Hello guys, I’d love you all if I can just get some advice with a certain situation I’m in.
Ok, I’ve been seeing this girl for about two weeks now (our first official date was a few days ago), but afterwards she told me she has a crush on another guy in her home town (lets call him Mr. X). She has known him for about a year and only known me for four weeks, if we became serious then she would never have the chance to go out with Mr X. It also appears she knows very little about this Mr X, where he’s from and whether or not he’s also interested in her.
She has told me that she needs to sort this out first, and would still like to hang out with me and stuff. I asked her if she just wants to be friends from now on, she said “perhaps”. I take this as “Ooh I don’t know you that well yet so I trust Mr X more and want to try asking him out, but if that doesn’t work out I still like to keep you.”
I still have a lot of interest in her, so I think I’ll be playing catch up - I’ll prove to her I’m the better guy. But at the same time I’d need to expect the worst and keep my options open (but not going to tell her that). So from now on, every time I see her I’m going to put on:
4 x Instant Honesty and 2 x Instant Female Magic for comfort.
2 x Ammo so I don’t slip into her “definately” friend zone, I want to keep that “perhaps”. Not too much because I’m blood type O.
2 x A314 because it gives me confidence as well.
What do you guys think? Not just about pheromone usage, but the situation as well.
Hi Standard.. sounds similar to my mix for a new female friend of mine I just met a few days ago…
that was 1 spray ammo 1.5 , 2 sprays P74, 2 sprays Instant Female Magic on back of neck, 1 drop A314 mutant on neck and 1 drop A314 mutant on hands (rubbed then covered by some aromatic oils shampoo - patchouli,lavendar smell..)…
I’m not sure about the A314 on my palms but it may have worked. I held her hands and she held mine tightly… we had a good connection, hugged many times and will meet again. I’m thinking of upping the ammo to 2 like you are going to do and perhaps swap out p74 with p79 next time.
may i ask what you where using before? it seems that she is already quite honest with you. i mean, being told about other guys is hard to swallow no matter how mature you are. so she obviously got the trust vibe in such a short period of time.
now, i do know much about pheromones yet. I’m still waiting to for my next pay check so i can get some. Even so, this is what i see. First dude, the situation sucks. out and out, no lie. I don’t know if i would want to be with a girl that tells me to wait on the sidelines, but that’s me.
I do know that a lot of this is going to depend on you. You can’t rely on the pheromones to do the trick. so my advice, go out on “friend dates”. Just chill. be fun and out going witha side of aloof and you’ll be irresistable. Add some pheromones to the mix and i think you’ll be good to go. Just try not to get to serious about anything or your not going to like what happens (at least in my limited experience).
my guess at the pheromones (from all the reading i’ve been doing {and trust me, i’m broke so i’m not going to invest in a product without a lot of reading}) is prob a mix of “Shine” a touch of “A314” and maybe a hit of “turn up the heat”… from what i gather this mix will make you an outgoing, confident sex god.
anyway, that’s just my take on it… hope it helps in your decision a lil.
Why would you want to take a second seat to someone else my friend? I have a couple of points that might help you out here:
When a girl tells you they like someone else, try a joke about it, like Does he cook? He can make us breakfast in the morning?
I barely even know you well enough for you to be suggesting a menage-a-trois, especially with some strange man. Well only if he has a nice ass.
Oh my God, is he cute, we can all go to the zoo and watch the monkeys.
This will throw her off and make her want to be with you. It shows that you have a strong boundary and are not someone she wants to lose. It says all the right things about you.
You might be able to still get away with that if you act fast.
If someone ever told me that “perhaps” we could be friends right their they are through. There is no one on this planet (it’s my reality) that is better than I. I would have had a field day with that one. This tells you she thinks your friendship is not valuable. Anyone who feels I have no value to add is a low-value person who I would never waste a second more with.
Move on my friend, their are plenty of fish in the sea.
Friends as strictly friends, you can be straight away, that’s what I would tell her.
Thankfully my date didn’t tell me that. We are friends and physically attracted. Taking a next step (more than simply friends but attracted and wanting to be more) is a big thing for her and thus she wants to be sure. I prefer to be sure too, actually. I’m not that into meaningless kissing (don’t misunderstand me kissing is great but it’s better with the passion on both sides..).
Also, I think committment comes later too…
Maybe you come across as a little bit needy. If she really liked you she would bend over backwards to avoid mentioning other guys (unless she thinks you are not that interested, but that doesn’t seem to apply here). So I think her mention of the other guy is somewhere between a test and an iod/sign she isn’t into all that attracted right now.
Possibly you should abandon your current frame of viewing the situation (‘I need to prove that I am the better guy’) to ‘I am the prize. Let’s see if she is cool enough for me’. Look for ways to qualify her, teasingly. Read some of swingcat’s stuff.
Are you seeing her, as in sleeping with her? If not (and sounds like that is the case), I would say it’s way too premature to worry about ‘being serious’ with her.
Wrt crush guy, telling her a story (the experience is universal, so I am sure you can make this true for you) about when you were younger there was a girl that you had a crush on etc etc you kept prospect B waiting too long but she found somebody else and now you’ll never know if you were meant to be together or not. Read Murikami’s 100% perfect girl for an illustration of how to do this in a slightly different context.
Maybe next time you invite her out you should have some other girls come with you (but not mention ahead of time that’s going to be the case). Possibly that’s a little bit manipulative, but then all is fair in love and war, no? Over and beyond that good to genuinely develop other prospects. When you pin all your hopes on one person, it just doesn’t often seem to work out as you would wish.
Whether she admits it or not, she’s may not be into the old fashion monogamous dating stuff. I know many folks–especially guys–are into ownership and the old Judeo-Christian ideal of a mutually exclusive relationship. In reality, most young women and guys instinctively play the field–even if it’s against their moral beliefs–as they’re still figuring out what the hell they want. Judging from the amount of married women and women with BFs that come on to me, I’d say many women are in denial and can’t admit their true feelings. At least she is honest and you know where you stand. Go for a friends with benefits deal. Sheesh, you’re only 24…
Hmm thanks a lot, these replies has really made me feel better. I think I’ll still be friends with her, just so that I can meet her other female friends lol
Ahahaha, I have to use that line next time I get the “I’ve met someone” deal, I just HAVE to! Would love to see the reaction.
And a question regarding “shows that you have a strong boundary and are not someone she wants to lose” - can you elaborate on the “strong boundary” part, please? What does that mean, exactly?
I’ve recently been in a situation that OP describes, and what I did was just cut contact to a minimum, because I wasn’t interested in someone trying to play games and testing me at that particular point in time (had too much drama going on already, with no need for any further BS). But I’d be very interested in finding out how such tests can be turned completely around.
a-fking-men to that. everytime i get hits from a married or taken girl i can’t help but wonder if my own gf will do that to some other guy behind my back eventually. and at the same time i feel sorry for their husbands and bfs. it really makes u think hard about what it means to be in a ‘serious’ relationship.
If a girl can control herself the first time I’ve met her though she’s clearly very aroused, I take it to mean she won’t do that to some other guy then…
I hope u dont mind me throwin in my 2 cents in here, but as I was reading ur post a whole bunch of things came to my mind as to why she would tell you about Mr. X
1.She truly does want to be honest with you and is truly confused about Mr. X and u to the point she feels she needs to tell you, which means she is interested in u, just doesnt know how to handle it in conjunction with Mr. X
She is not quite enough interested in u that she is using Mr. X as an excuse to keep u as just a friend
She is using it as a way to let u know ur not the only one on her mind..so step it up honey!
I have to agree with some of the gentlemen that u sure dont want to end up being the side dish instead of the main course! So I think keeping her as a friend can be good, as long as u do keep it strictly as a friendship…that is if u are lookin into a more serious respectful relationship with this gal. Just make sure u both are always on the same page to avoid any messy hurtful situations! Instant Honesty and Openness will help! hehe
wish u the best…know how that feels…I always make sure to respect myself, people do look for that in their future/current partner
I hope it’s true for her…
but really there are people who can control themselves more than others..
of course if I increase the androstenone dosage like I plan to do tomorrow with my date, that’s another thing perhaps… hope that gets her to allow me to kiss her with a truffle…
Would love to see the reaction.
