Hello everyone. Thank you again for your help. I know I know, another newbie post. Everyone has to start somewhere right?
I have been married for many years and have kids. Over the past several months my marriage has been rocky. I have been working very diligently in repairing my marriage for myself, wife, and especially for my children. We have been in couples therapy and have made tons of strides. My wife has even told me several times that I am being the perfect husband. We go out dancing, dinners, vacations, wine tasting, to the beach, and all kinds of other fun activities. We have sex several times per week. On the weeks that I can sense she is feeling closer to me her orgasms are very strong. Then we will have a set back (like she has a memory of the past), and things go to crap for weeks. The sex goes downhill.
Part of our history is that my behavior made her feel low about herself and she eventually built up a mountain of resentment and then came anger for me. Even though she says I have been perfect for a half a dozen months, she is having a hard time with our past.
I am considering Pheromones that would promote her openness to help her let down the resentment and anger, start trusting me more, and help her fall in love with me again. No, I don’t think pheromones are a magic bullet that will solve my problems. Though, I do feel that every little help I can get is good. So my goal is more of the trust and love side of pheromones, and not necessarily to increase her sex drive and desire. Though, we have always been extremely sexually compatible and she says when she has strong orgasms it can make her feel whole again.
I did make a new member introduction and described my story above. Aghor was very nice and recommended Instant Honesty and Instant Shine. I just ordered the Newbie kit that has small versions of just about everything. Including Instant Honesty and Instant Shine.
Anyone have any other recommendations? My situation isn’t the typical ones I have found posted here, as I am not looking to attract new people. I am trying to improve my interactions with my wife. I have a lot to lose and don’t have a lot of room for mistakes.
I know your not looking at pheromone to solve your problems and thats good because they wont.
Pheromones cant erase a problem that already exists. They cant make her let go of her resentment and neither can you. While they can signal trustworthiness, if our behavior has not been congruent with that, the signal will be disregarded. They dont make us forget past behavior so I am not going to mislead you into thinking they will heal anything.
That being said Aghor made some good suggestions.
IH is a good choice if your ready to hear how she truly feels. You may not like what she has to say though so be sure you are ready to hear it. Where love affection and connection exist IH is great at reinforcing it and making things feel new however it has its drawbacks in that it will open the truth up as to what person is feeling good or bad. You say she has feeling of resentment still. It wont make her stop feeling that. Use this in therapy or when your ready to talk seriously about her feelings and yours.
Ishine will be your best bet for daily wear. IG would be a good choice as well. Considering what she knows about your and your situation its a better choice then something like A314. You would need to work your way back to that vibe.
TUTH I would wait on. Reinforce the emotional side first. As you mentioned sexual attraction is not a problem for the both of you. Its the emotions that get in the way sometimes. You dont want to push in this area right now. Its going to take time for her to work through those emotions. When she is feeling those feelings of disconnect she is processing emotions, dealing with her memories. Give her the space to do that. Just back off and let her process.
Other then those I would suggest P74 to reinforce the bond you both have. I would also look into A1. Its not sold here but there are other good sources online. Most people use Liquid Alchemy Labs for that or go on down to the drug store and get some dial magnetic body wash which has A1 in it.
The past can not be changed. It can take seconds to build that mountain and years to take it down but time will begin to heal this. Doing what your doing now, putting an effort into your marriage, slowly its making a difference and eventually she will have more good memories then bad ones and things should improve. That’s really all you have control over. You have no control over the past or how she feels about herself. People like to say “you made me feel” We don’t make people feel and neither do pheromones. Our actions, behaviors and pheromones bring up feelings that already existed in them.
Like I said you cant erase those memories and they will pop up time and again but as time go’s by it will happen less and less often. You going to be taking two steps forward one step back for a while. Just keep stepping.
So for a few days I have been wearing Instant Shine and Instant Gentlemen. I am doing two sprays to the face of IS and 1 spray of IG (each) on each forearm and spreading it a long my jaw line.
I don’t know if I have felt any personal differences. Sometimes I feel like maybe a little, but not sure. Though, I do already feel pretty good about myself. I have the best kids around, a great job, house, car, etc. Among my friends and relatives I am known to be a gentlemen. I am also in my late 30’s in age. I am not sure if that matters.
My wife has now said on two occasions (different days) that I smell really good. I have also noticed, a very slight warming of her. She seems very slightly nicer and maybe a tiny bit more communicative.
Today, I added 1 spray on each forearm of IO. I do think she was more open to discussion and more comfortable in talking. Not by a lot, but very little. Like if I were to give it a number, her friendliness and willingness to talk went from a 15 out of 100 - to something like a 17 of 100.
I am still a little worried to try Instant Honesty yet. I do want to hear everything she has to say, brutal or not. I just feel that timing is right. If we can warm things up a bit first, it might make those conversations smoother.
Any thoughts and or feedback? Should I keep to the same doses or increase? Should I add anything and/or change anything.
Thank you for the help.
P.S. I have also been using Dial Magnetic for my daily showers.
If you haven’t read Somechick’s Journal (http://www.pheromonetalk.com/womens-journals/somechicks-journal-57470) She points out that p78 has a very sensual and passionate quality to it. Couple that with maybe some actual a1 it might relax your wife to a greater degree while adding more passionate moments during the day/week.
I have to admit, I have seen a difference in my wife since wearing IS, IG, IO daily. I get compliments that I smell good and she is more touchy feely. Both of my daughters tell me they love me about 3x more than usual. Which means they tell me they love me about 30 times a day instead of 10. My daughters make this dreamy face when they randomly comment on how great I smell. haha
The differences in my wife’s behaviors are not night and day, and sometimes I wonder if it’s making any difference at all. Though, after I review (in my mind) my interactions with my wife for a whole day, I realize there has been subtle differences. Which is great, and is really all I can ask for really. I know there is no magic here that will change my marriage, except the work that my wife and I do with each other to have a health relationship. With the mones, I am just looking to smooth the edges. My wife already tells me that I am the man she always dreamed of, and I already do everything she has always wanted in me. Though, the hurt from the past is a roadblock and she doesn’t feel love. No I have never cheated on her, she has always been the only one for me. Our issues really focus around poor communication and resentment that built up between each other. Not always nice conversations between us in the past.
I look at this as a long process and take it one day at a time. Building healthy memories between us. The more of these there are, the smaller the old memories become. I am hoping the mones help her focus on the present instead of the past. Like adding grease to the wheels.
I hope to be the swans that people used to describe us as. Over the many years we have been married we have been complemented in so many ways about how we love each other. Though, once that is broken it’s REALLY difficult to get back there. Trust me.
Wish me luck.
P.S. It feels really strange airing these extremely personal matters on an Internet forum. Though, my family is worth doing anything to save. Doing what I gotta do.
To answer the A1 dosage question - yes, 30mcg sounds about right. Make sure though about the mcg per drop thing - the descriptions on the internet can be outright confusing, like Love Scent selling two different bottle sizes of the same A1, but describes the bigger bottle as “double strength”.
As soon as you do know what you’re applying, then yes again, 30 up to maybe 50mcg, you really don’t know to use more than that. That’s why I suggested checking that strength out, as 10mcg per drop of oil sound kinda low…
And androstadienone really seems to be molecule to use here… Slowly, just start adding it to the mix and let it work over time, that’s what it does best.
Yep, double check your numbers, 'cause it comes in a 10 mil dropper bottle, and is guaranteed to be 10 mcg dry weight of A-1. I “THOUGHT” for years it was around 45 mcgs per drop.
Anyway, I think it will do a lot for you if the door is not closed. Good luck!
Thanks for the help. Here is the description of what I bought from liquid alchemy labs “The 10 ml 5mg bottle yields 10mcg per drop at 500 drops per bottle”.
Ok. So what should I try for this weekend to promote cuddling, snuggling, kissing, and that lovey cozy feeling?
I was thinking a combo of IS, IO, IG, A1, P74, P78.
Any advice on amounts and where to spray them (A1 is a dropper though, so I won’t be spraying this one)? I am supposed to get the P74 and P78 today from Fedex, but the shipping status hasn’t changed so I might not have these for the weekend.
My guess is would be this:
2-3 sprays of IS to the face.
(2 total sprays), 1 spray each wrist of IO.
(2 total sprays), 1 spray each forearm of IG, and then spread along my jawline.
(3 total drops of A1, for a total of 30mcg). 1 drop of A1 to back of neck, 1 drop of A1 to chest, 1 drop of A1 on one wrist and spread that drop to the other wrist.
If I get P74 and P78 today I would add them like this:
2 sprays of P74 to chest.
2 sprays of P78 to chest.
I welcome your guidance, thoughts, and feedback. Thank you
So this weekend I got my A1 and did a bunch of testing. I ran out of IS. So most of my testing was with just A1 & IO. It was A1 & IO all weekend, and then last night I tried A1 + Ammunition (just a curiosity). Here were my results.
Friday, I tried 30mcg of A1 with two sprays of IO, and I didn’t really see much difference. After about 5 hours, I decided to re-up the A1 and IO. This time with 50mcg of A1. I noticed a marked difference in her wanting to be touchy feely and close to me. Though, I did notice a self affect at this level of A1. I can see why people can say they can get depressed. I could of gone there if I wasn’t being strong minded.
Throughout the weekend, I found that A1 at 50mcg to be the magic number. It was for sure making the most marked difference since I have been testing pheromones. Though, there was one hour or so where I think I went over 50mcg by accident, and I felt really sad. I was able to just mentally handle it, but it was weird as I felt I could cry for no reason really. I figure, that isn’t very attractive to women (like my wife) so it’s better not to make that mistake again.
Last night I decided to try a spray of ammunition to the chest and see what happens. Things turned around quickly. Before spraying the ammunition, earlier in the evening she was initiating sex. I did the one spray right before climbing in bed and she landslided toward distancing herself from me. Not drastic, but enough to not be in the mood and not really into cuddling either. I am guessing that Ammunition isn’t a good choice for us, at least at this point.
Ok, today I have everything that I ordered. Any thoughts on the combination I described above. To review, I was thinking of the following platform of pheromones to wear around my wife on a regular basis:
My guess is would be this:
2-3 sprays of IS to the face.
(2 total sprays), 1 spray each forearm of IG, and then spread along my jawline.
(5 total drops of A1, for a total of 50mcg). 4 drops of A1 to back of neck, 1 drop of A1 to chest.
2 sprays of P74 to chest.
2 sprays of P78 to chest.
Later, at some point, I would like to also introduce IH to the mix.
Well, I tried the above ratios. Here are my results:
Monday and Monday night. She was wanting to be close to me often. Lots of legs wrapping the other, her head on my shoulder while watching TV, etc. We got intimate that night and things got very very hot. Much more than normal. I was getting excited and feeling like I have a winning Pheromone combo.
Tuesday & Wednesday were similar but not as intimate. She was more distant than Monday, but still affectionate at times. Comparing to before I started with the Pheromones, she has been more affectionate than she has been in weeks. She would put her leg over mine and put her head on my shoulder while watching TV. She kissed me a few times over the night for no reason. Though, the nights felt like she went warm/hot for a while and then coldish/warm for a while. Then warm, etc. She did catch a cold on Tuesday and is taking Nyquil to deal. Maybe the phereomone combo is right, and she is just distant because she is sick. In the past, before our marital problems she would always want MORE attention and cuddling when she was sick. Though, nowadays, I have this theory that it takes her a lot of mental energy to feel happy around me. So maybe when she is sick and feels tired, it’s harder for her to feel close to me.
For now I feel like keeping to the same Pheromone combos and numbers to see what happens. Any feedback?
Dude you are turning yourself into a phero cocktail… while that would make you an excellent test subject, in you specific case, I’d suggest that you go easy… get a double strength Shine bottle if you gonna continue using A1. Nothing like A1 though.. I used to get mild depressive when I first wore it, but after a dozen usage or so, I no longer had that problem…
dont be so scared of IH… it wont kill you… IH is not just about candid conversations… I feel it promotes bonding… since you are taking efforts to bond with her.. IH can help much more than IO. Use it together with IS
Tisha has given you some wonderful advise..stick to that and with your efforts hopefully everything will turnout to be well
Thank you for the help. Looks like a great combo. I do care about the closeness more than horny. We need to bond and feel love. Focus more on he present and future. I have all these pheromones besides est, which doesn’t seem in production.
I first thought combo2, with the p78, would be the perfect mix. Though, after several tests, combo1 seems to be the best mix. Taking p78 out of the mix consistently proved to help her feel close to me. Maybe P78 is something we need to work up to.
On another note, instant honesty is just WOW! At first I didn’t feel or see any affects. I feel like there must be a delayed affect and/or it needs time to set in. My wife and I had conversations over the past few days that we have never ever had before. We have known each other for almost 20 years. We really opened up and it’s been fantastic. I never felt out of controll or worried I would say something stupid. I need to get a large bottle of this stuff.
Everyone has to start somewhere right? 
while that would make you an excellent test subject, in you specific case, I’d suggest that you go easy… get a double strength Shine bottle if you gonna continue using A1. Nothing like A1 though.. I used to get mild depressive when I first wore it, but after a dozen usage or so, I no longer had that problem…