Oh jeez, I’m sorry to hear that outheo.
The girls make some excellent points and believe me, you will do well to listen to them, bosshank as ever, hit the nail on the head when he said to consider all the ramifications carefully.
My perspective may be somewhat different to theirs but the advice is the same.
Now, as you know, our situations are very similar. what you don’t know is that my youngest is 4 years and 2 months old. Since he was conceived, my wife and I have made love just twice, yep, twice in 5 years. Suffice to say that we have had a fairly stressful time, high workloads, medical issues for all of us etc. The last time was over a year ago, and here’s the soul destroyer, because she felt sorry for me 
How did I react to her loss of libido,I spent hours when she was working nights in dodgy chatrooms looking for the greener grass. Guess what, it ain’t there. She found out, retaliated in kind. Blazing rows, all the rest of it.
Things calmed down, libido still AWOL, now we get to the crunch. About three months ago, she found her old school sweetheart on facebook (you know ladies, the one that should have been the first!) and some flirting took place. It was around this time that I got my first order on here! Mr suspicious (who had previously loaded some keylogger software onto the PC and was using it to spy on her conversations) assumed an affair was imminent and hit the roof ( 3 days after crashing my bike and breaking my collarbone) Suffice to say that if I had been physically fit, I would have been in the hotel for keeps.
Better idea, and here comes the advice, the next evening I sprayed a load of IFM on her pillow and virtually showered my chest in Instant Honesty before going to bed. After a few minutes, I asked her to let me get some things off my chest before saying anything, I then quite deliberately asked her to cuddle in while told her how I felt, how the lack of sex made me feel (unloved, disrespected and used), pointed out the problems in our marriage from my point of view. Normally this would have had me castrated, shouted at and sleeping with my genitalia projecting from my rectum.
She then, quite calmly and rationally, gave me her side without a single raised voice from either of us. We achieved more in 30 minutes than we had in the previous 2 years.
2 months on, we’re both taking small steps every day, our foundations are now solid and rebuilding is going on at a good pace. She is also now pinching my pheros and has some of the female products on the way!
I’m not after sympathy, praise or thanks, this is about you and your wife, not me and mine. All I ask is that you please think about what I have been through and learn from my mistakes (and successes).
Look deep in your heart, if there is the tiniest spark of love left there for her then fight for your marriage. If you don’t you will regret it for the rest of your days.
’ Don’t count every minute, make every minute count’ - Mohammed Ali
