Feeling nervous around my crush

So today i saw this girl im crushing on. ANd for 3 days straight ive been really nervous around her im 18 shes 19
I got IH IS IO IG with me now. Was wondering whats a good combo to reduce my nervousness level cuz i cant even lock eyes with her!
Any combo recomendations for my current situation?
Thanks!

I’m not sure a pheromone (besides maybe A314) is going to change your shyness that significantly. All they really do is amplify and make it easier for others to accept your personality traits.

You’re going to basically have to man up and talk to her. Its said women can smell fear, so if you really can’t bring yourself to look her in the eye and talk to her - I’d avoid her until you can. The last thing you want to do is create a negative image of yourself in her eyes. After all, first impressions are the ones that last!

See this is one of the things I sometimes worry about. Pheromone are meant to communicate information about us, to others. Usually and ideally they communicate attractive qualities that increase the odds of the other person responding favorably to us.

They are not meant to self medicate or treat emotional states. Overcoming states like nervousness, shyness or social anxiety has to come from inside of you. Help in the form of counseling or coaching is fine but calm confidence in a bottle doesn’t exist nor should it.

Best thing for you to do is objectify your state…why should you be nervous?, what’s the worst that can happen?

I’m going to add on to what RAD said cause he’s completely correct.

Pheromones are a form of communication, they aren’t meant to make up for your lack of confidence.

From all the women I know, the one thing they always mention to me (learned this the hard way) is that confidence matters so much. The way you carry yourself, the way you look, the way you project yourself is the sexiest thing they find in a man.

Yes there are little preferences here and there that differentiate women.

If you can’t even lock eyes with her and you’re that shy, what makes you think she knows you’re interested.

You have to do the “manly” thing and be the one who initiates and creates tension and make her uncomfortable. Defining uncomfortable in this context is her being shy around you, because you’re a masculine and confident guy, top that off with mones and she’ll be shying away from you.

If a woman feels that she can dominate you, she won’t respect you, and sure as hell won’t be attracted to you.

One thing that might help you overcome the nervousness is to just accept the fact that you are nervous instead of trying to fight it.

Look at it this way, you only have two options.

  1. Be nervous and let it get the best of you. This will result in failure no matter what.

  2. Accept that your nervous and deal with it in a constructive way. One thing I used to do before giving big presentations was to tell myself that the nervous energy was really excitement and that I can’t wait to start. The two emotions aren’t really that far disconnected and if you can learn to reframe what your feeling into something positive, you can use that “nervous” energy constructively.

Well, once again Radman hits the nail square on the head. :slight_smile:

However, if its any help, the pheros that do most to help me overcome my behavioural traits that tend to nervousness are A314 and IJ. Although IJ may not be exactly what you need here?

Saying that, I have done a lot of other work on my negative personal aspects in the last couple of years and never try/hope to rely on pheros alone.

OK Timothy. Can I call you Tim? Tim, you now have 3 very similar threads started in the last few days. Here are my suggestions, don’t buy anymore pheormones. They aren’t going to resolve this for you. Most pheromones sold here are for attraction. If you can’t get past the attraction what’s the point? Start a journal and post what you are doing and what the results are. Then some of us will peak in and give you a few pointers. Pick up a few books on confidence, masculinity, leadership etc. Start hanging out with guys that behave the way you want to behave.

It’s ok to go head over heels for a girl. It really is, but you can’t make her the center of your Universe. You have to drive the train and offer her the opportunity to get on board. You actually have a great opportunity with this emcee thing you are doing. Women love a guy that is focused. They want to be a part of something. God made them that way. So let her be a part of something. Don’t make her the something.

You odviously have the confidence to do this emcee thing, many people would not be able to stand up in front of a crowd of people and talk, so conversing with this one girl should be a snap for you, right?

There is a ton of resources on this forum that deal with increasing confidence/attraction too. Might want to search around :wink:

IG + IJ. Its a band aid on a gushing wound…LOL… we all have had the wounds or used band aids at one time or another. But yeah, try that. I love the mix. It helps me to feel confident and classy. The IJ is smoothed over a bit by the IG.

However, tho’ do follow the advice that the guys up above have given, it is worth its weight in gold as they say.

When I was young 'n shy, I used to burn a wee bit ‘o weed or down a beer before approaching women and it helped me overcome my inhibitions. I don’t mean gettin’ friggen hammered, but just enough to take the edge off. Brush your teeth or use mouth wash so you don’t come off as a wino/druggie (unless at a party or bar). Worked really well for me and I gained steady confidence with each success.

One thing that helped me get over shyness is just consciously looking someone in the eyes and don’t look away until they look away. You will notice that people who may be more shy than you, like maybe a shy girl in a lower grade, will look away much faster than someone who is more confident or possibly in an higher grade. This isn’t always true though. For me, I feel a sense of dominance when someone I lock eyes with looks away quickly. Every now and then you will meet one of those people that like to look people in the eyes too, then its almost like a staring contest… It can get a little awkward, so what I usually do is make a little gesture like “what?” or wave, then move on to something else.

Before you get used to looking at girls, practice making eye contact with your friends. Then every person you meet. I’m not saying to stare them down, but if you engage in conversation keep eye contact to project that you are confident.

I didn’t make this stuff up myself (obviously), I read it in a book a few years ago. And these are just my experiences with it. I’m not saying it will necessarily work for you, but learning to maintain eye contact has really opened a lot of doors for me. Hope this helps out.

Sweet thanks for all the help guys yea im totally going crazy over her!! Will take all of what u said and il totally post a report on what happens!
Everyone heres so amazing thanks so much for everything

The things to try and consider and internalize are
Does this seem like the kind of girl that will be mean and cruel and try to humiliate you for daring to approach her? (I hope not, if so you shouldn’t be interested in a girl like that anyway)
Odds are the worst that can happen is she rejects your approach.
A rejected approach and NO approach have the same end result…no girl.
However an approach has a chance of being accepted and getting the girl while no approach is a certainty of not getting her.
The question is not whether or not you have value for her, you do, the question is simply can she see the value that you know you have. If she rejects you, your value to women in general as a man is still the same. The only thing that changes is your knowledge of her perceptions.

Speaking of perceptions. I hate repeating myself but I know not every newbie reads every thread so I sometimes will repeat advice several times so here goes.
Remove this particular girl from your thoughts temporarily.
Now consider for a moment what kind of woman would be ideal for you…leave out the physical and instead focus on personality, interests and ways this ideal woman would/could/should fit in your life and lifestyle.
Now…when you approach, keep this criteria in mind and work into the conversation, questions to ask the girl and decide if she’s truly as good a choice as you currently think she is.
This shifts your focus from worrying if you’re good enough, to wondering if she’s good enough for you. So fear of rejection is farther from your mind.
This can help you feel more confident and she’ll instinctively feel that she’s being considered which puts you in a high value position in her perceptions.

That’s ultimately what meeting women is about, it’s about Objectivity vs Subjectivity.
Your value as a man is objective…it is what it is, period. Her perception is SUBjective. Acceptance or rejection has nothing to do with your true value, only your ability to communicate it to her. So you still have genuine value regardless of the outcome.

As soon as you put a woman on a pedestal you may as well throw in towel as you reduce your value, in your eyes alone if not even in hers. This doesn’t mean you can’t complinent her etc but if you can’t even lock eyes…

dsouza

check out the David Deangelo program on approaching women. It’s fucking gold!