That’s because it’s all of 2 hours old. Maybe I should copyright it?
Actually, Lor started it with the post above and I just sort of played with it for a while. Slow day at work.
I guess nearly all of us have had similar experiences as single mums. I split from me ex when my sons were 8 and 3 years old. Their dad never was a dad to them, they never got birthday presents or christmas presents, he didn´t have time for them. I taught them to swim, play soccer, basketball, fishing, everything they know! I sat with them to do homework, even had to take them to hospital myself with a broken leg when they broke their arms and legs, cos dad was too busy! My dad was the discipline they needed and my brother was their mentor, gave them advice, etc… Now, one is in London working in IT and the other is at Uni in Madrid doing Dentistry. And I love them to bits, they are my life! And they are good lads, they call me all the time and give me surprise presents because they know I sacrificed everything for them!
I was with an Irish guy for 13 years, who never did anything to make me feel I was someone, a long distance relationship which eventually went stale cos men always take you for granted as soon as you do too much for them!! Like YoungAtHeart I put on weight, lost my self confidence, had 2 partial hysterectomies. Then before I split with Irish on New Years Eve, (the worst Christmas and New Year of my life) during the summer I met the guy who was the love of my life from 15 years ago! I was fat, badly dressed, awful. Yet he still wanted to see me. Never in a million years did I think I would ever take up with him again! But it gave me the incentive to “live” again. I lost loads of weight, go to the gym, I got new clothes, a new hairstyle, people don´t even recognize me in the street! I don´t know if second time round this will work out, we are both older and wiser and mellowed, I still love this guy to bits even though he´s scared shitless! But hell, you got to give it a shot!! I am hoping the experimenting with pheromones will give me the extra UUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMPHHHHHHH!!! Its never too late, I hope! By the way, his name is Juan, yep, Don Juan!!!
I just put some on for the first time in over a month–primarily because I am angry, and I want to be a tour de force tonight. I hate men and I hate work right now (there is a chance that I will be in major trouble tomorrow at my job and I really don’t understand why).
I have somewhere to be in an hour–three drops EoW to the neck, allowing me to continue dressing and applying makeup as it dries down. Will be covered with a MEGADOSE (6 TO GO sprays) of Instant Sexiness A, and then Pink Clouds.
I’m hoping for the antidepressant effect that Lor and Jas seem to get from TAL, so I’m upping my dosage.
Report to follow.
looking forward to it, Laurie 
well this is all pretty sucky. You’ll come through it just fine tho Lor. When a door closes a window opens.
Well, it was a nice night, considering I got a voicemail from a friend that amused the hell out of me, and the place I had to be was a show performed by the improv comedy troupe on campus. A couple of my friends are in that, and did really well.
One friend, male, was extra nice to me when I first got there–may have been the pheros, may not have been. It was enjoyable, which is a good thing considering all my stress lately. sigh
diverting attention from aggravation is exactly the temp upliftment that gives breathing room and makes us better able to handle what pissed us off before 
im glad you had a good night !
thats exciting Sophie, and doesnt it feel good that he wanted to give it a shot when you felt you were at a low …
i would be thinking it only gets better,and if its great now,then woohoo !!
he sounds like the kind of person i hope we all end up with!
isnt it funny when we feel bad, we do the opposite of pamper ourselves and punish ourselves by letting ourselves go. no goodies.no haircuts.
when we feel good, we reward ourselves with everything we deserved from the very beginning.
after reading your post, there definately is hope,Sophie.
good luck with Don Juan ( yay) and looking forward to hearing more
That is one of the big reasons why I am with my man right now…I am carrying 40 pounds too much, due to a really BAD year…most of the men I was seeing were ok to go out and have a good time, but in the end, the weight was an issue. One actually had the balls to tell me to call him after I got the weight off!!! Ask me how fast I slammed the door in his face!!!
This one, on the other hand, tells me that heavy or not, I am still the same person inside, and that he loves me (and thinks I’m hot) no matter what weight I am. And, he supports whatever measures I need to take to get back to my ideal…what a sweetheart!!
I wish that feeling of security on all of my friends!!!
Oh man this one is a keeper Dolly. The other one would have been sporting a black eye for a while. You know how violent us postal workers can get 
Tisha
Yeah, it took all of my energy not to clock him one…
The man I am with now met me at this weight, and still wanted to pursue the relationship, so I know he must be ok with it…and not just blowing smoke up my ass…
Excellent. I’m glad you found someone more truthful and less shallow.
first off your gorgeous Dolly.
you stick out like a sore thumb 
, and if its possible to radiate light from a photograph,you managed it !
this guy you are with is in love, because your issue with you is not his issue with you
with that said though, most guys have no clue that the way to a gals heart is in making her feel good. genuinely, not a bunch of blah blah, which we can pick out like watermelon seeds .
since alot of guys are more interested in the bed part, they do the opposite and try to make her feel bad, so that his “in” is
“i’ll be with you anyway”.
way to make her feel worse
its going to be heartwarming watching from a forum point of view
your relationship evolve,Dolly.
makes me think theres someone out there who will think im the best thing since PS3 or WII
Thank you, you are so sweet…:o
That is exactly what he keeps telling me…but, after I spent so many years with so many assholes, it is difficult to believe that somone can love me for the person that I truly am, and not just the superficial.
Oh, I KNOW there is someone like that out there for you…after 20+ years of jerks, I finally found one…if I can do that, then ANYBODY can…
Sorry to jump into your thread here, but I have been wondering what to do and you point out the very issue I seem so perplexed by.
What is a guy to do when nothing he does genuinely makes his gal feel good?
When the past is filled with horrible mistakes (including my divorce and having talked excessively as friends about things in past relationships and very stupidly and inconsiderately sharing things that no spouse wants to know about her man)? When she can’t think of a single good memory of your several years together because every memory she has is tainted with the horrible person you used to be prior to significant personal improvement which has stretched out over more than a year? Specifically, I was a narcissist, something I am in the process of recovering from, the most significant negatives of which were my being a liar (because to a narcissist, the truth doesn’t mean anything) and I looked at other women (because a narcissist is only concerned with him/her self and blind to the needs and feelings of another). I would no longer do either of those things, but my apologies for my prior behavior have seemed hollow to her and though I am genuinely repentant, there is such an abundance of negativity in the entirety of the relationship that the future is up in the air far more than it should be. She blames herself for believing my past lies and finds it impossible to trust me, which I can understand, considering what has transpired. The biggest problem is what to do now…?
There’s something better than a PS3 or WII? Wow!
Seriously, I really love hanging out with you ladies in the Women’s Forum. It’s uplifting to hear your stories sometimes.
Well Thalion, you know that you are always welcome here…
Ash, I think that you have some re-building to do…
When a woman who has been “burned” by a man gives him the chance to redeem himself, the only thing that you can do is PROVE to her that you have changed, and that you are trying to be a different and better person. That takes time. Things like being in places together where she can see that you are not looking at other women, the fact that she can confirm what you say and see that you are not lying, doing little things for her that are thoughtful and genuine, to show her that you care about her. All of those things will take time for her to see the changes…you can’t erase the past, but old wounds can heal…
If you haven’t already, you will probably need to sit down and have a conversation about how you want to make her happy and that you are trying, but what sort of things would she need from you to change her perception of you and your relationship.
Well, anyway, that’s my 2 cents…
Ash,
There really isn’t anything you can DO specifically. If you have determined that you didn’t like the previous you and you have changed for the better, all you can really do is to continue being the person you are.
In time, perhaps she’ll finally see the new you… but old wounds heal slowly. Just be yourself, give it time, but don’t expect anything.
This is exactly what I have been thinking. I have really enjoyed reading about your budding romance, right from the get-go. He is a gem, Dolly, no doubt about it.