Gahh, grounded for two weeks at 18 after a bad tennis match

Lounge
1

I really dislike my mother. I was playing tennis today, and so I get a little upset right? I was repeating over and over again “come on, come on” trying to calm myself down. I was pretty upset when I got off the court and lost my match, and yes I was a little rude and didn’t want to talk to anyone. So I ride the bus home and then things got ugly when I was picked up on the car ride home. She mentioned how I was getting angry and I was well aware of it (it was a tiring season). So she says I’m grounded for two weeks (and I’m 18). I’m like wtf? I made little outbursts, but not major. My mother however says I should be embarrassed of myself. So she makes me even more mad when I was just calming down from the match. She told me also that she would have broke my racquet to show me what real anger looked like. So now I’m disobeying her by ranting on the forum lol.

My mom seriously just needs to get over it; I think she was embarrassed my behavior, and this always happens when I get upset (which only happened twice this season). I remember even in bowling as a kid, I would get mad, and she would ground me instead of trying to calm me down.

2

Unless you were playing in the finals at Wimbledon, your mom is right. It was only a game, how about a little anger management?:roll_eyes:

3

It doesn’t matter that you are 18 - as long as you still live in your parents house, it’s their rules. No if’s, ands, or buts about it. :wink:

Now, you Mom saying she would break your racket to show you real anger is not right. I can see where you get your anger from. You two sound like you feed off each other.

I think a nice, long, heart to heart with her is in order. Sit down, when you are calm, perhaps this weekend, and try to explain to her that you feel very strongly about the sports you play, and that while you’d love for her to be your champion, you also need her to understand your emotional investment in the sport. And that means sometimes you’ll be angry.

Now, we have only heard one side of this. MtnJim may be right - if you were throwing a tantrum and being a brat, then you deserved it. However, lots and lots of people feel very passionately about the sports or activities they participate in - it’s one of their emotional releases. My date tonight was all sorts of pissed off that the Red Sox lost. BUT, he knows how and when to show that anger. During the game - yes he was pissed. After the game, it was left in the stadium.

Granted, he wasn’t a player. I bet some of those Sox players (that dropped the ball) are still beating up the water coolers.

The bottom line is, coming on here isn’t going to solve the issue - talking with her is.

I have a horrific relationship with my mother as well. I repaired my relationship with my father, and now he is my best friend. Family is very important, something that so many teens fail to realize. You will never, ever have people love you for who you are, unconditionally, like a good family will.

Thats especially important during your teen years! :wink:

I love my two teen boys to bits, but I do want to strangle them sometimes. Or put arsenic in their dinners. Or beat them to death with their mathbooks. But in the end, we do have those kinds of talks, and we are able to understand each other. One of my boys would come “help” me cook dinner every day. He would talk talk talk about his day and everything in his world, totally in my way in the kitchen, and then rush to set the table (wrong) at the last minute. Or would “help” do the dishes - and get water and soap all over the place. I would find food covered dishes in the cupboard a few days later.

I wouldn’t trade those days for anything. :slight_smile:

4

LOL I am sorry, You seem to take after your mom. You both acted before calming down and thinking.

You shouldnt rant and rave even briefly while your playing in a competative sport, For one it shows your opponant your weakness and for two it throws off your concentration. Its probably why you lost.

Now your mom should have calmly explained it to you then sent you out to the back yard to work off the anger by moving the big wood pile to the opposite side of the yard like I do my sons LOL

Tisha

5

Ahhh… the superior wisdom of youth. It took me til about 27 or 28 before I realized my mom and dad were right… about damned near everything. Age and experience sure does have a way of changing your perspective.

Or would you rather a “Jeez, man, your mom has NO IDEA what it’s like to be 18. She’s such a killjoy. Good on ya for sneaking time on the computer! That’ll show her who’s boss, yessiree!”

-D4

6

Lol data4

First off, yes, I feel passionately about tennis. I hate it when I lose, and I always kinda grunt when I miss a shot (even in practice). But the real reason is that my mom is way too cynical of me. She wants me to be the perfect kid, when I am really not. Getting a “C” on my transcript deserves punishment in her eyes (however, I do not get C’s, but my brother did). Not only that, I did way way better academically in High School than she had ever accomplished.

The whole thing about yesterday, its just only one aspect to the whole stand off thing I’m having with my mother. I’m saying she is way too critical of me when it is not necissary. I told what happened yesterday, trying to be as unbiased as possible, and they agreed that it was sorta of unjust. My friend, who plays football, said that as long as you don’t attack anyone or curse, then the refs don’t care. I muttered the curse words and all people heard was the grunts and the racquet banging few times on the court (about three times).

See where I’m getting at? How do you even approach a person like this when they are this judgemental and cynnical of you, believing that they are always right, and you always wrong (even if you prove them wrong)?

7

You must talk to her. Explain how you feel to her. Try to see each other and understand each other. Work with her.

Telling us here wont do anything. :slight_smile:

8

Just wanted to post a quick message since things are very harsh for me right now. LTD, to think that when I first posted in your thread I didn’t know that I would lose my mom a few days later, so you know what? Make peace with your mom, love her, and forget all the things that piss you off when she does the things she does. Mothers will always love you, no matter how bad it may seem sometime when they punish you. Enjoy your time with her everyday just like I enjoyed my time with my mom as much as possible, even though it never seemed like enough especially now that she’s gone. So enjoy it LTD, enjoy your mom and forget these silly little things because life is short. ENJOY HER. LOVE HER. Because as mentioned, it’s never enough especially when they’re gone. You can be a 50 year old man years from now, and I’m sure you’d still cry like a baby for your mom that passed away many years ago just like a non-blood uncle of mine told me regarding his mom.