Hi everyone, I’ve been reading posts on here for a little while and I’m psyched to find so many intelligent, nice people in one place, and science people at that! Here’s a general overview of me, I’d love to glean recommendations from you guys, I’ll be as detailed as possible because I’m extremely interested in the science. This is going to be lengthy so I apologize in advance, and thank you in advance if you bear with me 
: Physically I’m a 4’11" female, about 95 lbs., straw. blond hair longish, no style, blue eyes. Irish/Scottish/English/German/Mohawk (1/8 Moh) (Bio. father was adopted, his records show only “English” but he looks Scotch/Irish). 34-24-34 and 34C-D. As far as “feminine attractiveness”, actual physical looks sans personality, etc. my opinion is that I look more like a leprachaun than a swimsuit model, but the rub is that I’ve been told that I’m “supermodel gorgeous” and also that I “look like a gnome” (quotes by people I trust) so that leads me to believe that it is SOLELY in the eye of the beholder… (Other quotes: "You look EXACTLY like: Pia Zedora, Linda Hamilton, Stevie Nicks, Rebecca Demornay, ALSO Clive Burr, Randy Rhoads, Tom Hamilton, you get the picture, all very distinctly different people) Normal proportions, nothing abnormal, athletic-ish but not muscular build. I don’t do drugs, I drink about 10 times a year, my diet is and has always been rather starchy and basic (granola, PBJ, pasta, fruit, raw vegetables, I hate cooked veges and I hate condiments). The only thing I can think of that might carry some significance here is that I have to change deodorants because they stop working, and I do sweat a little more than average, its not noticeable to others though. I’m 41 and I have one son who is 22. I look younger than I am, on a good day like 25, on a bad day add 10 years. I’m an artist, singer, songwriter, carpenter (I like to make stuff) and I love science AND science fiction. And no I don’t have a lot of close friends… but I DO have a ton of acquaintances. My personal history is a rollercoaster of weirdness, a friend said my life reminds him of the “Truman Show”, lol. Here’s where the interest in pheromones comes in and also where my interest (okay obsession) with human behavior/interaction/psychology also comes in. I was molested from the age of 8 to 12 by 2 different people. I was raped by 5 different boys I knew as a teenager. I have been pursued and stalked by male coworkers/bosses (including but not limited to: overt sexual advances, letters with explicit content, making up stories to other coworkers about our “affair”, telling me not to wear panties to work) at 5 separate workplaces in 3 different states by 18 different men (the last place accounts for 12 of them, 10K employees). (I filed one lawsuit just because the company tried to fire me instead of even disciplining him, and I wasn’t even the one who reported him!) Many men have reacted to me over my lifetime just like Julia’s post here https://pheromonetalk.com/t/why-does-every-guy-think-i-want-them-when-i-wear-pheros/29586 (Why does every guy think I want them when I wear pheros???), and it still happens, the other night I went to the casino where I used to work and I can’t count the number of strange men who either stared at me like I was made of cheeseburgers or who stopped me to talk to me. A nice Mexican man wouldn’t let go of my hand and told me in great detail how I needed love in my life and he needed to love me… It is irrelevant what I am wearing or what makeup I have on (usually none). My usual dress is jeans or carpenter’s pants, a t-shirt or sweatshirt, sneakers or workboots. I don’t wear perfume, not on purpose, I just don’t think of it. I am NOT a flirter, never have been, don’t dress up unless I need to, and usually wear gender-neutral clothes. I was raised to be polite and courteous to everyone, and I try to maintain a positive attitude to everyone, but I’m not a “flirt” by any stretch. I’m actually a “tomboy” for lack of a better term, not in a “butch” or masculine-on-purpose way, I just don’t know how else to describe it. I’m not un-feminine but I’m not a girl off of a soap opera. “Gender roles” are lost on me.
Another WEIRD reaction I get is unprovoked subtle or overt aggression from women, from standard backstabbing crap to physical attacks. I’ve been physically threatened by the sisters of 3 different boyfriends, and actually attacked by one, who was actually homosexual. I did absolutely nothing to any of them, in fact nothing I did FOR them was ever enough. But the weirdest thing is total strangers, adult women, giving me a stare of death, like “What the hell are YOU doing here?”, and I mean the cashier at Wal-Mart, some woman outside a restaurant, just random strangers. I would think I was crazy but my friends have noticed times that I didn’t even see it happen. The OTHER really significant thing that has impacted me most of my life is the way people in general have utterly ignored what I’m actually saying, or what is actually happening in my life. Like a bad Twilight Zone. One of my brothers and one female friend help me stay grounded, but that’s it. It’s as if the whole world tries to “Alpha” me about everything, except for the men who are stalking me… For instance when I won the city spelling bee they “forgot” to send me to the state spelling bee. When my neighbor dropped me on my head and my back jammed my family was annoyed that I was convulsing on the floor (no hospital). Let me qualify by saying that my family consists of kind, intelligent people, they’re not weird or substance abusers or anything at all. I was in a motorcycle accident and no one NOTICED that I was in the accident, they ignored me and focused only on my friend who was driving. (I thought I had been killed and was invisible, lol). My school counselors didn’t NOTICE when I sat in the counseling office waiting for them and crying for three hours (crying because a fellow student had tried to rape me on the way home and no one believed me). Wait it gets better: when my husband who had left me came back one night and tried to KILL me and my son (obviously I got away), I went to the magistrate to file charges, the magistrate asked me why I was making a big deal out of it, and should just TALK IT OVER with him. Also my parents wouldn’t let me come home because they didn’t believe me (they swear they don’t remember any of it!) IF YOU HAVE GOTTEN THIS FAR GOD BLESS YOU 
And if I’m still within the parameters of my original line of thought… Okay so this weirdness has followed me all of my life, has caused problems in almost every job I’ve had, it’s also affected my son which really pisses me off. Anyway the current PRESSING situation is this: I co-own and operate a contracting/remodeling business. It’s just me and my partner on most jobs. Now, I understand that in some places the monkeys still can’t believe that men can cook and women can use a screwdriver, but it’s ridiculous, and I need it to stop NOW before I lose my mind. I have been doing this kind of work since I was a child, I don’t show a lack of professionalism, I don’t struggle like I’m “green” or struggle physically. But the NONSTOP condescension, or outright ignoring me, from everyone connected including suppliers, clients, other contractors, and even hired help, has to end. The clients are the weirdest, they usually START OUT treating me with respect, but the as time goes on they don’t just start treating me with less respect, they actually start to COMPETE with me! As in insisting that I can’t lift something and so THEY lift it, and also by singing the praises of my male partner to me. They go so far as to PRAISE HIM for MY WORK. It’s mindblowing. And both genders do it, all ages do it. The women tend make it personal against ME, and both the men AND women try to “bond” with my partner by trying to talk to him about “GUY” stuff , I can actually smell it and it makes my neck tighten up. He hates it and tries to diffuse it but I think that just pisses them off. He’s definitely got an alpha vibe, people treat him like he’s Mister Knowledge/Talent Master frequently, and random women coo at him. Which is also weird, since he does NOTHING to invite any of it, believe me I watch for it. He’s not even very friendly. Today our 65 year old female client who has RA, who is actually a good friend from our former workplace, decided to show my partner and I that she was stronger than me and insisted on helping him move a stack of material from one side of the yard to another, and wouldn’t let me do it because “if she couldn’t do it no one could.” The conversation before that incident was about her GARDEN, nothing more. IF you’ve read this far, you may have noticed that instead of just telling what was going on, I felt the need to explain, and that’s a by-product of being minimized for so long. I actually have to repeat what I say to nearly everyone in order for them to hear what I am saying, including my partner (“We need a new drill the old one died.. we need a new drill… we need a new drill…the old one died…” “Did you say you need to use the drill?”) I have thousands of examples, and witnesses to back it up, but I’m thinking that you guys probably believe me since you are already here experimenting with pheromones!!! I’m not new to studying human behavior/interaction or pheromones, but I’m no expert and if you would be so kind as to advise me with your experiences or assessments, it is much, much welcomed!
Thank you soo much!