Get your coat, because you have scored tonight, and we’re leaving..
Ail 
Funny, I can usually handle myself really well around a beautiful women. I don’t go dumb or anything like that. But I’m not a player.
Sounds like what I thought it meant.
The Richard Bandler flirting video linked to by PheroQuirk in the Lounge is really worthwhile, if you’re less than comfortable (or effective) when flirting. Good stuff. He helped me to understand better how it’s really all about having fun and making connections with people.
I was never a natural flirt (well, maybe as a baby!) and always thought I could just do without it, straightforward lass that I am… Earlier this year I made a good friend in a guy who’s extremely, criminally! flirtacious and I see how much happiness he brings to people, just by playing with them and making them feel good. That’s something worth giving my attention to, I think! It makes life sweeter.
I’m comfortable with flirting, I did a big flirt with an internet date I met recently.
But I’d like to learn more, that’s always good.
My fave flirting technique is to look at you and give you a nice smile.
Not just a friendly one but a ‘I’m interested in you’ kind of smile…
One girl was looking at me every time like this and I smiled back at her. We spoke a bit, then a few days ago I met her again and she did it again, so I smiled back. Then afterwards I spoke to her and after some chitchat asked her out. She said not this week but to ask her again. I will ask her again. I’m definite she’s interested…
flirting is so different to different people.
i can say “hi, boy you have really pretty eyes” because ,well, they DO have amazing eyes…but to some that is a compliment and nice, to others its flirting and a come-on 
my opinion is that flirting is the hottest whe its done for flirting/feels good sake, not as a means to an end. flirting because its fun is…fun. flirting because your trying to score is work,lol, and comes off as such.thats my problem with how-tos.
I guess I think flirting = sending the “I find you interesting” message. It doesn’t have to be sexual, but when I call it “flirting” then (for me) there is always the possibility, i.e., I haven’t yet ruled it out…
It’s the same for me. I’m interested in her as a person, but there is that possibility too..
Ay-yuh. The situation where Lor said she was just giving a compliment, I can really agree that’s not flirting. I would equate that to a “random act of kindness” – no ongoing agenda
Flirting can be sometime not that obvious … That type usually garners more attention.
Ever seen a woman or a man wondering if what they’ve just heard from another was a flirt or an unintentional comment ?
i have gone to the starbucks (the bucks near me they are bombarded with my pheromones all the time,hahaha) and i will go to the window and say “thanks,hun!” and the next thing i know, i hear “come get this order;its your hunny” lol. terms of endearment are construed as flirting,too.
The original post asked about effective flirting techniques, given that certain people appear to be oblivious to “flirt messages.” (No sex stereotyping for me, I’ve sworn off!)
So, I’ll now contradict myself on the matter of “compliments” because I’d say there is one compliment that is (virtually) always flirting, and that even the most outrageously obtuse will “get”:
A compliment from a stranger about your belt is (virtually) always a flirt message with a sexual element, no matter how ‘innocently expressed’.
If someone is willing to say that they’ve been looking at your waist (crotch) and appreciating / considering what holds your pants on (implied: noticing the obstacles to getting your pants off), then in my experience it’s a fairly courageous flirt.
(Oh, I suppose that it’s possible that the observation comes from a belt designer or fancier who is stunned by the uniqueness of your belt, or it’s possible, if you have an astonishing, truly-awe-inspiring girth, that someone struck with wonder at the size and motion of your waist might embarrassedly cover their fascination with a belt compliment. Your mileage may vary, of course … )
So, while I once enjoyed the casual-unbelted-jeans style, I make it a point now to wear a belt – distinctive but not exotic: I want to make sure I don’t attract the attention of belt designers.
Hmmm..
Well, if you read the previous posts of mine in this thread, I don’t follow “typical” behaviour patterns, and I can tell you right now, if I admire a guy’s belt, that is absolutely ALL that is in it.. It’s just a nice belt!
Maybe of course, that’s yet another cultural difference. We have hit on many, many of those in the last few months here..
Ail
Nice Avatar, Lor!
I got inspired to put up an avatar connected to my username!
And I will believe you, Ail.
Many of what, sorry? Hit on many belts? Must be the cultural difference…
We have hit on many cultural differences here on the forums.
There are many things that people do dating/mating-wise for example in the US, that would have men and women alike, here in Scotland, smacking them in the face..
Ail
I’ve seen it, sure. The only person that has to ‘get the message’ is the intended recipient; whether it seems obvious or subtle to a 3rd party is just garnish <g>.
It sounds peculiar, but I think it’s true that the meaning of a message is whatever the recipient understands it to be. You don’t speak Finnish to a Yemeni and expect him to understand; you don’t send American flirt messages to a Scots lass and expect her to be take them as they might be back in Oklahoma.
Lor, when I read that, I thought "Lor should be in charge of public works somewhere – giving the public the “feel good pheromonal” works. I hear the fun notes in your posts and I have a strong sense that you’re a delight to be around.
Do you think that terms of endearment are always flirting? Sometimes it seems to me to be a natural progress … way past flirting … when two people move on to endearing/intimate nicknames.
Ail, I can just imagine shooting a documentary on American dating and mating and having you and your SO do the commentary voice-over! This could be a big winner!
Maybe we could make cultural insensitivity into big box office … like Borat, without the shtick.
i agree with you,mark. the difference for me is that i get vibes and act on them imediately, and if i like the personality of whose in front of me,im callin you hun
i think nick-name calling is a personality trait.
some do it,some have never done it.
it can be cultivated as a social enhancement, like making it a point to appreciate someone everyday, looking for someone to comment on positively and then making it a habit.
if you want to take it a step further, i remember this older 80’s movie called RUDE AWAKENING . the character played by Eric Roberts literally motivates me to be nicer… complimentive…and in love with everyone i meet (heh just not physically). No one could piss him off,because he knew that people reacted from a place of disconnection or stress. he knew thats not who they were.
of course treating people like that they imediately think " oooh she digs meh , heh " but as people get to know you, they know “thats just them”.
i love to talk about flirting. its so positive