so your name phoenix is in reference to the x-men character?
or was it phoenix for other reasons?
100% true not just for Scotland but for other countries too.
But there are similarities also.
I chose it in reference to the X-Men character (both of them actually…).
It has been historically quite acceptable here to use complimentary words such as dear, darling, hunny, sweet, sir, mis, missus, and even girlfriend, without them being indication of flirting.
It was somehow a near disaster when I initially used some of those in the US … and a definite Tsunami using them in Asia.
Last 10-15 yrs or so, as we have had many varied origin mix, people started to be careful what they say, incase it may be taken the wrong way.
I still prefer the old way of being complimentary to others .. it is warm and friendly.
I have found it interesting to note that in Japanese the words for “Honey,” “Darling,” “Sweetheart,” etc. are: Honey, Darling, and Sweetheart…
The idea of “romance” is so new (relatively speaking) to Japan that they don’t have “native” Japanese words for “tearms of endearment” and have instead “borrowed them” (loanwords) from English.
I think China is much the same way. The idea of “romantic” love and marriage is actually a relatively new concept. Most marriages were (and many still are) arranged by parents/family. Of course Europe did much the same thing a while back too. They just dropped the idea faster.
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Absolutely! Oh, pardon me, touch arm, back, lean in front of for a moment to see something or whatever. Thanks! Light breezy. Confident that they will just LOVE to be around me. It’s like sprinkling femmy fairy dust all around. Men LOVE to be around that as it makes them FEEL their masculinity in contrast to us! Whee!
Smile SO sweetly, brush hair behind ear, Thanks! to the driver as you exit the bus. Make their day!
April
Interesting thread. I think i need to pay closer attention to how i flirt. Because I honestly don’t know how.
I know when i’m out at a club, bar, party etc - I’m able to get the most doable guy (imo) in the room to approach me, and we usually wind up in an intense conversation. But that’s something I’ve been doing since college - it’s just for kicks and now it’s second nature, and I have no idea how i became successful at it.
But i don’t know how to everyday flirt - ie - in the grocery store, out running errands etc. I always get shook up, because if a guy does make the first move it’s like it’s out of context, and I’m jolted out of my little world of the moment, and i have a tough time switching gears.
As far as work - i’m sure i’m constantly flirting, but it’s just part of interacting with people. I don’t know that I even think of it as flirting.
i’m with lor—i think i use my humor or in certain case, my caustic witt to flirt. i’m not hot for guys who aren’t smart so I don’y usually go the hair- toss -eyelash-bat routeto get a guy interestd beacuse i don’t think i would tend to be interested in the types that respond to that girly stuff.
I’m more the smarty pants tomboy type… but sexy , I swear…
I think that’s perfectly fine. Sexiness is different for everyone. And a sexy mind is FANTASTIC. 
Boys who aren’t up to snuff tend to lose their sexiness for me.
I have NO idea how to flirt. I can’t banter. I’m terrible at starting conversation, but once it’s flowing it’s good. When I actually DO banter, it takes me by surprise, and then I’m so proud of myself I lose it again.
I’m definitely a hands girl – I’ll touch people’s arms, their cheek, I’ll flip my hair.
anytime i have tried to be girly/sexy/hair-flippin-pink, i think the other person with whom i flirt - and myself- spontaneously burst out laughing.
its way too out of character.
id rather spar i think 
I’m the same way. I find that I flirt subconsciously - other people will bring it to my attention before I realize I’m doing it. With me, it’s mostly eye contact. For something so simple, eye contact and the way you execute it can make a HUGE difference - a lingering gaze, a wink, and my personal favorite, one of those coy glances up through your lashes. If I TRY to do any of these though, I’m usually so absorbed in doing it right that I don’t think I come off as sincere.
I’m a hands girl too, actually, but I’m like that with everyone. My group of friends is very affectionate and we all expect hugs from one another at the beginning and end of the night, with random hair-tousles and arm-linking throughout.
I have been reading on this subject and as a shy person I would like to share my opinion.
For me, the most frightening subject in the PUA technique is kinesthetics.
Guys (nice guys any way) are taught to be hands off.
If you want a guy to know that you are interested, touch his hand, touch his arm, leg, chest, crotch, etc.
Going straight for the crotch might work but it could be a disaster if he’s not interested.
I wish women would touch me more because the shyness inside of me puts my brain in to melt down when I’m touching a woman the first time.
Also, men are horible judges of body language so if you want to use that, you have to be blatant.
Cross and uncross your legs, arch your back, touch your chest, lick your fingers, etc.
If you don’t want to be so overt, try tilting your head to the side and down while looking up in to his eyes. That’s a look that Princess Diana used often.
Ladies, if any of these techniques work for you, please throw some of it my way.
lor.. you know where this needs to go, right? 
sweetheart, i started the thread 
MHarris suggested i begin one when i could go on for days talking about flirting.
if guys think women who have not been around town are going to do as mesmer requested (licking fingers,arching backs,ect)
then they are needed for pinning a tail on .
i have NEVER arched my back to show a stranger I dug him.
the rest of this does not fall gently into the blog without a question posed
Well, clearly you’re not a cat.
Fraud, I say!
arch your back? where’d that come from.. lol
A young woman who waits until I look into her eyes,
winks, and then grins, has made her intentions clear.
I can’t see how that can fail.
Her body language just after the wink says worlds about
her personality and/or how long she’s been into me.
If I don’t want to follow up, I play dumb (if they’re underage) or
say: “I take more work than that, sister.”
If I do want to follow up, then I wink back, walk up, and start a conversation.
I should probably say, “Looks like you got something in your eye there.”
her: facial expression says “You idiot”
me: (in a matter-of-fact serious tone) “Yes, I’m really that dense. I can’t tell you’re interested. In fact, I’ve never heard of body language.” (then, dryly) “For instance, see what that guy is doing with his legs because that girl is near him? Yeah, I have no idea what that means. It’s never dawned on me that he’s trying to get her to look at his …”
Anyway .. I digress. Winking should work nicely.
When is it not appropos?
Now, my only problem is if they wink and it’s clear they’ve waited a while for the right moment to make sure no one saw them wink, but I can’t follow up. Those moments haunt me for days. Weeks, even.
Evil women.
Cheers,
Quicksilver
The girl who gave me her email on the boat, yes we had smiled at each other.. she was feeling sick though so I really couldn’t gauge much of whether she was enjoying our discussion or not.. I kept it too safe perhaps and just asked for her email.. which now is bouncing as she never reads it. Got a message to her through a mutual friend - well apparently she isn’t interested enough to contact me herself…
what can you do sometimes you just don’t meet the right person..
Such is the way of the world…
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you havent read the thread.
you are answering to a portion of it, but not far back mesmer had replied something alot of men think but mesmer had the balls to state. go back and read some, you will find this thread very entertaining