signal(s) both of the facial and of the body-totality that triggers unconscious/brainstem responses in the lizard brains of others… whatever that mysterious mojo is, those who make it as our top stars must have extra energy in their cerebellum or what ? I’d betcha the whole store that it’s that indescribable star quality reptilian mind thing PLUS pheromones that produces the devastating result.

Shoot man, you have to be realistic about your totality
The brain appears to be profoundly hardwired to pick up on physical grace or the lack thereof… After a while, make that a long while and plenty of direct experience, I could begin to tell the level of sexual energy of women by their physical coordinations… and I’m sure they make the same pre-conscious ratings of men… there’s a certain type with high bodily coherence, or congruity … a free, well balanced, well orchestrated graceful sense of self that indicates their libido is comfortably integrated into their whole sense of self… these girls have the necessary body-mind connection for excellent sex… they also tend to have a balanced body-mind response to phermones… OTOH… those persons, male or female who have a more fragmented body-mind consciousness, sometimes these are narcissistic people who are over invested in surface presentations, or sometimes repressed due to rigid family structures, or just haven’t developed good “other awareness” empathic skills, don’t tend to do as well with pheromones because the core personality structures aren’t as solidly formed… for whatever ever reasons, women who have too much bought into the Hollywood plastic perfection gig are not as erotically present (often by a long shot) as some well grounded Venezuelan babe or Alsatian farm girl… the take home insight is that cultures do matter, cultures matter a whole lot as to how one expresses one’s self, how one relates to other people, how on measures oneself, how one relates sexually to another person, what it means to be sexual with another person, how you initiate being sexual, how you listen to another person… … I hate to make this generalization… but a whole lot of college aged kids these days do not appear to have very much body-mind connection… I don’t think the majority of them have ever experienced great sex… the sure don’t look like they have much good sex… so lost in their heads, glued to their communication gadgets… their minds three distant places at once… I mean, sure, they may have a lot of physical activity that would look like sex on videotape… does that translate into the subtle energetics of sexuousness ? Can pheromones, by themselves, open the energetic gates that make great sex possible ? IMHO some much deeper self exploration, self knowledge vision quest is needed to have the personal bedrock to build these structures on… like going to Tibet for three months with absolutely no cellular anything, only relating with people face to face, bare minimum of media culture, televisions, videogames, all those randomizing, fragmenting distractions that too many kids think “the cannot live without”… take them away and the withdrawal symptoms would be worse than getting someone off lab grade Burmese heroin… bacause they would have a major neurolocial relearning curve ahead of them… this part of the brain called the perietal lobe seems to be underused, or partially disabled by overexposure to Media Crap… sort of like rehabilitating a population of stroke victims… that don’t know they’re stroke victims…

@tacitus

Less is more.
You wouldn’t think this first crack off the bat. I think I’ve had my best results from two things, a lot of vocal TRAINING, not listening to CDs or reading books, but working with a good teacher… even my ex-wife says she hardly recognizes me on the phone and she likes the improvement… more unexpected, instead of a deeper, gravelly voice it gave me a more youthful, fresher voice like a younger guy… a lot of guys mess up by trying to sound deep and rich and then sound like hung over oafs. I’ve heard so many “masters” with self defeating verbal tics and tonal problems, four highly regarded NLP “masters”, or self promoted as such, and you’re thinking, WHO is going to take these guys (and gals) seriously ? There will forever be a glass ceiling over their heads when it comes to whatever they’re pitching…

The second thing is high level of body awareness, I do a ton of Alexander technique and associated body consciousness activities, all the time, when I’m up, down, depressed, tuned up, I keep on working the motor neurons… many, many people today have poor body/spatial/situational awareness, they’re kind of mindlessly trundling along like they’re on a conveyor belt or something, or sitting there imploded in their personal mind space, like their sphere of consciousness is about the size of a ping pong ball… the thing is that people with high level body awareness are interesting, even captivating to watch, even their simple movements are kind of poetic and absorbing…

I say these two girls walking down the beach in their sexy bikinis, one was more outwardly beautiful but her posture was somewhat stiff and artificial, and the second girl wasn’t so visually excellent but she moved with an animal vitality that was such a turn on. Pretty soon I wasn’t even aware of the first girl…

There is a hard to describe thing, the congruity of the body, the voice, the thought processes, the clothing that all merge into a coherent expression of someone, it is essential that everything makes sense in terms of the whole self-system..

[chads]

I know of at least one kid in my area who roller bladed in front of a tractor and was killed because he had an ipod on and couldn’t hear it.

I was in a vehicle where another kid walked out in front of it with an ipod on but we managed to stop before we ran him over.