there is alot of talk about what constitutes a positive “hit”, and i was wondering…
what kind of signals tip off each gender as to a hit in professional situations? for instance : your in an office setting, or your in the company of certain persons trying to “lay low”. your wearing pheromones that may be getting the attention of someone your talking to, but they cant tell you or allude to it… how is it you can tell something is happening? what might be some easily overlooked gestures or subconcious things either gender might do to unknowingly tip us off??? cant even WAIT to hear the descriptions, from pheromone vets and newbies alike!!!
I hope this is helpful. I copy/pasted this from an e-book. It is a basic primer on body language.(Hope it isn’t too hard to read without spaces between the paragraphs.:o )
Body Lang 101
Understanding Body language
Body Language vs. Verbal Language
Are you frustrated by lies - white or otherwise? Deliberately misrepresented
information, concealed emotions, and hidden motives wreck havoc on daily
conversations as well as on critical business negotiations.
Most individuals cannot detect poisoned facts smothered with silken words and
laced with an impressive vocal tone. Well-placed words hide duplicity so well that
even average individuals get away with it.
Concealing fabrications with words is easy. No doubt, even a child can do it. For
the layman, trying to detect lies by analyzing the words that carry them is futile.
Judging the validity of a statement based on the sentence structure cannot yield
much unless one wields background knowledge of the topic in question.
But while verbal language can hide the truth, body language cannot.
Note how our speech is peppered with colorful speech like
• Recoil in anger
• Grit his teeth
• Freeze with terror
• Tremble with rage
• Shudder with fear.
The body conveys how a person feels. Someone doesn’t say “I’m shaking in fear”.
His body does this automatically to convey that he is indeed afraid. The body
reveals more than such obvious emotions, however. It does much more.
Body language. It is the final barometer of the truth. It bares and reveals innermost
thoughts. Anyone can tell a tall tale in a flat tone and appear credible. The tongue
is so glib it can make the most outrageous appear factual.
The body is not as endowed in trickery, however. Your tongue may say one thing,
and your body may say the exact opposite. It very rarely lies. Studying the body
can identify whether an individual believes in what he utters. It also reveals how
he may feel at the moment. In fact, it lays before you an entire range of emotions
unconveyed by his faculty of speech.
But understanding body language does more than help identify the current mental
state of others. Expert knowledge of this nonverbal form of communication
empowers you to project any image desired. This is where its study becomes so
invaluable. Body language helps set the appropriate environment to persuasion.
A master uses body language to subliminally influence his prospects. He creates
irresistible messages that subconsciously persuade and control. Through special
gestures, he communicates in a very subtle, yet forceful way. By combining verbal
persuasion with subtle non-verbal persuasion, compliance becomes all too easy to
obtain.
Body language can identify you as calm, confident, and credible. Just as easily, it
can reveal you to be shaky, unstable and questionable. The objective is to use
body language that identifies you as cooperative, likeable, charming and
authoritative.
Three Powerful Benefits You Gain From Body Language Mastery
You quickly identify the hidden emotions of others. Negotiations become easier
when you instantaneously identify areas of discussion that causes discomfort.
Normally, emotions are kept in check. Disagreement, for instance, can be
manifested externally by continuous rejection of an idea. Body language pinpoints
right away the topic provoking uneasiness and causing the rejection of valid ideas.
Once identified, the area of concern can be subjected to compromise.
You armor yourself with a perfectly tailored image. By knowing which body
language adds or detracts from your desired image, you create the perfect “you” in
the eyes of others.
You can create an environment of instant rapport between yourself and your
prospects by adopting bodily postures that subtly conveys openness,
trustworthiness, confidence and credibility.
Grasping the fundamentals and the benefits now empowers you to start using the
potent force of body language.
How to “Listen” with the Eyes
The cardinal rule when reading the body is to look out for a coherent cluster of
any of the following:
• Facial expressions
• Gestures, body movements
• Tone of voice/ pace of voice
Taken by themselves, individual expressions or gestures mean nothing. But a
group of them, occurring simultaneously, can positively identify significant
emotions. Take its analogy in verbal communications where a word conveys
nothing; a sentence says something.
In non-verbal communications, a cluster of gestures and expressions which all
betray a single disposition strongly indicate the current mood or mindset of your
prospect. Before concluding that someone experiences a certain emotion, check
the whole range of gestures, expressions and tones of voice. Ensure that the facial
expressions, gesture and voice tone all reveal the same message and do not give
conflicting signals. Once you discern your prospect’s disposition, you will know
exactly how to modify your approach.
The following sections cover:
• The specific body parts and its hidden language.
• The emotions conveyed by certain body language clusters.
**Brief Body Language Alphabet
Body Language of the Head
***Eyes
*Direct eye contact occurring 60% of the time indicates that the prospect is very
interested in what you have to say.
Eye contact occurring 80% of the time tells that the prospect is interested in you
sexually.
100% eye contact indicates aggression. Be forewarned of resistance.
Frequent avoidance of eye contact reveals that a prospect may be hiding
something. It may also reveal subordination and lack of confidence.
Dilated pupils indicate great interest, either in what you said or in you.
Lock eye contact with a woman’s gaze. If she drops it instantly and gazes
downward to the left or to the right, it indicates that she is interested in you. If, on
the other hand, she merely glances to the left or the right (without first dropping
her eyes) in order to avoid your gaze, she simply finds you uninteresting.
Rapid blinking is a warning sign. If it forewarns that your prospect may provide
resistance to what you have just said.
*The Head
*When your prospect’s head is tilted towards you, it indicates his interest.
When his head is tilted away at an angle, such that he glances from the corner of
his eye, he sends signals of suspicion, mistrust and disbelief. Be forewarned; he
doesn’t find your idea appealing.
The head, supported on the hand indicates boredom.
Nodding indicates interest and agreement. It is a good sign.
Someone who keeps looking around says “let me go.”
**Body Language of the Hands
***The hand holds telling stories…
When a prospect’s hands are open and palms up, he conveys truthfulness and
openness.
When a prospect speaks with his hands tucked in the pocket he betrays that
something might be hidden. Hidden palms indicate something held back.
Clenched hands indicate tension, discomfort or anger.
The hand, when placed to cover the mouth or the nose or to tug at the ear,
reports that a lie may be concealed.
A limp handshake palm up betrays submission. A firm handshake palm down
conveys strength and confidence.
A hand gripping the other hand, wrist or elbow attests a desire to quell rising
anxiety. Change your tact or risk killing the conversation!
A hand behind the head betrays a need to fend anxiety, danger or discomfort.
Steepled hands bear power and proclaims confidence and business.
The hand stroking the chin indicates ongoing evaluation of something just said.
The hands flat on the table indicate readiness to agree.
The hands clenched behind the back project a desire to show control and power.
The foot, when tapping, says “Let me speak” or “I am bored.”
Hands on the hips show a defiant, commanding demeanor.
Body Language of the Arms
The arms can communicate aggression. When crossed across the chest, it signifies
resistance to the conversation or to the speaker.
Body Language of the Torso
When the prospect leans towards you he sends signals of interest. By leaning
away, he announces disinterest or resistance.
A prospect sucking in his belly betrays signals of sexual interest.
Body Language of the Legs
When a prospect 's feet points at you it indicates that he is interested in what you
are saying. When the feet are pointed away, he may want to extricate your
presence.
A prospect’s crossed legs, when standing, betray a feeling of isolation.
While sitting, a prospect’s crossed legs report that your idea may not be accepted
easily.
A prospect signals that she may like you when she sits with her legs tucked under
her haunches.
An insistent tapping foot says “Let me speak” or “I am bored”, “What’s next”
Tone of Voice and Voice Patterns
Sentences that are slowly paced, even, and terminated with downward inflected
tones convey the image of control and power. Authoritative people audibly and
punctuate sentences with a period. To convey even more power, they speak at a
pace much slower than normal.
In contrast, a tone that increases in speed and rises in pitch indicates escalating
nervousness and perhaps that something is hidden. Avoid this at all costs. It
betrays a weak position and that someone is lying.
Instant Impact
Emotions Conveyed by Body Language Clusters
*To persuade someone, you must use body language that conveys not just
openness, but authority as well. Great care must be taken to avoid body language
that betrays anxiety, suspicion, resistance or untrustworthiness. By allowing your
prospect to perceive you as likeable and competent, on a subtle level, you gain
compliance with your persuasion.
Detecting Resistance to Your Idea
Resistance can be easily detected in your prospect. Check if your companion’s
body, leans away from you. Observe whether he faces you obliquely. His arms,
legs or both are crossed. He may glance from the corner of the eye; furthermore,
eye contact is minimal. He taps his finger or foot; his feet points away from you.
He may refuse to unbutton his jacket. Generally, the posture is closed and leans
away from you.
When you persuade, avoid adopting this body language. When your prospect
adopts this pose, modify your tact to bring ease. Whatever you are saying may be
causing discomfort.
Body Language Depicting Openess to Your Idea
An accommodating prospect adopts an open posture to signify acceptance. He
indulges in considerable eye contact. He frequently strokes his chin. His hands
may be steepled. Notice that his feet point towards you.
This body language cluster promotes an ambiance of openness between both
parties.
This is an ideal posture to adopt for persuasion. It makes prospects more
receptive. This is also the posture to elicit from your prospect. Once both of you
adopt this posture, agreement is inevitable.
Body Language Depicting Readiness to Agree / Cooperation
Cooperation is signified by a prospect when eye contact occurs 70% of the time.
Smiling is frequent. A cooperative prospect leans and tilts his head towards you.
He faces you directly; he nods frequently. His hands may be flat upon the table.
His palms may be open and visible while his arms and legs are uncrossed. His feet
face towards you. He may also sit at the edge of the chair. A cooperative prospect
exhibits body posture that is generally open and he leans towards your direction.
As with the “Evaluating Your Idea” pose, this body language cluster boosts your
chances of successful persuasion. Apply it when listening and speaking.
Detecting Suspicion
Suspicion is conveyed by a closed posture. The prospect may keep his hands in
his pockets and orient his body and feet oblique to yours. He may look at you
from the corner of his eye and cross his arms. Those who adopt this posture cease
listening and tend to be disagreeable. It is hard to convince those who adopt this
pose.
When influencing, avoid taking this pose. Prospects will reject you if you do. It is
hard to believe in someone who manifests suspicion.
Detecting Lying
Recognizing liars takes little effort. When someone lies, he minimizes eye contact.
He is usually downcast. A lying person glances from the corner of the eye. You
can also spot dubious statements by watching hand movements. Notice when
someone’s hand covers the mouth, rubs the nose or tugs the ear – it betrays
something fishy.
A liar experiences obvious discomfort; he may shift in his seat or shuffle his feet.
His feet may point towards a door signifying a desire to escape interrogation.
Never take this posture when persuading. No one likes liars. No one follows the
suggestions of liars.
Displaying Authority and Power
Leaders generally adopt a distinctive pose. Eye contact is steady and frequent; it
never drops below the bridge of the nose. His shoulders are thrown back slightly,
with the chin up. His posture is erect, yet comfortable. Movements are slow and
deliberate. The tone of voice flows deep and resonant; speech does not exceed
100 words per minute. Each sentence ends with a downward inflection; pauses
punctuate phrases and sentences. Every statement sounds like a statement and not
a question (upward inflection). Even questions sound like statements.
Normally, the leader takes the head of the table. When he sits, he may steeple
When standing, his arms may be held behind his back. He may also rest them on
his hips. Gestures are emphatic and carried out in sweeping or thrusting motions.
His overall aura emanates sizzling power.
This is the best pose to adopt for persuasion.
The Power of Body Language
Everyone communicates through body language.
While we may be consciously unaware of the meaning of body language, we are
subconsciously fully cognizant of its message. We react to how someone behaves
before us on a subliminal level. For instance, we automatically feel uneasy if our
companion crosses his arms and legs and narrows his eyes. Subconsciously we
interpret the body signals as beacons of resistance, even though we may never
have studied this arcane subject. The resistance of our partner tends to incubate
resistance within ourselves as well; this causes us to cross our arms and legs in
order to “protect ourselves.” The cycle of resistance ensues. The subsequent failure
of the conversation looms imminently.
Being knowledgeable of body language grants greater control to those wishing to
influence any conversational ambiance. Through our actions we can set the tone -
positive or negative - of any negotiation, meeting or one-on-one conversation. A
master of this art will always adopt an open, non-hostile body posture to
encourage cooperation. Also, he will scrutinize his partner’s body posture for signs
of discomfiture in order to reassess topics that cause unease. Knowledge of body
language minimizes conflict and allows conversationalists to be sensitive to each
other’s needs.
that was fabulous,ilsa !!! im re-reading that one, some of that i knew, some was like NO KIDDING! thank you!
Your welcome Lor!
Anytime. Body language is fascinating.
Yes, thank you… but isn’t that copyright violation? Not good for MHarris if it is.
Very cool stuff ilsa!
Once you get a good grasp of properly understanding the body language of others, the effects of pheromones, both inside and outside of professional settings, the nature of ‘hits’ become much more apparant. Most people, both men and women, will carry themselves with reservation in most settings when they’re attracted to somebody. This is accentuated even further when you’re in a work setting, where consciously pursuing somebody is not only awkward, it can get you in trouble.
Most people aren’t aggressive enough to engage people their attracted to in most every day situations, like the supermarket, for instance. How many times have you passed up someone in the market who you thought was hot, but never acted on it? or in your case how about a professional setting? This is why people frequent bars so often to hook-up. Its not just the alcohol that lowers the inhibition of people, its the atmosphere. Its a place where people can be more open with those they’re attracted to without it being too awkward.
At any rate, when you’re in these types of settings, 90% of the time, the biggest indicators of interest will be interpreted non-verbally. I think most people realize this too. When someone is checking you out, you just seem to know it. Most people can’t however, consciously comprehend what all of this means on their own.
No. Actually once I purchased the ebook on Ebay I was given full rights to redistribute it as I pleased. But that is a very good point. I take copyright infringement very seriously.
Yes, I agree. It takes a certain level of mindfulness to interpret body language. It does help to read up on the subject. It makes for some very interesting reading.
I think one of the most important things that you can do, is to train yourself to become more aware of non-verbal cues that people are exibiting around you. In this way, you become a little more adept at “reading” people. You will come to see that a person may be speaking one thing with their mouth, but saying something completely different with their body.
Always interested in good refrence material. What’s your overall opinion of the contents of the book and will you be “distributing” it?
the part that describes the dilated pupils, how you either continue eye contact or look away and how interested you are…very interesting. i think im always afraid im reading too much into actions but its true that a person says one thing…LOOKS another 
Okay Rbt. LOL. I almost didn’t catch on to your joke right away.
I think it is a very interesting book. The section on body language is just one of many chapters of this ebook. It is actually an ebook about seduction.
I have noticed that there are quite a few books about body language for sale on Amazon. But I can’t personally recommend any particular one of them.
No, I never really intend upon redistributing it other than the excerpt I posted here and through the realm of my own experiences.
This is my favorite snip of the lot.
When I evaluate mixes (or give products to friends to evaluate) I have a running checklist of things to watch out for. Since I’m a femme, I have a little insider insight to what us crazy XX’s are doing to vye for your masculine attention.
Actually…
To make my job a little easier…
Dancing_Joker wrote me a fantastically comprehensive sum-up email on what he looks for in IOI, and hopefully he won’t mind if I post it up here for all to benefit from. If you do, pal, go ahead and hit me with the inflatable mallet.
So here I bring you…
the UNAUTHORIZED, ULTRA COMPREHENSIVE, STOLEN VERBATIM FROM PERSONAL EMAIL IOI CHECKLIST!
- Yawning: sudden yawning as if tired or very relaxed, and then resume the other signs of arousal
- Tongue & Lip Action: Lots of extending tongues and licking lips, especially as after initial exposure (in as little as 5 seconds)
- Biting Lips: Curling lips inward and tightly due to intense feelings
- Hair Flipping, Brushing, and Tossing: Spontaneous and wild brushing and flipping of the hair
- Crossing Legs: Frequent crossing and uncrossing of legs back and forth
- Opened Legs: Sitting with legs wide open or leaning far forward on the seat
- Squeezed Legs: Bringing the legs together suddenly and squeezing them shut
- Offset Butts: Butts shifted excessively to one side of the seat
- Leg Twitching: Legs and hips/butt twitching suddenly
- Body Twitching: Body flinches and twitches suddenly (jolts of intense sensations)
- Head Rolling: Head leaning far back and eyes closed, as if in a sexually intense, relaxed position
- Body Stretching: Extending the whole body out and stretching
- Skin Flush: The face, chest or skin become flushed and very red (blushing to outright lobster red)
- Sighing & Deep Breathing: Heavy breathing as if overwhelmed by intense sensations
- Fluttering Eyes: Eyes roll back and/or flutter wildly
- Fiddling: Playing with jewelry or clothing or fiddling their fingers nonstop to distract attention
- Bags on Laps: Use of bags to cover stirring sensations and reactions in the crotch area
- Make Up: Suddenly feels the need to put on make up or perfume
- Flexing the Body: Double handed grabbing of or leaning back from poles in flagrant ways
- Busy Legs: Rocking back and forth, changing leg stances nonstop, hopping back & forth on legs
- Nervous Legs: Rocking crossed legs while sitting, standing on toes, shaking up and down
- Supressed Smiles & Grins: Trying to shyly conceal arousal with a suppressed grin
- Running Away: Several subjects have gotten up from seats or walked away after too much excitement and arousal was built up!
- Thermogenesis: The subject generates a lot of heat from excitement, and starts removing or loosening layers of clothing to compensate
- Looking Up & Behind: Really bizarre reaction - women will look up and behind them, as if someone was talking to them from there
- The Blank Stare: Becoming subdued and quiet suddenly, looking down or forward
- Talking to Oneself: This is when the subject starts talking to herself as if in disbelief that she is getting so horny
- Burning the VNO: This is probably one of the most unusual effects - Some subjects will exhibit a suddenly burning or rushing sensation in part of their nose, yet it has nothing to do with smell. They react suddenly for a few seconds, and then everything is normal again except for the building arousal of course … I think it’s somehow affecting some part of the nose that’s sensitive to mones.
Hope that helps you guys out!
i cant help but imagine one person going thru the entire list as if doing a skit on saturday-nite-live, lol… ive noticed i do alot of that just wearing the 'mones 
That is really fascinating Jasmin, Thanks! I suppose these IOI could apply to both sexes, for the most part.
Good stuff jasmin!
One thing that I think should be addressed though, is that one shouldn’t see a nonverbal cue and make unreasonable associations to a sense of attraction. These types of cues are highly context sensitive, and certain signals tend to be complemented with other signals. I bring this up only because I once told my friend about all these nonverbal cues, and he misinterpreted the way a girl looked he was interested looked at him, even though all the other signs were pointing to the fact that she saw him as a friend. He more or less saw what he wanted to see, acted upon his misguided intuition without first creating that attraction, and got shot down pretty badly.
Reading too deeply into a person’s body language carries the danger of over analyzing it to a point of making illogical interpretations. Again these things are highly context sensitive, and if a body cue is out of context with the rest of the signals being projected, verbally or non-verbally, then its likely meaningless.
I just intuitively know that the person I’m talking to is sexually aroused. I can look into their eyes and see that certain sparkle. Oh and when they become touchy feely that’s a for sure sign.
Another important thing about body language is for a man NOT to wait until he sees positive signs of body language before he approaches.
I used to be like this! I’d wait for the body language IOIs, then approach. WRONG!
Now, I approach whether I see IOIs or not, create attraction (actually just by approaching a certain amount of attraction is created). Then use IOIs and body language to calibrate how I’m doing.
For example, if I move out of creating attraction too soon and move into creating trust, I can tell from body language, and I’ll go back to creating attraction.
If you wait to see IOIs before you approach, you’re disqualifying many women that you may have been able to have in your life.
Very perceptive, Phersurf!
You’re right, too. While IOI awareness is great and all, and something worth cultivating, it’s even more important to assume attraction.
Women, for whatever evolutionary reasons, are wired to respond well to men who assume attraction.
So to summarize:
Act as if she’s attracted, and you generally will generate it.
Especially if you qualify her as she’d qualify you (“you’re not my type”, “you remind me of my kid sister”, “hands off the mechandise”). Powerful stuff.
Thanks for bringing this up, Phersurf.
alot is common sense and intuition when you can out-right be verbal, but i was curious about those times when it is imperitive that you not be obvious, when someone is purposefully hiding to the best of their ability to not have their head “there”, and the clues that are given off at that time… i notice in ,say, a doctors office you would not be aproached… or in a sales situation when that would obviously be interpreted as a means to get a better price, ect… and so far all the answers were fabulous! i think the only one i catch on to without help is that eye-contact that lasts a second too long…like data is being processed and i fit-the-bill, lol
How did you know?! I seriously spent a half hour last night going through ALL the motions of nearly every one of these IOIs, demonstrating to my friends exactly WHAT to look for! .. Another important thing about body language is for a man NOT to wait until he sees positive signs of body language before he approaches.
That’s a fantastic approach, phersurf!