Herbal Oxytocin or others to promote feels of love towards women?

Field Reports & Anecdotal Experience Men's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports
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Thought I’d come here to ask if you guys know about Blue Cohosh or Black Cohosh or any other Herbal remedies that promote Oxytocin hormones in the body but preferably in the mind (Pituitary gland).

Basically I have some bizarre situation/condition which means I feel very little desire or yearning or loving feeling now towards women. How the hell it came about I don’t really know but I’m stuck with it. The desire isn’t what it use to be and its palpable. I’ve had this for about 5 months now. It actually led me into a depression which I’m currently dealing with.

I have sexual desire and I can get turned on by a women but I now know that sexual desire alone simple isn’t enough for a guy as you really need to want a women if that makes sense. That feeling of wanting a women isn’t for some reason present in my mind. To me this is definitely a deficiency of a neurotransmitter or a hormone or something because in the past I wouldn’t think twice about my desire if that makes sense.

So there is my situation and I’m open to any and all ways to help me.

Currently I’m taking the Herbal remedies 5htp & Tyrosine for depression and superficially I think they’re helping. Before that I was on Sertraline and then St John’s Wort and both turned out to be useless so I’ve come off them.

I really need to move on from this situation because as you can imagine it really ain’t no fun and to say it gets a person down is an understatement!!

Thanks in advance guys.

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To quote Bruce Almighty, you can’t control free will or love.

The time you’ll find love is when you aren’t looking for it. So I would concentrate on stress-reducing herbal supplements instead.

Talk to your doctor if its that big of a deal that you think it may be neurological or physical in any way.

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Thanks for your response but with respect I don’t think you get me. I’ll put it more clearly … the buzz, those butterflies in the stomach when I talk to women, that yearning and that desire to be with a woman - all gone.

I’ll give you just one example I met a two girls in the West End and I was with my wing. We started chatting to them and one thing led to another and we ended up going for a meal together. I felt nothing absolutely nothing. This girl was gorgeous and I knew it objectively but I felt nothing. She had a lot going for her but I felt nothing. Naturally it ruined the interaction because what should be a fun experience ends up becoming a depressing one.

At the moment all I have is a very base level of sexual desire and I now realise that’s not enough. Having sex with a woman isn’t enough there is a big ‘wanting’ and ‘yearning’ emotional coponent and without it the whole process falls on its face.

This ain’t no “I’m looking for the one” thread. And trust me you wouldn’t want this problem. It sucks all the joy out of your life.

Further thoughts welcome.

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Well what your referring to is most likely a hormonal issue and not a pheromone issue. We of course are not doctors so we cant tell you what your hormones are up to.

I would go to a doctor and get your hormones checked out. Make sure your levels are all where they should be before messing with different herbs or medications.

If you want to go the natural holistic route then go to The Institute for Functional Medicine and find a practitioner in your area. They can do tests and help you regulate your hormones.

You need to know what is out of balance before you can balance it with herbs or any other meds.

There are certain herbs that may help but without actually seeing you and getting a whole profile on you its hard to say. There could be other issues that are causing this. For instance are you sure the depression followed the lack of libido and connection or was it present before and unrecognized. What is your build like, are you muscular or lacking in muscle tone ? Are you on other medications ? There is a slew of questions a herbalist needs answered before giving you herbs.

Some you may want to research though…

Black Cohosh is used to balance hormones. Wait to get tested before you use it. You want to find out what hormones are out of wack first. It doesn’t increase the production of oxytocin though.

Ashwagandha is another you may want to look into.

Panax ginseng i

However without knowing what out of balance your really just taking a shot in the dark. Research them before you take them of course.

You can try various pheromones. Some can increase arousal or feelings of connection in the user as well as the target but I really think your issue is more medical then pheromonal.

Keep in mind that oxytocin is only secreted from the body after sex or during breast feeding. Babies receive in in the breast milk which causes the bonding effect. In sex it increases the bonding effect and is what causes the contractions felt during orgasm in both males and females.
Arousal and desire which your referring to in your question have already occured. Oxytocin definitely has a effect on pair bonding after sex not before. It doesnt act as a pheromone in my opinion but I am sure it needs more testing in that area.

If your not getting to the part where you desire sex and bonding then that has nothing to do with your oxytocin levels. I think yiour looking in the wrong direction with this one.

I know some people dont like going to the doctor but you really need to see one whether it is a medical doctor or a functional medicine practitioner to get the full picture of what your body needs.

Oh and those butterflies in your stomach are not a indicator of attraction. They can occur when your attracted but they are from anxiety or nerves.

Tisha

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Thanks for your response Tisha.

Yeah, I’ve been to the Doctor many times about this issue lol!!

I’ll be honest yes I was depressed before this problem really kicked in. I would say I probably had minor depression or at best serious blues. Then literally one day the desire to want a women just seemed to switch off and now its very faint. Again Libido seems to be a difference sort of issue in that its present and I can get in the mood given the right circumstances but its somehow disjointed from the other emotional components that make up desire if that makes sense. For instance I saw my ex a few weeks ago we were meeting as friends (yeah that worked not) and well lets just say I found a certain part of my body spring into action without too much prompting lol.

What I would say is I do definitely know the difference in feeling for example before I had sex with my ex there was tonnes of cuddling, stroking her, holding hands and all that and the desire to be with her was strong even prior to sex. For me that bonding desire was probably even stronger than that sexual desire initially or certainly ver equal. Right now I don’t seem to have that bonding desire at all for women.

I have had my hormonal levels checked out and there all good in fact my testerone levels were apparently way above average lol.

Its hard to explain Tisha you know that feeling of just wanted to hug and hold someone 'cause you want them so much that’s just kinda not there I guess. And I find myself having to think about it 'cause the core feeling … that burning desire isn’t there.

I always got butterflies in the stomach when I spoke to a lady I was attracted to that is standard but I’ve spoken to a lot of girls in the past 5 months and there’s kinda just been that I don’t give a fuck feeling coming over me. I don’t want to feel like that. Its crazy because if anything over this past few months I’ve had so many situations and positive ones but haven’t felt enough desire for some reason.

I think my issue is a essentially a biological one and slightly pyschological because for example I can get pleasure from making music and listening to it but essentially that is an out of conscious experience if you understand what I’m saying. That is you don’t have to think about the pleasure you’re getting from it you just enjoy it. Although that not to say I’m not mentally aware when I’m enjoying something or not because I’m very aware of it as many people who suffer from depression are.

Anyways what Pheromones would you suggest to kick off my arousal and desire?

Cheers.

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Sounds like you should get checked out by a psychologist or someone who can analyze you for depression. This doesn’t seem like something pheromones can change.

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I’m no expert at all… but it kind of sounds to me like you’re just not getting that feeling with these girls… I mean yeah you can get sexual desire from a lot of women, but you’re not going to fall for, or get strong relationship feelings for MOST of them. I only get that butterflies in the stomach thing when I’m head over heels for a girl, which is certainly NOT the case with all girls I’m sexually attracted to… Just wondering if this could be it, coupled with depression?

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Perhaps. I certainly don’t need to get that “head over heels” feeling but just a reasonable desire to be intimate would be sweet. Not only that when I see women I have to really force myself to go and chat with them as the desire just isn’t there like before.

I know its hard for normal guys to understand … hell its bloody hard for me to understand lol that’s why I’m so damn depressed. I didn’t even think about this stuff before it was just 2nd nature.

Anyways the girls I’ve been talking to were attractive no question about that so at the very least I should have a pretty darn strong urge to want to sleep with them! E.g. the black girl I picked up in the West End and who I went to dinner with alongside my wing was seriously cute!

Its truly madness. I swear I wouldn’t even be depressed were it not for this shit.

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I worked at the vitamin shoppe for over 2 years and you got your herbs down pretty well! I would like to add my personal favorite upper dimethylamylamine or 1,3 (same thing) this promotes tremendous positive mood and almost a high! It is found in a lot of the newer fat burners and pre-workouts. This makes everything Rainbows and Unicorns for me :stuck_out_tongue: I have my personal product arriving within the week! This is by NO means a cure. but this could help cheer you up in the mean time.

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Interesting I haven’t heard of that before so I’ll check it out.

I dunno I hate to say it but I’m kinda back to feeling how I was before I started on 5htp and Tyrosine. I thought they were do something at first but I’m now on the second day of feeling pretty low so my feeling is these Herbal remedies don’t do much other than act as Placebo.

Again my view is I have no reason to be depressed other than this bullshit which is enough to get even the most positive of people down!

I’ll see but if I’m not feeling better or stable when I get to the end of the bottles otherwise I won’t bother wasting my money on them again.

I think the truth is this lack of feeling for women crap is what’s getting me down and keep my down no matter what I take.

I may somehow just have to accept this going to be my fuckin’ reality because its the only way I can actually deal with it otherwise it just destroys my day.

Anyways thanks for the thoughts!

Appreciated.

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Would they have this at a health food shop? They have one around here that I got to often. They have tons of herbal remedies and vitamins. would i just look for something called dimethylamylamine? I’d be interested in giving it a go.

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Dimethylamylamine, :open_mouth: Good goddess I would think twice before taking that. Its derived from one component of geranium oil but synthesized into a high concentration that is used in decongestants. Kids use it to get high because its a strong stimulant. It can cause neurological damage and stroke. Its not a vitamin, supplement or a herb. It is not banned by the FDA here yet but other countries are banning it due to sudden deaths in those using it. Everything that makes you feel good is not good for you.

Did he/she check your prolactin levels ? People often associate prolacton levels with women’s issues but men produce it as well. Real high levels can cause erectile dysfunction. I know you dont suffer that just stay with me a minute here… Anything below 15 ng is considered “normal” by most doctors standards however 2 ng to 4 ng is the normal morning range for men. Now even though most medical conditions dont occur from high prolacton until your well over 15ng if your in the 8 ng to 14 ng range you could suffer lack of desire without the other symptoms of high prolactin like erectile dysfunction or infertility. Medical doctors dont consider it a problem unless you suffer from ED so they pay little attention to it being mildly elevated.

Stress can cause you to produce more prolactin. Also some anti-depressants and painkillers block dopamine, preventing prolactin secretion from being inhibited causing your prolactin levels to rise.

I am not saying this is it but its something to consider which is why I had mentioned functional medicine practitioners. They usually check levels upon waking and later in the day to see your range.

A lot of it can also be pyschological caused by many different reasons.

How new is the divorce ? Mens preferences do change with age it just may be that your needs are different now then before you were married. I am not suggesting you need “the one” I dont believe in the one but you may need more then pretty and fun now and that doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you. It just means you have matured.

Also the mind is a powerful tool. If you believe that you cant feel sexual desire without the bonded feeling you wont. You may believe that now because of the connected relationship you had with your ex. Your not looking to replace her your looking to replace the feeling that connection gave you. It could be the very same feeling you mentioned you get from music Your associating that feeling to sexual desire.

I really think you should at least think about seeing a therapist just to get a handle on your feelings and explore whats causing the block. There are to many possibilities to go over in a forum. Since you already checked out the medical end it cant hurt to give that a try and if you dont like it you can always stop going.

Pheromones signal something about you to others. They really are not to increase your own arousal and desire unless the girl you meet is wearing them. However they can boost confidence and a feeling of masculinity in some men when using them so there are possibilities.

I would suggest you start with AMMO and Ishine for regular use. If your clubbing or going out to parties, bars or social events go with TUTH. See how you do with those first.

The moment you stop fighting it and just except it is sometime the moment it go’s away. Seriously, right now your so focused on it thats all you can see. Its sort of like when your looking and looking for the right partner and the minute you say “I give up she’s are not out there” they show up.

Just take some deep breaths, go out have fun and stop trying so hard. It will come.

Tisha

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wow… okay… no dice on that then :slight_smile:
Was going to research it but I see now I have no reason to lol. Thanks

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This may be obvious but you should also make sure you’re eating right. And see a neurologist. Sometimes people talk about an inability to feel something and it’s a literal disconnect in the brain. You need to seek professional opinions from doctors instead of asking on a forum that’s about pheromones.
If I had a problem with my car, I don’t ask my grandmother’s fight club, you know? This isn’t a pheromone issue it sounds like a hormonal or neurological issue.

Especially because oxytocin can not yet be perfectly synthesized itself despite what anybody tries to sell you.