I’m big into the metaphor of life as a book. Each chapter is a stage in your life. Your actions, your words, your thoughts, and the environment around you are what’s written inside each chapter. Most of the time, you’re the author. Sometimes, you’re a narrator. Occasionally, you’re a mere supporting character.
That said, this previous chapter of mine is filled with pages upon pages of… nothing.
I graduated and left school. I ended my job. My friends moved away; I moved away. I’ve always been an optimist but it seemed at times, there was no optimism. What does one do on Friday and Saturday nights now? Nevermind even the weekend - what does one do Monday morning when everyone returns to work and school? Become good friends with the kitchen table, job boards, career fairs, and school application websites, that’s what. I’ve gone days without physical human contact, showering, and even speaking. It was that bad.
I decided enough was enough last weekend. I had an invite to a small house party and chose to go instead of turning it down as normal. I wasn’t planning on staying long. My social skills were rusty and I didn’t want to think how bad I would stumble if I met a girl. “Meeting people” outside of career fairs was but a dream to me.
There’s a small drawer - OK, actually quite a large drawer - in the dresser in my room. Inside this drawer are plenty of bottles, some small, some large, some slightly opaque white, some tinted blue. I used to be able to deftly navigate this drawer with my eyes closed, knowing exactly where each required bottle was located. As a result of moves and disinterest, the bottles have become disheveled and strewn about, and no amount of thought would be enough for me to discern between the various numbers, letters, and words on the bottles.
I chose a few bottles after glancing at the labels. They hearkened back to distant memories of the yesteryear like a faint calling in the wind. What they were calling, I did not know.
1d A314 R25 SBE neck
2s MX291 wrists
1s ishine neck
2s Spaceland neck
1s MX200 neck
It is surreal how I just typed in my old nomenclature without hesitation. I suppose the knowledge continues to flow back days after the application has been washed away.
Hit 0: The sweat. If there’s one thing you don’t forget, it’s the sweat. I had left for the party in a jacket in preparation for a cool late-summer. Minutes after application, the sweat kicked in and the jacket came off. This wasn’t typical -none sweat, or at least it didn’t feel like it. This was sensory overload sweat. I had been phero-free for months and suddenly a relative bomb gets dropped on me. I forgot to anticipate the sweat but I did not mind it. It means something is working (to me) and with cooler temperatures coming, it gave my body a chance to warm up and build the phero cloud around me.
Hit 1: Instant IOI from the female host (Caucasian, 20’s) upon entering the party, though most likely not all from pheros. I had not seen her in over a year and she was shocked and surprised and a little flirty. The rapport was started.
Hit 2: Status hits from everyone. In my days of partying, I was a makeshift bartender that made pretty good drinks. At the very least, I could turn an “alcohol and mixers sitting around” party into a party with some semblance of proper drinks. I pointed at two guys standing near the kitchen and asked if they wanted drinks. They originally said no but changed their minds when they saw me starting to mix. They told their friends and soon a line was formed by the kitchen counter awaiting drinks.
Pre-hit: Now that everyone stopped doing shots and chasers and had a cup with drink in it, a round of drinking games started and people gathered in the common area. Tucked away in the corner of the crowd was an Asian girl (20’s, only other Asian there) who kept looking at me. She had her own cup so I did not approach her about a drink but I did return her glances from across the room.
Hit 3: Increased status hits mainly from people around me. For being completely sober in a room full of drunk people, I was the rowdiest person. Years of hosting parties have taught me to act a little loose even when sober so that other people don’t hold back. This particular drinking card game was one that I’m very good at, again going back to the years of hosting parties. I quickly won a few rounds and that itself was enough to generate some status hits. Then I whispered to the people around me the tricks that I knew and they started winning rounds too. Soon, I and the people around me were cheering loudly and having a great time. I could feel the entire rest of the room eyeing us and even the host seemed as if she sensed the party mood was shifting. As the game continued, I walked around the room and selectively chose guys and girls to let in on the tricks. Eventually, loose lips let the secret out to everyone and the game was deemed over but the successes remained: status was generated, I had a small following of the people I talked to, and everyone was in more of a party spirit than before.
Hit 4: The multipurpose hits. After the drinking game dispersed, the host nudged me and told me to follow her to her room. Inside were a few of the guys and girls I had talked to during the game. One last guy came in with a bucket of ice and closed the door behind him. The host mentioned that sometimes she likes to take a breather from the party with “good friends” and good alcohol. I think everyone else was used to being called a “good friend” except for me but I tried to show no surprise. It truly was no surprise either as we had been friends for a while and it seemed that was the case with the other people in the room. The host opened a closet that contained top shelf liquor and asked me to make drinks, which I did promptly.
Two girls were in sights at this time: the host and one I’ll call Girl A. I was interested in the host but I knew every guy at the party was too so I mainly wanted to rekindle the rapport in anticipation of future parties together or the possibility of her bringing along her friends. She leaned in rather closely while talking and it was at this point I started to feel comfortable back in my old phero shoes again. My body heat was up, my cloud was strong, hits and rapport were established, and it was now time to kick it into high gear. Riding this surge of new energy, I turned to Girl A (low 20’s, mixed Caucasian). We had a small running joke from earlier in the night where I was one of only a few people to see her randomly drop her drink. After I made her drink, I said “Ok, we’re in [the host]'s room now, don’t drop your drink” and smiled. Instead of stretching my arm out and handing it to her, I got close to her and handed her the drink with my arm close to my body. She took it one step further by pressing up against me, putting one arm around my waist, taking the drink with her other hand and getting up on her toes (she’s significantly shorter than I am) to whisper “Thanks” in my ear.
This delivered a rush I have not felt since the days shortly after receiving my first AD shipping envelope. The fabled “Oh wow” moment that you read in the success stories here. We held on to this semi-embrace for a few minutes. I have no clue what she was thinking but I was simply cherishing the moment.
The “good friends” stayed in the room for a while longer and then we went back to the main party. It was here that some challenges arose and some victories were won.
Blocked hits: This was not one big blocked hit but a series of smaller blocks that I’m listing as one for brevity’s sake. Girl A and I walked side by side out into the main party. Out of nowhere, a guy came and bear hugged her away from my side. I thought he was playing around until they settled down and he kissed her. Ouch. Things can’t be too easy for the hero, right? I didn’t mind this too much as I would rather have some guy hug her away than throw a punch at me for getting to close. Two interesting things to note are that she always approached me after that, for example needing another drink and repeating our embrace position from before. Any time the guy saw Girl A close to me, he would come over and hug or otherwise reposition her away from me and always end with some sloppy kiss or playful spanking. During some reflection downtime, I noticed that if even when she approached other guys normally at a reasonable distance, the guy would come in and put up his walls. I could not confirm if they were a couple and it seems odd that such an insecure guy could be with such an outgoing girl. I’ll have to see what comes of this.
Making good on the pre-hit: With Girl A somewhat out of the picture, I returned to the pre-hit Asian girl. I started by making a pitcher of drink and walking around, offering to top up cups. When I got to her, she looked a little sad that her cup of a different drink was not quite empty. I got a clean cup and poured her a little taste. She immediately brightened up and said my drink was better so I asked her to follow me into the kitchen for a fresh batch. We talked as we moved around the party and when I handed her the drink (at a decent arm’s length), she responded by mimicking Girl A’s close embrace. Her hand was slightly lower than Girl A’s.
I left the party with the email addresses of both Girl A and the Asian and have since built up other methods of contact. It’s not quite the same as getting a number but in my rusty state, I’ll take what I can get and it’s a different era of communication now, I suppose. I let the mix linger for a long time after I got back. Even now, smelling the shirt in my laundry bin gets me excited for the next time I can wear pheros.
Conclusion
And there will be a next time, because I’m back. Again. I can’t say “for good” because I’m not sure I can deliver on that, but I will be around more often now. I started with pheros having nothing but time and energy. A long journal and a few losses later, I still have nothing but time and energy. It’s time to give this another go and see what else I can write both in my journal and in my book of life.
If you are an old friend (2009/2010/early 2011), please drop a short response below to say hi. I haven’t looked around much but hopefully there are still some familiar names here.
If you are a new friend, please feel free to leave a short intro and a link to your journal. One of the best things I like about PT is meeting new people and reading cool stories in journals.
I’ll need some time to catch up on all the new products and organize my existing products but I hope to be contributing regularly shortly.
