Dallas ATC: “Tower to Iran Air 771–You are cleared to land eastbound on runway 9R.”
Iran Air: “Thank you Dallas ATC. Acknowledge cleared to land on infidel’s runway 9R -Allah be Praised !!”
Dallas ATC “Tower to Iraqi Air 911–You are cleared to land westbound on runway 9R.”
Iraqi Air: “Thank you Dallas ATC. We are cleared to land on infidel’s runway 9R. -Allah is Great !!”
Pause: Static…
Iran Air: “DALLAS ATC! DALLAS ATC!!!”
Dallas ATC: “Go ahead Iran Air 771?”
Iran Air: "YOU HAVE CLEARED BOTH OUR AIRCRAFT FOR THE SAME RUNWAY GOING IN OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS!!! WE ARE ON A COLLISION COURSE!!! INSTRUCTIONS PLEASE!!!
Dallas ATC: Well bless your hearts. Y’all be careful now and tell Allah “hey” for us – ya hear?.
Moral: (DON’T MESS WITH TEXAS ! )